There's A Light In the Attic
by ravenous.bunny
Summary: "There's a light on in the attic. Though the house is dark and shuttered, I can see a flickering flutter, and I know what it's about. I can see it from the outside, and I know you're on the inside... looking out." -Shel Silverstein -Riku/OC
1. Chapter 1

"_Listen, kid. In this life, our choices usually fall under two categories – the coward's choice, and the honest man's choice."_

"_I'm not a man!"_

"_That's irrelevant."_

Sweat dripped down my face, the sun beating on my back in its usual merciless fashion. _These buggers again?_ I thought, and my father's words spilled through my mind once more.

"_The coward will lie, cheat, and run from any problem in fear, but the honest man confronts it. You take the option of confronting fear, _every time_ it's presented to you. Understand?"_

"_Yeah, Dad, I understand. Can I finish my ice cream now?"_

Black, twitching creatures that almost had human bodies (if you ignored the antennae sticking out of their head) surrounded me. I sighed.

"You guys suck, you know that?"

I knew they didn't understand. These monsters – these heartless, the shells of people after their hearts have been devoured – can't comprehend language. They can't even comprehend emotion; only instinct. They're getting so bad that the leaders of some worlds are paying to have them exterminated, even if their absence only lasts a short time.

My mind raced for the quickest way to get rid of them. Fire? No – that really only takes out large numbers if you cast a ring around yourself, which was a little more effort than I liked to put into these shadows – the lowest-ranking heartless. Blizzard would only hold them still, unless I used Blizzara, which was still a bit too much effort. But thunder – that was the spell to use.

A heartless leapt towards me and I jumped backwards, right into three other shadows. I pointed my right index finger towards the sky. _Thunder_, I thought. Lightning cracked all around me, zapping all the heartless. They melted into the ground, avoiding any physical attacks. _Thunder!_ I thought a second time, and they dissipated into black smoke. Physical attacks may completely miss when they fuse with the ground, but they can't run from magic.

I felt a tickle on my shin and looked down to see a blood seeping out of a little scratch. _They actually hit me this time, huh? Friggin' pests. Next time I'll pay more attention to the suppression._ I was a better "exterminator" than most, because I could feel the presence of darkness in the world I was lending a hand to. Why I had this ability, I wasn't really sure – but something told me I got the intuition from my father.

The sun was beginning to set, finally, and a breeze kicked up so that I could cool off as I headed for the inn. A free meal and place to lay my head was part of the deal I'd cut with the town mayor, along with 700 munny every day no one was eaten by heartless. The flow of darkness entering the world's heart was beginning to settle, and soon a more relaxed guard could take care of this world. Meanwhile, I would do what I could to enjoy my stay here.

I found the hotel I was staying in, without incident. The food wasn't great, but it was filling, which was all I needed. Everyone was quiet, no one bothered me with useless chit-chat, and I could have a peaceful night. Relatively peaceful, anyway. I knew the moment my head hit the pillow, I'd be lost in that same confusing dream.

_Everything is black, and sound is muted. I try to speak, call out to see if anyone's there, but my voice is incredibly weak. A sound rings in my ears, so loud I can barely stand it – footsteps are approaching me from the left. _

"_You shouldn't be here." It's a man speaking, his tone soft but decided, firm._

_I try to tell him I don't want to be, I try to tell him I'm trying to get home, but my voice is still too weak._

"_You're not corrupted. Why are you here?"_

_Suddenly I can see him. He's taller than I am, with hair longer than mine, wearing a black hooded coat, and his eyes—_

My own eyes snapped open to morning sunlight, brighter than I could handle, and I blinked several times. I took a deep breath. "I never _do_ see his eyes," I growled.

The scratch on my leg had healed over, and after pulling on the usual – torn up cargo pants, faded red hoodie, slightly shredded converse – I took a deep breath and carefully considered if any part of me felt heavier than usual.

After a long, analytical moment of normalcy, I decided to take a walk around town and see if I could find anything unusual on the move.

The morning sun casts a warm glow on my back as I move around town, and for a moment, I feel peaceful. At ease. Even a little… at home.

I stop myself a moment. _No. This is not home. This is a job._ I closed my eyes and cracked my neck. "Gotta keep my head on straight," I said quietly to myself, but the emotion I was usually able to beat down reared its miserable head.

"_Do you have to go to the bathroom before we head home?"_

"_No."_

"_Try anyway."_

"_But I—"_

"_Miyuki. What did I just tell you?"_

_I sighed dramatically. "Fine…"_

_He chuckled and kissed my forehead. "Go on, kid."_

_I was only six. It wasn't _that_ unusual for a parent to insist their kid go to the bathroom even if they don't feel like it, but I still knew something was wrong. When I finished washing my hands, I heard screaming from the ice cream shop. Heartless were in the ice cream shop, devouring everyone – including my father. I cried so hard I couldn't breathe, and suddenly I felt as though I was being pulled down – as if gravity's force had multiplied. The last thing I remember seeing of that world is my father's heart lifting from his body – then I was in Traverse Town._

_I was too little. Too weak. Too scared. _Anger rocked through me and I walked at a faster pace than usual. _I'll never stand by and watch someone be torn apart like that again._ My left hand felt a little heavy, a little weak, and I turned that way, quickening my pace towards the alley where I sensed the darkness' presence. I neared the edge of the shadows of the alley, my body feeling slightly heavier with each step.

I slowed to a stop at the sight of a masculine figure standing in front of a swirling black and blue sphere of what I could only imagine was raw darkness. He wore a long black coat, identical to the one in my dream, though the hood was pulled up so that I couldn't see his face.

I stared awestruck at the figure before me. _This isn't a heartless, is it?_ I took a step towards him, the sphere of darkness behind him disappearing – but even with the sphere gone, the presence of darkness lingered. _I'll bet he's just a higher-level heartless. But if he's human…_

"Do you have a heart?" I asked, not expecting a response.

The hood snapped up towards me – I knew he was looking at me now. _He's not a heartless. _"You're human," I mumbled, then stepped towards him a bit more. "Are you alright?"

He took a step backwards. _What's he doing? Why isn't he answering me?_

"Can you speak?"

He stepped backwards a bit more. _Does he think that portal's still there?_ His next step was uneven, and with a sharp _thunk_, he was on his back.

I cautiously walked over to him, keeping a distance of at least three feet between us. _I know you were in my dream. I just can't figure out why. It's not like I've met you._ His hand twitched.

"Now look," I spoke quickly, taking a step back, "I know you're not a heartless and you have a brain, so just so you know, one wrong move and you're toast. Got it?"

He slowly sat up and his hood fell backwards, revealing long silver hair and a black blindfold.

"So you _are_ human!" I cried victoriously, and he jumped a little, his head snapping towards me. "That can't have felt good. Here, let me give you a hand up." I reached towards him, waiting for him to reach out and take my hand. He ignored me and stood up on his own. "Um…" _Can't he hear me? I scared him when I yelled… So what's the matter with him?_ "Are you okay? That sounded really painful."

He pulled his hood back up and walked past me, holding one hand out, palm-forward in front of him. Another sphere opened up, and he walked right into it, the black and blue smoke wrapping around him until he completely disappeared.

_What…? He just walked right into it? Where's he going?_I waivered a moment, considering whether or not I should follow.

Suddenly the option was clear to me. "Yeah, I understand," I mumbled, and I ran into the darkness.

"_You take the option of confronting fear, _every time_ it's presented to you."_


	2. Chapter 2 Don't Chase Strangers

I felt like I was running underwater – like there was some force pushing against each muscle I moved. Everything was black for a brief moment, my head spinning slightly. I felt my body sway a bit, blinking slowly and trying to establish a sense of what exactly my surroudnings were. Suddenly the environment became clear to me, like a light had been switched on. It was a sort of huge tunnel, with walls and a floor made of bright blue and green swirls twisting against dark purple and black. I swallowed. _What exactly is going on? …Maybe it was stupid to jump into a swirling black cloud made of darkness._

I focused on the figure ahead of me – that guy in the black coat had his head turned, as if looking over his shoulder – though he may not have seen me through the blindfold.

I opened my mouth to speak, but my voice was surprisingly weak.

_Yeah, it was stupid. What was I thinking, chasing this guy? He's not a heartless, so according to my contract with the mayor of Twilight Town, I'm not required to eliminate him, no matter how much darkness I sense. _

I felt my knees shaking.

_I'm not about to fall, am I? I'm such an idiot! He's probably a psycho. I've probably been drugged. I'm probably hallucinating all this darkness._

"Go home," he said, and started walking away.

I spat the words, foolishly wasting breath. "I would, if I could move!"Just as I spoke, I slumped down, my knees slamming against the ground (which was much harder than I expected). I wanted to snort at the stupidity of his thinking I was able to move in all this darkness, but I was having trouble inhaling, let alone mocking him. I saw black swirls collecting at the far end of the tunnel. _Damn it… I can't even breathe, and he's telling me to go home? I didn't walk into a cloud of darkness for nothing!_

"Get back here, you freak!" I hissed. _Gravira!_

A little bubble of electrified gravity floated over his head, and he brushed it away relaxedly. He turned to face me. "If you're trying to start something, it won't work. Turn around and go home."

"You think I dropped to my knees for kicks?" I felt my weight shift to the left. _Oh, no. Don't fall. Don't fall. Don't—_ My body swayed to the left and with a thud, my entire left side crashed to the ground. My eyes wouldn't focus – my heartbeat was slow – my head throbbed. "DAMN IT!"

His black blurry figure approached me, stopping a good five feet away. "What's your problem?" he said.

"What does it _look_ like my problem is?"

"I was referring to the reason you followed me. Cura." His voice sounded faint, distant – clashing with my blurry view that he was quite a few steps nearer. I felt a sort of warmth spread through me from the spell, and still I couldn't move.

"That didn't do anything except give me warm fuzzies!" I snapped, then paused. "That was awkward. Sorry."

"If you're going to be sorry, apologize for wasting my time, not for meaningless words." He reached down and tugged me back up by my shoulders, my head flopping to one side as tried to find my balance. He turned me and slid my arm beneath my knees, getting ready to scoop me up.

"HEY! You can't even see! Don't carry me around!"

"I don't have enough time to figure out what's happening to you, _or_ take you home. You're coming with me."

"Listen, psycho, I—!"

"Psycho? You're the one who followed me, remember?"

"Well if you don't like it, leave me alone!"

"I'm not leaving you helpless in this corridor – there are more 'psychos' running around."

"Can't be much weirder than you," I grumbled.

He snorted. "I guess not."

I would've shot him a confused look – I almost did – but my eyes were too uncooperative. A pause hung between the two of us until everything suddenly got a lot lighter, and my head began to clear a bit. I heard waves, seagulls – I smelled salt, and sunlight – I felt warm.

"Where—?"

"Be quiet and stay here."

"Stay _where_?"

"Here." He lowered me onto grass, setting me against a rock wall. I could see clearly, now – we were by the sea, the sun beating down brighter than in Twilight Town. "If you follow me again, I'm tying you to a tree."

"Do I look like I'm going anywhere?" I shot him a look.

He exhaled. "Hm." I couldn't tell if his tone was pompous or thoughtful as he walked away, towards a bridge extending to what looked like a mini-island with a couple trees on it. I heard a soft _whoosh_ at my left, and looked over to see the remnants of another dark sphere vanishing into smoke.

"What's going on?" I whispered, trying to put what few pieces I had together. _He's got this incredibly dark presence – nothing I couldn't handle – but being in that tunnel was too much. Was it made completely of darkness, or only in part? It's so potent… I can still feel its effect on me._ I looked at my hand, over which I was slowly regaining control. I curled and uncurled my fingers several times, stretching my legs out and rolling my neck. _Note to self: don't chase strangers…_ I glanced around. _He said to stay here… Does he care if I stand, I wonder?_ I lurched forward and pushed myself to my feet, a little too quickly – my head swam a bit, though nowhere near as badly as in the tunnel.

I looked over at the mini-island to see him with another, shorter person in a black coat – a girl, if my eyes perceived the figure correctly. _Girlfriend?_ I wondered. She crossed her arms and walked past him a little. _It doesn't look like he's acting particularly affectionate… Then again, I'm not exactly near enough to really tell… What do I care, anyway? I need to figure out what I'm going to do… Even though it all depends on that guy. If I can get him to take me through that tunnel back to Twilight Town, I can get on with my normal life. Take out heartless until… Until what? Are they going to be as average as mosquitoes by the time I'm too old to fight?_

I closed my eyes, leaning against the rock wall and crossing my arms. I envisioned sitting in Traverse Town, my substitute home, as a wrinkled elder, watching as the next generation fought heartless.

_No… That's not right. This darkness can't exist forever._

"So you've recovered?"

I opened my eyes to see the guy standing in front of me. I shot a glance at the deserted mini-island before replying. "Mhm," I nodded. There was a pause. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You can, but I might not answer."

I smiled a little. "What exactly was that… tunnel?"

He paused before replying. "It's a long story. One you don't want to hear."

I snorted. "You don't know me."

"No, I don't, and if you're ready to go home, we can keep it simple that way."

_Dang._ "I've seen smoother ways of hinting at an exit," I said, a little amused. _I've never met someone this abrupt._

"I've seen smoother ways of following someone," he said. He held his right hand out to his side, palm-outward. Darkness sprang from the ground, forming one of those tall, shadowy spheres not a foot away from his hand. That familiar feeling of being weighted down drifted over me, and I glared at the portal before me. "One more question before we leave," he said.

"Hm?" I shifted my focus back on him.

"Why couldn't you move in the dark corridor?"

_Dark corridor – he means the tunnel._ "It's a long story," I said. "And judging by your rough manner, I'm betting you don't want to hear it."

He exhaled sharply. "It wasn't my intention to offend you. You're just better off home."

"It's not home," I mumbled. "But it doesn't matter, right? Let's just go." _I'm tired of talking about it already._ Or was I tired because of the darkness?

"Do I need to help you again?"

"Yeah, probably. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

I stepped into the portal again, much more slowly than my first entry. I felt it sweep through me, the heavy feeling coming on so much more gradually that I didn't feel dizzy, only a bit light-headed. However, no matter how gradual the impact was, it was just as potent. When the initial blackness subsided to the sight of stirring colors, I was trembling awfully. I lost all feeling in my legs and was sure I was going to crash to the ground again – however, that guy caught my right arm and tugged it over his neck, holding it in place with his right hand and gripping my left arm with his left hand.

"I'm sorry I've put you through so much trouble."

"Stop apologizing. I already said not to worry about it."

"Okay." I felt pretty pathetic, having to be dragged all the way to the other end of the dark corridor by some guy I'd just met. "What's your name, anyway?"

"Does it matter?"

"What, are you afraid I'm going to _spread the word_ about you or something? It's not like I have anyone to tell – and even if I did, who would believe me?"

His head turned towards me a little, his voice softer than before. "Don't you have friends here?"

I rolled my eyes. "I told you. Twilight Town is not my home." My head flopped over to one side. _I hate having to lean on this guy! _"I'm so pathetic!" I growled.

"So you travel to different worlds?"

"I pay Cid to drop me off somewhere I can support myself, and—" I stopped and, had my neck been under my control, I'd have narrowed my eyes at him. "You're really good at evading questions, you know that?"

He snorted. "Yeah. I know." His tone seemed lighter than before – maybe even a little amused. "Before you ask again, it's Riku."

I smiled. "I'm Miyuki. Nice to meet you."

"It certainly is a memorable encounter," he snorted.

_I wish I could hold myself up!_ "Thank you," I said quietly.

"For what?"

"For not killing me when I stalked you, and treating me with respect even when I acted stupid, and lugging me around…"

"You're welcome."

We reached the end of the dark corridor, black shadows engulfing us as we stepped into the portal leading to Twilight Town. I felt my strength returning as the warmth of the sunset spilled over the sandstone rooftops. I positioned my feet properly beneath me, paying close attention to the weight pressing behind me – and once the portal disappeared, the only darkness keeping me from feeling completely normal was radiating from Riku.

"Can you stand?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm good," I said. He released my arms and we stepped slightly away from each other. "It was…" _Awkward, uncomfortable, embarrassing?_ "…nice to meet you," I said.

I may have been perceiving his expression incorrectly, but he looked a little amused. "I have to know. _Why_ did you follow me?"

I crossed my arms and looked down, my face going red. _I hope he can't see through that blindfold._ "Well… I sort of…" _This is going to sound so creepy._ "I'm pretty sure I met you in a dream."

He was silent, the amusement draining from his face.

I swallowed hard, rubbing the back of my neck. "I'll just be going now." Head tucked, face burning, eyes shut tight, I turned my back to him and headed for the inn.

_I'm so stupid. I'm an idiot. What's wrong with me? Why did I just tell him that?_

"I'm glad I met you, Miyuki," he said.

I paused. _Am I imagining things? Did he really…?_ I felt a surge of darkness weigh on me briefly, and turned to see him turn up his hood as he disappeared into the dark corridor.


	3. Chapter 3 Eavesdropping

I sat on the roof, watching the sergeant heartless below, waiting for the three of them to come relatively close to one another.

"_I'm glad I met you, Miyuki."_

I pushed my hair out of my face with one hand, swallowing hard. _What was he doing, I wonder? And what's with the coat? It's not like it's cold._ I shot a glance at the alley where I'd first laid eyes on him. _Normal people don't mess with darkness. Normal people can barely defend themselves from shadows._ I returned my gaze to the soldiers below. They were scrambling around, still looking for the heart they sensed – _my_ heart. _Stupid pests._

I took a deep breath and jumped down. _Fire._ I thrust my left hand towards one sergeant – he fell to the ground, but the flame didn't get past his armor. The second sergeant clambered over to me, raising his giant arm to tear me open with jagged claws. I shoved his arm back further with my left hand, his metal joints cracking under the pressure. I gripped his throat with my right hand. _Blizzard._ I took my hand away as ice grew over his face, covering his head and helmet. He faded to nothing but black smoke, drifting away in the breeze. I turned around to see the first sergeant charging towards me and the third sergeant thrusting his claws towards me. I stepped to the right, just in time to keep my stomach from being speared. _Am I getting slower? Fira._ I drove the heel of my hand into his back and he fell face down, the flame consuming him quickly.

The first sergeant was the last one, and was hesitating before me, pausing before his next attack. _I didn't want to waste so much energy using Fira on you from the very beginning – that was a mistake._ "Fire," I said, and this time, it penetrated his armor. He let out a small screech as he dissipated into black smoke – something a heartless did only every now and then, though I couldn't figure out why.

_I can't believe I was so slow._ I took a deep breath, remaining alert to any pressure I may feel. I felt a little surge weigh on my right shoulder, but very lightly, and for a brief moment. Little spurts of darkness appeared like this often enough, usually from the direction of the Old Mansion – but every time I headed that direction, heartless popped up and, since my job was extreminating them, I couldn't just ignore them. By the time I would finish the job, it would be too late and I'd be tired.

_I've been here a week, maybe two – and I still don't know what's going on with that creepy estate._ I shot a look at the hole in the wall that led to the woods in front of the Old Mansion. _Screw being tired. I'm finding out what's going on._ I quickly made my way to the wall, hoping not to see heartless – after all, if I didn't see them, how was I supposed to know they were there, right?

No such luck. Three more sergeants and five shadows appeared, and I took them out in the usual fashion – dodge, cast magic, repeat. I had resolved not to run through the woods, because I wasn't quite as sensitive to darkness when moving so quickly. My resolve wavered when I stepped into the woods and felt a surge of darkness spread through me, weighing me down just enough that my movements would be a tiny bit slower. _This might be another bad idea,_ I thought, moving a little quicker, weaving through the trees.

I finally came to the foyer of the mansion, the suppression of darkness weighing a bit heavier with each step. _I'd better stay alert – a shadow could hide easily behind such intense pressure._ The musty scent reminded me of the basement in my Grandma's house that scared me so much when I was little. I would stand at the top of the stairs, staring down into that black pit, half-expecting a demon to swallow me the moment I stepped into that darkness. Mom would come up behind me, rubbing my shoulders. _"I still don't know why Gran keeps her canned food down here. I'll get it, sweetie. You stay here."_

I swallowed hard. _My ancestry seems to be one long line of bad ideas._ The irony of investigating an old, dusty mansion that may or may not be infested with heartless, while thinking of that basement, was a bit sickening. I shrugged, clearing my head. _I've got to keep my head on straight. Now where's the darkness emanating from?_

A door sat on the far side of the staircase, and the darkness' pressure increased as I approached it. The pressure was so great, as I stepped into what turned out to be a library, my knees almost shook. I paused and stared at the figure before me.

"Riku?" I said, my voice quieter than I'd meant. _You've pulled up the hood, so I can't see your face… But no one else is sporting a coat like that, right? And with the intense darkness, it has to be you._

He snapped his head towards me when he heard me, then strode towards one of the bookcases. It split in two, scooting apart to reveal the steps of a cellar.

I took a couple steps towards him. "Hey! I need to know—" I realized that the door was closing, with him behind it. "N-No fair!" I ran towards it, thrusting myself between the bookshelves before they slammed together again. I stood at the top of the stairs, nothing to light my path before me. I shuddered, the memories I'd forced back weeding their way to the front of my mind for a split second.

"_I'll get it, sweetie. You stay here." Those were the last words she spoke – I would feel honored to have been the recipient, if I didn't feel so horrible for sending her down there alone in the first place._

_It doesn't matter right now. Right now I've got to suck it up and find out what's going on. I've been confused for too long._

I stomped down the steps, cracking my knuckles and wrists, keeping as alert as possible to any differences in pressure. I came to the bottom of the stairs, and heard slightly raised voices not far away. I stopped at the very last step, staying concealed behind the wall as best as I could.

"Do you work sloppily under pressure, or is this some sort of bad joke?" _That sounds like Riku, I think._

"It's not my job to watch every single citizen of this town. I won't allow this to turn into a contest of diligence regarding our duties." This voice was deeper, throatier, older.

"I'm not looking for a contest, either. I'd just like to know why, if you've got this town under your thumb, you're not paying better attention to the risks running around."

"You're referring to the girl?" There was a pause before the older voice continued. "She poses no threat."

"She doesn't need to get involved." _In what?_ I thought.

"Oh? And what are you going to do to get rid of her? Knock her unconscious, drag her to another world and leave her there?"

"That's what I'd do, if she wasn't in poor health every waking moment."

I was just wondering when I should reveal myself when I heard the older voice say, "All right, girl. Come out here."

I stepped out from behind the wall, to a small room with a huge computer on the far side. In front of the computer sat a man in long robes, with a dark red cape and scarf wrapped around his head so that only his mouth and one eye were showing. Next to him stood Riku, whose hood hung over his head still. The pressure of darkness was ever-present, though it was a bit easier to ignore now that I was closer to answers.

_What do I even say to these two? Where do I start?_ "Everyone says this mansion is deserted."

The man in red stared at me blankly. "Does it look deserted, Miss?"

"Oh – my name's Miyuki."

He nodded slowly. "Call me DiZ. You've already met Riku."

I gave Riku a small smile. "It's good to see you again." _Even if I can't really see you…_

"I'm assuming you heard most of our conversation," DiZ said.

"Eavesdropping was always one of my weak points," I said.

"Following strangers must be another," Riku said.

I crossed my arms, the smile dissipating. _What's up his craw?_ "I don't mean to bother you, it's just that I want answers." I shrugged.

"How do you know we have them?" he challenged.

"You operate in raw darkness. I know very little about it, but I'm incredibly effected by it, as you've seen."

"Effected?" DiZ said.

I shifted my eyes back to him. "I feel a sort of pressure. The closer I am to dark beings, the heavier my body feels."

"Are you effected in such a way right now?"

"Yeah."

"I'm shocked you were able to move in the dark corridor at all."

"She _wasn't_," Riku said.

DiZ paused, staring at him a moment before turning back to me. "How did you acquire this sensitivity?"

"That's one of the answers I was hoping you could help me figure out."

DiZ smiled a little. "Riku. Do me a favor and find her a chair."

Riku stared at him a moment before walking past me and up the stairs. DiZ waited for the footsteps to disappear above us before speaking again.

"You're unstable near dark beings, correct?"

"Yes," I nodded, suddenly feeling the need to speak formally.

"Why aren't you unstable near Riku?"

My eyebrows knit. "What? Are you saying… he's a heartless…?"

"No, no. He has a heart, undoubtedly. But it's been shrouded in darkness so long… I fear…" He stopped himself and looked past me, towards the stairs – footsteps were descending towards us once more. Riku plopped the chair down behind me – an old, wooden thing that I wasn't entirely sure would hold me – and he leaned against the wall on my left, crossing his arms.

"Thanks," I said, sitting down carefully.

"No problem."

I shot him another small smile before looking back at DiZ. "The only other person who ever had my… power, was my dad. But he's passed on."

"Your father?" DiZ said. "Could this be a matter of genetics?"

"If that were true, wouldn't one of my father's parents have this power? Neither of them had it."

There was a pause, then Riku broke the silence. "How did you father…?"

"Heartless. He was attacked by heartless, and the world was being overtaken by darkness, as well. The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the middle of Traverse Town. I asked around about my world, but no one knew anything."

"How did you end up _here_?" Riku asked.

"Oh, Cid dropped me off in his gummi ship. Things are slow in Traverse Town, and Radiant Gardens is being taken care of already…" _Actually, they hinted at wanting help… But seeing them back in their home hurt… A lot._ "I made a deal with the mayor. Free food, free lodging, and all I have to do is keep the heartless population around here down."

"Sounds like you've got things figured out well enough," Riku said. "Why bother with darkness when it's not hindering you?"

"Well, for one thing," I shifted towards him, "one day, I'm going to run into a heartless with so much darkness I can't function. If I can teach myself to deal with this sensitivity, maybe I won't be as powerless against it, in case something happens. For another, I'd rather run the risk of knowing the extent of who and what I am, than be ignorant for the rest of my life."

"You don't know what you're saying. If it's not harming you or loved ones, it's best to stay as far away from darkness as possible."

"And _you_ don't know what it's like to see weakness in yourself and have no way of strengthening it," I replied. "Thank you for the advice, but I don't know what it's like to be you, and you don't know what it's like to be me. We can't judge each other's burdens. I came here looking for answers and gotten none – unless you'd like to help me find them, I'll get out of your hair."

"As far as teaching you how to grow numb to this sensitivity," DiZ said, "I don't know that we have the ability or time to train you. We're… busy, to say the least."

Riku snorted.

"Am I allowed to know what that means?" I asked.

"It's a long story – one I doubt you want to know every detail of," DiZ said.

"Let's just say a friend is recovering and needs us to take care of things for him," Riku said.

"Um…" I twisted my lips to one side. "Is there any way I can help?"

DiZ said "Yes," at the same time Riku said "No." My eyes shifted from one person to the other.

"I know high levels of magic, I'm agile, I'm a good thief," I shrugged, then considered what I'd just said. _Maybe mentioning my thieving record was a bad idea…_

Not every mayor was as welcoming and agreeable as the mayor of Twilight Town, so sneaking an apple, candy bar, and potion here and there had become as easy as breathing for me. However, here, the offer of a free room and food kept away the necessity of theft.

"I wouldn't mind a helping hand around here while Riku tends to matters elsewhere," DiZ said. "The library is filled with books and research on darkness – notes of mine, even." Riku's head snapped towards DiZ, his body language showing tension. DiZ kept focused on me, smiling a little. "When I'm not engulfed in my work here, we can discuss ideas about your condition."

I smiled a little. "What kind of help would you need?"

"Nothing too drastic. Bringing me food, water, certain books – cleaning this room a bit… However, the issues our friend has will progress. Though I'd try my best to keep you unharmed, safety is one thing I cannot guarantee you by any means."

I shrugged. "I'm used to danger."

Riku snorted. "We aren't talking heartless."

I smiled a little wider at him. "I love a challenge," I retorted.

DiZ chuckled softly. "We're going to get on well, Miyuki."


	4. Chapter 4 Ansem

"So how can I start helping?" I said, standing up.

"After you put that chair back upstairs, you can sweep the floor down here," DiZ said, his tone commanding, but still kind.

"You got it." I grabbed the chair and headed up the staircase, and as I slipped into the shadows, I slowed my pace to hear the quiet words being exchanged.

"Are you losing it? The _last_ thing we need is another innocent person getting caught up in all this!" Riku said. _Nice to know I'm welcome,_ I thought.

"I'd be a fool to let such a person with such a unique condition escape my observation."

"Is studying her really worth risking not only her future, but our operation?"

I came to the top of the staircase, trying to see a knob or panel of some sort on the black wall in front of me. I couldn't see anything. _How exactly do I get out of here?_

DiZ's response was so low and quick, I wasn't entirely sure I heard him correctly. "If she was concerned about her future, she would not have risked it so many times on her own. As for our operation, I can see no way she would ruin it. It is and always will be my top priority, and she will not change that. And when I don't need her around here, I'm certain she'd be more than happy to assist you in any ordeals you may run into in other worlds."

"Since when do I need an _assitant_?" Riku scoffed.

_I've been up here unusually long…_

"Since you've started getting edgy about every damned detail," DiZ replied.

_I need to speak up before it gets too suspicious…_ "Ah, how do I get out of here?"

"There's a panel on the right," Riku said.

I groped the wall on my right, and felt rather awkward. "Um… There's nothing here."

"Hold on, I'm coming," Riku said.

I would've stepped aside to let him find the panel, but considering I had a chair in my hand and I couldn't see anything, I figured it was a better idea to just hold still and let him maneuver around me. His footsteps approached me from behind, and although I expected him to speak, I jumped when he did.

"So how much of that did you hear?"

_Please tell me I can bullshit my way out of this…_ "'That' what?" I feigned ignorance.

He snorted. "I'll assume that means you heard everything."

_So much for bullshitting…_ "Well… Yeah." I heard the soft click of buttons to my left, and light leaked in between the cracks of the bookcases ahead of us. "Thanks." I looked over my shoulder as I stepped through and barely saw the face beneath his hood – bright yellow eyes were shining there. _So his eyes are yellow?_ Something about them unsettled me, and I looked away quickly.

"No problem," he said, his tone placid, stoic. He stood between the bookcases as I returned the chair to a desk at the far side of the room. "What're you thinking?"

I shot a glance at the bookshelf lining the wall nearest to me, trying not to look so nervous. I hooked my thumbs in the pockets of my pants and finally landed my eyes on the black figure. "I'm excited," I smiled a little.

"Why?"

"Weren't you listening to me back there? I'm finally going to learn a little about myself." I shrugged.

"What if you don't like what you find?"

My eyebrows knit. "Wow… Thanks for your faith in my character…"

"It's the elements you're sensitive to that I don't trust."

I smirked. "Does that mean you trust _me_?"

He snorted and crossed his arms. I wished I could see his face, maybe read his expression. "I never said _that_," he said with a tone that was lighter, more at ease, than I expected.

I grinned. "Gotcha." There was a brief pause. "I'm still excited," I said.

Another snort. "Why am I not surprised?"

"I believe it's called 'getting to know' someone."

"Hm…" he said quietly. He uncrossed his arms and walked down the stairs.

_Oh, I need to sweep._ I jogged towards the doorway, slipping through just as the doors closed. _I also need to learn how to get through those bookcases without worrying about getting squished between them…_

I jogged down the stairs too quickly and misjudged the last step, slamming into Riku's back. I stood back, clamped my eyes shut and gingerly brushed my fingers against my aching nose.

He turned around. "Miyuki? What the—?"

"Sorry about that," I said.

"Is your nose alright?"

"Ah… Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. Are you okay?"

"I'm not the one who slammed my face into someone's back."

"I'm guessing that means you're feeling okay…"

"Good guess," he nodded and turned towards DiZ, who was hunched over the computer. "Do you need me here?" he asked.

"Not at the moment," DiZ replied.

"Good." He held his left hand out to his side and opened the dark corridor.

"See you later!" I said, smiling a little.

He paused a moment. "Later," he said quietly, disappearing into the black portal.

I felt my face getting hot as I watched the corridor dissipate into black smoke, fading away to reveal the far corner of the room, and the broom sitting there. _Time to get to work._

After sweeping, dusting, and getting DiZ a glass of water from the kitchen on the far side of the mansion, I had time to browse the library. There were books of all shapes, sizes and colours, and all the titles were incredibly interesting. _Dark Beings of Radiant Gardens_; _Light and Darkness: Two Forces, One Purpose_; _Real or Nobody_. These are only a few of the books I piled on the desk. I found pens and paper in the drawer of the desk, and after asking DiZ whether or not I could use them, he offered to give me munny for more notebooks and pens if I ran out.

I studied for hours, intrigued and a little frightened by the discoveries and theories in those books. Someone named Ansem had been studying it long enough, his last notes spoke of learning to control it.

_This guy sounds so power-crazy… Didn't anyone ever give him a reality check? Why didn't he like where he was? Why didn't he just leave it alone when he knew things were getting dangerous?_

"_You face that fear, _every time_ it's presented to you," Dad said._

_That applies to the fear of being wrong, and the fear of letting something go…_

My right shoulder felt heavier, I heard a gentle _whoosh_, and looked over to see that familiar cloaked figure step away from the dark corridor as it dissipated. I smiled. "Dramatic entrance, as always."

His hood was down, so I could see his oh-so-slight smile beneath the blindfold. "Whatever you want to call it."

"So how'd your errands go? Were they difficult?"

The smile faded. "Nothing I couldn't handle," he shrugged. "Making any progress?"

I looked back at my pile of books, and my one note scribbled on the page. _"Darkness consumed the world's heart – but it can be restored by the 'key bearer'. (?)"_ "I read the notes by that guy named Ansem, who basically stalked every shred of darkness he could find, and it eventually consumed him." I shrugged.

"Oh. I've heard of him," Riku said quietly, his tone a little snarky.

"What's _that_ mean?" I arched an eyebrow at him.

"Ah, that's part of the long story."

"It's not like I have anywhere to go," I said. "I'd like to hear that 'long story' sometime…"

He snorted. "What, you don't have enough drama in your own life?"

I looked back down at the desk again. "Point taken," I mumbled, and stood up, heading for the bookcases. _Better zip up my hoodie,_ I thought, _It's getting cold in here…_

I was halfway to the bookcases when he spoke up. "I didn't mean I want you to leave," he said, turning towards me but staying by the desk.

"Dude," I shrugged and hooked my thumbs in my pockets again. "You don't have to try and fix up those words with manners. I know something about me being here agitates you."

"It doesn't agitate me," he said. "We just have so many problems with our friend, it gets miserable around here pretty easily."

I cocked my head to one side. "Have you listened to a single thing I've said today? Misery pretty much sums up every aspect of my life."

"Simplicity is another word that can sum it up."

"I don't see what's so simple about being weak around darkness – and darkness has always been near me. Shouldn't I be stronger against it than most people? Like I said, I have some questions I want answers to."

"Like what? You're free to study whatever books we have, but what exactly are you looking for?"

"The reason I'm so weak against darkness."

"But that's not all."

I crossed my arms. "How do you know?"

"You said your father had the same symptoms you do. That means it probably has more to do with him than darkness itself."

I stared at him a long moment before answering. "So you think I'm just some scared little girl looking for Daddy wherever she can find him?"

"I think you're afraid of yourself."

"Well, Riku, I _know_ who I am, and though I may frustrate myself, I'm not afraid of myself. I also know who my father was. What I _don't_ know is why I have this issue with darkness, or why my father had it. I also don't know why we're having this conversation, when I want to ask DiZ about this 'key bearer' person Ansem wrote about."

Riku snorted and shook his head, grumbling something I couldn't hear.

"Does my trying to find out if I can ever go back to my world inconvenience you?" I arched an eyebrow at him. _I'm going to figure things out, whether you like it or not._

He snorted. "Don't flatter yourself. You don't hold that much sway over me."

I laughed a little. "Whatever. I'm going to talk to DiZ, if you don't mind." I turned to the bookcase and paused. _Which book is it that you pull back… the blue one?_ I reached out and tugged it down. Nothing happened. "Damn it, DiZ. You just _had_ to be mysterious," I growled in a whisper.

"Do you want help?" Riku smirked, walking over and pulling down the green book before I could respond.

I shot him a look as the doors slid open. "Your sense of hearing makes up for your lack of sight, huh?" I said, my tone a little lighter than I'd actually meant.

"Something like that."


	5. Chapter 5 Hopefully Helpful

I headed down the stairs and heard Riku follow behind me.

"Hey, DiZ, do you—?" I stopped myself at the sight of him leaning forward on the keyboard, his arms folded beneath his head. I took a few steps towards him and heard broken snores.

"Should I…?" I pointed at the slumbering scientist, shooting a look at Riku, who nodded. "DiZ? Wake up," I said softly, leaning closer to him and shaking his shoulder a little. He snored louder. "Hey. Come on. Rise and shine." I shook his shoulder harder – nothing. I stood upright. "You try," I told Riku.

He shrugged, slowly walked over, stood behind the sleeping man, leaned towards his ear and paused. _…Are you going to do anything, or just hover there like a stalker?_

"DiZ! Naminé's gone!" he barked suddenly. He stood back as DiZ immediately sat upright, and after jumping out of my skin, I punched Riku in the shoulder.

"Thanks for the heart attack!" I cried.

He laughed. "Anytime."

"What do you mean 'gone'?" DiZ roared, his voice thick with sleep.

"I was kidding. You fell asleep on the computer." Riku pointed to the screen, which was filled with dozens of error messages.

"Again?" DiZ sighed, typing furiously.

"Sounds like you need a break," I said.

"No," the two said in unison.

_That was a bit intimidating… Why not?_ "But if you're losing sleep—"

"I get at least four hours every night," DiZ growled.. "I'm _fine_."

_And you sound it._ "Four hours isn't enough," I said.

"Ah, you don't know anything," he grumbled, half to himself, never taking his eyes from the computer screen.

"Whose fault is _that_?" I leaned against the wall next to me, crossing my arms.

"It's a very—" DiZ began, but I interrupted.

"Long story. So I keep hearing."

He stopped typing and turned to me. "One day, you will hear this long story. I promise."

"Meanwhile, I just run around oblivious?"

He smiled a little. "No – we discuss what you've read so far."

_Why does this feel like a classroom all of a sudden?_ "Well, I read all of Ansem's notes. Those were… interesting, in a word. I mean, it was unsettling to see how easily someone can be corrupted by darkness. I wonder what happeend to him when he was younger, that he was so eager to gain that kind of power… But that's not what I want to talk about." _Is it just me, or do you look a little relieved…?_ "He said his world was overrun by the darkness he'd summoned, and that only the keybearer could restore it to its original form."

DiZ nodded slowly, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Riku bury his face in his palm.

_What's your problem?_ "So, does that mean _my_ world can be restored too?" I tried to keep the hope out of my voice, to sound less naïve as to think something like that could happen.

"It can," DiZ said.

My hand lifted to my mouth. _I won't get excited. I won't. There's a catch, I'm sure._ "So, there's a chance I could go home?" I said through my fingers.

"There _is_ a chance," he nodded again.

"What kind of chance? Like, ten percent? Twelve?"

He deliberated a moment, shooting a glance at Riku before answering. "More along the lines of seventy—"

"Ninety percent," Riku interrupted, turning his head towards me as if he could see me.

"Seriously?" My eyes snapped from DiZ to Riku, over and over. "W-Will everyone I knew be there?"

"That… depends," DiZ said, choosing his words carefully.

"On what?"

He heistated. "Well… mostly on… whether or not they could withstand the darkness." His eyebrows knit with what I interpreted as concern.

"But my world can be restored? I can go home?"

"In all probability."

_Here comes the catch…_ "How?"

DiZ looked at Riku, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "What else did you find?"

I arched an eyebrow at him. "Don't try to change the subject. If I knew how my world was coming back, I could help."

"There's nothing you could do. We've got it under control," Riku said.

I looked at him incredulously. "And yet DiZ can barely keep his eyes open. I wouldn't exactly call that running smoothly."

"If all you're going to do is argue, we _definitely_ don't need—"

"I'm not arguing, I'm stating a differing opinion and hoping you'll listen to it."

He turned to me. "You know how much difficulty you have fighting off _sergeants_? The things we're dealing with are at least twenty times harder to beat."

"If you're so much better at fighting than I am, _train me_. Or, DiZ, let me work on the computer, and you sleep for more than three hours."

He laughed a little. "I said four. If all I ever got was three hours, believe me, I'd be much less agreeable." This made the conversation considerably lighter.

I smiled. "So you really can't stand to lose one more hour of sleep."

He raised his eyebrows. "That's not quite what I—"

"Do you _know_ what it's like to feel totally disconnected from every memory of your family? Because it's hell. Sometimes I wonder if they were just a dream. If I was really just a kid whose parents ditched her in Traverse Town, and I'd just forgotten what happened to me. Now I finally have some remnants of my family, and I'm not letting go of it."

"Just because you're going home soon, doesn't mean you have to throw away the peace you have now," Riku said.

"You said there was a ninety-percent chance I can go home. Are you saying that if you were me, you wouldn't do everything in your power to make sure that ten percent doesn't happen?"

He was silent.

"You make a convincing argument," DiZ said, a small smile still resting on his face. "Before I explain, I'd like to know what volumes you've read in the library above?"

"Actually, I only read Ansem's reports."

"Have you any idea what a Nobody is?"

I arched an eyebrow. "I'm guessing 'someone who's very unpopular' is not the correct answer."

"When someone with true strength in their heart loses that heart and becomes a Heartless, every so often a second version of them comes into being. These are 'nobodies', and they have no hearts to feel with – only memories of their human past and what it was like to feel."

_That's interesting. I wonder if I'd have a nobody…_ DiZ seemed to be hesitating, so I gestured for him to continue. "Yes?"

"I'm… not sure how to begin."

There was a brief pause, then Riku spoke up. "It's getting late. You should go back to the inn, Miyuki."

I stared at him warily. "Do you just want time to collect your thoughts, or are you trying to ditch me?"

"We had a deal, did we not?" DiZ said. "Tomorrow morning, at 8 o'clock sharp. The library is in want of dusting. If you're not here, I'll be sorely disappointed."

I smiled at the certainty of continuing this conversation. "I'll be here."

"Until then," he nodded and turned back to the computer.

"Would you mind if I walked you back to the inn?" Riku asked.

I stared at him a moment. _Is he serious?_ "No, I don't mind," I said. _He must've been telling the truth – I guess I really don't agitate him._

We were silent as we took to the stairs, but when we were in the library and the bookcases shut behind us, he spoke again. "DiZ didn't know where to start because he felt guilty," he said quietly.

I stared confusedly at him as we walked through the library doors. "Guilty?"

"The 'Ansem' you read about was actually a man named Xehanort. Ansem was the leader of his world, and he studied darkness, with several apprentices alongside him. When things in their studies were getting worrisome, Ansem told his pupils to stop research, but they wouldn't. Xehanort was the most headstrong, so much that when he was overcome with darkness, his heartless found a host, so as to work undetected."

"Wait. Are you saying his heartless _possessed_ someone?"

"Yeah."

"Are they okay?"

"Let me finish."

"Right. Sorry." I bit my lower lip.

"I lived on this island with a guy named Sora, and our friend Kairi. While Sora and I had lived on this island all our lives, Kairi had come from a different world. This sparked our interest, and made us wonder at how many other worlds were out there. The idea of getting off the islands entertained Sora and Kairi – it _ate_ at me. We worked on building a raft to go find these worlds, but the day before we were going to set sail, the door to darkness opened. I walked through without hesitation. Xehanort's heartless found his host."

I felt a chill run down my spine, but remained silent. I wanted to hear the rest of this story.

"I took care of Kairi – in the sense that I didn't let anything happen to her, physically. But when the darkness swallowed our island, her heart disappeared inside Sora's, so he took care of her real being. He and I learned to use keyblades – his was of light, mine darkness. I could unlock hearts, he could lock them. I could summon heartless, he could destroy them." He rubbed the back of his neck, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Kairi was unconscious – to awake her, Sora took my keyblade, unlocked his heart, and fell into darkness while she returned to her body. Xehanort's heartless had completely taken over my body at this point – my body turned into his, literally – and I barely had it in me to keep him from destroying her on the spot." He stopped speaking now, turning his head towards me as if he was trying to judge my reaction.

_Are you waiting for me to say something?_ "So… You stopped Xehanort?"

"No. After I'd stalled long enough for Kairi to escape him, my heart returned to darkness while he used my body to fight Sora – once Kairi gave Sora his heart back, that is. I'm still not sure how exactly she did that…" He paused briefly before getting back on track. "The door to darkness was about to overflow with all the heartless – he and I shut it."

"But you were still in darkness," I said. "He didn't help you get through?"

He snorted. "Well, Sora couldn't close it without my help – and there wasn't time to get to the other side. Besides, I had – _have_ – unfinished business with darkness."

"Care to explain…?"

"In a moment. We closed the door to darkness, and nearly everyone, along with Kairi, was safe."

"Except for you and Sora," I said.

"And a few friends. I met King Mickey when we shut the door to darkness – and His Majesty's two friends, Donald and Goofy, met Sora the day our island was destroyed. Sora, Donald and Goofy were looking for the King and me, when they came to Castle Oblivion – which is run by Organization XIII, a group of Nobodies whose goal is to complete Kingdom Hearts and become whole again. Or at least, that's what the lower members think. The leader of the Organization is Xemnas, who's—"

"Xehanort's Nobody," I said at the same time he did, nodding.

"Right. His true goal is to complete Kingdom Hearts, and manipulate its power to his own devices.

"Will that even work?"

"We're hoping we won't have to find out. When Sora and Kairi lost their heart to darkness, their Nobodies were created – Roxas and Naminé. Now there are two physical manifestations of their hearts. Naminé, being the other half Kairi, has sway over Sora's memories. She draws it, he remembers it. The Organization got ahold of her and used her to dismantle all of Sora's memories." He stopped in his tracks. We stood on the bridge by the entrance to the Sandlot – the one about fifty feet from the hole in the wall leading to the Old Mansion. I hadn't noticed that he'd stopped walking, and paused now, staring at him blankly.

"What?" I said quietly.

"Are you feeling alright?"

My eyebrows knit. "I'm feeling fine. Why?"

He shook his head a little. "Doesn't make sense," he mumbled, and before I could ask, he was walking and talking again. "Naminé got out of there – as did Sora, Donald and Goofy – and now the three of them are asleep."

"Asleep?" I arched an eyebrow at him. "Why?"

"So she can put all the pieces of his memory back together. Meanwhile, his Nobody is working for the Organization, defeating emblem heartless with his keyblade and sending the hearts to Kingdom Hearts." He took a deep breath and let his words just hang there.

I chewed on it a minute. _This is a lot of information._ "So… What were you doing while Naminé dismantled Sora's memory?"

He turned his head towards me, smiling a little. "All that, and your only question is what I was doing?"

I felt my face go red, and was thankful he was wearing a blindfold. "Well! I want to know the whole story!" I said defensively.

His tone was quieter as he explained. "While the Organization made Sora jump through hoops, I had a few to jump through myself. I'd gotten my body back when Sora defeated Xehanort's heartless, but my heart was still immersed in darkness. While I ran through Castle Oblivion's lower levels, looking for Sora, King Mickey helped me defeat the pieces of Xehanort that dominated my heart. Most of it, anyway – there are still… stains, I guess you'd call them."

_A heart stained in darkness…? So why don't I…?_ I started to say something, but he spoke before I could.

"It makes me wonder. You say you're susceptible to darkness… Why aren't you susceptible to _me_?"

I shot him a look, but he was facing forward as we walked. "I don't even know why I have this problem in the first place," I said. "What makes you think I'll know why it doesn't work with you?"

There was a pause before he pulled the subject back to Sora's story.

"Naminé's having problems putting Sora's memories back together. From the data the Organization gathered, they've made a Nobody called Xion, and stored Sora's memory inside her."

"_Her_?"

He snorted. "It would seem that's the standard reaction. It would be so easy to just execute her, but that would tip off the Organization. She needs to rebel, herself."

"The day that I followed you, was she…?"

"That's who I was talking with, yes."

"So what's with the matching coats?"

"It's the Organization's uniform. It's a little too dramatic for my taste, but it makes it more difficult to tell who's who, if I ever have an unpleasant encounter."

I stopped at the door of the inn, crossing my arms and turning to Riku. "This is it."

"Have a good night's sleep," he said, smiling faintly.

I felt my face light up a little. _He should smile more often._ "One more question before you leave," I said.

"Alright."

"Why are you wearing a blindfold?"

He shifted uncomfortably, the faint smile disappearing. "Remember the stains Xehanort left?"

"Yeah…?"

"I still resemble his heartless. The blindfold is something DiZ gave me – it'll mask the darkness, but only enough that my physical appearance returns to normal."

"Huh. I didn't know he was an inventor."

"Oh, you'll be amazed at what he can do," Riku smiled a little once more – a little wider than before. "I'll let him impress you tomorrow morning. Goodnight."

"See you later!" I said cheerily. He headed back towards the mansion, and I watched as he opened a dark corridor in a shaded area of the plaza, disappearing into it. I felt no weight shift at all.

_Sora… Kairi… Nobodies… I want to help sort all this out._ I wasn't sure if I wanted to help more because of Riku, or to get my home back. Either way, the propreitors of the Old Mansion had another person eager to help the cause.


	6. Chapter 6 Sweet Shadow

_I stand at the top of the stairs, staring down at the darkness of my Grandma's basement. I'm seven again._

"_I still don't know why Gran keeps her canned food down here." She gently tugs me from the stairway, rubbing my shoulder before descending. "I'll get it, sweetie. You stay here." She walks down the steps, the last thing to disappear in the shadows being her long, dusty brown hair cascading down her back. I've always taken after her appearance._

_A moment passes – she doesn't come back up the stairs._

"_Mom?"_

_I take a step towards the stairs._

_Her voice is cracked and broken. "Kiki! Go to Daddy…" Her voice fades, as if her mouth is being muffled. I stare at the darkness, trying to find her. Where is she? Is she alright? I see a pair of round yellow eyes flash at me in the middle of the shadows._

_I have to do what she says. I have to listen, or I'll get in trouble._

_I run out of Grandma's house and down the street – it's the late afternoon, and Dad will be at the ice cream parlor after work. I walk in to see him sitting at a booth, facing the door with a faded smile. _

"_Dad—"_

"_Hey, kid!" he says cheerily. "Sit down with me and have some ice cream!"_

_I sit at the table and he hands me an ice cream cone. "Mom said to come find you and—"_

"_Yeah, I know. I'm gonna tell you something, okay?"_

"_But in Grandma's basement…"_

"_She's alright. Listen, kid. In this life…"_

My eyes flew open, tears slipping down my face. "Anything but that dream again," I hissed. "Anything." It was still dark in my room – I threw a look at the alarm clock next to me, and it read 4:12. I flopped over and buried my face in my pillow.

_There's nothing but darkness – darkness and Riku, who's standing not three feet from me, arms crossed._

"_You're the _last_ person I want to see me like this," he says agitatedly._

"_Why? What'd I do?"_

"_Nothing. That's just it. You have your own life – why get tangled up in all my problems?"_

"_Being tangled in your problems is easier than doing nothing about mine."_

"_Why bother? You know you're getting your home back. Why bother with me? Are you stupid?"_

_I laugh. "More than you know."_

I woke up to obnoxious beeping and, when hitting the off button didn't work, chucked the alarm clock across the room. I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror for a long moment, trying to figure out how to make myself look a bit more collected. _I know it was Riku in my dream. Why can't I remember his face?_ My face was still a bit red and tear-stained. _Was I crying _that _hard last night?_ I splashed my face with cold water and examined my hair. I'd dyed it purple weeks ago, and now it was fading to a sort of fuschia color. Not my favorite hue, but it didn't look totally crappy, so it was no big deal.

After finished breakfast and searching in vain for any heartless that might be lurking around – I still had a deal with the mayor, even if it was being overshadowed by my deal with DiZ – I made my way to the Old Mansion, my head buzzing with confusion.

_No heartless. At _all_. That's insane. There are at least twenty in each plaza, _every day_. Do DiZ and Riku know anything about this?_ As I wound my way through the woods, I had this strange feeling that something was off, disturbed. _What's happened? I hope they're alright… I'd better keep on my guard._

I stepped into the mansion and saw Riku heading down the staircase towards me.

"Hey, you're early," he said, his tone light.

I rubbed the back of my neck as I headed towards the library. "Well, I was going to get rid of heartless before I came down, but there were none. Which is really weird." I shot him a look.

"I might've had something to do with that," he said.

"You can manipulate heartless? Really? –Are you telling me the truth, or trying to impress me?"

His response was quick, but his tone friendly. "Were you really susceptible to darkness, or did you just want me to carry you through the dark corridor?"

"Touché."

"Thank you," he was smiling faintly, holding the library door open for me.

I realized I was grinning as we headed towards the bookcase – and trying to recompose it into nothing but a friendly smile was a bit difficult until we reached the comptuer room, and I recalled that DiZ probably hadn't gotten enough sleep.

"Did you get enough sleep last night, DiZ?" I demanded, crossing my arms.

"Hello, Miyuki. I presume Riku's explained our situation?"

"Yes, he did."

He looked over at me. "And you still wish to assist us?"

"Very much so."

"You'd risk your heart to assist us?"

"Whatever it takes to bring my world back," I said.

"Do you frequently work with computers?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Cid taught me how to work a standard communication network system," I said.

"Standard…" DiZ echoed blankly. _I'm guessing that means you're not impressed…_ "Perhaps the best tactic is to have Riku to train you."

"Train her?" he crossed his arms.

I shot Riku a look. _Are you getting all huffy again because DiZ is here, or what?_ "What's wrong with training 'her'?" I said.

"Why do you want me to train her?" Riku calmly asked DiZ, who turned to face him now.

"So that she can maximize her abilities," he said. "Surely, you don't _mind_?"

"I just wonder at what you're going to have her do, exactly…"

"Should you have another meeting with the puppet, and one of the real members of the Organization have followed her, isn't it better to have one more warrior on your side?"

"Warrior?" I pursed my lips, raising my eyebrows. "That's a bit dramatic…"

"You obviously haven't met the Organization yet," Riku snorted. "We've gotta kill the only two who're relatively sane." He focused on DiZ again, his tone placid. "So basically you want her to be my sidekick?"

DiZ seemed to notice that I'd suddenly gotten very tense. "You speak as though having a helping hand is a burden."

"This just seems like a big risk for no apparent reason," he said coolly.

DiZ turned to me. "If you'd like to help us, please assist Riku and back him up in whatever situation he faces."

"I will," I said confidently to DiZ, then fixed a glare on Riku.

"Very well," he nodded. "The courtyard in the back will be the best place to train."

"Catchya later, DiZ," I said cheerily as Riku and I headed up the stairs. I fell silent as I glared at him.

"You don't seem too pleased," he noted as we crossed the library.

"Look, Batman, you call me Robin again, and I'm 'sidekicking' you in the crotch."

He laughed softly, smiling wider than I'd ever seen. "Sorry."

"Mhm. You _look_ it. I may not be as up-to-the-task as you are, but—" I stopped walking and so did he. We stood in the middle of the foyer now. "Hey! How did _you_ know how I fought agaisnt the sergeants yesterday?"

He paused. "I was keeping Roxas occupied when a few of the heartless got rambunctious. I started to stop them, but then I saw you…"

_That's awkward. I don't know whether to be flattered or pissed._ "And you just decided to watch me scrap it out with your heartless?"

"Do you want to stand around and bask in the uncomfortable moment, or would you like to actually _train_?" He thumbed over his shoulder.

"I don't know, would you like to explain how you 'saw' me when you wear a blindfold 24/7?" I arched a sarcastic eyebrow at him.

"I don't have to explain anything to you." He raised an eyebrow, looking slightly amused and turning towards the door leading to the back courtyard. Even though I was still uncertain what I thought about him watching me fight the heartless _he_ summoned, I felt a bit amused, myself.

"Wipe that stupid smirk off your face!" I said, following him.

We came to the huge courtyard, which was overgrown with foot-high grass and cracked stone paths leading every which way. Dead trees were planted here and there, and there was a stone wall around the perimeter – though this was at least one hundred yards away. I wondered how this must've looked when it was tended to properly.

Riku turned to face me, backing away slowly. "_Make_ me," he replied, heartless raising in front of me. The further he backed up, the more heartless raised where he'd stepped – and I had a feeling he was going back up until he hit the stone wall.

_What have we got here… nothing but shadows? That's not so bad…_

One after one, I grappled with the heartless, running out of energy and getting rather thirsty. Just when I would think I had a moment to catch my breath, another would leap at me – I was starting to get a little scratched up.

I was now ten feet from Riku, with one last neoshadow dancing around me, sinking into the ground every time I turned to cast something on it. I stood still and glared at my 'teacher'.

"Once you're done with the small fry, I'll teach you _real_ hand-to-hand," he said smugly.

The shadow popped up behind me and loomed over me, raising its knobby black arms to swipe at me. I reached back, snatched it by its throat, and swung it at Riku.

He jumped away, snorting. "Inventive, but ineffective."

I let the shadow go and it waddled away, stumbling around like a drunkard. Riku was now about three feet from me, allowing a moment for me to catch my breath.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine," I nodded.

"Good. Hit me."

I took a step towards him and went to punch him in the stomach – he pushed my arm away and struck me in the side with two fingers. I raised my knee to hit him in the groin and he stepped to the side, hooking his arm under my knee. I lost my balance and fell back, catching myself with my hands. No doubt now – my palms were bleeding and I'd fallen hard enough that I felt light-headed.

"That was easier than I thought," Riku mused, tower over me on my left.

_Easy? Son of a…_ I wrapped my arm around his ankles with my left arm, reached over with my right hand and yanked my left arm in towards my torso. I was disappointed when nothing but my arm moved when I did this.

Riku was now standing on my right. I stared at him bewildered."They can reassemble themselves to any spot within thirty feet," he said. "The perks of being Nobody."

"But you have a heart," I said.

"A heart steeped in darkness," he corrected. "Darkness can take you anywhere."

I stood up and brushed myself off – unthinkingly wiping the blood from my palms all over my pants. "Oh, shit…" I looked down at myself.

"What?" he said. "The blood?"

"Yeah… It's no big deal, it's just really hard to clean."

"Ah… Then you'll have issues with your hoodie, too."

"What do you mean?" My eyebrows knit at him.

"The back of your head is bleeding, Miyuki."

"It is?" I felt for the scratch and winced when my fingers brushed against it. "Crap! I _knew_ that first shadow hit me, but I wasn't paying attention…"

"Speaking of shadows…" Riku looked over at the shadow running back towards us. I turned to it, ready to punt it across the yard, but it slowed to a waddle and stood still at my feet.

"It's just staring at me," I said.

Riku crossed his arms. "I don't get it," he mumbled.

"Neither do I," I replied, not taking my eyes from the little heartless'. _I should blow its head off right now. After all, he's the same kind of thing that sat in Gran's basement._ I stopped that train of thought before it got too far.

"It _likes_ you," he said.

I stared at Riku, bewildered once more. "Are you totally insane? These are _monsters_, Riku! Little stupid monsters that _eat people_!"

"I think you must remind it of someone. It _is_ the leftovers of a person…"

The shadow thrust its arms up towards me, like a little kid would when it wanted to be held. "This is a trick," I said, staring at it warily.

"You think it's that smart?" Riku snorted. "It's only a shadow. If it had that much intellect, it would be a bigger heartless. Believe me, if it still wanted your heart, it wouldn't be standing still at your feet."

"So why the sudden change in motive?" I asked, staring at it.

"He never _did_ hit you, did he? He just sort of ran around you."

I stared at it for a long moment. "You _seriously_ want me to pick you up?" I said to it incredulously. Either I was going crazy, or he nodded slightly. I reached one hand towards it, and it wrapped its tiny, spindly fingers around mine, pulling itself up and jumping at me. I stumbled backwards and it fell into my arms. It blinked at me and sighed.

"Th-This is ridiculous!" I stuttered at Riku. "I should be casting fire on this bugger!"

"You should also feel extremely heavy. That's as dark as a heartless can get – you won't find a pureblood more potent. So why aren't you stumbling back even further?"

I arched an eyebrow at looked at Riku, then the shadow, then Riku again. "You're an _awesome_ teacher."

He shook his head, smiling faintly, and walked back towards the mansion.

I sprinted to catch up with him. "Hey! What do I do with… _this_?" I nodded at the heartless in my hands.

"We'd better have DiZ take a look at him."

"So you just want me to tote it around?"

"You're here to assist me, remember? Don't worry, I'll hold the doors for you," he said smugly.

"Tonight, just as he falls asleep, gnaw on his ankle for me, okay?" I said to the heartless. It nodded. _Can it really understand me…?_ "Your eyes are purple, right?" I said to it. It nodded. _Of course…_


	7. Chapter 7 Worrying

When we reached the computer room, the heartless had its arms hooked around my neck so that I was holding it like a toddler, and Riku was halfway between amusement and concern.

"There's been an interesting development, DiZ," he said.

"What _now_?" DiZ turned around immediately and fixed his eyes on me blankly. "Miyuki… What exactly do you think you're doing?"

"It wasn't my idea," I said defensively, the heartless burying its face into my neck. It felt a bit like having a cold pillow squish against me. I tried to push him away, but it didn't know how to do that without hurting him.

"I summoned one hundred shadows, and she defeated them all except for this one. He was extremely cautious, and never struck her. Even when she grabbed him by the throat, he didn't come back to strike her."

"He leaped into my arms!" I said.

"And you're not affected at all?" DiZ said.

"You mean besides my bleeding hands and head? I feel fine," I said. I couldn't feel any pain on the back of my head, but my hands were stinging incredibly.

"Riku, fetch a potion from the kitchen, won't you?" DiZ said.

He paused, sensing that DiZ wanted to speak with me a moment more than he wanted a potion for me. "Right." He went up the stairs slowly, and it was only when we heard the bookcases shut that DiZ spoke again.

"Now that we're working towards a common goal, one that I wouldn't ban you from for any reason, I'd like you to come clean to me."

I struggled to keep the heartless in a comfortable position in my arms, my eyebrows knitting at him. "Excuse me?"

"I wouldn't respect you any less for the truth."

"What do you think I lied—You don't mean my problem with darkness?"

"That problem seems to have gone away quite conveniently."

I rolled my eyes. "What would be the point? Having you _protect_ me? If I wanted protection, I'd have stayed with Cid and them. If I wanted protection, I wouldn't have followed Riku into the dark corridor. Ask him! I couldn't walk!"

"Yet miraculously, the being of raw darkness in your hands isn't affecting you at all."

"What do you think I'm cheating you out of?"

He was speaking mostly to himself now, though he maintained eye contact with me. "…Doesn't seem that you're lying…"

"I don't have anything to lie _about_."

He ignored me, still mumbling to himself. "…Seems to have taken a shining to you… Much too defensive over the whole affair…"

"What?" I arched an eyebrow at him. _Am I hearing him correctly?_

"Would you do me a favor?"

"A favor?" I echoed blankly. _Are you losing it? Talking to yourself and accusing me of lying, and now you want me to do you a favor?_

"Are you opposed to letting me study your heart?"

My shoulders slumped and my eyebrows knit again. _I don't get you._ "Is it painful?"

"It's more of a psychological test than physical," he said.

I snorted. "So is it painful?"

"Only for the weak."

I shrugged. "Then sure. Study my heart." He turned back to the computer and the heartless snuggled against my neck again. _Everyone I meet here is weird… Even the monsters are weird…_ "Is this going to keep me from training with Riku?" I asked.

DiZ looked at me over his shoulder. "Does that bother you?"

I shifted uncomfortably. _Why does that question sound more serious than he probably means it?_ I heard Riku walk down behind me as I struggled to find an answer. "Not particularly," I said quickly.

DiZ snorted and turned back to the computer, typing away as fast as he could. "For now, keep training."

"What about the heartless? Did you figure anything out about it?" Riku asked.

"I'd like to conduct a small study on it – and Miyuki's heart, as well."

Riku spoke slowly now. "Why Miyuki's heart…?"

"I'm sure you can think up a few reasons," DiZ said dismissively. "Now, if you don't mind leaving me to my work…?"

"Sure thing," I said. "Thanks, DiZ." I headed up the stairs, Riku following behind me. The heartless squirmed in my hands more, shifting so much that by the time I got through to the library, it fell out of my hands and crashed onto the floor.

"Oh! I'm sor—" I stopped and had a reality check. _This is a monster, Miyuki. A little black heart-stealer. It's evil and cruel… And it's begging me to pick it up again._ I stared at Riku blankly. He was looking fairly amused right now.

"Is there a problem?" he said.

"I shouldn't be apologizing to the monster that killed my mother," I said, much more darkly than I'd meant.

"It's not the same monster," he said gently, the amusement draining from his face.

"It's the same _breed_," I spat. "And it wants a _hug_?" It grabbed my hand, tugging on it gently. "No!" I snapped at it, tearing my hand away. It stood still, its arms hanging at its side, blinking up at me, unphased.

"Do you want me to get rid of it?" Riku offered.

I stared at the heartless for a long moment, my eyes watering just a little. _It used to be someone. It used to have a life and a home and a family… And if it's somehow connected to its sanity again…_ "No," I replied quietly. "That's okay." As if it understood, it grabbed my hand and instead of trying to pull itself up, it stood patiently beside me. _You're a really stupid heartless, you know that?_

"Anyway," Riku said, handing me a small vial of green liquid. "You need to drink this."

I took it and stared at it for a long moment before shooting him a distrusting look. "Potion?"

"Semi-potion. It isn't quite as potent as a regular potion, as far as curing, so it'll be about twenty minutes before we can start training again – but it'll rehydrate you and give you an energy boost."

"Really?"

"Yeah – and, you'll wanna make sure you drink it all at once."

"Got it." I threw my head back and dumped the liquid down my throat, the taste nauseatingly sweet – the aftertaste terribly bitter. I smacked my lips. "Wow," I said. "That's disgusting." I arched an eyebrow at the empty vial.

"Is it? Must've gotten you the rotten lemonade by accident…"

"What?" I hissed.

"Kidding," he smirked.

"Very funny," I said sarcastically, and chucked the vial at his head – he caught it with one hand. "Show off!" I snorted.

He ignored that, his expression suddenly going serious. "Do you want to put that in the kitchen? I've got to check on something."

"Does 'something' mean 'Sora'?" I arched an eyebrow at him.

He smiled very faintly – almost distantly, like an old memory had suddenly come back. "You guessed it," he said quietly.

I smiled. "Take your time – I've got to clean the blood off the back of my neck, anyway." I walked to the kitchen, tugging the heartless dangling on my arms alongside me. _Even if Sora's asleep, I should let Riku have some time to himself._

After putting the vial in the sink and slowly cleaning up my hands and neck, I wandered around the mansion a bit, the heartless holding my hand the entire time. I came to a white room with a table, two chairs, and drawings taped up all over the walls. _What is this? Was this the playroom of the kid that used to live here or something?_

I walked up to the first drawing and examined it – it was much too new to belong to a kid from fifty-some years ago. It looked like some tall guy with big red hair standing next to a guy with shorter, spiky blonde hair. They were both in Organization XIII coats.

"So who is this?" I whispered.

I went from drawing to drawing, working my way around the room – seven of them were of the blonde kid before they turned to pictures of a guy with spikey _brown_ hair. In the last picture I came to, he was standing on a beach between a girl with dark red hair, and a boy with silver hair.

"Must be Sora, Riku and Kairi. And that blonde kid…"

I turned to look at the pictures on the other side of the room and nearly had a heart attack. A girl with long blonde hair in a little white dress stood about ten feet away, staring at me in horror. She clutched a sketchbook to her chest with one arm, holding crayons in a death grip with her other – and backed away slowly.

"Riku," she said loudly, backing through the door.

I stared at her blankly. _What about him…?_

"Riku!" she screeched, running out.

I exchanged a glance with the heartless. "Do we look _that _scary?" I asked. It nodded. "Well you say yes to everything, so I don't believe you," I said.

I slowly walked up to the open door and Riku suddenly appeared in front of me, his face inches from mine.

"P-Proximity," I stammered.

"_This _is who you were afraid of?" he said, smirking.

"Huh?" I arched an eyebrow at him.

"Are you laughing at me?" The girl's voice came from behind him, and he turned to face her. I stepped into the hall with them, smiling at the girl.

"Naminé, this is Miyuki," Riku said. "She's nothing to be afraid of." I elbowed him hard in the side.

"You are?" she smiled brightly at me. "It's so nice to meet you. Sorry about my reaction, I didn't know…"

"It's fine," I shrugged. "I mean, if I walked into a room and saw someone holding hands with a heartless, I'd be concerned too. In fact, I _am_ concerned, and I'm the one holding hands with it…"

"Why isn't he trying to steal your heart, anyway? I'd think of all people to be holding hands with it, it'd be…" She shot a look at Riku, trailing off. Something told me that this would only make sense if Riku was much less of a he-man.

"We really don't know," I said quickly, trying to ease her embarrassment. "It just won't leave me alone…"

"Well, he's kind of cute," she smiled at it. "You should give him a name."

"Like what?" I looked down at it.

"Oh, I don't know," she tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'm horrible at naming things." We both stared at him for a moment, pondering a name for him.

"We should get on with training," Riku said, a little impatiently.

"Agreed," I said. "Sorry I scared you, Naminé." Riku and I walked past her, heading down the stairs.

"Have fun," she replied.

We walked back out to the courtyard behind the mansion, and after some struggling, we got the heartless to wander around while Riku taught me 'real' hand-to-hand.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Ready," I nodded sharply.

"_Do not_ hold back."

He threw a punch to my stomach and I stepped to the side and nearer to him, punching him in the side and striking him in the throat with two fingers. He coughed and brought his elbow up, hitting the side of my head. I stumbled away and he bent over, clearing his throat.

"The throat hit was good," he said between coughing, "but you could've blocked my elbow. All you have to do is bring your forearm up and push the punch away. Don't let your defense down just for a cheap shot on your opponent."

"Got it," I nodded, my head pounding.

He stood upright and threw another punch at my stomach. I slid my left arm under his and twisted it, sidling up beside him and slamming my fist into his chin. He jabbed two fingers into my side and, untwisting our arms, grabbed the back of my neck. I reached towards his neck and gripped his throat as he pushed my head down, lifting his knee. My face was now an inch from his kneecap, my hand falling from his throat.

"Don't leave yourself open," he said, putting his knee down, his hand sliding from the back of my neck. I stood upright, staring at him blankly. "When you hit me in the jaw, you left your side wide open while my arm was unoccupied." He was serious now – there was no smirk to ease his stern tone. "It'd be safer to knee me in the gut."

"And more fun," I added.

He smiled faintly at that, shaking his head. "You worry me, Miyuki."

"I could say the same about you," I said.

"I'm not the one proclaiming it's fun to knee people in the gut."

"But you _are_ the one who's got to take care of ridiculously complicated and horrible matters involving your best friend."

"So we have reason to worry over each other," he shrugged. "Now are you ready to fight, or are you just going to keep running your mouth?"


	8. Chapter 8 Scarlet

Hoodie tied around my waist, glass of water in hand, I sat on the desk in the library, aching just slightly from the bruises I'd received while fighting with Riku.

"Aren't you hot?" I asked him, wondering if it would be overkill to dump my water on my head to cool down.

He smirked. "Why, yes, I am."

The heartless sat next to me, DiZ sat in the chair with a journal and pen, and Riku was leaning on the wall next to the desk, arms crossed. It hadn't been too bad that morning, but as the afternoon dragged on, it'd gotten miserably hot. Even when the sun set, it was dreadfully warm.

I rolled my eyes at Riku. "Arrogant, much? I was referring to the coat. You have to be baking in it."

"Nah, I'm alright."

A machine about the size of a generator sat next to DiZ, whirring and flashing blue and green every so often. A wire stretched out from the side of this machine and was taped onto the inside of my right wrist. Though how the tape stuck was foreign to me; I was sweaty enough that most tape would slide right off. DiZ had his eyes glued onto the journal in his lap, writing and mumbling softly to himself while I stared incredulously at the overheating kid next to me.

"Seriously, dude. I can see sweat dripping down your face. Go change if you have to. Just take off the damn coat before you explode."

He sighed and took it off, laying it behind me on the desk. Thankfully, he was wearing pants. What he wasn't wearing was a shirt. I wasn't sure whether to feel thankful or embarrassed.

"Happy now?"

I was about to feel really awkward, when I noticed the bruises on his shoulders, arms and torso. "Ha!" I grinned. "_That's_ why you wouldn't take your jacket off!"

"I bruise easily – don't get excited about it."

"Ha!" I cried again. _If I was going to get excited, it wouldn't be over the bruises…_ "—Ooh, I really got you with the knee to the side, huh…?" I said quietly, staring at the giant bruise in awe at my own strength.

"Perhaps you shouldn't… be so hard on one another," DiZ said absentmindedly. "You'll need your strength… for… the Organization." He kept glancing between the machine and the journal, pausing in his sentence to write with more focus.

"That which does not kill me, makes me stronger," I quoted.

"Yes – after you've been weaker for several days."

"Good point…" I cast a glance at the heartless that'd wrapped its arms around mine. "Aren't you ever going to get tired of me?" I grumbled.

"I _did_ offer to get rid of it for you…" Riku said.

"I know you did." I siged. "But it's sort of… nice, being wanted like this. Nice and unrealistic. I keep expecting it to turn on me."

There was a long pause before I finally looked at Riku, who hung his head, his expression hidden by his hair.

"Are you okay—?"

"Riku. I'm afraid I'll require your absence."

"Right," he nodded, grabbing his coat from the desk and heading towards the foyer.

I stared at DiZ blankly. _That was abrupt…_ "What's that all about?" I asked.

"What's what all about?"

"Riku went quiet when I started talking about the heartless."

"I haven't a clue what goes through his head." He sat back and looked at me with what I thought to be a sort of analyzing stare. "I'd like a clue as to what goes through yours."

I glanced at the machine I was connected to before replying. "Test time, huh?"

"What were you thinking when you followed Riku into the dark corridor?"

I paused. "Well… I was thinking that, a coward runs from his problems, his fears – the honest man confronts them."

"You're not a man," DiZ said.

"Thank you for noticing."

"How was Riku your problem?"

I cleared my throat, throwing a look at the heartless next to me. "My job was to eliminate heartless. I noticed a surge of darkness, and there he was." I shrugged. _That's not the whole story, but that sums it up._

"That's not all that happened," DiZ said.

"Technically, no. Riku tripped backwards and when I went to see if he was okay, he stood up and disappeared into the dark corridor. I followed him."

"Why?"

"It was my job to eliminate heartless." There was a pause. He didn't believe that. "And… I'd dreamt about him before."

"How many times?"

"Five."

"Were you really too weak to walk when you entered the dark corridor?"

I snorted. "Contrary to popular belief, yes, I was."

"Were you too weak to walk when your world was overcome by darkness?"

I swallowed hard. "I don't know if it was because of the darkness, or because I was frozen stiff while watching my father get eaten alive."

"What of your mother?"

"Died in my place," I said coldly. "She kept the heartless busy while I went to my father."

"You're content to have the very kind of monster that killed your family, on your arm?"

"Keep your friends close, enemies closer," I said.

"Aren't we full of old sayings tonight?"

"Yes, we are."

"Are you angry with me?"

"Yes, a little."

"I _did_ say this test wasn't for the weak of heart."

"Yes, you did." I looked down at the heartless on my arm. As angry as I was that its kind took my parents away, I couldn't bring myself to hate the dark being. _How sad is it that I crave relationship so much that I befriended a heartless?_ I felt rather stupid and pathetic.

"Do you enjoy your days at the mansion?" he asked.

I looked back up at him. "Yeah," I said, smiling a little. "I really do."

"Even though you've been beaten and analyzed?"

I smirked. "I'm tougher than you think."

"You put on a brave face," he consented. "What were you thinking as Riku carried you across the dark corridor?"

"Something along the lines of 'I'm an idiot, he's probably a psycho'."

DiZ looked amused. "And were you correct?"

I laughed a little. "More than I realized."

The amusement drifted from his expression. "How do you expect this affair to end?"

I swallowed. "My world will be restored and I can go home."

"You realize this means you'll be separated from me, and Riku, and that heartless?"

_I hadn't thought of that, really…_ "I want to go home," I said quietly.

"You can take the sensor off now," he nodded to my wrist and stood up. "We're done for today. Thank you, Miyuki – you make a very interesting study."

"What did you find out?" I asked, standing up – the heartless scrambled up onto my shoulder, hooking its arms around my neck and dangling behind me, piggy-back style. I sat my glass on the desk and plucked the wire off of my wrist.

"I'll let you know once I process the data," he said, grabbing the handle and toting it towards the stairs.

"Okay. Well, I'd better go back to the inn. Later!"

"Sleep tight."

He disappeared into the shade of the staircase and I went to the foyer, the heartless dropping to its own feet and scrambling over to hold my hand.

"You're so weird," I said to it. It nodded. "And I'm the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, right?" It nodded. "I like you," I smiled at it.

"I'm surprised you haven't come up with a name for it yet," Riku said, coming out of the kitchen, back in the Organization's coat.

"Oh, I'm working on it. You gonna walk me back to the inn again?"

"Why, are you afraid of the dark?"

"You aren't going to let an innocent young girl go running back to town without any protection?" I said with mock horror.

"Good point. You're not trustworthy at all." We walked out, Riku on my left, the heartless on my right. There was a brief pause as I took in the scenery – shrubs, statues, a stone walkway laid before iron gates, all lit up by the moonlight.

"So did DiZ find anything out about the heartless?" Riku asked quietly.

"Oh, I'm sure he'll fill you in, if you ask." I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes.

"I don't mean to pry. I don't want to know if you don't want to tell me."

I smiled. "I appreciate that." I paused a minute, wondering if DiZ minded me telling Riku what'd happened. _He'd have told me if he wanted to keep it confidential, right?_ "He asked why I followed you," I said, fixing my eyes on the path ahead.

Riku's head snapped towards me as I spoke, as if he didn't expect me to say anything about it. "Yeah?"

"Mhm."

"And you told him…?"

"I said it was my job to get rid of heartless…" I bit my lower lip. _Ah… This could make things awkward._ "Plus, I had those dreams about you. Curiosity got the best of me." My face was red now, and I tugged the heartless up into my arms. _Having something to clutch might make this awkward moment easier for me._

"Yeah… I wondered if that was you."

I fixed my eyes on him now. "What?"

"This sounds weird, but… I'm pretty sure I've met you in a dream, too." He rubbed the back of his neck, hanging his head.

I stared at the heartless in my hands. "We're always standing in the middle of darkness… And you always tell me I don't belong there."

He snorted. "Yeah, and you always insist I'm wrong."

I looked at him sideways. "So… does that reflect anything you're thinking in real life?"

He hesitates. "Not really."

"Does that mean 'no it doesn't' or 'push me; I'm afraid to answer'?"

He smiled faintly for a moment before answering quietly, "I still wonder why you're not just living a normal life until your world's restored."

"That's because my life _won't_ be normal until my world's restored."

"Fine then – a _peaceful_ life."

"A _boring_, stressful, sit-and-wait-for-things-to-happen life."

"But you _definitely_ wouldn't get hurt."

"You don't know that," I said, shooting him a look.

"I know you're taking unnecessary risks just being around us."

"'Us' meaning 'you'?" I narrowed my eyes at him. He didn't answer. "Mhm… Well Riku, if I thought you were a risk, would I be walking alone with you at night?"

He reached over and pulled the sleeve of my hoodie until it unwrapped from my waist. He shook it out and put it over my shoulders. "You can't even tell when you need a jacket," he said. "Your judgement is obviously impaired."

"Oh?" I scoffed. "Impaired by what, exactly?"

"You haven't been in your right mind since I took my jacket off, and you know it," he smirked.

I shook my head. "I walked right into that one."

"Further proof your judgement's impaired."

I balanced the heartless in one hand and hit him in the shoulder – my hoodie slid off my shoulders and fell behind us on the brickwork. I put down the heartless and started to get it, when he teasingly said, "See what you've done now?"

He walked back and grabbed it before I could, helping me into it.

"I could've grabbed that, you know," I said as we started walking again, staring at him out of the corner of my eye.

"I'm aware," he replied.

"So why'd you get it for me?" I challenged.

"Would you like me to throw it on the ground again, and you can pick it up for yourself?"

"I was just wondering if maybe, you know, your judgement was impaired," I shrugged.

"_I_ can't see _your_ abs, remember?"

I laughed. "Did you mean that to sound as awkward as it did?"

He smirked. "Wouldn't _you_ like to know."

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. "I'm not the only one who's not trustworthy." There was a brief pause. "So do you wear that blindfold all the time, or just when you're out and about?"

"I try to wear it all the time – but sometimes it just gets uncomfortable."

"And I'd imagine not being able to see is a bitch," I said.

"I make up for it with other senses."

"Yeah…"

Another pause.

"If you don't mind, what else did DiZ ask you about?"

_I don't know why you want to know…_ "My world. My parents. Whether or not I felt weak to darkness when it ate them." I looked down, the memories weeding their way to the front of my mind.

"Anyone would," Riku said.

"He didn't say it like that, so I knew he was referring to my… condition. The one I haven't suffered from in two days." I rubbed the back of my neck. "Are you sure your heart's stained in darkness? Because I don't see how I can be around a heart like that and not feel like I'm twice my weight."

He snorted. "Trust me."

There was a long pause.

_I stare at the darkness, trying to find her. Where is she? Is she alright?_

I shake my head and look down at the heartless hanging onto my pant leg, following after me dedicatedly. "So what're we going to do with this?" I pointed at it.

"I'll just send it back to darkness."

_Really? But I was sort of hoping he'd stay with me…_ "Oh," I said quietly.

He smiled. "You're attached, aren't you?"

"Well…" He stopped walking. I turned to him. "What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Isn't this your inn?"

"Oh, ha, yeah. I'm observant," I remarked sarcastically.

"Your judgement must still be a little impaired."

"Yeah, that's it," I rolled my eyes, shaking my head.

"If I don't send it back to darkness, it'll just follow you."

I smiled. "I don't mind."

"Alright then. Goodnight, Miyuki."

I assessed the possibility of some form of contact – a handshake, a hug, something. The thought was pleasant enough, but I figured the actual action would be rather awkward. "Goodnight," I said, my voice much more shy than I'd anticipated. I felt my face go red. _Why am I blushing…?_

Then I realized, even under the blue glow of the full moon, his face was _just_ tinted with a shade of scarlet.


	9. Chapter 9 Attached

I slip through the door, the lights of the inn barely lighting the foyer enough for me to get to the hall. The heartless held my hand, waddling with me down the equally dark hall. _I didn't think about the reaction of the other guests… But it's late. Everyone's probably asleep. Hopefully._ I looked down at the shadow on my hand, smiling at him. _You're so different from all the other shadows. It's bizarre. I still don't completely trust you… But I'm not going to shun you. You're kind of sweet… in a weird way._

I hear creaking and suddenly a light is shining in my face. I hold my hand in front of my face and hear the manager of the inn speaking in a shaky voice.

"Y-You! You're not doing your j-job!"

_Ah! Crap! What now?_ "What are you talking about?" I said, using my best shocked voice.

"That _thing_! It-It's one of those monsters! Get out of my inn!"

_Bullshit your way through it, Miyuki…_ "What monster? There's no one with me! Are you alright?"

"Get out _now_! And take th-that _thing_!"

"But there's _no one_—"

"_Out_!"

I shut my eyes tight in disappointment and headed back through the hall to the foyer and out the door of the inn.

I looked down at the heartless. "You're no one," I said quietly. "What's the Latin word for it… _nemo_. That's right. You're Nemo." It nodded. I walked across Tram Common, weighing my options.

_On one hand, I could go to the Old Mansion and ask for a place to sleep. I don't think they'd mind me staying there, except that I'd probably wake them up. And DiZ needs his sleep. I can't just show up in one of the rooms tomorrow morning… So do I sleep in the streets for now?_

I looked at Nemo. "Do you want to go stay at the Mansion, and wake everyone up just so we can sleep on a bed?" It nodded. "Yeah. Me too." I took a deep breath and walked through the rest of the Common, through the woods and up to the mansion, Nemo waddling along beside me.

I stared at the door, hesitant. _Okay… So I either walk in, go down to the computer room and ask DiZ if he has a spare bedroom, or knock on the door and hope someone comes._ There was no getting around the awkward factor. I kept playing the explanation over in my head; _I'm sorry. The manager caught me with the heartless, who I've named Nemo, which means no one, because I tried to tell the manager he was crazy, that there was 'no one' with me. I really wish I didn't have to ask this, but do you have a spare room I can sleep in?_

I sighed. "This is difficult."

The door swung open and hit me in the head. I stumbled backwards, tripped on the stairs leading to the door and fell backwards, falling on my butt. Nemo hissed at the door for a brief moment before waddling over to me and wrapping his arms around my neck. Blood leaked from my palms.

"Miyuki?" Riku walked over to me, offering me his hand. "What are you _doing_?"

"Feeling like an _idiot_!" I spat, rear end aching, hands stinging. "Why do you always knock me onto my bum?"

"Don't be such a sissy. Do you want help up, or not?"

"My hands feel like they've been run over a cheese grater!" I shot him a look and realized he had his hood pulled up. "What's with looking like the grim reaper? Is someone watching us?"

He walked to my side, grabbed my arm and tugged me to my feet. "Of course not. What are you doing here?"

Nemo clung to me piggy-back-style, burying his face in my neck. I could've sworn I heard him purr – or something akin to that. "I got kicked out of the inn for having Nemo with me."

He arched an eyebrow. "Nemo? So you've given it a name?"

"Yes, I have," I said indignantly. "And now I have nowhere to sleep."

"Do you honestly think we're going to make you sleep in the streets?" he scoffed.

"Well, thank you."

"It's no problem – you practically live here, anyway."

"And it's much homier than that inn." I tried to see his face in the darkness beneath his hood. "No, seriously, why are you all shrouded in your hood?"

"Don't worry about it." He turned and headed into the mansion and I followed.

No matter how much I pried, he wouldn't fess up about why he was hiding beneath that hood – or what he was doing outside. He led me to a room with tan carpet and dark wooden furniture, the walls painted a rich wine color. A window looked out on the back courtyard and a bathroom was connected to it. Before I could ask one more time, he said goodnight and walked away.

Confused, but too tired to really think about it, I put Nemo on the floor and, after rinsing my hands in the bathroom, collapsed onto the bed. He waddled over and sat next to me, folding his hands in his lap and staring at me as if he was prepared to listen to all my problems.

"Goodnight, Nemo," I mumbled, drifting asleep.

"_The coward will lie, cheat, and run from any problem in fear, but the honest man confronts it. You take the option of confronting fear, _every time_ it's presented to you. Understand?"_

"_Yeah, Dad, I understand." I know I'm in a dream – I'm still my age, I'm not seven in this dream – and I wish I would wake up._

_My memories skip – I stand in the bathroom, peeking out the door. My father's on the ground. Heartless surround him; they reach towards his chest— _

"_You're not supposed to be here." Riku's in front of me, arms crossed, hood concealing his face._

_I swallow, tears slipping down my face. "My family didn't deserve it."_

"_Who are you to decide what people deserve?" his voice is soft._

_I hit him in the shoulder. "I _know_ who they were. They were loving. They took care of me."_

"_Is it your world you want back, or your parents?" His tone is gentle, but frank – I know he's only bringing it up to keep my feet on the ground._

"_My parents are stronger than the darkness!" I snap. "Which is more than can be said for either of us."_

"_You'll never see your parents again, Miyuki."_

"_I know," I whisper. "I just… need something stable. A sanctuary. Maybe if my world's restored, I'll have that." Something's off – there's a signal going off in my brain telling me I'm wrong._

"_I'm sorry," he says. I half-expect him to pull me into a hug – instead, he flips his hood down._

I started awake to Nemo crouched down in front of my face, blinking at me with his bright yellow eyes. I quickly wiped tears from my eyes and sat upright. Light was pouring into my room – it had to be about seven.

I walked into the hall to the overwhelmingly delicious scent of eggs and bacon. I stood there and inhaled deeply. "Ohh… What is this brilliance?" I assumed that they always ate power-bars and semi-potions, like we had for lunch and dinner yesterday. I stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Naminé and Riku sat the small table in the corner, and DiZ stood over a frying pan on the oven. I stood in the doorway, staring blankly at this for a moment.

"That smells amazing, DiZ," I said.

"Why thank you, Miyuki!" he said cheerily. "I don't get many compliments these days."

Naminé stared at me blankly. "Miyuki…?"

I smiled. "Morning," I sat down between her and Riku.

"Good morning…" She threw glances from me to Riku, and back and forth over and over.

_What's her problem…? _"I had no idea you cook," I said to DiZ.

He chuckled. "I am a man of many talents." He handed me a plate full of food. "Be sure to finish all of that. Riku tells us he's getting rough with training today."

"Oh really?" I arched an eyebrow at the black-clad boy on my right – no coat, but an equally dark tshirt and jeans. Naminé giggled as Nemo waddled in and climbed into the empty chair across from me, barely peeking at me over the table.

"I've got a few ideas that might speed up your training," Riku nodded.

"Wanted to make sure I didn't hurt you this time, huh?" I grinned.

He pointed at my food. "Be sure to finish all of that," he replied in the same taunting tone.

_Oh. Food. Right._ I stuffed a mouthful of eggs into my mouth. After dispatching plates to Riku and Naminé, DiZ glared down at the heartless in his chair.

"What's _this_?"

"That's my disciple," I replied.

"Then shouldn't it be in _your_ seat?" DiZ shooed it out of the chair and it waddled over to me, climbing up my arm and sitting on my shoulders, happily drumming its fingers on my head. Naminé giggled again, Riku's eyebrows knit. I rolled my eyes and looked up, as if I could see it on the top of my head.

"You would, wouldn't you?" I said. It laid its head on mine, still drumming.

"Bizarre little beast," DiZ said quietly. I was a little amused at his table manners. He sat perfectly upright, elbows slightly out, an air of dignity in his features. Naminé kept herself to herself, taking tiny little bites and keeping her arms tucked at her sides. Riku rested his right elbow on the table, shoveling in his food as carelessly as I did.

I shook my head slightly. _I need to stop analyzing how they eat…_

Naminé kept throwing looks at Riku and me, and every time I'd catch her, she'd glue her eyes to her plate. _This is getting creepy… I'd better ask her about it if we have a moment alone later._

After scarfing down breakfast and washing up – Nemo drumming on my head the entire time – Riku and I made our way to the courtyard, the morning sun glaring down on us.

"Before we start, I want to apologize," he said quickly.

I tossed my jacket towards the door, my eyebrows knitting. _What…?_ "For knocking me over? Dude, it was an accident. I'm not mad."

"What? No, I know that was an accident."

"Oh. Then what are you talking about?" I crossed my arms.

He sighed. "Don't tell me you don't remember?"

My eyes widened a little. "_What_?" _Did I get drunk last night or something? What the crap?_

"Your dream – well, at least, I hope you had the same dream…?"

I sighed in relief. "Oh. Yes, I remember my dream last night. You interrupted…" I shook my head. _That doesn't matter._ "…You're keeping my feet on the ground."

He shifted uncomfortably. "I just… didn't mean it the way it sounded."

I smiled. "Thank you." _I'd give you a hug if I didn't think it'd be awkward… Especially with Nemo sitting on my head…_ Riku's shoulders sagged a little – he didn't respond.

"Normally this is where you say 'shut up and smack me' or something dismissive and violent like that." I grabbed Nemo's arm and tugged, the spoiled little thing clambering to the ground and grabbing my pant leg dedicatedly. _I would ask if everything's okay… But you're struggling to keep your friend alive and training a violent smartass…_ "Do you want to talk about something?"

"You know yourself," he said quietly. I kept quiet, wanting him to continue. His words were strained – he picked them carefully. "You know what's best for you when you see it. Or… maybe not."

I arched an eyebrow at him. "Explain."

"Never mind." He thumbed behind himself and a huge heartless sprang from the ground, towering at least thirty feet into the air. My jaw slid down, and I gaped openmouthed at it. "That's called a darkside. Each person's is different – and I finally know you well enough that I can summon yours."

I smiled a little. "I'm _this_ powerful?"

He smirked. "I don't know. Can you beat it?"

I shot him a look. "You're cheating, changing the subject like this," I said.

"It's ready to strike," he said, grabbing Nemo's arm and leaning against the wall of the mansion. "Better keep your eyes open."

My darkside was dark blue, gangly and had narrow, yellow slits for eyes. A huge heart-shaped hole was in the middle of it. It leaned forward, swinging its fist towards the ground where I stood. I ran towards it, narrowly missing the fist itself – but losing my balance as the ground around it shook beneath the blow. I fell forward, catching myself with my hands. Shadows started popping up in the area around my darkside's hand, and none of these had the demeanor of Nemo.

My darkside swayed closer to the ground, ready to stand up fully. I jumped up and gripped the lock of hair dangling closest to me, pulling myself up onto its right shoulder. I twisted my left hand around the hair – I had _no_ intention of falling off that thing – and thrust my right hand into its eye.

_Fira!_

It screeched and swiped its right shoulder – I swung around to the back of its head, missing the hit by a foot. I gripped the back of my darkside's neck with my right hand.

_Fira! Fira! Fira!_

It reached back and started groping for me – I untangled myself from its hair and slid to the ground not-so-gracefully. I ended up on my rear while it felt all over its neck, and in the moment I stood up, it turned around and knocked me to the side with its foot. I scrambled to my feet as it reached for me again. _For the _last_ time! FIRA._ I gripped its hand and it burst into flames. It screeched again and raised its foot to stomp on me. I jumped to the side. _Blizzara!_ Its foot froze against the ground and it temporarily lost balance, falling forward and breaking the ice around its foot.

I ran between its legs as it crashed to the ground. It turned its head, threw its hand out towards me, and a big shiny orb flew at me. _What the—? Aeroga!_ A shield of wind wrapped around me, the orb glancing off of me and smacking the darkside in the face. I held both hands out towards its head. _Blizzaga._ Ice shot out towards its head and froze it in place. I leapt towards it. _Thundaga._ A bolt of lightning cracked down on its head – it shuddered, uttering a muffled shriek. _Thundaga._ A second bolt – the ice shattered, and it scrambled to stand up. _Thundaga._ The third bolt struck its head just as it pushed itself to its feet, and with one last deafening wail, it dissipated into black smoke, writhing in dark swirls as it floated away.

I bent over, resting my hands on my knees, drenched in sweat and practically breathless.

"That was impressive," Riku said.

"Thanks," I panted.

"Make sure you're breathing properly whenever you fight."

I nodded silently, wiping sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand. I took a deep breath and stood up. "Alright. Now explain what you meant when you rambled about me not knowing what's good for myself."

"It was nothing," he said. "Be sure to block this and _keep bre_—"

"No, no," I shook my head. "I'm not fighting back until you spill your guts."

"How do you manage to refuse to be violent and sound aggressive at the same time?"

"Answer me, Riku."

"It was nothing important."

"_Prove it_." I rested my hands on my hips.

He heistated. "I was just thinking how together you are, how you take advice without getting offended. You use your head _and_ your heart. Then I come along, the _last_ person you should meet, and you drop everything and follow me."

My shoulders slumped. _Why does everyone keep talking about the first time I met you?_ "I wanted answers," I said, "And I wasn't about to let the only guy I ever felt attached to just _run away_." He looked a little taken aback, so I quickly explained that. "I mean, the dreams about my parents were only ever cut off by dreams of _you_. You helped me keep my head on straight so many times… If it weren't for you stirring up my curiosity, the memories would've driven me insane…" I buried my bright red face in my hands. "I sound mental. I'm sure you're thinking up ways to kick me out of the mansion right now." I rested my hands on my hips again. "I'm sorry."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "See, _you_ know how to say things!" he grumbled.

I snorted. "Have you heard me at all the past minute?"

"I don't know _what_ to think half the time, Miyuki," he said quietly. "Much less how to say it."

"If your heart is confused, use your brain – and vice versa."

"That's easy for someone who knows exactly what her heart's intentions are."

"Oh, please," I rolled my eyes. "Just because these pants have stains, doesn't mean they don't cover my ass. And just because your heart has stains, doesn't mean it's not still _your heart_." I stabbed him in the chest with my index finger.

"How do you know that?"

"If your heart's intentions were _that_ influenced by darkness, why didn't you kill the weakling stalking you instead of taking care of her?"

"I hardly _took care_ of you."

"I would've rot in the dark corridor and you know it," I said sternly.

"I'm the reason you were in it in the first place."

"But you got me out of there – a heart taken over by darkness feels no guilt." I pointed at him.

He hesitated, then took a deep breath. "You have a point. I still don't understand how you can feel comfortable with me at all."

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Once you beat a guy black and blue, you can't help but relate to him a little."

He snorted. "You're one to talk. I seem to remember your face inches from my knee cap…"

"That doesn't change the fact that I beat you so hard you're embarrassed to take off your jacket."

"Alright, enough talk. Keep your breathing steady, and don't leave yourself open."

"Got it."

He struck his hand towards my abdomen and I stepped to his side, striking him in the side with one hand. I almost hit him in the side of the head, but he turned and gripped my arm, twisting it back. I snapped my hand towards his throat and he pushed it away with his forearm, kneeing me in the stomach.

"Shit," I hissed, slamming one fist towards his side. He deflected that with another block. I stretched my neck out and chomped on his fingers wrapped around my upper arm.

"What the—?" he spat, letting go and backing away. "Did you just _bite_ me?"

I rolled my shoulders, cracking the joints. "_Bite_ you?" I said innocently. "You think _I_ would _bite_ you?"

"You just have a… unique way of fighting."

"Stop being a little girly-man!" I said, punching him in the arm. _I don't understand how I feel so comfortable with you, either. But you're the best thing that's happened to me in a very, very long time._


	10. Chapter 10 Confession

Naminé stood in my bedroom doorway, holding her pajamas in her arm. "I thought maybe you'd want to change into these for the night, that way I can clean your clothes?"

"Oh, thanks! That's really thoughtful. I appreciate it." I rubbed the back of my neck. "But… Um… I don't think we're the same size." I was about three inches taller and a bra size or two bigger than her.

She blushed. "Oh, of course! I'm sorry… Do you think maybe Riku would…?"

I shrugged. "Only one way to find out, right?" I grabbed Nemo by the arm, stopping him from running circles around me like he had been ever since Naminé caught my attention. He grabbed onto my pant leg and waddled along with us as we made our way to Riku's bedroom door. I knocked – no answer.

"Hey! You in here?" I called. Still nothing.

I opened the door and walked in. It looked exactly like my room, except the walls were rich blue and a dresser stood at the end of the bed. Nemo jumped on the bed and Naminé stood timidly in the doorway as I walked over to it and pulled open the top drawer. Boxers. Black, of course.

"Should you be going through his stuff?" Naminé said quietly.

"I'm just grabbing a shirt for one night. It's not like I'm stealing his stuff."

Second drawer had an extra coat. "I guess that makes sense, considering— Oh! H-Hi, Riku…" Naminé stammered.

I looked up to see her cowering from the black-clad boy now standing in his bedroom doorway, arms crossed.

"What the hell are you doing, Miyuki?" he said, his tone much lighter than Naminé must've expected. I opened the top drawer and grabbed a pair of boxers.

"Playing with your underwear," I said simply, chucking them at his head. Naminé flinched, stepping out of the line of fire. "I might also be looking for a tshirt and pants to sleep in while the kind-hearted Naminé throws these in the washing machine," I looked down at my dirty clothes.

"Bottom drawer," he said, and chucked the boxers back at me. "Put everything back when you're done playing," he smirked, walking away.

I grinned, thoroughly amused. Naminé stared at me blankly.

"What?" I said, smile fading.

"How can you joke with him like that? He's normally so… stand-offish."

I shrugged. "I don't know. I like making him laugh." I stuffed his underwear back into the top drawer and snatched a shirt and sweapants from the bottom. "Let's go." I walked past the two of them, out the door and headed to my room.

After stripping in the bathroom while Naminé waited patiently in the bedroom, I slid my clothes underneath the door and took a long shower. Hearing water hit the tile reminded me of rain – something I hadn't seen for so long, I felt a little sick for it.

"_How can you joke with him like that?"_ Naminé's words echoed through my head.

_Joking keeps you from feeling the full weight of the discussion – a weight that usually crushes you. I think, we've both been feeling the full weight of things for so long…_

I turned off the tap and stepped out of the tub, drying myself off with a towel three times my size. I slid into the shirt and sweatpants and walked down the stairs, intending to see how DiZ was doing. I stopped at the library door, hearing his deep bass voice echo against the bookcases.

"What you do with this information is up to you. I am simply the messenger," he said quietly.

"Are you going to tell her?"

"I will always appreciate what you've done for me, Riku. And should you ever ask, I should be happy to do anything you ask. _Except_ tell her."

"A simple 'yes' or 'no' would've sufficed."

I opened the door and walked in, smiling innocently. I noticed a glass of red wine in DiZ's hand as he sat in the chair, his feet propped up on the desk. Riku was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, in the same clothes as me, and I clapped my hand to my cheek.

"We got the same outfit! How embarrassing."

"Truly mortifying," he said sarcastically.

"Hey Diz," I smiled at him. "What're we celebrating?"

"I've created a replica of Twilight Town," DiZ said grandly. "If you step on a pad in the corner of the computer room, your being is shifted into the replica computer room, in the replica mansion, et cetera, et cetera. It's taken weeks to complete, and now Roxas can have a pleasant dream while Naminé collects his thoughts. Organization XIII will be tempted to capture him for their own profit, and we'll have perfect control of them there."

"Really?" My eyes widened at him. "That's incredible. Is that what you were working on all this time?"

He nodded. "We needed it as soon as possible. I have a feeling Sora's nobody is going to require some persuading." He shot a look at Riku.

"I'd rather not dwell on that," he said.

"Either way, it is a relief to have the freedom of enjoying a glass of wine and a good night's rest," DiZ said. "The bottle's in the kitchen if you'd like some, Miyuki."

"Thanks, but I don't drink," I laughed quietly. _I'm a minor, so it's illegal for me to drink anyway. But then, it's not as if we're law-fearing citizens…_

"What a coincidence…" DiZ shot another look at Riku, who shook his head in what I interpreted as disgust. "I am retiring to my bed now," he stood up and bowed his head at me before exiting. "Goodnight, Miyuki. Riku." A third look was shot at Riku, who muttered a small "Night" in response.

"Sleep in tomorrow, okay?" I said to DiZ.

"If you insist," he chortled as he walked out.

I made a surprised face at Riku. "He _bowed_ to me," I said.

"Drinking always makes him relapse to the mannerisms he had as the leader of his world," he smiled a little.

I laughed a little. "That's right. I forgot about who he was in his world." I sat on the desk and pointed to the chair. "You're always standing around with your arms crossed. Sit down, huh?"

He snorted softly and obeyed, slumping in the chair and letting his head hang back. "So how much did you hear when you were eavesdropping at the door?"

I felt my face get hot and stared at my lap, chewing on my lower lip. "Ah… I heard DiZ say you've got something to tell 'her'. Whoever 'her' is." A smirk played on his lips, not sure if it wanted to stay there or not. "Might 'her' have awkwardly pink hair?"

He smiled now. "It suits you."

_But if he always wears a blindfold… Wait! No, he doesn't always wear a blindfold! That's why he wears his hood up very now and then – so that no one sees him in Ansem's body._ "Does that mean I'm 'her'?"

"It means you look good. Normally a 'thank you' or something should follow that kind of remark…"

"Thank you. Are you going to tell me what you were talking about?"

"No," he looked a little amused.

"Fine," I shrugged. _There was a reason it was just the two of them, anyway._ There was a long pause. "I keep expecting I'll wake up, realize that I'm still seven, and that none of this ever happened," I said quietly.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. I wondered if he realized that he was barely a foot from me. "Expecting, or hoping?" he replied in the same hushed tone.

"I'd love to have my family back. But that would mean I'd never have met you. Which would suck, because as far as I can tell, you make a decent friend." There was another pause. "Why won't you let me see you without your blindfold?"

He shook his head. "Because it's not _me_. I don't want you picturing me in that form."

"But everyone else has seen you like that, haven't they?"

"I think we've established that you are not like everyone else."

"So you're going to cheat me out of seeing your entire face just because I'm awesomer than your average person?"

"I'm not cheating you out of anything. Trust me."

"I think we've established that neither of us are trustworthy," I retorted.

"Why do you want to see me without this blindfold so badly?" he said quietly.

"Eventually, my world's going to be restored. When that happens, I might never see you again. Do you know how pissed I'd be, if I couldn't remember your face because of that blindfold?"

He exhaled. "I'm not taking it _off_," he said quietly. He tucked his thumb beneath the part of blindfold covering his right eye and gently flipped it up. A bright teal eye blinked several times as it adjusted to the lighting. A few seconds felt like a few hours, but when he finally met my gaze, a chill ran up my spine. My face went red – I was embarrassed for staring at him, even though that was the point of him moving the blindfold in the first place. "Are you blushing?" His eyebrows raised.

"No," I said, too quickly for him to believe.

He smiled, and I expected a cocky remark, but he just sat there, staring back. I felt a little nervous – as though the longer I held his gaze, the easier it was to see what I was thinking. He pushed the blindfold up a little more so that it rested over his right brow on its own, scooting the chair forward and resting an elbow on the desk and his head in one hand. "Well?"

"'Well' what?" I said.

"What do you think of my face, now that you'll be able to remember it?"

"It's rude to fish for compliments, you know."

"You forced me to show you my face. I have the right to ask what you think of it."

"I didn't _force_ you to do _any_—"

"You know you did."

_Alright, I _did _push you…_ I pursed my lips. "It's a nice face. I'll have to see it like this more often to remember it properly, though."

"If you insist," he said, his tone suddenly extremely hushed. It almost sounded like a confession. I bit my lower lip again. "I keep expecting you to realize exactly who you're with and walk out of here," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, please."

"I'm serious. I hold back so much power, I scare myself. It sounds like I'm bragging… But what if I release that power, and I lose control of it?"

"And you think I'm going to ditch you just because of that?"

His eyebrows knit. "Aren't you listening?"

"What if I killed myself tonight? What if I'm too weak against my memories, that I just ended it?" He looked shocked. "Don't get lost in what-if's. Everyone has demons. You kill yourself to escape them, let them control you, or you deal with them in whatever way is necessary. Darkness used to control you, and now you deal with it. Your heart wouldn't be where it is now if you weren't strong enough to overcome darkness."

He was silent, staring at me with an expression I couldn't decipher. "Please don't kill yourself," he said finally.

I smiled. "I won't. Especially not now that I have something worth living for. –Being able to go back home and all," I added quickly, the smile being replaced by further blushing. _But home won't be the same without my parents. Won't it just be full of more painful memories? …What am I saying? I have to go back and rebuild everything! I have to._ But seeing him like this – to hear him be so honest, he even expressed fear – made me wish the routine of the past couple of days would never end. _And the fear of losing something is always the one I face first._


	11. Chapter 11 Heartbeat

"So what're you thinking?" Riku asked.

"My butt is now _completely_ numb," I replied.

He snorted, an expression of surprise and amusement glinting in the one eye I could see. "Because I needed to know that."

"Hey, you asked," I shrugged.

"Were trading seats now," he said, standing up.

I stared up at him from my position on the desk. "Sit down!" I demanded. "It's no big deal. I'm not _that_ high-maintenance."

He grabbed my arms and tugged me to my feet. "I just can't stand the thought of you having no feeling in your hindquarters." There was a smirk in his expression as he turned me around, preparing to shove me into the chair, if necessary. I shivered, unable to help but notice that this was the first time his skin actually touched mine – and his hands were freezing.

"I didn't realize my hindquarters concerned you," I arched an eyebrow at him.

"You're the one who brought it up." He slid his hands to the top of my shoulders, pressing down.

"I'm sitting, I'm sitting!" I slapped his arms away and sat down, propping my feet against the desk and leaning back in the chair.

He crossed his arms, resting against the desk with his arms crossed, staring at me with a smug look. "I'll ask again – answer seriously this time – what are you thinking?"

"My butt seriously _is_ numb," I said. "However, I was just thinking that maybe rebuilding my world won't be as satisfying as I thought."

He cocked his head a little. "What?"

I shifted a little, stretching my legs out across the desk and staring at my bare feet. "Well… I know I'm not going to find my parents." I uttered this last word in a hushed tone, as if it was something really embarrassing to say in front of the opposite sex. "So really all I'm going to find there is an empty house and a bunch of old memories I don't want to recall." I wiggled my toes.

"You're going to want those memories, eventually," he said quietly.

I nodded. "I know. I just feel like 'eventually' is going to be 'on my deathbed', so digging it all up so soon is sort of like opening this gash on my stomach…"

"That's nice and graphic…" he said. "It's preachy, but don't run away from your memories. It just doesn't work."

"I know," I whispered. _"You take the option of confronting fear, _every time_ it's presented to you."_ "I understand."

There was a pause, and he looked off at the other end of the library. "First thing I'm going to do when I get back to Destiny Islands – my home – is burn that damned raft."

I smiled. "So much for preserving memories."

"There are some that don't need paraphernalia to stay alive and well," he said.

_Would you look back at me? I've never seen anyone with such a blue-green eye._ "Even if this isn't a dream my seven-year-old self is having, sometimes I feel like I'm still just as naïve and lost as I was then."

"I know that feeling well," he nodded, still keeping his gaze from mine. "Sometimes I just… I was such an idiot. And I can't change any of it." He pauses before taking a sharp breath and spitting out words enveloped in self-resentment. "How do you _not know_ what darkness is, and how it operates? How do you _not know_, after hearing so many stories? My world was perfect – my life was perfect – and I had to let darkness in."

"Why?" I asked quietly.

He looked at me, a sharp look in his eye. "What do you mean?"

"Why did you open the door to darkness?"

He snorted and looked away again. "I didn't know what I had. I was a spoiled, bored kid who wanted a more exciting life."

"You're still a kid," I pointed out.

He shifted his gaze to me. "But I'm not the _same_ kid." I could hear the edge in his tone – he wasn't happy with that remark.

"You sure about that?" I arched an eyebrow, pushing it.

"Positive," he said tersely.

"Don't forget it," I nodded.

His expression softened; he snorted and shook his head, looking down. "You're too good to me."

I shrugged. "It's not your fault I'm so badass."

He smiled faintly, still looking down. "I wish DiZ would just tell you this," he mumbled. "It sounds so demanding, coming from me…"

My eyes narrowed at him. "So you _were_ talking about me. What's the big secret?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, sitting down against the desk. He held one knee up towards his chest, stretching the other one out in front of him. "DiZ processed the data from your heart. That machine can track weaknesses and strengths, if you're open enough to the questions. He noticed that your heart was extremely sensitive to darkness, up until three days ago. Namely, the day we met." His pale skin turned a pinker shade as he focused on the floor in front of him. "When I tell you this, be sure to bear in mind that this is _his_ theory." He took a deep breath. "Sora and Kairi's hearts are connected. No matter where they are, they'll find their way back to each other. DiZ figures, if it's possible that Kairi could rest within him… It's possible that if our hearts were connected, you could've lent me your strength when I was fighting the darkness inside my heart."

I stared at him blankly. "So… You stole my strength against darkness?"

"Essentially, yes. But now that we're together, and I've built up a resistance of my own to it, you're getting it back."

"And our hearts are _connected_…"

"That's what he said."

I stared at my toes again. "That makes sense," I shrugged. "We have the same dreams, I only started withstanding darkness when I met you… And according to Naminé, I'm the only one who can make you crack a smile." This made him stare at me confusedly; I kept my eyes on my feet.

"When did she say _that_?" he said.

"Does it matter?" I arched an eyebrow at him. "As far as I can tell, it's true. You're always really serious with DiZ and Naminé." I paused. "How are we connected, if I've never met you before?"

"I really don't know."

"What does DiZ think?"

"He never mentioned it."

"Hm…"

Riku shifted towards me, close enough that he could rest his head against my leg. He looked sort of nervous. "What do you think?"

"My butt isn't numb anymore," I said.

"Miyuki…"

"I think you suck for borrowing my strength against darkness for so long. Don't think I won't charge interest."

He snorted and shook his head. "Why didn't I see that one coming?"

"You _will_ pay," I said ominously. "You're going to buy me stuff. Lots of stuff. Candy, and shiny things, and a pony."

He snorted. "What are you going to do with a _pony_?"

"That's not for you to question, Thief."

"Loan shark," he retorted.

"Pirate."

"Pirate?" His eyebrows knit.

"You've got an eyepatch thing going on. And sharks pester pirates."

"The eyepatch thing is _your_ fault, you know."

"Well the inability-to-move-in-the-dark-corridor thing is _your_ fault, so I don't want to hear it," I scoffed.

He smiled faintly. "Fair enough."

There was a pause. I bumped my shin against the side of his head. "So what the hell are we supposed to do when we're in our own worlds?"

The smile wavered, and I could tell it was fake when he forced it back in his expression. "Your heart'll have its strength back. Things will be even. You won't have to worry."

I pursed my lips. _It's not my strength I'm concerned about._ "Even," I echoed.

"Even," he nodded.

"But unfair."

"What do you mean?"

"If DiZ's theory is right, and our hearts are connected, we'll still have to find our way back to one another."

"So you think his theory's correct?"

My face got hot. "It makes sense to me."

"Me, too. I just didn't want you feeling like you're being pushed into something."

I snorted. "If I felt like I was being pushed, I would push back, believe me."

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips, and he laid his head against the desk. "I'm sorry I stole your strength."

"Don't worry about it. I'll make you pay one way or another," I grinned, bumping my shin against his head again.

"You worry me," he laughed softly.

"You mean I _scare_ you," I pursed my lips and narrowed my eyes at him.

He rolled his eyes. "Hardly."

"Then what's that bruise on your arm? And your neck? I bet you've still got that nasty bruise on your side."

"You _really_ want to start comparing bruises?"

"The worst bruise I have is on the back of my leg – and it's only as big as my thumb!" I hiked the sweatpants leg up to my knee and pointed to the back of my shin. "See? That was a lame counterattack."

"That 'lame counterattack' knocked you on your ass."

I grabbed his chin and pushed it up. "And who was doubled over for a good five minutes, trying to catch his breath from the strike to his throat? I see that bruise is still nice and purple."

"It is not," he scoffed.

"Yeah, it is," I laughed.

He glanced across the room. "It's late," he said quietly.

"Don't change the subject," I said.

"We need to rest," he said, smiling a little. He was serious, but might be persuaded to bum around the library with a little prying…

"Resting is for losers," was the first argument out of my mouth.

He stood up. "Nice try," he held his right hand out towards me. "Come on."

I gripped my hand around his and pulled myself to my feet. He dropped my hand, in my opinion, far too soon, and we walked side-by-side out the library and through the foyer. We stopped in front of my door, the only light coming from the moon shining through the window.

"Night," he said.

I wavered. _This is probably going to be so awkward… Really, really awkward… So it's probably wiser to…_ "Oh, screw it," I muttered, and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my ear against his chest.

_I… I can hear your heartbeat…_

He was frozen for what felt like a long moment, and just when I thought I'd better run into my room and hide under my covers until I died from embarrassment, his arms slid around my shoulders. He took a shaky breath, my head lifting as his lungs expanded. "Goodnight, Miyuki." His voice was just above a whisper, and was almost as shaken as his breathing.

"Goodnight," I mumbled into his shoulder.

Our arms untangled from one another – we stepped back – he smiled a little, his face going red. His eye was glistening with an expression I couldn't decipher. He tugged the blindfold down and stepped back towards his room – I opened my door. We laughed awkwardly as I stepped into my room and he disappeared down the hall.

I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

_This is a bad idea. We'll be in different worlds. It'd be so much better to just nip it in the bud and not go there._ I snorted. _Yeah, right. My head can tell me that all it wants – my heart still wants to be as close to his as possible._

* * *

**Okay, I normally don't do a spiel at the end of this stuff, but I thought some well-deserved thanks needed to be thrown out here to everyone who's reviewed lately.**

**THANK YOU! ****It makes my day every time someone posts a review. I had a fit of squee-ing the other morning. Best way to wake up EVER. So to ****The Misaki Sisters, PyroScorpion, Kanika Meskhenet, and stifledcreativity, YOU'RE MADE OF WIN. Thanks so much!**


	12. Chapter 12 Thud

_Dad wraps me in a hug, burying his face in my hair._

"_I'm so glad you made it out okay, kid."_

_I lock my arms around him, staining his shirt with tears. "It wasn't fair. I didn't want to leave you behind."_

"_You're alive. I'm so glad you made it out of there okay." He repeats it over and over, as if that's all that matters. "You're alright. You're safe. I'm so glad you're out of there." I can barely get a word in, and when I finally do, I speak slowly._

"_But how can I replace everything that was ours? I want to rebuild… I want to help… But how do I do that without feeling like I'm covering up all my memories of you?"_

"_I love you, kid. I'm so glad you're okay. You're safe. I'm so glad you're out of there."_

_We separate; he fades into the shadows around me._

"_I have to go to my world," I say to myself. "It's the only safe place I've ever had." _

_I poke myself on the forehead._

My eyes flit open to see Nemo sitting on my chest, pulling his hand back from my forehead. He squeaked and wrapped his arms around my neck, nuzzling his face against my cheek.

"You would," I grumbled. It wasn't a bad way to wake up, actually. Opening your eyes to a hug from something that'd been dedicatedly following you for the past few days was pretty nice. I sat up, Nemo sitting in my lap, staring up at me expectantly. I sniffed a couple times – I smelled something sweeter than the morning before, something that made me feel like I was at home. _So DiZ didn't sleep in!_ I hooked one arm around Nemo and jumped out of bed, stomping down the stairs to the kitchen in a groggy frenzy. DiZ and Naminé were sitting silently at the table, eating what was left of the pancakes on their plates. My shoulders slumped.

"I almost missed breakfast?" I said quietly. Nemo hooked his arms around my neck, dangling in front of me. I walked over to the counter and slapped some pancakes onto a plate.

"Riku didn't wake you?" Naminé said surprisedly.

"Was he _supposed_ to?" I said indignantly, sitting down next to her with my plate. _If he made me almost miss breakfast…!_

"Well, I thought since… Um…" She bit her lower lip.

I arched a confused eyebrow at her. "I must still be out of it."

"Sorry I didn't wake you," she said.

I shrugged. "It's okay. It's probably my fault for staying up so late last night."

Naminé stood up, took her plate and DiZ's to the sink and started cleaning everything up.

"You haven't said much," I said to DiZ.

"I had a late night, myself," he replied cooly, and stood up. "I'll be in the computer room, should you need me." He strode out, leaving me alone at the table while Naminé did the dishes.

"Why don't you leave those for me?" I said. "I've gone from helping hand to guest. Let me take care of those."

She smiled at me. "That's kind of you, but it's really no problem. Enjoy your breakfast."

I smiled a little, Nemo pulling himself onto my shoulders and drumming on the top of my head again. Naminé caught sight of this and giggled. "You have the weirdest habits," I mumbled to him.

I was about to ask where Riku was, when he walked in, rubbing the back of his neck. "I missed breakfast?"

"I saved you a plate," Naminé nodded towards the counter.

"Thanks." His voice was quiet and thick with sleep. He ran a hand over his face, pushing his bangs back. "We stayed up way too late last night," he said to me.

Naminé dropped a plate and the sudden racket made us jump. Nemo toppled off of my shoulders, stood up and hissed at Naminé.

"Are you okay?" I asked, wide-eyed.

"F-Fine," she said, going red in the face and busying herself with scrubbing a plate.

"What's up with her?" I muttered, and shoved another bite of pancake into my mouth, Nemo climbing back onto my shoulders.

After breakfast, trying in vain to convince Naminé to let me do dishes, and getting dressed in my freshly cleaned clothes (except my hoodie, which I left in my room), I met Riku in the courtyard once more.

"So what's the next lesson, Teach?" I asked. Nemo sat patiently by the door, watching intently.

"No more hand-to-hand," he said. "Every member in the Organization has a weapon. That means if you get hit, it'll be twice as difficult to bounce back from." He held out his right hand and a sword that resembled a black key materialized in it. "This is Oblivion. The keyblade used to shut the door to darkness from the inside."

"The keyblade _you_ used," I said.

"Correct. I don't have to remind you not to hold back—"

"Then don't."

_Aero._ Wind wrapped around me, creating a shield that, if nothing else, would slow the blow. Riku ran at me, pointing the tip of the key at me. _Firaga._ A ring of fire twisted around me, but he ran through it, swinging the blade at me. It had an uncomfortably long reach. I bent over and rammed myself into him. _Blizzara._ Ice wrapped around his torso as I stepped back – he charged me once more, swinging the blade down on my left shoulder before I could move. Nemo hissed. He was about to hit me with an upward stroke, when I leapt at him again, gripping his forearm with my right hand and his throat with my left. He pushed me away, but I stepped behind him, hooking my left arm around his throat. I twisted my left hand in his hair and punched him in the back.

"One spell and I win," I hissed.

"I surrender," he said.

I let go of him, my arm stinging so badly that I was tearing up – and particularly pissed at myself for it.

"I don't think you need me anymore," he said, rubbing the side of his head. "Damn. Guess you're not afraid to play dirty, huh?"

I swallowed, trying not to let tears slip. "Whatever's necessary, right?"

He wavered at that. "Let me see where I cut you."

"This is no time for gloating," I said.

"Shut up and let me see." He walked over, tugging up the blindfold over his right eye once more. I bent my head away so he could see more easily. "That was a deeper cut than I realized…"

"Glad to see you're not holding back, either," I said.

"Trust me, I could do _much_ worse."

"How many times must I remind you that _we are not trustworthy_?"

He snorted. "Maybe _you_ aren't…" He laid a hand over the wound. "Cura."

I rolled my eyes as a sort of warmth spread through my shoulder and arm. "_I_ could've done _that_."

"But then I would be the schmuck who nearly took off your arm and made you deal with it yourself," he smirked. "Besides, it's fun to play the hero sometimes."

I arched an eyebrow at him. "Backtracking to the whole sidekick spiel, are we?"

He smiled a little. "I would not _dare_." _You always smile just _so _slightly…_ "Uh… If you don't mind, I'd like to check on something."

"You don't need to ask my permission," I laughed a little, heading towards the mansion. "And I doubt Sora would like you calling him 'something' all the time…"

"No, he wouldn't," he snorted, rubbing the back of his neck and following suit.

"I'll go clean up… Then I'll probably just chill with DiZ," I said, grabbing Nemo and wrapping both arms around him. "Catch you later."

He nodded and headed towards the library – I headed to my bathroom.

Nemo sat on the side of the sink as I wiped blood off my shoulder.

"DiZ's theory is probably right," I said. "I mean, he's a scientist. He knows about this stuff. He's rational." I swallowed. "But I'll be leaving for my world when Sora restores. I've got to go take care of things – help people rebuild their lives. That's where I come from." Nemo nodded after every other word I spoke. "That's home, right?" He nodded slowly. "But if it's home, why don't I want to go back?" He jumped onto my shoulder – I staggered a little – and buried his face into my neck, purring. He turned and looked in the mirror. I stared blankly at the sight of a heartless sitting contentedly on my shoulder. "Nothing makes sense anymore," I grumbled, shutting off the light and walking out.

I stepped out of my room to see a black cloaked figure step out of Naminé's room – it was too small to be Riku. A chill ran down my spine and I ran towards them, grabbing them by the arm.

"And you would be?" I snapped.

They flipped their hood back with one hand. "X-Xion! What do _you_ want?"

I let go and buried my head in my hands. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she smiled. "Have a good day." She flipped her hood back up and strode down the stairs, out the entrance. I turned to Naminé's room and leaned against the doorway.

"So that was Xion?" I said.

"Yes. I should let DiZ know that she's made up her mind." She stood and walked out, and I followed after her.

"She's going to rebel, then?"

"…In a way. She's decided to force one of her friend's hands…" She was just barely paying attention to me.

My eyebrows knit. "Oh." _I don't understand, but I'll just wait until you explain it to DiZ to catch onto what's going on…_ We headed through the library and into the computer room, where DiZ sat and Riku stood.

"What did the puppet say?" DiZ said, not turning from the computer.

"She's going to fight the Organization until she's eliminated," she replied quietly.

He nodded. "As she should." One of the many screens hanging over the keyboard began flashing different colors – DiZ slapped a key and it disappeared.

"So she's going to force her friends to off her?" I mumbled, not sure if I really wanted to ask that question.

"No. A nobody has no heart to feel with, no friends to feel affection for. Nor can a nobody die – it simply becomes nothing instead of no one. Did you not know this?"

"Guess I forgot," I pursed my lips and rubbed the back of my neck. _Still… That's just wrong._ Riku rolled his head, cracking his neck, and walked out.

"Miyuki, would you be so kind as to fetch me a glass of water?"

"Sure," I said lightly, and Naminé and I walked out – her heading back to her room, me to the kitchen. There was a sort of stillness as I took a glass from the cupboard – of course, there had always been silence anywhere besides the computer room, where the soft hum of the computer droned on – but it was a sort of tense silence. Even Nemo wasn't making any noise.

_I keep thinking something's going to come up behind me and—_

I heard a thud overhead and jumped, staring up. I exchanged a glance with Nemo, who was unmoved. Another thud – and another – and another.

_That did not sound good…_

I filled DiZ's glass of water and, without spilling any of it, hurried to him to see if he could check what if anything was wrong in Naminé's room.

"I just heard something crash three times upstairs," I said worriedly. "Do you think—?"

"You heard this in the kitchen?" he said cooly, sipping his water, not taking his eyes from the computer screen.

"Yeah."

"That'd be Riku's quarters."

"Has something happened? Don't you monitor the mansion with this? Can you check?"

"I doubt it; I don't monitor _anyone's_ bedroom; and if you'd like to check, go see for yourself. Though if something _has_ happened, I'm certain Riku can handle it himself."

_Someone's edgy today…_ "Yes, sir," I said quietly, and slid up to the library quickly. Nemo, who was becoming exhausted from running up and down so many stairs with his stubby little legs, was now clutching my right ankle, dragging across the floor.

"You little drama queen," I muttered, stopping at the edge of the stairs and scooping him into my arms. I started up the stairway and paused at Riku's bedroom door. _This shouldn't be awkward, right? Right. Nothing awkward about making sure a friend's okay._ Just as I raised my hand to knock on his door, there was another loud thud. I exhaled sharply and rapped my knuckles on the door twice, hard.

"Yeah," his voice came from inside. "Come in."

I opened the door a little and poked my head in. "Um. You okay?"

He sat on the dresser sitting at the end of his bed, leaning over in the typical black shirt and jeans. His coat was wadded up onto his bed, whose covers were twisted in a wreck. "Define 'okay'," he growled.

_You can cut the tension with a knife…_ "You're alive? All your blood is inside you?" I stepped in all the way, hooking my thumbs in my pockets. I looked at the wall beside the dressed – there was a hole about the size of my head, about as high as of my shoulder. "Did you punch a hole in the wall?" My eyebrows popped up.

He snorted. "Yes."

I walked over and stood next to him. He was cradling his head in his hands, his fingers pushing back random strands of hair. "Wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay. I stubbed my toe in my sleep last night."

There was a pause. He lifted his head – I was disappointed to see he was wearing the blindfold. "_What_?" he said.

"I stubbed my toe in my sleep last night," I repeated. "And before you ask, 'Well, Miyuki, how does one manage to stub their toe in their sleep?' I'll tell you that I have no idea how, especially see as how there's nothing to stub your toe on when you're sleeping." I paused. "Unless of course you're sleeping with someone. But I've just got a heartless with a weird attitude and a desire to play drums on my head when I eat." I paused again, and this time he filled the silence.

"If I tell you what's wrong, will you stop rambling about that stupid heartless?" he said.

"I might."

"_Everything_ would be different if I hadn't been such an idiot. _Everything_."

"Scoot over," I nudged him with my elbow and he slid to his right. I sat next to him and let him continue.

"It's not right," he swallowed. "It's not fair. They shouldn't have created her. Roxas, Naminé – none of them should've had to go through this. _I_ opened the door to darkness and _I_ fucked everyone over."

"You also shut the door to darkness," I said.

"Yeah, after jacking up Sora's life, and Kairi's, and mine. Why would he _ever_ be friends with me again? _I_ wouldn't."

"Shut the fuck up," I slammed my elbow into his arm. "Don't you _ever_ question your friends. You're their brother, and they're not giving you up for anything. You _know_ that."

His face went red. "Yeah, I do. But I screwed _everything_ up." He shook his head. "And it's taking so damn long to fix it…"

"But it'll get fixed. Everything happens for a reason – even our own stupidity."

"You'd make a decent fortune cookie," he said quietly.

"You know I'm right – and yes, I share many qualities with enigmatic baked goods, tastiness being one of them."

"Half-baked being another…" he smirked.

"Incorrect – I'm the most hardcore fortune cookie you'll ever meet."

"I believe it." He shook his head, a small smile growing on his face. He paused. "Thanks, Miyuki."

I smiled. "Anytime." I nudged my shoulder against his. "You're pretty hardcore, yourself."

"Oh, great. Now we're _both_ crusty fortune cookies."

"Crusty is just a fancy word for awesome."

He snorted and laugh softly. "You are _so_ full of it."

"Crustiness? Thank you."

"I meant shit, but okay."

"Ouch, Riku. Ouch," I said in mock offense. "That one burnt."

"I just made you crustier," he replied.

"Now who's full of shit?" I snorted.


	13. Chapter 13 Breaking

**To everyone who reviewed: I LOVE YOU.**

* * *

I had my fingers wrapped around Nemo's little black hands, stepping in circles as he stood on my feet. Dancing – awkward, music-less, simple dancing, but dancing nonetheless. I stood in the middle of the library, the only light coming from the desklamp.

It was becoming a habit to hash things out to my nodding disciple. Riku was taking a shower, Naminé was working harder than ever on piecing Sora's memory back together, and DiZ was in the computer room again, for reasons I didn't dare ask.

"It's like I'm standing in the middle of chaos, trying to pick out a reason to stand there," I said. "Not that I don't _like _standing there, I just don't know exactly _why_ I am. It seems like the dreams of my parents keep getting more… intense." I paused. "I didn't like what DiZ said about the Nobodies… He acted so indifferent. I mean, technically they don't have hearts, but they remember what it's like to feel… So they _do_ have feelings… And who are we to decide what makes feelings _real_?" I sighed. "But as far as Roxas and Xion and Naminé… I can understand having to distance yourself from relating to them. You've got to send them back to their somebodies, right?" Nemo nodded. I swallowed. "Still… If I was Xion…"

I spun to my right and froze when I saw Riku walking in.

"Er… Hi," I said.

"Hey," he said. "Don't mind me." He walked right to the bookcase door and disappeared down the steps before I could reply. My eyebrows raised as the door shut.

"I'm guessing he isn't running away because we were dancing," I said, looking at Nemo, who staring up at me expectantly and quickly nodded. "But you don't care. You just want me to spin some more." He nodded. I shrugged. "That works." I spun some more, keeping my thoughts to myself, just in case someone else would wander over and hear them. Not that I had anything to hide – I just didn't want to say something insensitive. Heart or none, I didn't want to hurt Naminé's feelings, should she overhear my words.

I cast a glance at the bookcase door as I spun. _I wonder what that was all about… I hope everything's alright. …Well, I'm sure if something's wrong, we're perfectly capable of taking care of it. I mean, we've got a kid's memory running through all kinds of different people's brains, and we're taking care of _that_, so… Ha. Listen to me. I'm talking like I'm right there, typing at a computer along with DiZ, or coloring Sora's memories in, myself. _I rolled my eyes at myself. _I'm more like Alfred than Robin, when it comes to crime-fighting. I'm there, but I'm not directly involved…_ I sighed again. _So… between DiZ and Riku… Who's Batman and who's Robin?_ I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of DiZ wearing a pointed mask and Riku in green briefs.

I was about to stop spinning – what with giggling and holding Nemo, I was about to lose my balance; a dangerous idea – when I heard shouting from below. I could tell it was Riku whose voice was raised, but I couldn't tell what he was saying. I stopped spinning, tugging Nemo to my side so that I could stand properly, and listened anxiously. It'd suddenly become very tense in the library.

_What's wrong? Is Sora alright? Is Naminé? Roxas? What happened?_ My head was swimming with horrible ideas, and I scooped Nemo into my arms, clutching him to my chest. _Is he just throwing a temper tantrum? What's going on?_

After what felt like an eternity, the bookcase finally parted from the wall and slid aside, Riku storming up out of the computer room. He wasn't wearing the Organization's coat, just the typical black tshirt and jeans – I could see his fists clenched and his entire arm tensed at his side. As much dread as I felt, I wished the blindfold had been pushed up at one side, so I could see whether he was sad or angry – and, honestly, I just wanted to see his eyes again.

"What happened?" I breathed.

"Let go of the heartless," he growled.

I meant to – I really did – but my arms weren't cooperating.

"Miyuki, _please_. Put the damned thing down." His voice cracked.

I lowered Nemo to the floor, never taking my eyes from Riku. "Tell me what happened," I said, my voice stronger now. "What went wrong?"

"I went wrong."

My eyebrows knit. "So… all that yelling at DiZ… you were just throwing a _temper tantrum_?"

He exhaled sharply. "You don't get it."

"Then explain it to me. This isn't just about your regrets, is it? You need a _serious_ reality check if—"

"_No_. It's not about past issues, it's about current ones," he snapped.

I took a deep breath, calming myself down a bit. "Alright," I said slowly. "What's happened that's made you suddenly more pissed than you were this afternoon?"

"I stole your strength, right?" he said tensely. "I stole part of your heart, part of it's strength. However the hell I did that, I did. I used it to keep myself alive amidst darkness, and now you're getting it back. But there are still stains – stains on my heart, and stains on the strength you're getting back."

I paused. "So?"

"Are you _listening_? Darkness is resting in your heart now, Miyuki. Darkness you never had to fight against – darkness stronger than you've ever encountered. And _I put it there_. The idiot shadow sensed it before any of the others. That's why it follows you wherever you go."

My throat ran dry – my eyes drifted, staring blankly past him. I honestly could not piece together a sentence, not even in my head.

Riku swallowed hard. "It'd be wise to stay away from darkness as much as you possibly can," he said softly. "And it'd be wise to stay away from _me_ as much as you can." He walked out, slamming the library door behind him as he left, making me jump.

I stood there in a stupor, feeling like I'd just been sucker-punched in the chest. My heart was pounding in my ears, and my eyes were watering. Nemo tugged on my hand and I looked at him, swallowing hard.

"You only want me for the darkness in my heart," I whispered.

_But that makes sense, doesn't it? He never liked me for myself. He either liked me because I reminded him of someone else, or, as it's just been explained, because I have dark power._

Tears slid out. I felt incredibly stupid.

"So I walked around calling you by name, and letting you snuggle against me…" My voice was hushed and cracked as I hissed at it. "…And I let myself think you actually liked me for me, like you're a real person…"

_And the only real person I really like, and have some faith in, just told me to go away._

I swallowed hard again. Nemo leapt at me and wrapped his arms around me, snuggling his face against my neck. I wiped my eyes quickly and stood there stiffly, staring down at the black mass engulfing me.

_This isn't right. None of this is right._

I felt a chill run up my spine.

_I have dreams about him _every night_. I followed him into the dark corridor when I had no idea what it was, or if I would even get out of there alive. I listen to him rant about his past all the time. He trained me, he listened to me, and he fucking held me. There's no way… There's just no way…_

Nemo dropped to the floor as I ran out the library into the foyer. The sunset was setting the sky on fire, lighting the foyer and hallways in a warm glow. Riku was just entering the hallway from the top of the stairs, still in plain sight.

"You think _running away from you_ is the right answer?" I shouted at him, stomping up the steps.

He turned and shook his head. "You have no idea what it's like to be so lost in darkness that you forget who you are. Or to know you could kill the ones you love just as easily as you could save them, and you're not _quite_ sure if you're about to do one or the other."

"If you want me gone because you don't like being connected to me, you tell me _right _now!"

"If I didn't like you, Miyuki, would I have wrapped my arms around you? You _need_ to leave—"

I was now standing ten feet from him, on level flooring. "I don't want to hear some spiel about my safety."

"I don't want your heart getting swallowed by darkness like mine was."

"What, so you're strong enough to take it on, but I'm not?" I scoffed.

"I built up a tolerance to it – you're just getting it forced on you. You can't let that happen."

"It's _always_ been forced on me! I've never even had a chance to _build up a tolerance_!"

"You can't risk your life just so you can contribute to a cause that's already fine on its own!"

"So I should just sit around and do nothing? And I'm not sure if you remember this, but you had to steal strength from me to take on darkness yourself, Mr. Hero!"

"Yeah, and how can you steal strength from someone who's already poisoned with what you're fighting against?"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"Yes it does! You have no clue what it's like to fight darkness inside yourself."

"I know darkness perfectly well! You know my history, you should know that!"

"Watching Daddy die from a distance is _hardly_ learning it inside out!"

I walked over to him in two long strides, pulled my fist back, and slammed it into his nose. He stepped away and held his face in one hand, blood seeping down the front of him.

"Don't you ever talk about my father," I said, and walked down the stairs.

"Don't forget your hoodie!" he snapped.

"Keep it – burn it – use your darkness to send it to my _dead Daddy_. I don't give a fuck!" I shouted, slamming the door open and stomping towards the gates.

Nemo waddled through the door after me, and when he reached me, I turned and punted him across the courtyard. I turned and headed back out the gates, tears streaming down my face.


	14. Chapter 14 Rain

**Thank you for being so patient! :D**

* * *

I felt a tad schizophrenic, stomping through the town square and muttering to myself.

"Doesn't even make sense. He's so stupid. Of course I've got darkness in my heart. Everyone does. That doesn't mean we run away from people with more darkness than others. It _definitely_ doesn't mean we go around slapping it in people's faces that their dad died and they couldn't do anything about it. I wonder if he's sorry? He better be sorry. I'll _make_ him sorry. …No. No I won't. If he doesn't feel sorry on his own, it's not worth it. What an asshole. I just wanna punch him in his stupid face again."

The sun was setting deeper behind the horizon – soon, the plazas would be barely lit, and the alleys nearly completely black. Not caring for the idea of some psycho pervert feeling me up in a dark alley, I wandered to a well-lit, open area – the station plaza.

I halted at what I saw and hid myself behind a pillar of the archway.

In the Organization's robes, Roxas knelt in the middle of the plaza, Xion laying limply across his lap – and from Xion, what looked like thin shards of glass were gliding upwards. Her feet looked frozen, though I was sure it wasn't from a blizzard spell.

"You're both my best friends. Never forget… That's the truth." She cradles his face with one hand, and after a brief moment, her hands slips. He catches it in his own, more pieces of her shaking off and slipping to the sky.

"No!" he cries, his voice cracking. "Xion… Who else will I have ice cream with?"

Her entire body is crystalized. _She's giving herself back to Sora._ She shatters into shimmering pieces of light, drifting away from Roxas. Something small sits where she used to be – Roxas picks it up.

"…Xion…" Tears slide down his face.

I cover my mouth and step away.

_That's… They were friends. She did nothing to deserve that, and neither did he._

My heart was pounding in my ears – I couldn't catch my breath.

_Who gives a shit about having a heart? They have feelings, whether it makes sense or not! Everyone has feelings! Even no one!_

I want to step out – offer a hug, a tissue, _anything_ – but I knew it wouldn't make a difference. Another friend would just add to the pain, and a kind word wasn't enough to make it worth it.

I stepped away from the plaza, Roxas wiping his face on his sleeve, oblivious to my presence. I turned and ran down the street, eyes blurred by my own stupid tears. I kept thinking I saw a black hooded figure in my peripheral vision, but ignored it. It was probably my imagination, and even if it wasn't, I didn't care to talk to anyone who wore that coat right now.

I stopped in the sandlot, standing in the corner, trying to stop myself from crying.

"It's not fair," I hissed in a cracked voice, talking to myself. "That shouldn't have happened. It's _wrong_."

I wiped my face as best as I could, but bare hands didn't make very good tissues.

_I'm an idiot. Of course it's _wrong_! Did I think it'd be all sunshine and rainbows when Xion died?_

_I just can't stop thinking; What if that was me? What if I had to hurt my friends and attack them, so that they could hurt me and kill me, then watch me die?_

_Not that I have any friends. The only friend I've ever really had just made some dumbass remark about my dead father and I punched him in the nose._ I shuddered. _I should go back to the mansion. It's not fair to leave based on one stupid statement. Everyone says horrible things._ I swallowed. _Besides, he thinks I _should_ be gone and "safe". If I really want revenge, I should stalk him._

I sat down on the bench, slowly tugging myself back to relative sanity. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something move – I turned to see a shadow waddling towards me.

"N-Nemo?" I stammered, wide-eyed. He nodded and leapt at me, wrapping his arms around my neck. I laughed softly, a last batch of tears welling up in my eyes. "I guess you forgive me, huh?" _Even if he likes me for the wrong reasons, he's pretty freaking dedicated. I can't help but like him._ I wrapped my arms around him and leaned my head on his. "You are so sweet," I mumbled, closing my eyes. I took a deep breath. _But, oh, I wish you were Riku right now…_

Nemo untangled himself from me and I stood up, holding his hand in mine.

"It's getting late," I said, smiling at him. "We should go home." _Whether Riku likes it or not._

By the time I reached the door of the mansion again, it was completely dark. Rain clouds were moving in, covering the moon, threatening to pour on Nemo's and my head at any moment. A short peal of thunder rumbled across the sky as I opened the door and walked upstairs, to my room.

_I wonder if he's told DiZ and Naminé that I'm gone? Oh, well. If he has, I'll just explain that I was blowing off steam._

Which, really, was the real reason I left – I wanted to get away from him and vent somewhere I wouldn't be bothered. I washed my hands, didn't bother to change into the clothes Riku had forgotten to take back, and after taking off my shoes, slid into bed.

I laid there, silently staring at the ceiling, trying to clear my head of the bitter thoughts surrounding what I saw of Roxas and Xion.

_I'll think of something else… I'll think of… of fighting my darkside. That was kind of cool, actually. My darkside doesn't look half bad, for a heartless. It had a weird scream though. I wish it didn't have vocal cords._ There was a sudden, loud crack of thunder, startling me to the point that I sat up. I stared across the room at my window, which was being pelted with rain. Nemo waddled over to the window, grabbed the sill (which was a bit high for him) and stood on his tiptoes, peeking outside.

"What's the situation?" I whispered with mock-seriousness.

There was a bolt of lightning – natural, blue-white lightning that doesn't come from spells – and Nemo scrambled back over to me, gripping my arm in both of his. Another bolt of lightning lit up the room, and I looked over to see Riku standing in the doorway, arms crossed.

"Miyuki," he said scoldingly.

"Riku," I replied in the same tone, glaring at him.

"Are you _this_ ridiculous?" he hissed, walking towards me.

"You're the one who's staring at me from my bedroom door until I notice you," I snapped. "Get out of my room, creeper!"

"No, _you_ get out of _the_ room. Nothing in the mansion is yours."

I snorted. "What about that thing in your chest? I thought we agreed we're _connected_." He just stood there, three feet from my bed. I realized the awkwardness of laying in bed while talking to him, and stood up quickly. "Just because you throw in comments about my parents, doesn't mean I'm going to let you win the argument."

"There's no argument!"

"Fine then, discussion."

"No _discussion_. You have to leave!"

"No! I'm not leaving. Firstly because you're the best friend I have. Secondly because I'm _not scared_ of you and your stupid darkness. Thirdly because, when you fought the darkness in _your_ heart, what good did it do you to run away from it?"

"You don't know what you're up against," he said, and I could hear my logic weakening his argument.

"Neither did you," I replied.

He clenched his jaw. "Fine. Whatever. I don't care." He turned and headed for the door. I gripped his shoulder and he stopped.

"Really mature," I said sarcastically.

"Let go of me. I'm tired," he turned halfway towards me, his tone unemotional.

"You're pissed, and I want to know why."

"You know why. I've told you thousands of times."

"It's not like being around you is going to _kill_ me, Riku. If anything else, you have to be around so that, _if_ the darkness spreads, I can bum some strength off of your heart so I can beat the stains you got on me."

"Distance has nothing to do with borrowing strength, and you know that," he snorted.

"I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me what's got you so ticked! I'm going to be fine, so—"

"It's going to haunt you, Miyuki," he snapped. "You have no idea the hell you'll go through if that darkness spreads."

"Hello? I've been through several hells already, remember?"

"So why go through another?" He shook his head. "Know what? I'm done. Goodnight."

I hung onto his arm with one hand and followed him out of my room. "Nice try. I already told you, I'm going to stalk you until you spill the beans."

He rolled his eyes so dramatically I saw his head move and he spun around to face me. "You're making the _wrong decision_. You need to go find a safe place to stay, away from darkness, until you can go home."

"What place is safe when the darkness in _inside_ me now, Riku? Darkness will always find its way to lurk somewhere – maybe harmlessly, but still there. I'll run into it again and it'll spread. There _is_ no escaping it."

"Are you not getting this? You may not be totally safe anywhere, but you're risking your entire _life_ hanging around someone who's heart is drenched in darkness! We'll be separated permanently soon enough, anyway. Just wait somewhere safe until you can go home."

"_That's not home_!" I shouted, dropping my hand from his arm. I reached towards his face – he flinched – when he held still, I tugged one side of the blindfold up and looked him in the eye. I spoke quietly, but clearly, staring at that eye intently. "If it was home, I'd want to go, wouldn't I? I'd feel some attachment. But I _don't_. That world is not my home."

He started to say something, but shut his mouth again, dropping his gaze from mine.

"I don't feel comfortable anywhere, except for here. Because you're here." I bit on my lower lip. _I had to say that, didn't I? I just _had_ to make it awkward. Crap, it's all so jacked up…_ I stared at my feet, considering how long it would take for them to listen to me and actually take me back to my room. There was a long peal of thunder.

"I screwed you over," he said quietly. "I screwed you over the moment I met you. I'm sick of myself, and I don't want you being effected by my issues anymore."

I exhaled sharply in relief. _That response is _so _much better than what I expected._ "It's not like the problems we have are doing me serious damage. I feel awful for you, because it's an awful situation. It's not like I was in a perfect little bubble of happiness to begin with, either." He looked back up at me and we stared at each other through a long pause, the thunder steadily rolling in the distance as rain beat against the mansion.

"So… Are you mad at me for staying here?" I said quietly.

"I'm not mad at you. Myself, quite a bit. But not you."

I nodded slowly, biting my lower lip. I took a step forward, leaned up and hooked my arms around his neck, resting my head on his shoulder. He inhaled sharply, his shoulders tensing. "Good, 'cause I don't want to leave," I mumbled.

"Miyuki…" he whispered. "I am _so_ sorry. I never should've said…"

"You talking like I haven't forgiven you," I snorted, my face going red. I felt awkward, keeping myself close with no response, and was trying to figure out how to run into my room inconspicuously, when his arms pressed against my back.

"I… I'll never talk about your dad, okay?" he said quietly.

I exhaled. "You know that's a promise you can't keep. I'll piss you off again and neither of us will think about what we're—"

"I won't," he said decidedly.

I smiled. _You're such a little kid sometimes…_

I hung there a long moment, my cynical side expecting him to push me off and politely tell me he wasn't interested. But I could feel his heartbeat against mine – I could feel his hair brush against my neck – his hands resting lightly on my back. My cynical side insisted it was a stupid hug – the rest of me said I was being held.

We sort of mutually shifted away from one another, and I gripped my left arm with my right hand, stepping back towards my door.

"I… er…" I shook my head and my eyebrows knit, frustrated at my lack of casualness. "Night."

He smiled faintly. "Goodnight."

Thunder cracked and I walked back into my room, laying on my bed and continuing to stare at the ceiling. Nemo snuggled against my side.

_I told him this was home because he was here… He said he'd never talk about my dad again…_

I hoped desperately that what just happened hadn't been a dream.


	15. Chapter 15 Gold Eyes

_My hair is the same color as my Mother's – chocolate brown – and almost down to my hips. It's been a month since I arrived in Traverse Town._

"_Miyuki! Did you take one of my daggers?"_

_I can see in the bathroom mirror that my eyes are wider than dinner plates. I try to hide the dagger in a towel on the shelf, but Yuffie's already staring at me through the bathroom door._

"_What… Did you…?" Her mouth slides open. "You cut your hair?"_

"_I couldn't find scissors… And if I asked Cid, he'd ask why I wanted them…"_

"_Why couldn't you tell us? We'd help you. Aerith loves your hair. She'd have been so excited to help you with it."_

"_She likes my hair so much, I didn't want her to know."_

"_Well, she was going to find out anyway! Look at you! It's kind of noticeable!"_

_My eyes water. "I don't want to look like my mom!"_

_She stares blankly at me for a long time before moving again. "Let me even up the sides, okay?"_

_She steps behind me and suddenly, the bathroom melts away. I'm standing on a seashore – I saw it the first time I met Riku. He spoke to Xion while I sat against that wall of rock._

_But now I'm on the shore, staring at the ocean. It stretches out to the horizon, hiding everything on the other side of it. I feel water brush over my feet – I'm barefoot, my pants rolled up my knee. The sun is warm and inviting, the ocean breeze keeping the atmosphere at the most comfortable temperature I've ever felt._

_He's not wearing that coat – just a black tank top that zipped at the collar, and blue jeans. He's got my hoodie in one hand. There's no blindfold, but he keeps his eyes low as we stand next to one another, facing this seemingly endless ocean._

"_You don't mind my being here, right?" I ask._

_His smile is about the only thing his hair isn't hiding as he stares at his feet. "Are you kidding? This is the best dream I've had in a while. Only two things are missing." He sits down in the sand, stretching one leg out ahead of him while the other knee is bent up, propping up his arm._

"_Sora and Kairi," I mumble._

_He nods. "This is just a replica of my home."_

"_Home," I echo. "This would be a nice place to live."_

_He nodded. "I don't know why I didn't see that sooner."_

"_Don't forget, okay?" I look over at him, crossing my arms. I feel a chill run up my spine._

_He still doesn't meet my eyes. "What?"_

"_Just promise you won't forget who I am." The breeze turns colder, and I shudder._

"_I couldn't forget you if I tried," he snorted, smiling up at me and finally making eye contact. "I promise." _

_I start at the expression on his face – it's not the smile I'm familiar with. Not the faint smile that seems to recollect his true disposition. It's more cruel, more malicious. His eyes aren't that bright teal, either – they're yellow, bright yellow. He stands up quickly, grabs my throat and flashes to the path by the rock wall, slamming me against it._

"_Goodnight, Miyuki."_

_My head is bleeding and I grab his hand with both of mine. I feel cold – absolutely frozen. The golden eyes flicker and blur – as if he's a watercolor and someone's wiped water across his eyes. His mouth moves as if he's trying to explain something – I can't breathe, I can't hear, my head swims—_

My eyes open to a black room. I'm freezing cold, sweat dripping from every pore. I sit up and rub my arms, trying to warm myself. Nemo's snuggled tight against me. I throw my legs over the side of the bed and walk out the door, Nemo waddling after me a few feet behind. It was eerily quiet – the storm has passed through, and no one was awake but me.

I carefully stepped down to the kitchen, filling a glass of water and sitting up on the counter next to the sink. I took a paper towel from the roll behind me and wiped my forehead.

"_Goodnight, Miyuki." That wasn't his voice._

I sipped on my water. _Why was the breeze suddenly so freezing? Why were his eyes gold? Why was I concerned about him forgetting who I am?_

"Hey, Riku," I said as he entered the kitchen, blindfold over both eyes. "Late shower?"

I had to admit, if ever I was lucky to be woken up in the middle of the night, it was now. He had black sweatpants and no shirt, his hair sopping wet and clinging to his face and shoulders. He looked surprised to see me when he walked in, and his face went red.

"Hi," he said slowly.

"Hi," I snorted.

"Don't tell me… You dreamt I throttled you?" he said pessimistically.

I spoke with mock-disbelief. "Wait. You dreamt that you _throttled_ me?"

"Oh, shi—"

"I'm kidding," I smirked.

"…You're messed up."

"I needed to cheer myself up _somehow_. That was a seriously disturbing dream."

"Just so we're clear, I would _never_ do that to you." He walked to the sink and got some water, himself. He turned and leaned against the counter, taking a sip. "That was Xehanort."

"He's in your _dreams_ now?" I said, mouth hanging open slightly.

"You mean 'our' dreams, and apparently so." He snorted. "Things just keep getting better for us."

"It's a good thing we're amazing."

He smiled faintly. "Oh, yes. Our sheer amazingness will rid our dreams of Xehanort." There was a pause, and the smile slowly slipped from his expression. "I'm sorry I'm letting him into—"

I flicked him in the ear. "Don't apologize for things out of your control."

He turned to me with an arched eyebrow. "Of all the violent actions you could've taken, that was not what I expected."

I grinned. "Thanks."

"But I _do_ apologize for—" I rolled my eyes, cupped a little bit of water in my hand and splashed it in his face. He snorted and did the same to me. I pinched his nose.

"_Hey_! That's still sore!" He tugged on a lock of my hair. I tugged on his hair back. He slapped me upside the head. I kicked him in the side of his leg and lost balance, stumbling onto one foot on the kitchen floor. He grabbed my arm, trying to help me keep balanced – only he tugged me towards him when he did so and I accidentally elbowed him in the ribs and stepped on his foot.

He backed away, pulling his foot up and rubbing his toe.

"Oops," I said emotionlessly. I wasn't really sorry; I just hadn't intended to squash his toes and jab him in the side.

"Maybe we should go back to bed," he said. "I see my abs have impaired your judgement to the point of imbalance."

My face went red, but I raised my eyebrows at him. "I see I have once more delivered a blow that makes you want to quit playing."

"I think I like my ability better."

I laughed. "Sissy!"

"Pervert."

"You're the one who can't stop talking about his own body."

"That's called pride."

"So you're proud of being a sissy?"

He laughed softly, shaking his head. "We really do need to go back to bed."

An idea struck me. "Are there any pens around here?" I said.

"…What?"

"Pens. For writing."

His voice was wary. "On _what_…?"

I opened a few drawers before I found one with a pen in it. "AHA." I grabbed it, uncapped it, and walked over to Riku. "Stand up straight."

"What are you about to—?"

I grabbed his shoulder and pulled it up, pushing him back and bending down to the brown spot where I'd elbowed him.

"Are you _writing_ on me?"

"Hold still, huh?" I snapped. The ink wasn't coming out. I scribbled on his skin a little.

"Are you trying to give me ink poisoning? Stop—that tickles!" He slapped the top of my head.

"Suck it up!" The pen finally started working properly, and I mumbled the words as I wrote them. "This… damage… inflicted… by… Miyuki." I stood upright. "Ha. There."

"What's that for?"

"This was an artful attack. A good artist always signs her work." I capped the pen and returned it to the drawer.

"You call tripping over your own feet 'artful'?" he snorted.

"You only _think_ I was tripping over my own feet," I said.

"Oh, right. My mistake," he shook his head, smiling faintly at the nonsense. "We really should go back to bed."

I poked the words above the bruise. "This is so that, whether you look like yourself or Xehanort, you'll remember…" I tugged up one side of the blindfold, smiling at the familiar bright teal eye. "…it's Riku's heart in there." I let the blindfold flop back down and headed out the door. "G'Night!"

"'Night, Miyuki." His voice was distant as I exited the kitchen, throwing one last smile back at him.

The morning came quickly, and when I woke up I couldn't remember my dream – I only knew it was extremely hectic and there was something about eating teriyaki shrimp. Breakfast was uneventful – unless Naminé staring at me and Riku the entire time counts as interesting. The day passed slowly – I read, danced with Nemo a bit, and generally killed time until Riku came back from getting more bacon for DiZ. I would've asked DiZ if I could go along, but he was so engrossed in a computer spiel I thought I'd better not bother him. When Riku got back, he wanted to check in on Sora, so I took to cleaning up a bit.

"I finished dusting. Want me to sweep up down here?" I asked DiZ quickly.

"There may be more pressing matters at hand." He sat back in his seat, crossing his arms at the screen.

My eyebrows knit. "Such as…?" _Does this mean I'll actually be _doing_ something to help the cause?_

He sighed. "It is quite the tedious process." I nodded slowly, but said nothing. I wasn't entirely sure what he was referring to. "I suppose there's nothing else to be done."

He stood and walked to the wall on my left. I watched curiously. _What's he going to do with a blank wall…?_

He tapped something on the left side of the wall and it parted from the middle, bright white lights shining through. He walked in, hands folded behind his back. My eyes adjusted and I saw a large white pod sitting in the middle of the white room. _Very insane-asylum-esque…_

I stood in the doorway and watched from a distance. Naminé stood by the pod, Riku a few feet from her, turning to face DiZ as he spoke.

"Sora…" Naminé mumbled.

"It appears we've come to a standstill," DiZ said in his usual grand manner.

"Yes," she said, barely above a whisper.

"This has gone on long enough. Riku…" He turned to him. "I think you know what needs to be done."

"Right," Riku said. "C'mon, Miyuki." I could tell he shot me a look through his blindfold before opening a dark corridor and stepping into it.

I ran over to the corridor, hesitating at the foot of it. "Er, bye," I said to DiZ and Naminé. He nodded; she smiled faintly and waved.

* * *

**Have I mentioned that all my reviewers are crusty(awesome)? REALLY crusty? REALLY REALLY REALLY FREAKING CRUSTY? ...I have? Oh.**


	16. Chapter 16 Skyscraper

I stepped into the dark corridor – it felt like cold air was wrapping itself around me, sending chills up my spine over and over. I kept walking forward, and finally came to that tunnel of swirling colors, a familiar figure standing in the middle of it.

"At the risk of sounding completely ignorant, what exactly are we doing?" I asked.

He exhaled. "We're bringing Roxas back to the mansion so we can put him in the replica town."

"I'm guessing he's going to put up a fight."

"…Miyuki, can you do me a favor?"

My eyes narrowed. "Depends how kinky it is."

He ignored that. "Please, let me fight Roxas alone. DiZ wanted you to help, and it'll just start an unnecessary argument if you go back now. But this… It's the other half of Sora…" His voice was strained.

I shrugged. "So you just want me to stand around and watch?"

"Well, I'd appreciate it if, should the problem somehow arise, you keep me from dying…"

I snorted. "Gee, I dunno if I could handle saving you…" I said sarcastically.

"A little effort is all I ask," he smirked. "Thank you."

"Anytime," I shrugged, and we headed to the other side of the corridor.

After the general chill of stepping through darkness, we stepped onto the roof of a skyscraper. Everything was dark aside from the glow of neon signs and windows of buildings I was almost certain were not occupied. Rain poured on our heads – I zipped my hoodie and pulled up my hood.

Riku and I stood on the edge of the building, looking down at the cloaked figure grappling with heartless. Two keyblades were in his hands – the black keyblade Riku used, and a pale blue and yellow keyblade in the other. Suddenly the figure looked up – I stood to the side, out of the light; Riku stood steadfast on the edge, fists clenched.

_That's Roxas._

Just as I thought this, Roxas leapt onto the awning of the building, propelling himself forward and running up the side. He threw the black keyblade up at Riku, assuming he'd be cut by it. Riku dove off the edge of the skyscraper, gripping the handle of the keyblade. My head throbbed with sharp pain – images of a girl with black hair in the hall of the mansion, and laying on Roxas' lap in the Station Plaza, flashed through my mind, shifting and blurring. The more I tried to remember, the more my head ached, the less I remembered. I focused on the two once more, watching as they passed each other, a sort of awkward recognition being exchanged. Riku dove down to the ground, landing in the middle of the neoshadows Roxas had just left behind.

Roxas rose over the edge of the building, landing swiftly and turning to glare down at Riku. He leapt down again.

_A little indecisive, aren't we? Let's pick a spot to play and just stay there, alright?_

I watched as Riku placed a hand on his forehead, leaning forward slightly.

_This… weird thing about that girl with black hair… Is it happening to you, too? Or are you just hurt? I'd better get down there, just in case…Ugh. Here goes nothing._

I stood at the corner of the skyscraper and stepped off casually.

_I. Hate. Heights._

Feet spread apart, knees bent incredibly, I hit the ground, splashing in a puddle and making more of a commotion than I'd intended. I stood at the side of the stairs leading into the skyscraper everyone'd been bouncing off of, in the shadows, watching the scene play out before me.

The heartless were gone; the two teenagers had turned to face each other and leapt apart. Now they were fighting. Roxas dove at him, bringing his keyblade down towards Riku's head – Riku moved and cut through Roxas' side. Roxas turned and caught Riku's shoulder. It was getting difficult to follow their actions, considering their clothes and surroundings were black. I leaned against the statue at the side of the stairs, keeping myself well-hidden. I crossed my arms. _If ever there was a time for popcorn…_

Before I knew what was happening, Riku was on his butt and Roxas was staring down at him.

"Why? _Why_ do you have a keyblade?"

Roxas shot a look at his weapon. "Shut up!"

He lunged at Riku, who blocked him with the other keyblade. There was a spark of light and Roxas was flung back, his hood falling back to reveal his face, his blue keyblade flying away into the air and dissipating. Riku walked over to Roxas, raised the black keyblade and shoved it into the ground by Roxas' head, staring at him for a long moment.

_What's he doing? Trying to decide whether or not to just end him now?—Wait. Roxas would have Sora's face, wouldn't he? He would look exactly like him, aside from the hair… It would be so hard…_

I was about to walk over and get ready to tote Roxas back to the mansion, when he sat up, gripped the keyblade stuck in the ground, and pulled himself to his feet. Riku jumped back and just as Roxas charged him, he raised his hands and what looked like a black and blue ball of fire shot at Roxas. The blonde blocked it and swung at Riku, who jumped away once more.

"Why don't you quit?" Roxas shouted.

Riku hesitated, then spoke teasingly. "C'mon, Sora. I thought _you_ were stronger than _that_."

Roxas paused, then a flash of recognition spread over his face. "Get real! Look which one of us is winning!" He paused, gingerly touching his fingers to his lips. _I'm guessing that was Sora's memory talking, then,_ I thought.

"So it's true," Riku said bitterly. "You really are his Nobody. Guess DiZ was right after all."

I could see Roxas' body tense. _I might have to step in soon. I'm think gravity, blizzard and fire. Then a headlock. I can do that._

"_What_ are you talking about? I am _me_! Nobody else!" Roxas cried. He held out both hands, the yellow and blue keyblade appearing in his free hand. He charged Riku and swung both keys across his chest. Riku fell back; I took an indecisive step forward.

"_Riku, please! You have to stop him!"_

I paused. "I just heard… that… girl… " I mumbled, eyebrows knitting.

"How many times do I have to _beat_ you?" Roxas snapped.

Riku shook his head. "Alright. You've left me with no other choice."

"What?" Roxas stood a bit straighter in confusion.

Riku pulled himself to his feet. "I have to release the power in my heart. The dark power that I've been holding back. Even…" He slid his thumb up the bridge of his nose, beneath the blindfold. "…if it changes me forever." He pulled the blindfold from his face, and for a split second, his eyes – both bright, glistening, aquamarine eyes – met mine, with an expression of fear I'd never thought I'd see.

The second was over too quickly. He closed his eyes, threw his head back and uttered a sort of pained roar – as if his leg had been broken and someone was setting it back in place. My heart thumped hard inside my chest, my head began to swim. I clutched my chest. _Why is it so hard to breathe?_

Darkness seemed to explode from the ground around Riku, rising in what looked like lightning stretching towards the black, crying sky. Roxas stood, jaw dropped, eyes wide. The black and purple lightning disappeared back into the ground; where Riku had been, stood Ansem, with a large shadow floating behind him. It looked torn and tattered, as if it was old and had seen too many battles to count. Riku's arms were crossed. His hair was longer, the bangs spiked back – his skin was now dark tan – his eyes were bright yellow. I shuddered.

He disappeared, and reappeared inches from Roxas. His shadow clutched the boy in one hand, lifting him into the air. Roxas squirmed, gasping for air. The keyblades slipped from his hands, crashing to the ground.

"I have accepted it," Riku said – his voice was deeper, throatier, more of a growl than before.

His shadow lowered its hand and Roxas tumbled to the ground. The shadow dissipated and Riku stood staring at Roxas with eerily familiar, shining yellow eyes. My heart wouldn't stop pounding, harder and harder against my chest – but I was going to Riku to let him know he wasn't freaking me out, no matter how much adrenaline I felt pumping through me.

"Hiya, handsome," I said, keeping a straight face though my heart was beating harshly against my chest.

He smiled faintly. "Don't tell me you like this version of me better?"

I cleared my throat, trying to inhale deeply, though my breaths were shallow. "I wouldn't give a shit if your face was covered in sores and boils. I mean, I'd suggest getting some kind of ointment… But I like you for your heart."

"I hope so, you're sort of attached to it," he smirked.

I smiled. "You're still Riku. We both know that. It's sort of nice to see both of your eyes, at least."

He nodded. "It's sort of nice to look at you without a blindfold in the way."

"I hope it doesn't _impair your judgement_," I smirked, my words getting shorter.

He snorted, the small smile still resting on his face. "It's a bit late for that."

My smirk melted into an awkward sort of smile. _I'm sure he doesn't mean it the way it sounds… I'm sure…_ All at once, it felt like the wind had just been knocked out of me. My eyes widened a little and I looked away quickly, trying not to let on. I inhaled deeply, but it still felt shallow.

Something seemed to dawn on him. "Oh, shit. You're being effected by this form, aren't you?"

"I'm okay," I turned my head back to him and it swam a little. "Er… I think."

"Miyuki—"

A dark corridor appeared at his left (my right) and DiZ stepped through, staring at Roxas with an unemotional eye. Riku turned and pulled his hood up before DiZ saw him. There was a pause, my head began to clear a bit, and I could breathe a bit easier.

"DiZ. He could feel Sora," Riku said.

"Oh he told you how he felt, did he?" DiZ scoffed. "Ridiculous. A Nobody cannot feel anything." He shook his head.

"If he had _met_ Sora, things might have been different."

I glanced up at the skyscraper looming behind us. _Something's off…_

"Let us retire to the mansion." DiZ turned and walked into the dark corridor.

"I'll get his feet," I said, starting towards Roxas, but Riku held up one hand.

"No need." He tugged Roxas up by his arms, balanced him in a sit-up position, and hooked his arms around his waist, flinging the boy over his shoulder. He held him up with one arm and used his free hand to open a dark corridor. I cast one last glance at the skyscraper.

_Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something…?_

"Are you alright?" Riku said seriously.

"Yeah," I nodded, smiling at him. "To the Batcave!" I cried, and stepped into the dark corridor, Riku following close behind.


	17. Chapter 17 I Explode

The four of us stood in the computer room, staring at Roxas as he sat unconscious in the corner, on a sort of pad. I listened quietly as Riku and DiZ spoke.

"What should we do with him?" Riku asked.

"We need to buy some time until Naminé is able to restore Sora's memory," DiZ replied. "In the meantime, we will implant a different memory and have him live in the virtual town. This will keep Organization XIII fooled, too. And when the time is right, we'll dispose of him."

"What a pity…"

"It's the fate of a Nobody. He should feel grateful that I'm letting him live in a blissful dream."

I crossed my arms and arched an eyebrow. "I thought Nobodies couldn't _feel_ anything?"

DiZ snorted, turning to the computer, Roxas being pixelated and disappearing in a flash of pale green light. "Quite right."

I ground my teeth. _Why does this feel so… wrong?_ I could hardly breathe – my heart was still pounding, my head still a bit light. "I… I'm tired," I said. "I'm going to bed." I headed for the stairs.

"—Ah. So am I," Riku said quickly, following behind me.

My eyebrows knit. _Er… What?_

We walked silently, side-by-side up the stairs, my head aching from my pounding pulse. I took the stairs more slowly than usual, because of my shortness of breath – he noticed.

When we came to my bedroom door, I turned to him.

"Um… Goodnight?"

His face was still hidden beneath the hood as he spoke. "You're having trouble breathing because of me."

I crossed my arms. "How do you know that?" My voice echoed across the foyer – he pushed me door open.

"Can we talk somewhere no one else will hear us?"

"You mean where no one can hear me scream?" I said dramatically.

"Yes, exactly," he said sarcastically, and walked in, leaning against the wall as I entered, closing the door behind me.

"So why all the secrecy?" I whispered, making a point.

"What, do you want Naminé and DiZ to be in on this conversation?"

"Depends what conversation we're having…" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"This is exactly why I was concerned with you staying here," he said, speaking seriously now.

"You were concerned about not letting DiZ and Naminé hear us while in my bedroom…?"

"Can you be serious for a moment?"

I crossed my arms and nodded sharply. "Yes, I can. If you think a light head is going to drive me out of this mansion, you're wrong."

"I'm not trying to get rid of you. I'm trying to work out what's happening to you."

I shrugged. "I happened to jump off of a building today. I don't normally go around bouncing off of skyscrapers."

"It's more than that, and you know it."

I rolled my eyes, trying to calm myself. "Okay, fine. It probably has something to do with you letting your dark powers explode out of you like that."

"So the darkness gushing from _my_ heart is making the darkness in _your_ heart swell, grow stronger."

"I always figured it would swell for one reason or another," I nodded, my head swimming. I sat on the edge of the bed, staring up at him indifferently.

"And it's so sudden, you can barely stand it."

"Well, er… 'barely' is a strong word…" I rubbed my fingers on my temples, as if trying to push the ache out of my head.

"You can't even _stand up_," he said.

"I can, too. I'm not that big of a wuss." I stood up and glared at him. "See?" I said, and just as I did, the room spun.

He stepped towards me and grabbed both of my shoulders. "You're swaying. Sit down."

"…Damn…" I mumbled, rubbing the back of my neck. "…I _can_ barely stand it…" I sat up as straight as possible, trying to breathe deeper. It wasn't going so well. "So, Batman. What do you suggest I do?"

He sighed. "It just doesn't go away…" His voice trailed off, his words from earlier this night echoing in my mind.

"_I have accepted it," he said – his voice was deeper, throatier, more of a growl than before._

"You have to… live with it," I said quietly.

"…Yeah…?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "You said you 'accepted' it. You're dealing with it, because it's not going away."

"Not without an intense shift in surroundings, anyway." He tensed. "Uh…"

"It's just eating at me, isn't it?" I said, arching an eyebrow.

"…I don't like where this is going…"

"Should I embrace it?" I shrugged.

"No," he said quickly.

"Why?"

"You don't want to be consumed by darkness."

"Who says it'll consume me? This is the heart you bummed strength off of, remember? I should be strong enough to take it on."

"Do you know how long I _basked_ in darkness?"

"We had this discussion. Look, if I don't embrace darkness, what am I supposed to do? Ignore it?"

"Fight it."

"But _how_?" I said, leaning up towards him.

"I can summon your darkside. The more you fight it, the stronger you'll become—"

"Physically stronger, maybe. But what will temporarily disabling the physical manifestation of the darkness in my heart really accomplish?"

"It's great anger management," he shrugged.

"I'm serious."

"_Anything_ is better than just inviting darkness to swallow you."

"If you can handle it, and our hearts are connected, then _I_ can handle it. You made it through losing your body. You're still alive, even though—"

"If you've got a wolf hanging around your house, you don't let him inside just to get it over with."

"No, I'd grab a gun, go outside with it and shoot it. This would be me opening the door, walking out and shooting it. Wouldn't it? –Before you reply, just tell me what your unemotional, logical opinion is."

"My unemotional, logical opinion?" He sighed. "What if you aren't stronger than the darkness I stained you with? What if it consumes you like all the other people who assumed they could handle it?"

I wavered. "It's not like I'm doing this without backup. If you could bum strength off of me, I can bum it off of you. Summoning my darkside isn't going to solve anything – but if I plunge into darkness, I can find the monster feeding on me and kill it."

Riku wavered. "Plunge into darkness," he echoed. "You say it like it's a walk in the park."

"I'm guessing it'd be a subconcious experience – something like when I met you in my dreams… So would I fight it in my dreams?"

He nodded. "But it'd consume you in reality, even if you beat it. This is still an extreme step, Miyuki. It… It concerns me."

I smiled a little. "You mean it _scares_ you."

"Yeah," he snapped. "Yeah, it _does_. To see you… And know that _I'm_ the reason…"

I stood up, ignoring my light head, and wrapped my arms around his neck. _It feels so normal now…_ "You're the reason I'm not going to let myself get lost in darkness."

His arms wound around me, his right hand on my left shoulder, his left hand resting around my waist. He snorted.

"What?" I mumbled, suddenly very self-conscious.

"The irony of you saying you're not going to get lost in darkness, then hugging the very being representing it," he snorted.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't flatter yourself. You're good-looking, but you're no poster boy."

"No? Not the one who got swallowed by it and hasn't resurfaced for years?"

I snorted. "Darkness is cold, Riku," I said matter-of-factly.

"…Um… I know that."

"But you're _warm_."

I shifted closer to him, my heart feeling like it might explode – whether that was from darkness or something else, I wasn't sure. He was silent, and even past my pounding heart, I could feel his pulse against mine as I hung on his neck.

"You… You smell nice…" he mumbled.

My eyebrows knit. "Um… I do?"

"I just… thought you should know," he stammered. "Damn… I'm an idiot…"

"Thank you," I said, grinning.

"…For being an idiot?"

"For saying I smell nice," I corrected.

"Oh. Well, it's true."

I could barely breathe, and my head was swimming. I shut my eyes, wishing the room would stop spinning and my head would quit pounding. I felt his arms tighten around me, pressing me against him, and my face turned eighty shades of red.

"You don't have to disappear into darkness like I have," he said quietly.

I swallowed. "But what am I supposed to do? I was able to stand on my own ten minutes ago. Now I can barely hold myself up. It's getting worse."

"It just doesn't sit right with me. You shouldn't have to immerse yourself in darkness because of me."

"Have you ever considered the fact that I'd rather immerse myself in darkness, than leave you just so I can have a 'lighter' heart?"

He was silent for a long moment.

_Oh, _shit_. That was too far. He's freaking out now. I'm so stupid. "Hey, I'm never leaving you again, okay?" Yeah, that sounds _real_ sane. I'm going to go die now. Ugh. Just let me go so I can hide under my covers and never come out._

"You're insane," he mumbled.

I shut my eyes so tightly a tear leaked out. _Shit._

"I'm not even myself, and you still want to be with me," he said.

_Oh… Okay… As long as I'm not freaking you out._ I exhaled slowly, trying to inhale more deeply than my body was agreeing to. I pulled one arm away and poked his side with one finger several times.

"What are you— _ow_!" I poked the bruise I'd given him in the kitchen. "What the—?"

"There. Right there. That bruise." My voice was sharp, my breaths short as I pulled back and searched the shade under his hood, trying to meet his eyes.

"What about it?"

"I elbowed you in the side. I gave you that bruise. _You_. Not Xehanort." I tugged the hood back and stared at his startled, golden eyes. "I probably _am_ insane, but it's not because I see you for _you_." My breathing was a bit _too_ short now – I couldn't really talk. I inhaled deeply, but it felt like something was pressing against my lungs.

"Miyuki?" His eyebrows knit. "Are you alright?"

I shook my head, looking down. "I… I can't…"

"Sit down." He grabbed my arms and lowered me to the bed, his voice sounding distant. "Take a deep breath."

"I _can't_!" I spat, blinking hard. I could barely see the figure in front of me – everything was going black. I felt myself swerve – my eyes might've closed, I wasn't sure – everything was black, and the voice shouting at me sounded so far away…


	18. Chapter 18 KO

It's not a dream – it's far too real, and my thoughts are clear in my mind.

_What? What happened? I can't be… dead? I mean… Darkness doesn't have that kind of power over me. It's not like someone's trying to possess_ me_. But… I can't be fighting darkness so soon, can I?_

Everything was black, and sound was muted. A sound rang in my ears, so loud I could barely stand it – footsteps were approaching me from the left.

"You shouldn't be here."

I looked over to see Riku standing there, long silver hair spilling across his face, over a black blindfold. His skin was a paler shade, with a fuller cheek.

"You're—You're _you_," I stammered. _I'll be able to see your teal eyes again! Your real eyes!_

"You're not corrupted. Why are you here?"

_This is almost exactly like my dream… The one I had before I met you._ I snorted. "I came here for you, remember? –Hey! I can breathe! I can stand!" _…Which probably means I'm about to get into a scrap with something really nasty…_

He reaches up to his blindfold, tugging it off. The deep, throaty voice he has in Xehanort's form speaks. "I have accept—"

_He's about to attack again, isn't he?_ "_No_!" I punched the bruise on his side quickly. "Don't you _even_!" I shouted at him, waving my index finger in his face.

He smirks with a bitter expression, pulling the blindfold from his face. He looks exactly like Riuk should – but his eyes…

"The boy you knew is gone, child." He steps back into the shadows, the utter blackness around us, and soon, all I see are the bright yellow irises glaring at me.

"Bullshit." I reached out and thrust my hand in the general direction of where the collar of his clothes would be. I snagged fabric and pulled him closer. Even in the dim light somehow illuminating me, only half of his face was visible.

"You think you know darkness? You know nothing." A giant, black, tattered hand grips my torso from behind, pinning my arms to my side and hoisting me into the air. Xehanort smirks. "You don't even know who you're fighting."

"I'm fighting _darkness_! I'm fighting the force that _took my parents_!"

He approached me – try as I might, I couldn't escape the grip of that giant hand. An angel face with a devil's eyes hovered barely an inch from mine. "Who do you think summoned that darkness, Miyuki?"

I blinked hard, eyebrows knitting. "What?" I spat.

"You've forgotten your world's name," he grinned cruelly. "Haven't you? You've forgotten it so completely, the name is _foreign_ to you. The boy you adore – the boy you swoon at the thought of – the boy you so longingly tease—"

"Sick bastard," I spat, but he spoke over me, ignoring my words.

"Think back, child. The door to darkness opened, and half of the world was corrupted – half of its inhabitants lost."

The dream of standing on the shore with Riku sitting next to me, flashed through my mind. The smile in front of me grew all the more vicious.

"It felt like home to you," he sneered. "It felt _right_. Nothing is _right_, child. That feels like your home because it _was_ your home. This petty, stupid, arrogant boy you thought you loved is the one who stole it all from you."

He pressed his lips hard against mine – I shuddered and gagged.

My eyes fly open to the warm light of the library, Riku hovering over me with a look of intense concern in his expression. Though it's Xehanort's face, it's Riku behind the eyes, which peek out from beneath the shade of the Organization XIII hood. My lungs fill with air and I blink hard, sitting up.

_No… It's not… It can't be… That doesn't make sense… Who was that? That wasn't Xehanort…?_

I choke and gasp, tears streaming down my face from the coughing, DiZ holding a glass of water out towards me. After taking a few deep breaths, I take it from him and sip on it, thankful for the thought.

"We presume your heart was overwhelmed with the darkness pouring from Riku," DiZ said cooly. "Do you often speak in your sleep?"

"What? No," I croaked, my throat dry. "Why?"

"You were screaming," Riku said.

I stared at him a moment, the words of Xehanort echoing through my mind. _"This boy… is the one who stole it all from you."_ "What was I screaming, exactly?" I croaked again.

"Mostly profanity," DiZ said.

I took another sip of water. "How long was I… uh… out?"

"At least a half hour," Riku said.

"Your breathing stopped five minutes ago. He performed CPR," DiZ said with a straight face. I was certain that, had it been anyone but DiZ to tell me this, it would've been an awkward moment for all of us. But because of DiZ's way of stating the facts and nothing but, it was perfectly normal for the two of us. Riku, however, shifted uncomfortably.

"…Yeah…" I blinked hard, trying to block out the memory of Xehanort kissing me. I shuddered and coughed again. "I'm… so tired…" I yawned and shook my head.

"Can you breathe?" Riku asked.

"Yeah. Easily," I said, shrugging. "It's weird…"

"It was an episode of darkness. I've seen something similar to this before. You nearly lost your body," DiZ said, showing hints of respect for this. "An impressive feat, I should think."

I swallowed. "Is it safe for me to sleep tonight? I mean… Should I worry about having another _episode_?"

"Another episode… No… Not so soon after the first occurrence. You should be able to sleep peacefully tonight. Which is more than I can say for myself," he shot a look at Riku and exited the library. "Sleep well."

I stared at Riku with an expression of caution that, though I knew it hung there on my face, I couldn't shake off.

"What happened?" he asked in a hushed version of that deep, throaty voice.

"I'll tell you tomorrow. I'm too tired," I said quietly, standing up and heading for the foyer.

"I'll walk you to your room," he said.

"Alright."

We were perfectly silent, and the moment we said our "goodnight"'s and my head hit my pillow, my head was spinning with questions.

_I can't have shared a world with Riku. It makes no sense. His world disappeared a year ago… Mine, several years ago. Half of a world can't disappear at a time, can it? That doesn't make sense. It doesn't. It doesn't make sense at all._

Somehow, it did.

_How do I live with this? How do I deal with this? And, hey. What happened to Nemo?_

* * *

**To my reviewers: YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. ^-^**


	19. Chapter 19 Screaming

I have no idea what to do when I wake up the next morning. I hadn't had another dream – much to my relief – and I was staring blankly at the ceiling, my mind racing.

_I can't stand this. _Riku_ killed my parents? When we were _seven_? I thought he opened the door to darkness a year ago? Unless… Maybe he opened the dark corridor, or something like it, and the door to darkness didn't show until years later? Does that make sense?_

_I can't remember my world's name. It could have easily been Destiny Islands. I know the power Riku holds in his heart. He could've very easily destroyed my parents. Very easily…_

**My heart pitched in my chest and I curled onto my side, facing the wall, my back to the rest of the room.**

_How… How could he do that? Why would he do that? He had to know. He _had_ to know what darkness was. Like he said – there are _so many_ stories! He took my parents from me. He ruined my entire life. Why didn't I feel like this when he first told me? Didn't it occur to me just how many people's lives he ruined? No. I was too caught up in him. I was too fucking enraptured to pay attention to the facts._

There was a knock on my door.

"What is it?" I snapped.

"Breakfast time," Naminé said.

I sat up and rubbed the back of my neck. "Okay."

I stomped down the stairs and ate my breakfast as quickly as possible. DiZ was already in the computer room, as I wasn't surprised to discover, so it was the awkward trio of a hooded Riku, a very uncomfortable Naminé, and me.

"Where's Nemo?" Naminé asked quietly.

I shrugged. "I have no idea," I mumbled, shaking my head at my plate.

"Oh…"

That was the extent of conversation that morning. After demanding rather snappily that I should wash the dishes, since I hardly did anything around there, Naminé retired to her drawing room.

It was near silence in the kitchen, and the weight of it was pressing down on me so hard, my nerves were ready to burst. I was almost finished cleaning up when I realized Riku's dish was still sitting in front of him. I snagged one side of it and just as I turned to take it to the sink, Riku grabbed the other side.

"What are you doing?" I said, arching an eyebrow at him.

"What happened?" he asked.

I stared at him blankly a moment. "I grabbed the plate and you grabbed the plate and you're hindering me from cleaning up," I said quickly, and yanked the plate from his grip, stomping over to the sink.

"You know what I meant," he said, standing up and walking over to me.

I shook my head. "You know, it's really annoying how you talk to me, but you keep your hood up. Like you're afraid I'm going to see what you really look like and I'll just _die_," I snapped. The plate slipped from my hand and crashed into the sink, making me jump. I gripped the edge of the counter and took a deep breath, closing my eyes.

"What happened when you were knocked out, Miyuki?"

"I had a really trippy dream, Riku," I replied, giving him a bitter, tight-lipped smile. "Guess what? I come from Destiny Islands." He was silent. "What the hell? Are you even reacting? Let me see you!" I pushed the hood back and he stared at me with wide, golden eyes. "There. You look… shocked. Just _bewildered_."

"You were seven," he stammered.

"Yes. Yes I was. Didn't you say Kairi just _showed up_ one day?"

"I-I did… What…?"

"Do you think you maybe opened the door to darkness part of the way when you were seven or eight?" I bit my lower lip.

His jaw slid down. "I…" He blinked rapidly. "I think I might have…"

I slammed the heel of my hand against the counter. "So could darkness have swallowed half of Destiny Islands…? The half that I—"

"Damn it." He stepped back, looking down – left – right – anywhere but at me. "_Damn_ it!" he spat. He was shaking now, his hands clenched into fists. "I… I am _so_…" His eyes met mine for a brief moment – I could've sworn I saw tears pooling in them. He stomped out of the kitchen, slamming the door behind him.

I shook my head and stared down at the plate in the sink. Even if I hadn't seen tears in his eyes, there certainly weren't any in mine – they were all rushing down my face.

"I don't know why I didn't realize what a horrible thing it was until it effected me. How self-centered _am_ I? I'm an idiot, and I keep shoving the knife in deeper." My heart felt like it was trying to claw its way out of my chest. I beat the heel of my hand against the counter again. "Shit." I dried off the plate and laid it on the table, then ran the cold water and splashed my face with it. I bent over the sink, rinsing my face as tears trickled down my face, and memories trickled back into my mind.

_I stand at the top of the stairs, staring down at the darkness of my Grandma's basement. I'm seven._

"_I still don't know why Gran keeps her canned food down here." She gently tugs me from the stairway, rubbing my shoulder before descending. "I'll get it, sweetie. You stay here." She walks down the stairs._

"_Kiki! Go to Daddy…" Her voice fades, as if her mouth is being muffled. I stare at the darkness, trying to find her. Where is she? Is she alright? I see a pair of round yellow eyes flash at me in the middle of the shadows._

_I have to do what she says. I run down the street – it's the late afternoon, and Dad will be at the ice cream parlor after work. I walk in to see him sitting at a booth, facing the door with a faded smile. _

"_Dad—"_

"_Hey, kid!" he says cheerily. "Sit down with me and have some ice cream!"_

_I sit at the table and he hands me an ice cream cone. "Mom said to come find you and—"_

"_Yeah, I know. I'm gonna tell you something, okay?"_

"_But in Grandma's basement…"_

"_She's alright."_

I snorted.

_Meanwhile,_ I thought,_ Riku was playing on a beach with Sora and the new girl, keeping it a secret that he found this big fucking door…_

_I hate him. I hate him for taking my parents away. I hate him for wrecking my life. I hate him for forcing me into something I never wanted._

I bit my lower lip.

_But I can't let him go._

I wiped my face with a paper towel and walked out, heading towards the back courtyard. Sure enough, there he was, on the far side of the courtyard, beating the living crap out of a giant heartless I didn't recognize.

It was like a huge bull – only no fur, no tail, a third horn in the middle of his head, and a major underbite. It also happened to be five times the size of a normal bull. He slammed the keyblade down on its head – it swung its head up, knocking him back a good twenty feet. He got up and thrust a hand towards it, shooting a black and blue sphere at its third horn. The heartless shattered and he turned towards the mansion, one hand raised, as if about to cast another spell – or summon another heartless. He froze when he saw me.

"You better let me in on this," I called to him, crossing my arms.

"…What?" he asked confusedly.

"You're not the only one who needs to vent!" I shouted.

"Fair enough."

He summoned two more of the bull-like heartless, charging at the one on my left. I ran at the one on my right.

_Fira._

I held one hand out towards it, a ball of flame striking it in the eyes. I jumped up and hooked my hand around its left horn, pulling myself up onto his head. The third horn glowed and he reared back. I clutched the left horn with both hands now. A sort of laser shot out from the third horn, and I felt something pelt against my back.

"Son of a—" _Gravira!_ His body heaved forward and his feet slammed to the ground. I looked over and saw that this shook the ground – the ground Riku was standing on. I had to laugh as he was knocked onto his butt. The giggling didn't last very long at all – now the bull was shaking his head. I shoved one hand in its face.

_Blizzaga! Fira!_

It bellowed a deep howl, and I leapt from its head.

_Thundaga!_

A thick bolt of lighting struck the third horn, and it shattered. I looked over at Riku, who had just delivered the final blow to the other heartless. He turned to me and we stared at each other for a long moment.

"Hand-to-hand," I nodded sharply.

"Right," he nodded back, the keyblade dissipating.

He went to strike me in the torso with his left hand. I pushed it away with my right and struck him in the throat with my left. He punched me in the side with his right hand, shoving me back a foot or two. I took a step towards him and went to punch him in the nose – he stepped to the side, stood beside me and punched me in the stomach. I elbowed him in the head and turned, kneeing him in the back. He stepped away, catching his breath, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Feeling better?" I asked.

"A little," he replied.

"Adrenaline is the best way to release anger, don't you think?"

"Why are you even talking to me?" he snorted, shaking his head. "If I were you, I'd beat the living shit out of me."

"I almost did, but you backed up. If I was trying to kill you, you'd be dead by now."

"Sure," he snorted. "If you say so."

I smiled. "I accept your challenge."

I jumped towards him and slammed my fist into the side of his face. He retaliated by hitting me in the stomach, sweeping his leg across my knees, knocking me down. I gripped the collar of his coat as I fell, so that as my butt hit the ground, he toppled forward, sprawled across my lap.

"What the hell?" I said.

"_Very_ smooth!" he said sarcastically.

"Get off of me!" I laid my legs flat against the ground, put my left hand on his thigh and the other in the middle of his torso, and shoved him towards my feet.

"I'm _trying_!" he spat, scrambling to stand up.

I shimmied my feet out from under him and sat there, staring at him as he sat up and glared at me. "Now you'll know better than to think you can just knock me down," I said.

"Yeah, because I _specifically_ thought, 'Oh, I'll just knock Miyuki down for no apparent reason,'" he scoffed.

"Why can't you just fight like a normal person? You always try to get me on the ground!" I spat, sitting up on my haunches.

"Will you stop bitching about falling down and yell at me for the right reasons?" he snapped. He pulled himself up and rubbed his side. I'd gotten him in the same spot as in the kitchen – it must've been five times as painful by now.

"I'll bitch about whatever I want!" I snorted defiantly, rubbing my lower back.

"Whatever," he rolled his eyes. "I thought you'd want to vent verbally. Guess I was wrong."

I ran at him and pulled my fist back as if to hit him in the jaw – he went to guard his face and I dealt a blow to his gut. He exhaled sharply and backed up, sitting down quickly and laying on the ground.

"Figures. Just when I was feeling better, I get too intense for you," I said, my voice twisted with both concern and impertinence. I walked over. "Blink twice if you can't breathe," I said.

"I can breathe, now," he replied quietly.

"Good," I said coldly. I sat down next to him as he sat up. I crossed my legs indian-style and he stretched one leg out in front of him, pulling the other up and resting his arm on his knee in his usual fashion.

There was a brief pause.

"Well?" he said.

"Well what?" I replied.

"Would you maybe like to talk about something?" he stared at his feet.

"Talk about what? The fact that you killed my parents?" I snorted. "The fact that Destiny Islands felt like home because it _was_ home?"

"Did you ever think, maybe, that was just Xehanort trying to screw with your head?" he replied quietly.

I stared at him incredulously until he met my gaze.

"Okay, so it makes perfect sense," he mumbled.

"I told myself it 'didn't make sense' so many times that 'sense' now feels like a very loose term," I said stiffly. "I think one of the hardest parts for me, is that I didn't feel this angry even when I knew you killed other people's families."

"They were your parents, Miyuki. You have every right to be angry."

"But shouldn't I have realized the pain they went through? How did I _not_ think about that?" I shut my eyes, shaking my head.

"Because you saw it through my eyes. Now you're seeing it through theirs."

"No, I'm seeing it through _mine_," I snapped. "And it's fucking _wrong_."

He nodded silently, his head stooping down.

"And what about _your_ parents? And Sora's? And Kairi's?" I demanded. "Are they all dead, too?"

"Probably," he mumbled.

"What the _hell_?" I screeched. "How blind _am_ I? Just because you have a nice face and pretty wit, I can't see things from a logical point of view?" I was half yelling at myself now. "You killed all those people just so you could see other worlds? And I think it's all fine and dandy until I realize it involves my family. You're a jackass, and I'm an idiot!"

"I wish—"

"Do you _know_ how much you ruined? Do you know how much it _hurts_?"

"No, Miyuki, why don't you _tell me_?" he shouted, snapping his head up towards me. Angry, shimmering yellow eyes glared into mine. "Do _you_ know how much it hurts to know you're the one who killed nearly everyone you ever cared for? Then there's this tiny glimmer of light – maybe you haven't fucked someone over as badly – and you realize that it's bullshit, too."

I swallowed hard. "Bullshit, huh?" I said.

His mouth hung open as he shook his head – he seemed at a loss for words. I looked back at my lap, my hands in fists on my knees.

"How can _everything_ in my life be _this_ screwed up?" I muttered, tears slipping down my cheeks.

"That's an easy one – you met _me_," he said bitterly.

I shook my head slowly. "I keep telling myself you're not the same person. But at the same time, I want to rip you a new one."

We sat there in silence for a long time. My mind was replaying the conversation over and over. _How can it hurt so much? How can I shout at him and it still doesn't feel right? Shouldn't it feel cathartic? It doesn't. How can everything be _so _awful?_ I tried to wipe my face discreetly. It didn't work so well, because I could feel his eyes on me as I did so. I crossed my arms, my chest throbbing. _Is this literal heartache? Really? _Must_ I feel this _pathetic_?_

I stood up and started towards the mansion. Riku simply pulled his hood up, hiding his face.

_I want to run away – I want to hit you in the face – I want to tell you everything's okay. You're everything I want, and everything I hate. _I ran both hands through my hair, walking out of the house towards town. _I'm losing my mind._

**Yes, Miyuki. Yes you are.**


	20. Chapter 20 Very Violent

I stand in a shop, staring at the choices on the shelf before me. My roots were starting to turn up brown again, so it was time to dye my hair once more. I mumbled the titles of the colors to myself as I read them.

"Fire engine red… Rave-n-black…" _Do they all have dumb titles, or just the colors I like?_ "…Narwhal blue?" I picked up the box of bright blue hair dye. _Narwhals? Seriously?_ I put it back. "Feisty fuschia?" I scoffed at the pepto-bismol-pink box. "Very violent. …Violent?" I picked up the purple box and laughed. _I knew there was a reason I liked this color._

I took it up to the counter, where a boy with an eyebrow piercing and jet-black, shaggy hair was working the register.

"Hey," he smiled at me.

"Hi," I replied quietly, digging in my pocket for munny.

He slapped some buttons on the register, glancing at the box. He snorted. "Don't you love typo's?"

"They're the best," I nodded, smiling tightly. I caught the munny coin and handed it to him.

"That's 500… minus 170… Your change is 330," he handed me two coins back.

"Thanks," I shoved it in my pocket.

"Want a bag?"

"Yeah, please."

He took a folded paper bag from behind the counter, opened it and stuck my hair dye inside. "And your receipt," he said, handing it to me.

_Why didn't you just stick it in the bag…?_

"Have a nice day," he said.

"Thanks," I nodded and headed out the glass door. I paused just outside, looking at the receipt.

_1 ITEM – … 170_

_CASH TEND … 500_

_CHANGE DUE…330_

Scribbled at the bottom in dark pencil: _Come again soon!_

I shot a look over my shoulder at the guy behind the counter. He pointed at me with both index fingers, his thumbs sticking up, grinned and winked. My eyes widened and I laughed, covering my mouth with one hand. _What the hell? This guy's such a ham._ He laughed and cupped his hands around his mouth.

"Have an _awesome_ day!" he shouted.

"Thank you," I laughed, waving as I left.

I headed down the street, receipt in the bag, bag in my hand. _I wonder where Nemo is? I bet Riku would know. He's pretty much the King of Heartless… Ha. A fact and an insult at the same time. I should have a TV show._

I snorted at myself, and how ridiculous my thought process was becoming – when I inhaled, it was a little difficult. I had to really breathe deeply, and still it didn't feel quite satisfying.

_Oh, shit… I'm not…?_

My pulse pounded a bit faster – my head was beginning to spin. I stopped walking, gripping the wall on my right with my hand.

_Please… Not now… Not in public…_

The bag dropped from my hand and I grabbed my chest. The plaza swirled in front of my eyes and I felt myself slump against the wall, sliding down to my knees.

_Shit. So much for a lighthearted moment, for once._

My eyes closed to the scene of an empty plaza and opened to blackness. I stood up again, searching the darkness for some sign of Xehanort.

"I see you took my advice and distanced yourself from him," his deep voice hissed in my ear. A chill ran down my spine.

"You didn't give me advice," I growled. "You gave me facts."

"And the truth has set you free," he said.

I looked over to see Riku's face, but golden eyes, with Xehanort behind them. "The truth. Not _you_."

"I brought you truth, Miyuki. I brought you facts."

"Yes, you did," I admitted quietly.

He smiled, leaning his face closer to mine. "Your heart's so strong… How easily you could use darkness," he whispered.

I took a deep breath, gritting my teeth as he stood at my side. "Darkness eats at everyone. I bet my physical body is near death right now," I scoffed.

"Physical bodies are restraining. They allow you to use those around you more easily, but nothing more." He slid his hand up my back, resting it on the far side of my neck, pulling me closer. _C'mon… Just come a little closer…_ "Darkness is so freeing. No responsibilities… No pain… No restraint. You're beautiful at all times."

_Just a little closer… Just a little…_ "I shouldn't trust you," I whispered.

"I brought you truth. Now you know who you really are." He raised his free hand to my left cheek and pressed his lips against my right.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and turned myself so that we were facing each other. I pulled him closer to me and shoved my knee into his crotch.

"Bitch!" he spat, beginning to wrap his hands around my neck.

I shoved my thumb into the hollow of his throat. He gagged. "I know _exactly_ who I am," I hissed into his ear. He slid to his knees and I stepped back. I felt the shadow's hand start to wrap around me again. "Fuck you!" I shouted, raised my foot and planted the toe of my shoe into his eye.

I slowly came back to myself. _Am I still in the street? How long have I been out? Is Riku here? I bet he's here. He'll be hovering over me when I open my eyes, and I'll tell him to quit stalking me, and he'll laugh and make a remark about my judgement being impaired…_

My eyes opened to see the boy with black hair standing over me.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Um…" My eyebrows knit. _This isn't quite what I expected…_ "I think I'm okay…"

"You _think_? What happened? It's been like an hour since you left the shop, and you're, like, a block away!" He looked really stressed, and sat back. "Did someone mug you or something? What happened?"

I cleared my throat. "I, er, have a medical condition."

"You do? Well, do you need water, or, um, aspirin?"

"N-No, I'm alright, I just need to get home."

"Let me walk you back."

"No, really, I'm fine," I said, standing up. "My house is way far away," I gestured wildly and vaguely with my right hand.

"I don't care. Hey, what's your name?"

"Ah, Miyuki. Listen—"

"I'm Orlando," he grinned. "So which way's your house?"

"Look, I'm _fine_. I just get these dizzy spells sometimes. I got dizzy and tripped."

"You got dizzy and tripped an _hour_ ago?"

"Well, I took my stuff home!" I squeaked. "Then I remembered I had to buy milk! So I was coming back to the grocery store to—!"

"Your stuff is sitting two feet from us," he said, a skeptical expression on his face.

"When I remembered to get milk, I forgot to put my hair dye away," I said, returning the look.

"Forget it. I'm walking you home," he said, picking up the bag.

"That's _really_ unnecessary!" I said.

"You live in Twilight Town, right? That makes us neighbors. I'm _going_ to be neighborly," he said, poking me in the forehead.

My eyebrows knit at him. "But I—"

"You're not getting yourself knocked out like that again. Now, uh, which way's your house?"

"I don't _want_ you to walk me _home_, okay?" I shouted.

He stared at me with a shocked, somewhat hurt expression.

"Now can I have my bag back?" I asked quietly, staring at it.

"Yeah… Sorry," he mumbled, handing it to me. He backed away, back towards the shop. "I… I still hope your day goes awesomely," he said, giving me a small smile. He turned back and walked the opposite direction.

_I feel like a bitch… But he can't know where I live. Or try to live, anyway. So much for DiZ's theory about not having another seizure so soon after the first one._ I snorted and stomped back towards the mansion. _Why does everything have to suck? I just bit a perfectly nice guy's head off. Sure, I can't have him know where I live, but I didn't have to yell at him, did I?_

I stomped up to the gates of the mansion and glared at the lock on the gate so hard, it would've melted under my gaze. However, DiZ had an electronic opener for the gate at his computer. It creaked open just enough that I could squeeze through, and I was able to head to my room without any interruptions.

I couldn't help but think about the first time I dyed my hair as I ripped the box open in my bathroom.

_I was eight years old; I'd been living with Cid, Yuffie, Leon and Aerith for a year now. They were like a family I never seemed to quite fit into; they were loving enough, but they talked so much about their old home, I always felt like the visiting cousin instead of another sibling._

_I stood in the Item shop, fingering the blue hair dye. I turned to Huey – or was it Louie?_

"_What do you think?" I said._

"_Blue's a good color! It matches my shirt!" he nodded excitedly._

_I smiled. "What do you think?" I turned to Duey, who was sitting on the counter._

"_Red's a better color." His bright red baseball cap slid down over his eyes and he pushed it back up hurriedly._

"_Nuh-uh! Blue!"_

"_Red!"_

_I turned back to the shelf as they argued. "What about purple?" I mumbled. I looked at the end of the shelf of hair dye and saw Cid standing there, fingering the blonde box. "Cid?" I said surprisedly._

"_AUGH! M-Miyuki! Ahaha! I was just, er, looking at this for, um, Yuffie! AHAHA! Look over there!" He pointed to something behind me._

_I looked over my shoulder, and when I turned to speak to him, he was gone._

I smiled, taking off my tanktop so I wouldn't stain it. I pulled the plastic gloves out of the box, then the bottle. I uncapped it and poured it across my roots, working it all over into my hair. I threw my trash – instructions, gloves, box – into the plastic bag and watched the clock on the wall for it to set in.

I sat on the counter of the sink, humming softly to myself.

_Mom used to sing something, didn't she? It was like a lullaby kind of thing. She always sang it when she made dinner. It was… something about the moon… I think? Man… That was like another life. A better life. And _he_ ruined it._

I bent over the edge of the bathtub and rinsed my hair out. _So Xehanort's screwing with _my_ head, too. I mean… it makes sense, if he's who possessed Riku's heart, and our hearts are connected. But, ugh, does he have to look like Riku? Does he have to get so close? Ugh._ I shuddered and, although I'd rinsed all the color out, I soaked my head for a little longer, just to feel a bit cleaner.

I stood up and shook my head violently – water splashed all across the bathroom. I smiled and looked in the mirror to see bright purple hair.

"Have an _awesome_ day," I mimicked the finger point, wink and smile that Orlando gave me. I laughed. I looked almost as hammy making that face as he did. It was awkward though, as I put on my tanktop – I couldn't _stop_ laughing. Soon, I was laughing so hard I was crying. And even sooner, I was just crying.

_What can I do? What can I do to let him know I still want him around? Because I do. I want to be with him. I hate what he's done, but I can't stand myself without him._

I walked out of my room, wiping my face with the back of my hand. _Where is he? I need to let him know._

I didn't see him in his room, the kitchen, or the courtyard. I walked through the empty library to DiZ's computer room.

"Do you know where Riku is?" I asked in a low voice, trying to keep my voice from cracking.

"Keeping an eye on Roxas," he answered. My heart sank. "I'm surprised you didn't go with him," he said, turning to me.

"Oh, I wanted to dye my hair."

He studied me a moment before responding. "I see."

I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. "I'll, uh, clean up the kitchen," I said.

"If that's what you think is best," he said indifferently.

I cleard my throat. "Later." I headed up the stairs quickly and slowed to a stop in the library, the bookcase shutting behind me. No matter how much I wiped my face, it was soaked with more tears. _I'm so sick of feeling this way. Of being alone and angry and hurting._ I walked into the kitchen and cleaned obsessively for hours until I felt tired and laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, wishing that at the very least, Nemo was with me.

* * *

**Yes, "violent" instead of "violet" was an actual typo.**

**Pardon the sentence that was randomly formatted bold at the beginning of chapter 19.**

**Your reviews made my day! Thanks! ^-^**


	21. Chapter 21 Aquamarine

I crossed my arms, laying in bed and staring blankly at the ceiling, wondering if Riku was still in the virtual town.

_No… No, he's probably in bed by now… Probably tired, too…_

I sighed.

_Did I have to say those things to him? Did I really have to shove his mistakes in his face? …It's only fair, right? I mean, his mistakes are being shoved in _my _face… But "two wrongs don't make a right"… And no matter what he's done, I know who he's grown up to be. …Don't I?_

I closed my eyes, trying to fall asleep – they just snapped right back open.

_And poor Orlando… I bit his head off, too. I've just been a bitch today. I can't really blame myself… But I don't want to be like this. This isn't who I want to be._

There was a soft rap coming from my door – I sat up.

"Come in," I said, just loud enough for it to reach the other side of the door.

It creaked open and in the darkness I could make out Riku's figure in the doorway, arms crossed, leaning against the doorway. "DiZ said you asked about me," he said coldly, his face hidden beneath his hood.

I slid my legs out from beneath the covers, hanging them over the side of the bed. I stared at the shadows hiding his face, searching for some definition, some contour. Nothing but black. "It's been a rough day," I said quietly, chewing on my lower lip.

"Yes, it has." His tone was still indifferent.

I swallowed. "Um… Do you want to sit down?"

"Not particularly."

"Then I'll stand." I got to my feet and took a step towards him.

"Why?" he said coldly.

I stared at him, surprised for a brief moment. "Because I like mimicking your movements," I said sarcastically.

"If you just wanted to rail on me some more, I'm leaving."

I took another step towards him. "Riku," I said solemnly. "I shouldn't have said those things to you."

"Shouldn't you?" he replied. "I'm the one who took everything from you – you hate me – we avoid each other. Isn't that how things work?"

"Do… Do you want it to work that way?" I mumbled, staring at my hands as they tugged the sleeves of my hoodie down over one another.

"I'd much prefer it didn't. But knowing the truth…" _"The truth has set you free," Xehanort said._ "…I can't make you stay with me."

I picked my head up, staring beneath the hood for a long moment. "You think you're _making_ me stay here?" I arched an eyebrow at him. "You think you can tell me what to do?" I scoffed.

"Stop it with the west-side, tough-bitch act," he said. "Joking isn't going to change the fact that I've done the unforgivable."

I crossed my arms. "I'm staying here because _I_ want to," I said. "Because I want to stay where I feel at home."

His shoulders slumped and he shook his head. "…_Miyuki_…" he breathed. "You just don't get it, do you?"

"Give me _some_ credit."

"Are you stupid? I've done nothing but hurt you."

"I haven't made it clear, have I?" I cocked my head to one side. "Riku, I'm not going anywhere. Unless you truthfully tell me that you personally wish I would get the _hell_ away from you, I want to be where you are."

"You're slowly _killing_ yourself by staying with me."

"Oh, please!" I rolled my eyes. "I don't need _you_ in order to die. I had a nice conflict with Xehanort today while in town."

"_What_?" He took a step towards me. "Are you alright? What'd he do?"

"He didn't do anything but get handsy," I shrugged. "I kicked him in the eye and woke up."

"'_Handsy_'? You're kidding," he said.

I snorted. "You think I would joke about this? …Actually," I rubbed the back of my neck. "I probably _would_…"

He grabbed his head. "_Shit_, Miyuki!"

"What?" I said, making a confused face at him.

"Not only have I wrecked your life, but I'm inviting Xehanort into your heart and he's— _Shit_! I'm such a jackass!"

"Would you calm down? I'm a big girl, Riku, I know how to take care of myself. Did I mention I planted my foot in his face?"

"I hate everything I'm doing to you!" he said. "I hate _everything_ about my heart. It doesn't do anyone any good – not even _me_."

"You're so full of it," I said, shaking my head and crossing my arms.

"Excuse me?" He crossed his arms back.

I took a step towards him and stabbed him in the chest with my index finger. "Do you _know_ how much it hurt to be alone? I imagine you do. You took everything from me – and you can't replace anything. But you gave a lonely kid hope. You gave her someone to hang onto. You brought her back to life."

He was silent, his arms hanging at his side now. "But is it really worth—"

"Yes," I said quietly. "If it wasn't worth it, I wouldn't be here."

His head hung slightly. "I don't understand how you can think that."

"Has anyone ever told you that some things don't need to be logical?"

Beneath the hood, I saw gold irises shimmer and shift, so that now he was looking back at me. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"It's okay," I replied, smiling a little. I took another step and wrapped my arms around his torso. "I'm sorry, too."

He snorted. "For _what_?" he asked, bewildered.

"For yelling at you… For digging the knife in deeper."

He exhaled slowly, his breath hitting my neck, and wrapped his arms around me, holding me against him. "You don't have anything to apologize for."

I reached up with one hand and pressed the hood back, smiling up at him.

"I wish you wouldn't," he whispered. "I want you to see me when I really look like myself. Not this."

"I'm not being held by someone whose face I can't see," I retorted. _There's no more confusion… Now I know he doesn't mind me being so close._

"But it's not _my face_ you're seeing." He flashed an eerily familiar grin, but it disappeared so quickly I thought my eyes must be playing tricks on me.

"_The boy you knew is gone."_ Those words ran through my mind so clearly I almost thought I could _hear_ it. _"If only you'd taken me up on my offer… You might've found him in the darkness."_

I clutched myself against him, my shoulders tensing. "I can hear him," I breathed.

"What?" Riku said quietly.

"It's like…" _I sound so insane…_ "It's like he's hissing in my ear."

"There's no one here but you and me…" he said.

"_You think the man you're clutching yourself against is Riku? Stupid child."_

I swallowed hard. "But _I can hear him_," I said helplessly. "I'm not joking."

Chills ran through me and I shuddered. "What can I do?" he asked, half to himself.

"I'm cold," I mumbled. I couldn't get much closer to him than I already was.

"_You think you're safe? I've got control over this fool of a boy."_

His hand slid up my back, to my neck, and wrapped around my throat. I inhaled sharply as his thumb dug into my throat.

"N-No," I hissed.

All at once my throat was free, and his hand was resting on the back of my head.

"Why? What's wrong?"

My heart sank. "I don't know. Your hand was around my throat."

"No it wasn't," he said, shocked.

"I don't know!" I hissed.

"_Of course you do. The closer you get to this boy, the closer you'll get to me. You can't have one without the other."_

"Talk to me," I said.

"What?"

"Talk to me. About anything. Just keep making noise."

"Ah – I used to chase Sora around the island, trying to stuff crabs down his shirt." He paused, and Xehanort's voice broke through. _"What do you think he meant by 'I have accepted it'?"_

"I don't know," I mumbled as Riku prattled about crabs, shutting my eyes tight.

"_The only way you're getting rid of me is by getting rid of him. You'd better follow his lead and just accept me."_

"He hasn't _given in_," I growled incredulously, my body tensing.

"—What do you mean?" Riku's eyebrows knit at me.

"_I'll have you in my grip one way or another."_

"Arrogant jacka—"

"What's he _saying_ to you, Miyuki?"

Riku leaned away slightly, looking down at me confusedly. His eyes shimmered – shifted – seemed to blur, like a watercolor being splattered with water…

_Like that dream…_

"_Give in, child. Whenever you look at this boy, you'll see me. Unless you give into darkness, his face will never be the same again."_

"You're wrong," I shook my head.

His face changed – it shifted in place, his skin growing paler, his hair changing – as though he looked like the teenager he was, and Xehanort was just a see-through hologram hovering in front of him.

"What… the… hell?" I stammered, backing away, our arms untangling from one another. The further away I stepped, the further the real Riku seemed – Xehanort, however, kept the same distance from me.

"What's happening?" Riku's voice called. _Riku's_ voice – not Xehanort's, though he wasn't silent.

"_You think you can get rid of me so easily?"_

"I never said you'd be _easy_ to get rid of."

"_You think your heart's that strong? You can always just gaze past the darkness? Ridiculous child! You need me, in order to see reality!"_

"I don't _need_ you!" I scoffed, now foot or two from the wall. His eyes were at the same level as Riku's – I shifted my focus to look at the bewildered teenager behind Xehanort. "He's… Inches from my face," I stammered. "Can't you see him?"

"Miyuki… Did you drink the rotten lemonade?"

"What? I'm _fine_!" I protested, glaring at him.

"Alright, alright, I just…" His voice disappeared beneath the volume of Xehanort's.

"_You think you can ignore me?"_

Xehanort's hand reached towards my throat, slamming my head against the wall.

"Oh, shit," I gasped.

"Wait, can you breathe?"

"He's— gagging—" I spat.

"_Goodnight, Miyuki."_ The impish grin flashed on Xehanort's face – I stretched my arm out.

"N-No—" I gasped.

"_Release the darkness in your heart! Release the power you hold back!"_

I tried to stare past the yellow eyes glaring into mine, and thought I saw a flash of recognition cross Riku's face.

"I'm here," he said, walking forward, arms strecthed out as if approaching a wild animal. "Miyuki, can you see me? I'm not going to hurt you."

I felt my head spin – my lungs were going to explode, if my heart didn't explode first… _I'm not giving into you, Xehanort._

"Miyuki, I'm right here."

The teal eyes approaching me came towards the yellow ones between us – soon, the dark, sneering face was broken, vanished. And who stood there, but Riku, silver hair hanging in his pale face, bright aquamarine eyes staring at mine with a sort of concentration I'd never seen before. When Xehanort's face had vanished, so had the grip on my throat, and air rushed into my lungs.

"Can you see me?" he said.

I nodded, trying to steady my breathing. I shut my eyes and bent over a little, grabbing my chest with one hand. "I don't understand," I panted.

"All I saw was your eyes turning a lighter shade of brown – almost gold, like _his_…"

"You're _you_," I breathed, looking up at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Your eyes…" I stood upright. "They're blue-green." I snorted, my expression twisting in a sort of bewildered smile. "You sound like yourself – _before_ you fought Roxas."

"…I can hear my voice, Miyuki. I sound the same."

We stared at each other a long moment, and our voices were monotone when we spoke again.

"This doesn't make sense," I whispered.

"No, it doesn't," he whispered back.

"We should go ask DiZ who he sees…"

"Last time I saw him, he was asleep."

"…And he needs his sleep." I swallowed hard, brushing my hair out of my face nervously. _I don't know what's going on. What the hell's happening to me?_

"Your hands are shaking," he said, catching my right hand in his left.

"Well, hold me steady," I grumbled, and stepped into him, burying my face in his shoulder. He wrapped one arm around me, clutching my hand in his as they hung at our sides.

"C'mere, sit down," he said quietly, and we sat on the edge of the bed, his arm hooked around me.

I was so incredibly happy that he look like himself again – and incredibly concerned that it was just because I was losing my mind, that he looked this way. And of course, there were the dreadful thoughts as to what exactly happened to Xehanort…

* * *

**I love how everyone always puts a heart in their reviews even though the review board doesn't show the "less than" sign. It just makes me happy to know that we're dedicated to our emoticons. ^-^**


	22. Chapter 22 Awkward Morning

**So I'm about to post this, and my mom, who is watching tv three feet away, randomly goes "...Crazy obsessed women..."**

**OH, THE IRONY.**

**Thanks so much for all the reviews! It means so much to me!**

* * *

I woke to a dimly lit room. Crust had gathered in the corner of my eyes, and when I lifted my hand to wipe it away, I noticed that I had to pull it out of Riku's grip first.

Realization shot through me and I sat up in bed quickly, eyes wide as they stared down at Riku, who was sprawled across the floor, snoring contentedly. He still looked like the pale teenager he was supposed to – a mass of silver hair hiding his face, wearing the Organization's coat – and all the blankets on my bed were laying over him.

I laid back down.

_It doesn't get much more awkward than this. Well… No… It could get much more awkward…_

I double checked that he was still wearing the coat.

_Okay, so things aren't too awkward. But awkward enough._

A hand in a black glove sprang over the side of the bed and snatched my arm, yanking me towards the edge of the bed.

"What are you doing?" I hissed at Riku.

"That's… not your paopu…" he mumbled, flopping over.

_Not my _what_?_ "Go back to sleep!"

"…No… I'll share with _you_."

I pried his hand from my arm and yanked my pillow towards the edge of the bed, shifting until I was properly snuggled in. _Weirdo._ I tucked one hand under my pillow, snuggling my face against it. _Wow… I'm really comfortable right now…_ I sighed contentedly and my eyes drifted shut.

"Um… I, uh…"

I opened my eyes and looked over at the doorway, where Naminé stood very uncomfortably.

"B-Breakfast is, uh… Er, you know what? Never mind, okay? I'll just, um…" She practically slammed the door shut, and Riku's head snapped up.

"What happened?" he said, his voice thick with sleep.

My face flushed red. "Oh, we just made Naminé feel insanely awkward."

"What? Why?"

I snorted. "Well, whose room are you in, Riku?"

"Oh." He smirked and laid back down, resting his hands beneath his head. "That's nothing to worry about. She jumped to conclusions days ago."

My eyebrows knit. "Excuse me?"

He looked up at me with entertained teal eyes. "The night you found out we were connected?"

"You mean the night you gave me a _hug_?" I arched an eyebrow at him, emphasizing "hug" as if it were dirty.

"Hug is such a lame word…"

I laughed. "I knew you would say that."

"Yeah?" he said incredulously.

"Yeah, because I though the same thing." I grinned.

"Anyway, she saw that. What she _didn't_ see was us parting ways."

My eyes widened. "Are you _serious_? She assumed—just because we were—?"

"It was almost one a.m., Miyuki." He shifted so that he was propped up by his elbows, looking at me sideways.

I stared at him blankly. "Y-Yeah… But…" _She thinks I'm easy?_

"And you just gave her further proof," he said smugly.

"_Me_? You're the one who didn't go back to his own room last night!"

He snorted. "I didn't hear any objections."

"Shut up!" I chucked my pillow at his face.

He grabbed it and looked at it thoughtfully a moment. "So what do I look like?" he asked quietly.

"Yourself," I said. "Pale and scrawny."

His eyebrows knit at that and he shot me a look. "Scrawny…?"

"Getting egotistical, are we?" I smirked.

"Yeah, right! I seem to recall someone forgetting what inn she was staying at, with one look at my abs."

"Your proud demeanor can't fool me. I know that you're actually terribly self-concious."

"With all this credit to my reputation? I hardly think so."

"Ha! Reputation with _who_? One indifferent man and a silent girl? Oh, yeah. Big street cred," I said sarcastically.

"Naminé's memories will be stored inside Kairi one day, you know."

My face turned red now. "It's not like I care what they think anyway!"

He looked down, the smirk fading. "So you still see me as _me_, huh? Not him?"

"Last night, it was like… like he took on this ghostly form, and separated from you."

He nodded. "I saw you backing away, and then it was like yellow film was covering your eyes."

"Then when you came closer, he disappeared."

"Exactly. But I don't feel any different. My voice sounds exactly the same."

I sighed. "We should ask DiZ about this."

He stood up and flipped up his hood. "Agreed." He turned to me and offered me his hand. "But first, we eat."

I made a face at him and took his hand, standing up and tossing my hoodie onto my bed. "What's with the anonymity?"

"For dramatic effect when we ask DiZ what I look like," he said sarcastically, heading towards the door.

We were ten feet from the kitchen door when he stopped. "Wait." He turned to me and ran his hand back and forth across the top of my head, thoroughly jacking up my hair.

"What the hell?" I hissed, slapping his hand away.

"Oh, you know. Anything to keep up my reputation."

My eyes narrowed, my tone a mix of astonishment and amusement. "You're one _twisted_—"

"I'm kidding," he said, and I could see the smirk clearly, even beneath the hood.

DiZ had taken his breakfast to the computer room, and it was a heavy, awkward silence as Riku, Naminé and I sat around the table, eating bacon and eggs. Naminé's face was even brighter red than mine.

_If only Nemo was here… He could make us feel more at ease…_

I attempted to lighten the mood. "So what the hell is a paopu?" I scoffed at Riku.

His head slowly turned towards me, and though I couldn't see beneath the hood, I felt an awkward gaze burning through my head from both of them. I stared down at my plate.

"Wow, these eggs are really interesting," I mumbled quickly.

"I'll just… er… go fix things," Naminé stood up and exited the room.

I threw my hands in the air and turned to Riku with a glare. "Seriously?" I squeaked. "You couldn't have backed me up even a _little_?"

"You don't know what a paopu fruit is?" he replied in the same half-angry, half-confused tone. "The _dream_ didn't even make it obvious enough?"

"What dream? The one you had this morning?"

"Yes! Wait – you didn't have that dream?"

"I didn't dream _anything_," I said, shrugging.

He buried his face in his hands. "Shit. Never mind."

I made a mock-horrified face. "_Riku_," I said, "are you having _dirty_—"

His head snapped up and I knew he was shooting me a look. "Just shut up. Right now. Just. Please."

I laughed a little. "No, seriously, _what_ is a paopu fruit?" I arched an eyebrow.

"It doesn't matter. Really. Eat your food." He turned to his plate and stuffed food in his mouth.

I glared at him. "I _will_ find out how this fruity dream of yours went," I said determinedly. He just took another bite of bacon.

After eating and leaving our dirty dishes in the sink, we made our way towards DiZ's computer room, my sole focus being nagging Riku with awkward questions.

"Were we alone?"

"Maybe." We stepped through the library doors.

"Was my hair purple?"

"Maybe." He pulled down the green book.

"Was Xehanort there?"

"Maybe." The bookcase opened and we started down the pitch-black stairs.

"Were you wearing clothes?"

"No."

"_Really_?" I gasped.

"I'm _not_ telling you, Miyuki," he said.

"Telling her what?" DiZ asked as we stepped into the room.

"Nothing," Riku said, and before I could explain, he added, "Who do I look like to you, DiZ?"

He pulled down his hood and stepped forward. DiZ turned around, a curious expression on his face.

"Is this some sort of joke?" he growled.

Riku shook his head and crossed his arms. "Miyuki says I look like myself."

"He does!" I reached over and poked Riku's cheek. "Pale, scrawny, and a slightly nasally voice…"

He shot me a look from the corner of his eye. DiZ was confused, but not entertained.

"Have you eaten anything irregular?" he asked.

"Not unless you count the food you've been eating as 'irregular'," I said.

"Was your hair dye a brand other than what you've used in the past?"

"No, actually," I shrugged. "But you need to hear how exactly this…" I gestured to Riku. "…went down. Last night, he and I were hashing things out. All of a sudden, I can hear Xehanort speaking to me… Maybe from inside me? When I black out, he and I get into it. Last time I blacked out—"

"You had a second seizure?" DiZ said, shocked.

"—Um, yeah," I bit my lower lip. "In town. It ended on a good note, though. I kicked Xehanort in the eye," I smiled. "So anyway, Riku and I were talking, and I keep seeing him smile – only it's a really creepy smile, and it disappears as quickly as it comes. At first I thought it was my eyes messing up. But then I kept hearing Xehanort's voice, louder and louder. And I stepped away from Riku, and it was like a ghost stepped towards me, out of him. It was Xehanort. His face was inches from mine, and he gripped my throat. I could see through him, to Riku, who looked like himself by this time. Then, well, Riku stepped forward and Xehanort just sort of… vanished."

DiZ patiently listened to my rambling explanation, nodding his way through it. He shifted his gaze to Riku. "Can you tell any difference?"

"The only thing I noticed that makes me certain she's not just seeing things, is that when she backed against the wall, something about her eyes changed. I must've been seeing through him, like she said – it was like a yellow film was hovering over her eyes."

"But you see no difference if you look in the mirror?"

"Right."

DiZ shifted his attention back to me, mumbling to himself under his breath. "… Perhaps… sort of tunnel-vision… light like this…"

"Penny for your thoughts?" I asked.

He looked at Riku. "You need to keep an eye on _it_."

Riku nodded sharply once, flipped his hood up, and walked to the pad at the side of the room. DiZ turned to the computer, hit a few keys, and Riku immaterialized, holding one hand up to wave goodbye briefly. DiZ turned back to me, nodding at the closet in the corner of the room. "Please fetch the portable data processor, Miyuki," he said.

I walked over and opened the closet door to see the weird generator thing sitting on the floor inside. I pointed at it and looked at DiZ. "This thing that you hooked up to my wrist?" I asked.

"Yes," he nodded. "I'd like a bit more information on that heart of yours."


	23. Chapter 23 Stalkers and Grumblers

"Alright," DiZ switched off the generator-like machine and I tugged the sensor from my wrist.

"That's it?" I arched an eyebrow and stood up from my position on the floor. "That's all you're going to ask me?"

"The output of data you've just given me is shocking," he replied, hitting more buttons before gesturing for me to put it back in the closet. "At the least, I will need two hours to calculate the information."

"Wow. I'm still having problems wrapping my mind around the fact that all you need is a sensor hooked up to my wrist…"

"Your friends in Traverse Town must've been quite the technological illiterates."

_Friends…? They were pleasant enough, and I wish them all the best, but they were more like babysitters._ I snorted and shut the closet door. "Cid's thing was gummi ships. That's about as 'technological' as it got. No big deal, though. Different people have different niches, and mine was never really computers."

"I see."

I turned to face him, but he was turned towards his computer, typing away. "Hey, DiZ?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you." The typing halted. "For letting me stay here, for helping me figure things out… I really appreciate it."

He turned his head towards me slightly. "Your words are kind, but unnecessary," he said coldly.

I shrugged. "I just wanted to make sure you knew what I thought."

"…Must be true…" he mumbled, turning his head towards the computer again and typing furiously.

An idea popped into my head. "Hey. Can you do me one more little favor?"

"That depends…" he said, his tone suspicious. He turned towards me completely now. "…Why are you smiling like that?"

I quickly reassembled the grin on my face into a serious expression. "I'm not smiling. Would you mind putting me in the virtual town?"

"I suppose not. If it's Riku you're looking for, he should be keeping an eye on the Sandlot about now. Bear in mind, if you compromise our position to the Organization or Roxas in _any_ way…"

"Please, DiZ. Give me a _little_ credit." I crossed my arms.

"Very well. As long as you understand." He pointed to the pad. "Stand over there."

"Got it," I nodded and stood on it, watching as DiZ slapped the keyboard.

"Hold still," he commanded.

It felt a bit like walking into the dark corridor – almost like a cool bedsheet was being wrapped around me, and the hair on my arms and neck stood on end. Everything was dark – then everything was growing lighter, warmer – and I was now standing in the middle of the Station Plaza, staring right at the sunset.

I squinted and looked around. _Okay. Sandlot._

I booked it down the alley, my speed gaining as I leapt down the sloping road. Near the entrance to the Sandlot, I swung myself onto a roof, ignoring the height. I snuck over the rooftops, peeking down at the seven teens and a mysteriously quiet, short being in a pointy hat. They were talking smack (except for one girl, two guys and Pointy Hat) and two of them were threatening each other with fists raised. At the other end of the Sandlot, by the entrance leading to an alleyway, Riku stood in the shadows, arms crossed.

I snuck over to the roof of the building he leaned against, hovering over him with a grin. _Three… two… one!_ I leapt down behind him, ready to stab him in the sides with my middle and index fingers. But before my feet hit the ground, he turned halfway towards me and elbowed me in the gut. I hit the wall and slumped to the ground, clutching my stomach.

"Hello to you, too," I groaned.

"Messing around when we're out here isn't good," he said stiffly.

"Stick-in-the-mud." I stood up and walked over to him, resting one hand on my hip and the other on his shoulder.

"Did you come here to help, or screw with me?"

"Little bit of both." I looked over at him. "Besides, it can't be very fun to stand around staring at weird kids with violence issues. …Oh, wait, that's me." I smiled at him.

"When the Organization comes over and decides to kill us both, and you're too busy running your mouth to pay attention, it's your own fault."

"Negative, much?" I sighed and leaned against the wall next to him. "Besides, can't DiZ make it so that we're invisible?"

"No. He can add and remove people, he can make the fake ones blind to the additions, but he can't alter the abilities of the real ones."

"Right," I nodded. "So this is the virtual town, huh?" I looked around. "It's a very good copy."

There was a short pause.

"So what did DiZ talk to you about, that he wanted me out of there?"

"Girl stuff," I replied. He shot me a look, and I smirked. "He hooked me up to that, uh, data processor thing." I leaned against the wall and looked up at the sky, which was turning a pale shade of purple.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm. Asked me to go over what happened last night. Then he asked about my lapses of… well, darkness…" I looked back over at Riku. "…Then he asked what you dreamt about last night…"

He snorted. "Nice try."

"Will you at least tell me what a paopu fruit is?"

"It's bright yellow, shaped like a star. I'm surprised you don't remember the folklore…"

"Maybe I never _heard_ the folklore."

"Maybe."

I stared at him expectantly. He was silent. "So what's the folklore?"

"Shh." He held one finger up towards me, staring out at the teenagers. Roxas and a girl with brown hair had their arms hooked around those of a blonde kid, dragging him backwards as he spat insults at the other gang. A heavy-set kid walked alongside Roxas, laughing at something I didn't bother to figure out, because they were headed towards us.

Riku gripped my hand in his and all at once, we were on the roof of a building lining the alley. I stumbled a little and he grabbed my shoulder with his free hand, holding me steady.

_This is a new one…_ I thought.

He turned and watched the people heading towards a gated area – a sort of abandoned nook of the alley they'd turned into a hang-out spot. His hand fell from my shoulder and he stepped carefully across the roof, watching as the kids disappeared into the hang-out.

We stood on the ground in front of the gate, Riku leaning against it, listening in. At the angle he held his head, light shone into his hood, and I could see him frown in concentration.

_I wonder if it's hard to reassemble yourself with darkness like that? Even more so with two people, I'll bet. And he acts like it's as easy as breathing…_

A thought nagged in the back of my mind that, if I had given in to Xehanort, I'd probably have just as much ease with darkness as Riku. But I busied myself with studying the expression of the boy gripping my hand.

"Looks like I'm not the only one with eavesdropping issues," I whispered.

He snorted. "Well—" He cut himself off. We now stood a good thirty yards up the alley, our backs against a wall, Riku peeking around the corner at the kids exiting their hang-out.

"It's scary how good you are at stalking this guy," I said.

"I'm only here because I want Sora to have his memory back. It's not as if I, say…" He turned his head back towards me, smirking. "…randomly saw him and simply followed him out of my desire to ogle like _some_ people…" Try as I might, no response was coming to me. I just arched an eyebrow at him. The smirk on his face slid into a faint smile – still smug, but mixed with a different expression I couldn't quite place. "I'll take that as a confession," he said, his tone matching the look on his face – awkwardly difficult to decipher.

A wall of black drifted up beside us, pinning us between it and the brick wall of the building. I heard footsteps and voices coming towards us from the direction Riku had been looking. He held one finger up towards me again, suggesting silence. I nodded silently. The footsteps were now right next to us, and I could hear a boy ranting.

"—Seifer and his gang haven't seen _anything_ yet! They think they can shove us around? They're _wrong_! Right, Roxas?"

"Ah… I'm not sure I like where this is going …" Roxas said.

"You're just asking for trouble, Hayner," said a third voice. "Let it go."

"Since when are _you_ a peacemaker?"

"I want more ice cream before I die, alright?"

"You _always_ want ice cream, Pence…" said a girl's voice.

The footsteps headed up the alley, the voices growing fainter. The black wall dissipated into smoke, Riku's hand returning to his side. We now stood on the roof, right beside the alley, and were walking side-by-side towards the station plaza – the same direction as Roxas.

"So they couldn't see the huge glob of darkness sitting in the middle of the alley?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"All they saw were shadows," he replied.

"Oh! That reminds me," I said. "Do you know what happened to Nemo?"

"Nemo?"

"Yeah. Short, yellow eyes, two antenna… An unnatural affection for me…?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"You control heartless, don't you?"

"It's impossible to keep track of how many heartless _exist_, let alone where they are and what they're doing."

"Right…" I twisted my lips to one side. "I'm worried."

"About a heartless?" he scoffed.

"He was showing emotion. His person was still in there, somewhere."

"The only reason he embraced you is because of the darkness I shoved onto your heart."

I snorted. "Oh, thanks."

"It's not an insult, it's a fact."

"It's not the _only_ fact. Weird things happen when I'm around."

He shot me a look. "Believe me, I've noticed."

"Of course you have. You're a professional stalker."

"You wouldn't know that unless you've stalked me, yourself."

I smirked. "A lady never tells."

"We've beaten each other black and blue, Miyuki. It's a little late to start worrying about manners."

"It's _never_ too late to worry about manners," I said in a mock-reproachful tone.

He snorted loudly. "Who are you and what've you done with Miyuki?"

I elbowed him in the side. "Shh! They'll hear you, stupid."

"Look, _you_ started this—"

"Very chivalrous! Blame the woman!"

"_Now_ who's going to be heard?" He arched an eyebrow at me.

I pointed at the teenagers in the alley below. "Just focus on your target!"

He gave me a smug look. "I am."

My eyebrows popped up and my cheeks turned bright red. "Yeah, well, are you gonna tell DiZ that when Roxas gets abducted and we weren't paying attention?"

He wavered a moment, then finally turned his head towards the alley, a smug look resting on his face.

"Cocky jerk," I muttered.

"Conspicuous grumbler," he muttered back. I rolled my eyes. _This is going to be a long afternoon._


	24. Chapter 24 You're Not That Stupid

"I love you, DiZ," I said with a straight face, stepping into the computer room from the virtual town with my second ice cream bar of the day. "Thank you so much for making free ice cream."

"It was a minor alteration," he said dismissively.

"It was a beautiful alteration," I said, leaning against the wall to the side of the computer. "It was a brilliant alteration. It was a tasty alteration." I slurped the sea-salt ice cream and Riku materialized on the pad next, stepping forward with an ice cream bar of his own.

"You, too?" DiZ said surprisedly.

"…It's been a long time since I've had ice cream," he said quietly.

"So did you have time to process that data?" I asked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. It's very interesting… I've heard of these sort of situations, but never seen it firsthand."

I shot a look at Riku, whose face, what with the dim lighting, was completely shaded by his hood. "That sounds ominous," I said, looking back at DiZ.

"Have you had any other incidents with Xehanort since last night?" he asked.

"No."

"I thought not. It appears that the torrent of darkness pouring from Riku's heart has created an imbalance. One that your heart is more than able to compensate for."

My eyebrows knit. "So… My heart's trying to make up for his heart?"

"Correct."

"With what?"

"Light," DiZ and Riku said in unison.

"But _how_? He basked in darkness for a while – it makes sense. But light's never been anywhere near me."

"Did you not escape to Traverse Town as your world was overcome with darkness?" DiZ said.

My eyes shifted to Riku, then back on DiZ again. "Yeah, I did."

"Light is more powerful than darkness. It can conceal itself in a heart just as easily as darkness can."

I stared at him blankly a long moment. _Well. It makes sense, I guess. Yin and yang… Everything has a balance…_

"It also explains your ability to see Riku as himself. The body I see is one of darkness – however, if my heart couldn't see darkness…"

"What about my little 'trips' with Xehanort, then?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Intervals of darkness while adjusting to the light. A fluctuation of your hearts – a struggle between the flow of darkness and light. I'm not entirely certain that you've reached a balance yet, but you're much closer to one than you were this time yesterday."

What was left of my ice cream was dripping at this point, and I hurried to finish it. "That explains why Nemo doesn't hang around anymore…" I said.

"Yet another reminder not to get attached to anything that doesn't have a heart," he said, rather pointedly. "Please excuse me."

I nodded. "Later." I headed for the stairs, Riku close behind me. I walked over to the desk and set my now clean popsicle stick on it, slumping into the chair and closing my eyes. "Today has been weird."

"Weird?" Riku echoed, sitting on the floor, leaning against the desk. He stretched one leg out in front of him, bending the other knee and propping his arm over it, in his usual fashion.

"First, you muttering about paopu fruit. Then the ordeal about my heart being filled with _light_…" I held up both hands in front of me, extending my fingers dramatically at the word. I clapsed my hands and laid them across my stomach. "It's weird. In a few days, my life has gone from limping along lamely, to running cross-country."

He flipped the hood back. "Aw, Miyuki. You weren't _that_ lame."

"Har, har, har," I forced a sarcastic laugh, stubbing the toe of my converse against his head. He smirked. "So when are you going to tell me the folklore about the paopu?"

He snorted cynically. "I'm _not_."

"Please? C'mon!" I nudged him in the head with my shoe again. "I'll be your best friend!"

"You're already one of my best friends!" He shoved my leg away and I tugged my knees up to my chest, wedging my feet onto the edge of the chair.

"You owe me!" I said, pointing at him.

"I do not," he scoffed.

"Yes, you do. You bummed strength off of me for years, remember? You're a thief, and it's time to pay up."

"Oh, that."

"Myes, 'that'. I want to know every detail of this dream." I put my feet on the floor and shifted forward, narrowing my eyes at him.

He arched an eyebrow at me, his teal eyes turning from stern and defiant, to playful and amused as he shifted forward. "Hmm," he said quietly, a few inches separating our faces. "Are you sure _that's_ the favor you really want to call in?"

"I was joking about making you buy me a pony," I said.

He snorted, smiling, and sat back against the desk again. "Oh, er, Miyuki?" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Try to believe me when I say that I honestly forgot about this, alright?"

My eyebrows knit. "What?"

"I got so caught up with everything else that I didn't think to tell you… You can go home anytime now, Miyuki." One eyebrow raised at him. "Destiny Islands is intact. That's where Kairi is. Whenever you want to go home, you—"

"Are you totally fucking stupid?" I snapped.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to put it off for so long. I was so distracted, I just—"

"What are you _thinking_?" I kicked the side of his leg. "I don't care about Destiny Islands! Why do I want to go to Destiny Islands? I already told you, _that's not home_. That hasn't changed just because I remember the name. And don't you even throw the dream where we stood on the beach in my face – that only felt right because you were there."

He looked stunned at first, blinking at me in confusion. Then his expression slid into a sort of sad look.

"What?" I whispered, my hands shaking now. _Did I say too much? Are you creeped out by that?_

"You just… don't make sense."

"I make perfect sense, thank you very much," I said indignantly, then felt extremely self-conscious under his gaze. _He's… He's trying to think of a way to escape, right? He's not that serious about me?_ My cynical side said that this was true; my logical side said this was false. It was a very rare occasion that those two sides were not coinciding. I shifted uncomfortably. _It's like I'm a little kid who just said a cuss word, and I keep waiting for someone to either laugh or reproach me for it._

Several times, I played the action over in my head. Several times, I tried to coach myself into doing it. Each time, something held me back. Try as I might, I could not lean forward and kiss him.

"I don't deserve you," he whispered.

"Really? I think I'm a just punishment."

He snorted. "Oh, no. You're much worse," he said sarcastically.

"And you're good at changing the subject," I said. "Tell me the story about the paopu fruit, or I'll go ask Naminé."

He huffed. "What if I cut you a deal?"

I narrowed my eyes. "A deal?"

"If you don't have the dream about paopu fruit tonight, I will explain everything to you tomorrow."

"_Everything_?"

"Yes."

"You promise?"

"I swear," he nodded.

"You'd better." My stomach growled and I stood up. "I'm gonna go raid the fridge." I headed towards the door, but he caught my wrist in his hand, standing up.

"Nah," he said. "I've got a better idea."

I stared at him blankly. "What could be better than food?" I mumbled confusedly. He smirked. "Shut up," I said quickly.

"There's a really good pizza place in town," he said, a smile playing on his face.

_Is he…? No, this is just him suggesting we eat something other than bacon and eggs._ "Cool. I'll go ask DiZ if he wants to—"

"Do I honestly look like I want DiZ to come?"

I arched an eyebrow at him. "Well, depending on your sexual preference—"

"It's you," he said simply. My face turned red – his grew all the more smug. "Are we going, or do I need to spell it out for you?"

I pursed my lips and looked thoughtful. "I wouldn't mind you spelling—"

"We're going? How wonderful," he said, heading towards the door, unzipping his jacket.

"For someone desperate for a date, you sure are cocky," I remarked.

He tossed his coat onto the edge of the bookcase by the door, revealing the usual black tshirt and jeans. "Who said I was desperate?"

"Okay, so maybe you aren't desperate – but you sure aren't pulling any punches with the inuendo."

He laid his left arm over my shoulders, his hand dangling over my left shoulder. "I have my reputation to look after." We strode out of the mansion into the twilight, the skin on his arm warm against my neck.

"Right, your reputation with two people who don't give a damn," I scoffed.

"Even so – can't have myself looking weak in front of a pretty girl."

I shot him a look from the corner of my eye. "Naminé _is_ pretty good-looking…"

He snorted. "You're not _that_ stupid."

I grinned. _I love how you insult me and compliment me within five seconds._ There was a short silence. I wanted to make some sort of contact with him in return for the arm over my shoulder – but I didn't know how. Hook my arm around his waist? Reach a hand up onto his shoulder? His arm shifted. _Don't let go!_ My left hand snapped up to his, holding it there. My face turned red again and I stared at my feet as his fingers slipped between mine, entwining our hands in a sort of locked grip.

"You don't mind, do you?" he said quietly, almost shyly.

I snorted and looked up at him. "You're not _that_ stupid," I smirked.

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**A million thank you's for being so patient! :) I'll try to keep updating on a regular basis. *nod* Thank you so much for the reviews!**

**P.S. Misaki sisters, don't sweat it! I still love you! XD**


	25. Chapter 25 Confused Memories

**Just in case I haven't made this clear, I love you guys! :D**

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The moon was struggling to shine through the clouds as we stepped into the shop, which was brightly lit with golden walls, dark wooden tables and the warm scent of cheese and pepperoni.

I raised my eyebrows as Riku pulled my chair out for me. "Uh… Thanks," I said, awkwardly sitting down as he took his own seat across the table.

A girl in an apron walked over with a notepad. "I'm Cassie, I'll be your waitress. What can I get you to drink tonight?"

"Rum and coke," I said seriously. She stared at me blankly a moment, confused as to why this obviously sixteen-years-old girl was asking for alchohol. "Coca-cola," I corrected my joke with a smile.

She nodded vigorously. "Ohh, okay. You?" She turned to Riku and gave him a once-over. Her face turned slightly suspicious.

"Same as the lady," he said, raising his eyebrows at her, noticing the awkward gaze.

"And what kind of pizza?"

We exchanged a glance.

"I'll eat anything. I'm easy," I said.

"Do you like mushrooms?"

"If they aren't poisonous, yes, I do."

"Large pepperoni and mushroom," he said.

"Be right back with that," she gave us a thin smile and stalked off to the back of the restaurant, through the kitchen door, shouting at the chef. "'Ey, Lando! Pep and mush!"

"Stop shortening everything!" snapped a guy's voice from the back.

I shifted my gaze to Riku and leaned forward, lowering my voice. "Was she checking you out? Is that a normal face to make after checking someone out?"

"I doubt she's ever seen someone on a literally blind date."

My eyebrows raised confusedly. "What?"

His arched an eyebrow at me. "My _blindfold_…?"

"You mean the one that _isn't_ on your face?"

He raised a hand to the bridge of his nose, then buried his face in it. "Oh, God."

I laughed. "How can you _not tell_ whether or not you're wearing a _blindfold_?"

He laid his hand back on the table. "Shut up! You know I can see through it," he hissed. "You know why she gave me a funny look—?"

A waiter came over, putting a pizza on the table. "Large pepperoni and yellow pepper." He laid them down on the table and stood upright, putting his hands on his hips, exhaling. He looked at Riku. "Well, you guys, have an awesome—" He looked at me and his mouth opened slightly. "Oh, er, hi Miyuki!"

"O-Orlando!" I blinked hard. "Hi."

"Okay, um… Have a, uh, awesome night, you guys." He nodded, rubbing his hands together nervously as he backed towards the kitchen.

"Did you go _out there_?" screeched Cassie as he entered the kitchen.

He turned to the door and pushed it open. "Chill your buns…"

I looked back at Riku. "You were saying?"

"You know him?" he arched an eyebrow at me.

I shrugged. "Yeah – well, not really. Anyway, what were you saying about the—"

But here the waitress came, a mug in each hand, her tight-lipped smile plastered on her face. "Here you go," she said quietly. "Sorry about that other guy. He's new."

"No problem," Riku said, flashing a polite smile.

"…Right. Well." She gve him the once-over and made a face as she walked away.

I stared at him blankly. "So why…?"

"You're the only one who sees me as a sixteen-year-old," he said quietly. "I look like I'm thirty to everyone else."

I snorted. "Oh, God," I laughed, covering my mouth with one hand.

He shook his head, his face turning red. "Yeah, you laugh. You're not the pedophile."

I struggled to keep a straight face. "You _did_ want a reputation…"

"Not one that could land me in jail," he snapped. "Guess I'll think twice about strutting around like a local next time."

"Oh, please. It's no big deal." There was a brief pause. "Next time?" I echoed his words, pursing my lips as he picked up a slice of pizza.

He held the slice up towards his face, wavering for a moment and cutting me a look with his bright teal eyes. "Eat your food," he said, biting into it.

We ate in silence for a few minutes, satisfying the stomachs that'd been growling for food for the past half hour. I was taking a sip of my soda when he spoke again.

"So how do you know that waiter guy?"

I shrugged again. "He was the clerk at the store where I got my hair dye."

"Hm." He nodded, staring intently at his pizza. I sat my glass down and smiled at him until he looked back up at me. "What's with you?" he asked.

"I dunno. What's with _you_?" I replied.

"I'm just eating pizza and making eyes at a woman twenty years younger than me like I always do," he said coolly. "Excuse me a second." He stood up and headed for the bathroom door.

I crossed my arms and sat back in my chair. _Why's he so cold all of a sudden?_ Orlando stepped over, hands folded behind his back, black hair falling into his face.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a hushed voice.

My eyebrows knit at him. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"I mean, you and Riku weren't—" He stopped and cleared his throat. "Er, I mean, he's like, a lot older than you, this guy, and I just, er…"

I narrowed my eyes at him in confusion.

"H-How are you?" he stammered.

"Dandy," I said.

"Good. Me too. I'll just… Bye." He practically ran back to the kitchen.

"So that guy was chatting with you?" Riku sat down in front of me again.

"Have I said your name once tonight?" I asked.

"What?"

"Your name. Have I said your name the entire time we've been here?"

"…I don't think so. Why?"

"That guy chatting with me? The one who brought the pizza?"

"Yeah?"

"He knew your name."

Riku's expression shifted from one of confusion to seriousness in a second. He exhaled sharply and stood up, heading back to the kitchen with me right on his heels. Instead of openeing the kitchen door, he disappeared in front of it. _He must've reassembled in there with Orlando._ I started to reach for the handle of the door, but it swung open all of a sudden, Riku busting through with Orlando in his grip. I stepped aside and followed them outside. He stormed around the corner, into an alley and let go of Orlando when his back was against a wall.

"How do you know my name?" he asked.

Orlando shrugged, rubbing his arm where Riku'd grabbed him.

"Are you with the Organization?"

"Seriously, dude? If I was with the Organization, you think I'd be slinging pizzas for a chick who's acting like it's 'that time of the month' _all_ month, just to get some munny to keep up with my bill at the inn?" he snapped.

"Then how the hell do you know me?"

"Because of her," Orlando pointed at me.

"I never said _anything_ about Riku," I said, crossing my arms. _And I thought you were just a nice kid._

"Look, you guys, even if I told you, you wouldn't believe me," he shrugged.

"Try us," Riku said.

Orlando sighed, shoulder slumping, wiping his face with one hand. "Honestly, I'm not even sure how it happened. It was like a weird dream… I was myself, but I wasn't in control. Or something like that."

"What was?" I asked.

He cracked a half-smile. "You don't remember me?"

"Of course I remember you. You were that kid in the store. You actually made me laugh, then I bit your head off."

"Before that," he said. "C'mon. You gotta remember me." He took a step towards me – Riku put a hand on his shoulder and glared at him.

"Quit playing around and tell us what you're doing."

Orlando narrowed his eyes at him. "You don't remember either?"

"Obviously not!" I cried. "Spit it out, stupid!"

He looked back at me with a nervous smile. "You called me Nemo, remember?"


	26. Chapter 26 Speak, Fido!

"E-Explain," I stammered.

"I can't," he shrugged. "All I remember is being in that huge mansion, running around with you two all the time. Everything was cold… Except you," he pointed at me, a small smile creeping onto his face. "You were warm. I remember sleeping with you at night was the best feeling in the world."

My face was glowing red now. "Excuse me?"

Riku, whose hand hadn't left Orlando's shoulder, tightened his grip. "You think you were a heartless?" he scoffed, his expression twisting with condescension.

Orlando stared at him with a glint of disdain in his pale blue eyes. "What do I have to do to prove it to you?" He shifted his gaze back to me, his expression softening. "I used to climb onto your shoulders and drum on your head. I poked your forehead to wake you up in the morning."

I swallowed, thinking hard. _This… This doesn't make sense… Heartless don't turn into people. People turn into heartless. This is wrong._

"You _have_ to believe me!" he said, his voice cracking. "What about in the library? You grabbed my hands and spun me around. You were the only person in that dream that made me feel like myself. You said… Ah, what did you say…?" He rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger, looking down thoughtfully.

I glanced at Riku, who had his head turned towards me slightly, and snapped his gaze back to Orlando when our eyes met – like he didn't want me to know he'd been staring at me. I arched an eyebrow.

Orlando snapped his fingers and pointed at me. "'Like I'm standing in the middle of chaos… Trying to pick out a reason to stand there.' _That's_ what you said."

"To Nemo." I nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"But it's so bizarre," he wiped his face with his hand again, his gaze resting on the ground again. "One minute, I was in that… _dream_, running downstairs to greet you after you and Riku got back from that mission…" He brought his eyes back up to mine. "All of a sudden, I'm sitting outside of the general store. And I'm _me_."

"So you remember who you were before you were a heartless?" I asked.

"I only remember bits and pieces… Like, I remember my Mom was really stern, and my Dad didn't talk much. I _really_ like strawberries. I really _hate_ ramen."

"Food preferences. Very helpful," Riku snorted, releasing his shoulder to cross his arms. He kept cutting tiny, almost nervous glances at me. This baffled me.

"Look, I told you, it's not like I know the whole story," Orlando replied with a glare. "Do-Do you guys believe me?" His eyes landed back on me. Somehow, I figured 'you guys' really meant 'you'.

I paused. _What angle could he possibly have? He's not even asking for anything but a little faith._ "Yeah," I said quietly, nodding. "I believe you."

"Awesome!" He stepped towards me, wrapping his arms around my neck in a soft hug. Riku stiffened. My eyes widened, my face bright pink as Riku and I stared at each other awkwardly.

"Quite frankly, it really bugged me when you didn't know who I was the other day by the shop. What happened to you, anyway?" he asked, pulling away and resting his hands in the pockets of his jeans relaxedly as he stood between me and Riku, his back turned to the latter.

"Ah…" I pursed my lips. "It's a long story."

"Since when have I complained about long stories?"

I shot another look past him to Riku before explaining so quickly, I was surprised at myself. "Xehanort was in the darkness Riku put in my heart. When Riku unleashed the dark power in his heart, my heart reacted by unleashing the power of light inside it. So our hearts were trying to find a balance and Xehanort was jumping around in my subconscious having a good old time. Those… episodes were him having fun."

"Creepy," Orlando shuddered.

"Said the ex-heartless," I snorted.

He smiled. "Yeah, I guess you have a point. Do you want to finish your pizza?" He thumbed to the building.

"I don't know. Do _you_, Riku?" I asked.

Orlando took a half-step to the left so that I could see him more easily.

Riku shrugged indifferently.

"…Um…" My eyebrows knit. _Why so silent?_ "…We're gonna head home."

"Oh, yeah! Can I come stay at the mansion again?" Orlando asked.

I looked back at him, surprised. "Oh… I don't know… We'll ask DiZ tonight, how's that?" I said.

"Awesome. See you tomorrow, then!" He grinned and headed back inside.

"Later," I smiled politely and waved.

"Let's go," Riku said quietly, walking past me towards the mansion.

I hurried to his side and matched his pace. His arms were crossed and he was staring down intently, as if the ground ten feet ahead of each step he took was too interesting to tear his gaze away. I mimicked him – exaggerating his look of thoughtfulness by jutting out my chin and furrowing my brow. Ten minutes had passed and we were almost to the woods when I finally broke the silence.

"Alright. What's stuck up your craw?" I said gently, sticking my hands in my pockets and turning my head to him.

"Nothing, I'm just tired," he said absentmindedly, stepping through the hole in the wall. He took my hand as I stepped over the foot of rubble, either out of fear for my balance or the resurrection of chivalry. We walked through the darkened woods, and I twined my fingers around his.

"Did you get enough pizza, or did you just want to get out of there?" I asked.

"You're the one who said we should leave."

I snorted. "You were reinacting a statue. A pissed statue, at that."

"You're making a mountain out of a molehill," he said quietly, still not meeting my gaze.

"…Hm."

Another minute passed, and we stood at the gates of the mansion courtyard. He started to push it open – I halted and tugged him back towards me.

"Speak," I demanded.

He turned to me and crossed his arms, dropping my hand. "Woof," he said.

"Look, Fido, you're not funny, and if you want me to like you, you'd better speak your damn mind."

"It's nothing," he said.

"You are a _terrible_ liar." I shook my head disappointedly and walked past him into the mansion. "I'm not in the mood for this crap."

I heard him follow after me, though he didn't bother to hurry to my side, and I didn't bother to look back. I walked up the stairs and down the hall, reaching for the handle of my bedroom door with a bit of hesitation. _You can go ahead and start talking anytime, now…_ But he just kept walking past me, towards his room. _Damn it, Riku…_

I looked over at him as he walked into his room. _This is awkward… But who cares anymore?_ I walked over and grabbed the edge of the door just before it clicked shut. I swung it open and leaned in the doorway. A candle sat on the edge of the dresser, casting a warm glow across his room. Something cloth hit me in the face, too quickly for me to see it properly, at first. I grabbed it and held it up, trying to make out the silhouette.

"What the hell…?" I muttered.

"I know how you like to play with my underwear," he replied nonchalantly.

I snorted. "Don't insult my intelligence. This is a tshirt."

"You hope." He shut the bottom drawer and stood upright, shirtless but not pantless – he tugged a clean shirt over his head, then walked over to me. Barely two feet from me, he took the shirt from my hands and staring at it a long moment. "This shirt was dirty," he mumbled. His head tilted to one side, his lips pursed, resting his left arm against the wall I leaned against. "'Standing in the middle of chaos,'" he said distantly. Aquamarine, half-closed, unsettled eyes searched mine. "'Trying to pick out a reason to stand there.'"

My shoulders slumped and I exhaled slowly. "I didn't mean for you to hear that."

"That doesn't exactly make me feel better," he said slowly.

"It was still… weird when I said that. I hadn't figured myself out yet."

"And I _get_ that," he said.

"Then what're you so mad about?" My eyebrows knit.

"I stood there and watched some jackass ramble about how you made him feel warm and fuzzy inside, watched him _wrap you in his arms_, and…?" He trailed off, waiting for words – from either of us. My mouth opened, but I didn't know what to say.

His expression turned from agitated to decisive. "It's not fair," he said simply, shrugging and shaking his head. "It's just… not."

"It's not like…" I began, but my train of thought was racing in circles and the conductor was getting nauseous. _It's not like I want him the way I want you. It's not like I'd choose him over you. But do you really want to hear that? You make references and tease me about my reputation… But that's joking. That's teasing. That's not serious._

His face went red and took his arm from the wall, rubbing the back of his neck, looking down. "Yeah…" he mumbled. "Sorry. I'll just…" He stepped backwards, gripping the tshirt in his right hand. "…This needs cleaned…" He stood there awkwardly, staring at the clothing in his hand.

_Shit. Don't do this. Don't act like this is a mistake._ "He's not you," I stammered. He looked up at me with a confused expression. I crossed my arms nervously, staring at the floor between us. "I didn't lay a finger on him tonight. He was cute and little as Nemo… Like an awkward teddy bear…" I forced my eyes back up to his. "Even if he's human now, he's still just that little heartless to me. And you're…" I swallowed. "You're the reason I'm in the middle of chaos."

There was a long pause, in which I stared at my feet, my face bright red.

_Did that make sense? That didn't make sense. This is stupid. I should just leave now. I'm only in the doorway – all I have to do is turn and walk down the hall. Then I'll just hide under the covers and pretend I've died and this will all be much simpler. …No, that's stupid, too. What should I do?_

"If he hugs you again, I'm ripping his arms out of his sockets," Riku grumbled.

My eyes widened and snapped up to his. "That's… violent," I stammered.

"What, do you _want_ him to—?"

"Not necessarily, but he'll need his arms for other things."

"Then he'd better keep his hands to himself." He rubbed the back of his neck again, looking down. "I don't know… I still don't think it's fair."

"What isn't fair?" My eyebrows knit.

He looked at me with an expression I couldn't decipher. It was sort of smug, but more serious than that… He shifted in my direction, taking a sort of awkward-half step towards me. His arms dropped to his sides, his eyes dropped to the floor.

"I don't want to… hear about you from some guy with an identity crisis…" he said, picking his way around his words almost as cautiously as he was picking his way towards me. He stopped when he was about three feet away, his fingers spreading apart and clenching into fists at his side.

"…Oh, fuck it," he whispered. He pulled his eyes back up to mine, his face bright red, and he took one last step towards me. He hooked one arm around my shoulders and the other around my waist, pressing me against him. My arms separated, hooking themselves around his neck, my head tucked over his shoulder. "_I_ want to be the one bragging about how warm you are," he mumbled.

"Who's stopping you?" I replied quietly, leaning back to look up at him with a faint smile.

His eyes drifted away from mine, his face turning red. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

I snorted, my eyebrows raising. "What _now_?"

"Everything I've done to you…" His eyebrows knit. "Why aren't you angry? Why aren't you trying to throttle me? That's what makes sense."

"I've _been_ angry. It's not all it's cracked up to be." There was a pause. _He's not letting it go…_

"I don't understand you…" he mumbled.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, you do," I scoffed. His eyes snapped up to mine in surprise and he blinked hard. I brought my right hand around to his cheek, brushing his jawline with my fingertips. My face was glowing red – but there was no sense in acting shy now. I leaned forward, closed my eyes and pressed my lips against his right cheek. I pulled away an inch or two, and he shifted his eyes to mine. "I forgive you, stupid," I whispered.

"I don't know why," he replied.

He leaned his forehead against mine, his eyes shutting. I was half-expecting him to kiss me, and half-scolding myself for assuming so. A good five minutes passed, in which there was nothing to listen to but the house creaking and his breath as it hit my face. When he finally spoke, it wasn't entirely pleasant.

"It's late. We should sleep," he whispered.

I didn't speak – I'm not sure I could've – I just nodded. He tightened his grip for an all-too-brief moment before letting go. I stepped backwards through the door, both of our faces red as beets.

"'Night," we said at the same time.

I shuffled over to my bedroom door, and, after casting a glance back towards his room and staring at him for another awkward moment, went inside.

_Well,_ I thought, sitting on the bed and kicking off my shoes, _I wonder if I'll dream about paopu fruit tonight?_

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**Seriously, guys, lemme know if you thought this chapter had a little too much smushyness in it. I don't want to get overly sappy.**

**And thanks for all your reviews! They never fail to make my day! :D**


	27. Chapter 27 Rusty

"_That's not your paopu! Give it back!"_

"_I'll race you for it!"_

_I step out of the boat onto the shore of Destiny Islands, my pants rolled up to my knee, my feet bare and squishing comfortably onto the soft sand, water lapping against my shins. Riku's got Sora in a headlock his back to me, and Sora's waving a giant yellow star around._

"_Are you kidding? I spent an hour scrambling up that damn tree!" he shouts, and shifts halfway towards me._

"_Oh, hey, Miyuki!" Sora smiles and waves._

"_Nice try," Riku snorts. "Give me the paopu!"_

_I grinned. "Hi, Sora," I say, waving back._

_Riku's eyes snap over to me and he drops Sora, who spits out an "ACK" as he tumbles to the ground. Riku rubs the back of his neck. "Hey, Miyuki," he says, recomposing his expression of anger into one of nonchalance._

"_What the hell are you doing to him?" I ask, pointing at Sora._

_Sora sat up, shaking the sand from his spikey brown hair. "He wanted you to—" Riku kicked him in the side of the leg. "Ow! Dang, man, what's _with_ you today?"_

_Riku tore the giant star out of Sora's hands. "Hang onto this, will you?" He tosses it to me and I hold it up with both hands, examining it with pursed lips and narrowed eyes._

"_So this is a paopu fruit?" I ask, looking back at them._

"_Yeah," Sora grinned, hooking his hand on Riku's shirt to pull himself up. "Supposedly, if you share it with someone, your—"_

_Riku slapped him on the back of the head. "Go play with Kairi or something, will you?"_

"_Poor sport," Sora grumbled. "Catcha later, Miyuki."_

_I bite my tongue, trying not to laugh at all this. "Later, Sora," I chuckle as he sprints down the shore, towards the other side of the island. I arch an amused eyebrow at Riku, trying unsuccessfully to force back a grin. "You spent an hour up a tree to get fruit?" I say incredulously._

_He shrugs. "It's really good."_

"_You tried to rip Sora's head off for stealing fruit that's 'really good'?" I snort. "Why do I think there's something I'm missing?"_

_He walks towards me, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well… I wanted to try and go about this a little more smoothly…" He rolled his eyes. "Leave it to Sora…"_

_I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "Go about _what_ more smoothly…?"_

_He tapped the fruit in my hands a couple times, his face red as he stared intently at it. "They say if you share that with someone, your destinies become entwined. I used to tease Sora about sharing one with Kairi… But now it doesn't seem like a bad idea."_

_I grinned now, and we both were starting to burn holes through the fruit with our eyes. "…And you were throttling Sora for this?" I shifted my gaze back up to him._

"_I just… really wanted to share with you." He shrugged. "It's not like we don't give each other injuries on a regular basis, anyway."_

_I nodded. "So who takes a bite first?" I arched an eyebrow at him._

_He cleared his throat, his face almost glowing red now. "Um… I don't really know. Maybe, uh, at the same time?"_

_I nod, thoroughly entertained at his lack of composure. I hold it up between our faces with one hand, holding it horizontally, so that we can bite the end off of the points. He lays a hand on the other side of the paopu, staring at me with nervous teal eyes. I'm grinning like an idiot._

_We both lean towards it awkwardly – I close my eyes and bite down, piercing the skin of the fruit – it tastes a little like a strawberry, but sweeter, softer…_

_I open my eyes to see Riku staring at me haughtily, wiping the corner of his mouth with one hand. A chill runs up my spine. His eyes are golden, glinting in the sunlight._

"_You thought you could tie yourself to him without tying yourself to me?" he grins._

_I step away, the paopu falling from my hand. "How?" I stammer. "Y-You're… made of darkness…"_

"_As are we all." He stepped towards me, crushing the paopu beneath his feet. "Embrace it, child."_

_The water around my legs began rising rapidly – I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. He gripped my neck – the smile disappeared. His eyes shifted from teal, to gold, back and forth. I couldn't tell when it was Riku and when it was Xehanrot. His fingers were trembling as they tightened around my neck._

"_I'm so sorry," he whispered. A twisted smile crept onto his face. "Very sorry, indeed."_

I rubbed my arms as I stood on the pad in the computer room, trying to get rid of the goosebumps. "So can Orlando stay here?"

"As intriguing as his case sounds, I am _not_ running a hotel," DiZ said sternly, typing furiously at the comptuer.

"Cool," I nodded.

He shot me a look, his fingers hovering over the keys. "Pardon?"

I shrugged. "I knew Nemo, the heartless. If I could have him back, I would take him. But it isn't Nemo, it's Orlando." _Let's face it – I only wanted an innocent follower._

"Then why did you ask if he could stay?"

"Because I wanted to tell the truth when I said you won't let him stay here."

"And had I told you I would?"

I shrugged. "I can lie when I really want to."

He smiled faintly. "I see. –Ah, you've kept Riku waiting." He looked back at the computer and continued typing. I felt the familiar sensation of being wrapped in a cool sheet, and the goosebumps came back, the hair on my arms and neck standing on end. The blackness that'd covered my surroundings dissipated into warm light once more, the virtual sun shimmering in the sky. I stood in the middle of the Sandlot, Riku right in front of me, hood flipped up and concealing his face.

"Good morning," he said.

I smiled. "Good mor—"

He raised his leg and slammed his foot into my gut. I stumbled backwards, coughing.

"What… the hell?" I sputtered, clutching my stomach with one hand, catching my balance with the other.

"DiZ was right," he said thoughtfully. "You _have_ gotten rusty."

He reassembled himself so that he was inches from me, hitting me in the side. I snapped my hands towards his throat – he brushed my hand away with his left forearm and went to strike me in the face with his right fist. I stepped forward and to the left, slamming my right fist into his stomach. I turned on my left heel and drove my right knee into his groin, slamming my elbow into the side of his head.

We both took a step back, pausing to catch our breath. He was doubled over, his hands on his knees.

"_Rusty_," I spat, glaring at him.

"Point taken," he said. He stood up, rubbing the side of his head, and we now stood on the roof. "Roxas and the others should be coming soon."

"Good. I thought you'd forgotten the goal for a minute."

He shrugged. "It's not like there's any real threat yet. It'll take a while for the Nobodies to realize there are _two_ towns – and even then, they'll have to figure out how it happened." He sat down, stretching one leg out straight, bending the other one and resting his arm on his knee. I sat cross-legged next to him.

_It'll be so bizarre for Roxas when he finds out the truth… And I wonder, how is Naminé taking all of this? She must have feelings for Roxas – or at least, a Nobody's equivalent of feelings… I should ask her about it. It might feel good for her to get it off her chest. …The term 'feel' being used loosely…_

_Speaking of feelings, I wonder how Orlando's doing? It's awkward to think that I was the only one who made him feel something again. Then Riku got so uptight about him…_

I shot a sideways glance at Riku, whose face was still hidden beneath the hood. I hadn't seen his face all day, and I was terribly afraid that I wouldn't see him as himself anymore. The images of his eyes shifting from teal to gold and back again flashed through my mind like a poorly filmed video.

_Xehanort was right. I can't tie myself to Riku without tying myself to _him_._

His head finally turned towards me. "What's wrong?"

"I dreamt about the paopu fruit last night," I said quietly, almost in a whisper.

He exhaled. "Yeah?" he said lightly. A moment passed – his body stiffened. "Right." He looked back out at the sandlot. "Look, it was just a dream. It doesn't mean anything."

I looked down at my lap. "It freaks me out every time something creepy like that happens, though."

"Creepy?" he said, turning his head back to me.

I stared at him blankly a moment. "Um, yeah? Seeing your eyes constantly change color and have your hand around my throat was kind of disturbing."

"What? I never put my hand around your throat."

"You did in _my_ dream," I said.

"Well I _never_ grabbed your throat in mine. You must've had some other dream."

"It started out with me stepping out of a boat and watching you throttle Sora. You spent an hour up a tree to get the paopu fruit, and Sora took it from you or something. When you realized I was there, you got all embarrassed." I grinned.

"I wasn't embarrassed," he protested.

"Oh, you're _very_ convincing," I snorted. "So, you _did_ have the same dream?"

"The same beginning, anyway. When did Xehanort show up?"

"Right after we took a bite of the paopu. Your eyes turned gold and I could tell it was him… He said I couldn't tie myself to you without tying myself to him." I shuddered. "Then he grabbed my throat, and your eyes changed back to normal and you said you were sorry. But you didn't let go soon enough, and your eyes were gold again…" _This sounds so manic…_ I looked over at Riku, who was staring at the Sandlot intently. "How did your dream end?"

He paused. "I, ah, woke up after we bit into it."

"But Xehanort never showed up? You didn't feel any different?"

"He never showed," he said, shaking his head.

"Weird. I don't get why we aren't having the same dreams anymore. If anything, I thought we'd be _more_ in sync, now that we're together."

"It's probably another balance kind of thing." He shrugged. "We had to find each other somehow, so our dreams came together… Now we've found each other physically, and our dreams aren't working as hard anymore."

I stared at him a long moment.

"What?" he said indignantly.

"Not only do you impersonate the Organization and Batman, but DiZ, too! At the _same time_!" I applaused vigorously.

"Oh, shut up!" He shoved me in the shoulder.

"Shhh, they'll hear you," I said, holding a finger up to my lips and pointing at Roxas and the others as they wandered into the Sandlot.

After a moment of silently surveying them, I broke the silence once more.

"What's it like, seeing Sora in someone else?"

He paused. "Weird. Why?"

I shrugged. "Just wondering." I stared at him from the corner of my eye. "Does it piss you off?"

He snorted. "Yeah," he said softly. "It really does."

"Will you kill him, if DiZ asks you?" I stare at my lap, now.

"A Nobody can't die. He simply becomes _nothing_," he replies coldly, automatically.

I turned my head to him with a gaze that didn't like the evasive dance he was doing. "Will you?"

His head stooped a little. "I've done enough damage. He's got to decide for himself if he wants to go back to Sora."

"And if he chooses not to?"

"Sora's such a goodie-goodie, his alter ego isn't even evil," he snorted. "Roxas will make the right choice. You wait and see."

I smiled. _You're afraid, aren't you? You're afraid of seriously hurting someone again. Even if it's Nobody._ He looked over at me, a glint from his blue-green eye reflecting in the light.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

"Mhm." I nodded. "You?"

His tone was a little more certain, a little lighter. "Yeah. I'm okay."

I rammed my elbow into his side, then crossed my arms, directing my focus onto Roxas.

"Hey! What the—?"

"That's for letting me win earlier, you jackass. Don't hold back next time."

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**Thank you for the feedback! :D You guys rock.**


	28. Chapter 28 Aspirin

Riku took my hand again as I stepped over the rubble of the hole leading from the woods, to Twilight Town – the real Twilight Town.

"So what shop does he work at again?" he asked casually, not letting go as I stepped onto the cobblestone street.

"The one… that's like…" I scratched the back of my head with my free hand. "Right around the corner of… Um…" _None of the stupid streets are marked around here!_ "…Know what? You'll find out when we get there."

"Oh, I think I know what you're talking about," he said knowledgably, "The one that's right next to…?" He waved his hand in the air a bit.

"That gate thing! Yeah," I nodded.

"I meant the other thing," he said.

"What, the…? The bridge thing?"

The coat was back at the mansion, so that he could walk around without getting funny looks from people – at least, without _as _funny looks. I could see his expression clearly without the hood, and he made a face I didn't recognize. "No, the other thing."

I paused. "Oh! You mean the big alleyway thing that's there for no apparent reason?"

"No, the thing next to that…"

I recognized the expression now. He was trying not to laugh. I narrowed my eyes.

"You're screwing with me, aren't you?" I asked.

"Yeah, I am," he chuckled softly.

"You suck."

"It's a gift," he shrugged.

I shook my head, smiling a little. _You're so full of it. Especially saying _I'm_ rusty… You've never let me take a shot to your crotch before. You were either holding back or _you're_ getting rusty. I know you were holding back your dark power before, but don't hold back _this_ much. It's just pathetic._

I considered saying this, but we were nearing the shop Orlando worked at, so the conversation would be cut off. Also, I was touching on a sort of sensitive subject, bringing up darkness – something that'd probably be better to bring up in the privacy of the mansion.

"What're you thinking about?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I'll tell you later."

We reached the door of the shop, Riku letting go of my hand to open it, gesturing for me to walk in first. I walked right up to the counter, where Orlando was shaking the register furiously.

"You never work right! Damn it! Give my munny back!" He had both hands on it, waving it back and forth in the air.

"You tell 'im, Lando!" I cheered.

He looked up at me with wide eyes, shoving his hands in his pockets quickly. "Oh, uh, hi, Miyuki," he stammered. "I was just, um…"

"Showing that pompous register who's boss," I smirked. "I understand. Technology was never my strongsuit, either."

He stared down at it. "This piece of crap hasn't worked all day!" He shook his head at the register. "Stupid thing." He looked back at me. "So I can come stay at the mansion, right?"

I twisted my lips to one side. "DiZ isn't going for it."

"But I stayed there as a heartless! What's the difference?"

Riku, who'd been skulking around the front of the store 'til now, walked over and set a small bottle on the counter. Orlando stared at the bottle, then the register, then at Riku, a look of failure spreading across his face.

"Um… The register's out of order…" he said quietly.

Riku clenched one hand into a fist, reached over, and slammed the top of the register. The drawer popped open and he raised his eyebrows at Orlando, who was staring at him with a look of dazed appreciation.

"I could _kiss_ you, man!" Orlando cried.

"I really wish you wouldn't," Riku replied coldly, handing him munny.

I stifled laughter.

"That's such a bummer, though," Orlando said, shaking his head as he slapped the munny into the register, "I don't get it. Does he think I'll get in the way?"

I cleared my throat. "I think he might be getting tired of me, actually. I ask for a lot…" _I haven't seen or heard anything that makes me think he's sick of me… But I do ask for a lot… And I don't want you to feel so bad…_

Orlando pursed his lips, tearing the receipt from the side of the register. "And I just made you ask for more," he mumbled. "Sorry." He shifted his gaze to Riku. "Want a bag?"

"Nah," he replied, shoving the receipt in his pocket.

I shrugged. "It's no big deal. If he wanted me out of there, I would be, right?" I smiled.

"I guess you're right," he nodded. "So what're you up to lately? –Wait, I have an idea. Why don't you come back to Cassie's for pizza tonight? I get an employee discount, so it'll be my treat—"

"Employee discount?" _That dinky little shop gives discounts? I didn't think they would be able to afford it._

"Five percent off any pizza!" he said happily.

_That explains it, then…_ "Oh."

He nodded. "Yeah, so do you want to have dinner tonight?"

I could feel Riku's sideways gaze as I stiffened. "Well, we sort of made plans…"

"Oh. Right." Orlando rubbed the back of his neck, looking down. "Maybe some other time."

I nodded. "Yeah. Have an awesome day!" I flicked my thumb up at him as Riku and I headed towards the door.

He smiled, looking back up at me with a shy smile. "I will," he nodded.

I crossed my arms as we walked back towards the mansion, the sun setting over the rooftops.

"I feel like crud," I mumbled, staring at the ground.

"Crud?" He popped the cap off of the bottle and tossed a couple of pills into his mouth.

I stared at him suspiciously. "What did you buy?"

"None of your business." He shoved the pill bottle into his pocket – but not fast enough that I didn't see the label. I grinned.

"You got aspirin," I chuckled.

"Shut up."

My eyebrows knit at him. "You know, we have potions at home. And you could've cast Cure…"

"We need the aspirin to make more hi-potions – and casting Cure in the middle of town? I'm already a pedophile. I don't need people chasing after me on a witch hunt."

I snorted. "You think people are paying attention to us? This place is like a ghost town!"

"Still. No point in risking it," he shrugged.

"…Yeah, I guess you have a point." I smiled. "So you're still feeling a bit under the weather from our last scuffle, huh?"

He shot me a look. "Do I look under the weather to you?"

"You did with that bottle of aspirin in your hand," I retorted. "I think we need to start training again."

He shrugged. "I don't think it's that important."

"Well, you either held back, or you're starting to suck," I said, "because I have _never_ kneed you in the crotch."

"Of course I held back! I hold back every time we fight. If I went all-out every time we fought, I'd be using darkness and it wouldn't be fair."

"I understand that," I nodded. "What I want to know is why you held back more than usual. Because what if you have to take on someone you don't want to kill, so you hold back, but you hold back so much that they kill _you_?"

"I made one error in judgement – it's not like I'm completely lost."

"You know my skill more than you know anyone else's. If you made in error in judgement with _me_, how much more drastic would it be with someone from the Organization?"

"Something tells me I wouldn't have any qualms with killing someone from the Organization," he scoffed.

"Even if it might not matter, that does _not_ mean you shouldn't practice."

He looked over at me. "You really want to fight, don't you?" he remarked quietly.

"I want you to live," I retorted, shooting him a look.

He smiled faintly and looked down. "Thanks, Miyuki."

"What _now_?" I stared at him from the corner of my eye.

He thumbed towards the shop. "You turned him down for dinner."

I shrugged. "I didn't think you wanted to spend this evening with him."

"But didn't you?"

"Didn't I what?"

"Want to spend this evening with him? You sound like you enjoy his company."

I paused. "Well… I kind of miss him. But I miss Nemo, and as… happy-go-lucky as Orlando still is, he's not the same innocent shadow anymore." I paused. "Still, I feel bad… What if we're the only friends he has? And we just blew him off."

He stared at me cynically. "'We'?"

I shot him a look. "Okay, so you never really acted friendly towards him – but still. I know what it's like to be alone. I don't want to be the person who adandoned him."

"Being alone teaches you about yourself. That's at least one thing being separated from my friends has taught me – the difference between who I am, and who I want to be. He's a big boy, Miyuki. He can take care of himself."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…" I looked at him for a long moment, those words echoing through my mind again.

"_You thought you could tie yourself to him without tying yourself to me?"_

He stared at the street ahead, his hand sliding around mine.

"_I'm so sorry," he whispers. A twisted smile creeps onto his face. "Very sorry, indeed."_

A chill ran up my spine.

_I don't care how many demons you carry around inside you. I know you're stronger than them… than _him_._

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking at me with knit eyebrows.

It was difficult to yank myself out of my own thoughts. "What?"

"You look worried."

"I do?"

"What are you thinking about?"

I rubbed the back of my neck with my free hand. "Well… Xehanort thinks he's this big bad dude, right? He thinks if I decide to stay with you, I'm deciding to stay with him. Which, in a way, is true – but mostly, it isn't." I paused. He looked lost. "So, being with you is being with your personal demons. So, those demons are spreading into me and screwing with my head. So, what? It's not like they dominate you. And it's not like I don't have issues of my own." I paused again, my face going red. He didn't look confused anymore – just thoughtful. "…You _did_ ask…" I mumbled.

"Yeah, I did." He swallowed, looking down, his hand tightening around mine. "I still hear him sometimes. Like he's right next to me. It wouldn't be so bad, if I could just drown him out, but he makes _sense_. Especially when it comes to you." His voice was tight, strained. "I know you'd be better off without me – I don't want you to leave, but I know I could do serious damage. The thing is, _he_ knows it too – and he keeps reminding me – and his voice keeps getting louder…"

I stopped and turned to him. "Don't listen to that shit. If I wasn't with you, I'd still be looking for a sanctuary. And you just popped some aspirin because of me – I'm not afraid of you."

"The only reason you were able to hit me was because I was holding back too much. You said so yourself. Why do you think I'm holding back more than usual?"

"Whatever! You don't scare me. Xehanort creeps me out, sure – but I even kicked _him_ in the face."

"And the dreams where I've got you by the neck?" he raised his eyebrows. "You didn't fight at all."

"I was taken by surprise!"

"And you won't be any less surprised at the full extent of my abilities. If I don't keep myself in check when I fight you, I could seriously hurt you. That's the only reason it'd be safer for you to leave me. And _that's_ why it's so damn hard not to listen to Xehanort. He's a son of a bitch, but sometimes he makes sense."

I was having issues coming up with a response to this, and for a long moment, we just stared at each other.

"I'm still not leaving," I mumbled.

He shook his head. "I still don't want you to."

"I guess Xehanort's going to have to just keep throwing hissy fits."

He snorted, a faint smile crossing his face. We started towards the mansion again. I wasn't entirely sure when, but sometime during our conversation, he'd dropped my hand – which was fine with me, because he now hooked his arm over my shoulders.

"Do you want another aspirin? Because I bet that shot," I reached up and poked the bruise on the side of his head teasingly, "_really_ hurts…"

He flicked me in the ear with the hand resting on my shoulders. "Please," he scoffed. "I've been hit harder by Kairi."

"Maybe you forgot, but I don't know Kairi."

"You know Naminé."

"But do Nobodies have the same personality as their somebodies?"

"Usually – though, Naminé is a lot more reserved than Kairi."

"Hunh." There was a pause. "I wonder what my Nobody would be like."

He shrugged. "Probably as proud and violent as you are."

I shot him a look. "Well _there's_ the plot calling the kettle black."

"It's not your fault you want to be just like me," he said haughtily.

I snorted. "And make DiZ put up with two like you? I'm a twisted kid, but I'm not _that_ malicious."

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**Sorry I took so long to post! I've been rather "O.O WAIT WHAT" with my novel/fanfic/new story ideas lately. Never fear! I shall attempt to post new chapters quickly. Thank you for your reviews! 8D**


	29. Chapter 29 Where the Lines Overlap

Okay, so I just realized I accidentally typed "There's the plot calling the kettle black!" in the last chapter. I apologize. Blatant typos like that really tick me off. - -

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_I'm still sixteen, but I sit at the table in the ice cream parlor with my Dad._

"_You take the option of confronting fear, _every time_ it's presented to you. Understand?"_

"_Yeah, Dad, I understand."_

_His expression turns from comforting and supportive, to suspicious. "So tell me about this kid who's been following you around all the time."_

_My face turns red. "I dunno who you're talking about."_

"_Yeah, you do. That kid with a guilt trip so big he's got bruises." He speaks lightly, comfortably, smiling at his joke._

_I clear my throat. "Oh. Well. He's… nice." I shrugged, staring at my ice cream._

"How_ nice?"_

"_Is this really the only reason I'm sitting here? So you can interrogate me about boys?"_

"_Hey, all the other dad's get to do this! Why shouldn't I?"_

"_Shouldn't we be talking about the good old times or something? It's not like I have all night!"_

"_I want to know that you're in good hands."_

"_I-I'm not in anyone's hands," I stammer._

_He chuckles. "I'd have hoped you grew up to be a better liar."_

"_Hey!" I kick his shin under the table. "I'm an awesome liar!"_

"_You can't even lie about lying!"_

"_Can, too!"_

"_Cannot!"_

"_Can, t—This is dumb!"_

"_Your Mom said that whenever she was losing an argument, too," he chuckles again, and all at once, shadows are wrapping over his arms – around his neck – covering his face. _

"_W-Wait," I stammer, unable to move. "We're not done talking!"_

_He tries to speak, but his voice is muffled, and soon, I can't breathe. Yellow eyes – quickening heartbeat – air rushing from my lungs—_

My eyes widen and I chuck my pillow across the room, crying out a dry, thin scream. Pulse pounding in my ears, my scream echoing across my mind, I stared at the pillow I'd unthinkingly pitched.

_I just screamed? What the hell? I never scream! _I was ranting in my head to no one. _Do you know why I never scream? Because I'm not a little girl. I didn't scream when my parents died, I didn't scream when Yuffie accidentally hooked a shuriken under my fingernail. Because screaming signifies weakness, and _I'm not weak_!_

I stood up and walked over to the door, where my pillow had landed. Just as I bent down to grab it, it swung open and knocked me in the head. I stumbled, toppling backwards onto my bum, pillow in hand.

"Miyuki? I'm so sorry! Are you all right?" Naminé opened the door, one hand to her mouth, eyes wide.

"I'm fine," I said casually, standing up and chucking the pillow back at my bed.

"But… Didn't you scream?" She stepped back from the doorway, letting me into the hall.

I nodded. "Yeah, sorry about that…"

"Oh, don't apologize! I just wanted to know if you were okay."

"Aside from being hungry, I'm doing great," I said, smiling and stomping down the stairs with her delicately cavorting along beside me. I slowed to a stop as we neared the kitchen door, listening to the increasing volume of the discussion inside.

"…with thinning numbers, Xemnas cannot be feeling easy. They'll notice the expanded area soon, no doubt. And when they do, you must take extreme caution, Riku."

"Why are we standing here? What's wrong?" Naminé asked quietly.

"Shh," I held my index finger up at her.

"I'm always cautious. Are you saying they're already about to find the virtual town?"

"They very nearly have – and when they do, our anonymity will be shattered. I trust you'll warn Miyuki?"

"I will."

"I can only allot you so much time for training. I can keep a well enough eye on Roxas, however—"

"I doubt we'll need much time."

"Don't rush on Roxas' account," DiZ said, a hint of amusement in his tone.

Riku's voice remained cold. "Miyuki and Naminé should be here by now—"

I opened the door lazily, though I felt very intrigued at the moment. _We won't 'need much time', huh? You're either planning on holding back too much or not enough so that one of us wins easily…_ "Good morning," I said with a smile.

"Morning," DiZ nodded in a greeting.

"What was the scream about? Are you okay?" Riku asked, his voice oddly stiff from the conversation with DiZ as he leaned against the counter.

I shrugged. "Mhm. Just a weird dream." I shot him a small smile, taking bacon from the counter onto my plate. _You go ahead and think you're getting out of training easily._

After scarfing down bacon faster than anyone in the room ever had and not bothering to demand Naminé let me do dishes, I matched Riku's sluggish pace towards the back courtyard. He said next to nothing – I followed suit in that way, too.

I shot him a look. "Want to warm up with some heartless?"

"Do you want to?"

"Nah. I just wanted to know if this new, weaker style of fighting needed preparation before a scrap like one of ours," I shrugged, hoping to get under his skin with the blatant slam.

"Pretty cocky." He swept his leg towards my knees; I stepped back.

He took a step forward, swinging his right fist towards my stomach, and I twisted my left arm around it, thrusting a fist of my own towards his gut. He lifted his knee, blocking my hand, jamming his foot into my thigh. He gripped my shoulder with his right hand – he heistated. I slammed my fist into his throat, then his shoulder. I stepped away as he choked, slamming his fist against his chest.

"You fucking idiot!" I spat.

"What's stuck up _your_ craw?" he wheezed.

"What the hell's the matter with you? Don't you _ever_ hesitate! Not with anyone!"

"You'd rather I blew you across the courtyard?"

"You left yourself so open, I could've killed you seventeen different ways! Are you fucking demented?" I shouted.

"Calm down!" he said, his breath returning.

"Pull your head out of your ass!" I snapped. "Now _do some damage_!"

I stepped towards him, swing my fist towards his face. He deflected it and stepped away. I swung my other fist towards his stomach – he deflected it and stepped away.

"Jackass!" I spat.

I snapped my hand towards his throat again – he grabbed it with his left hand and twisted my arm, shoving it back and down to my side. He stepped towards me and I brought my knee up to his groin and slammed my left fist into his ribs. He winced, his grip loosening on my arm. I turned on my heel and swung my knee into his side – I saw his body bow against it.

"_Coward_!" I shouted, planting my foot on the ground and slamming my fist towards his throat.

His next movements were fluid, rapid. He gripped my wrist with one hand, snapped it down and back, striking me in the stomach so hard I stumbled backwards breathlessly. He yanked me back towards him by my arm, spraining my shoulder and slamming his fist into my torso again. My sight was blurred as I tried to retaliate – his face was hidden beneath that damned hood, so the person beneath it could be…

_Yellow eyes – quickening heartbeat – air rushing from my lungs—_

My reaction was entirely instinct.

_Thundaga. Blizzaga. Firaga._

This didn't phase him much; his grip loosened just enough that I could step towards him and swing my fist towards him. He gripped my throat, dropping my arm, squeezing until I couldn't think. His fingers relaxed; trembled against my skin; he backed away. His chest heaved up and down, his hands clenching into fists.

A whisper escaped the shadow of the hood, and though the voice was soft and young, I had no idea who was really speaking. "M-Miyuki…"

I was still struggling to catch my breath; furious tears welled up in my eyes as the dream repeated itself in my mind.

_The water around my legs began rising rapidly – I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. He gripped my neck – the smile disappeared. His eyes shifted from teal, to gold, back and forth. I couldn't tell when it was Riku and when it was Xehanort. His fingers were trembling as they tightened around my neck._

"_I want to know that you're in good hands," Dad said._

The voice before me spoke again. "I am _so_—"

"Shut up!" I snapped, my hand shaking as I brushed my fingers across my neck.

"Miyuki, p-" He cut himself off as I shook my head, stepping back.

_I know who Riku is. I just can't tell when it's Riku in that body. And all those dreams – trying to throttle me – were they premonitions?_

"I'm… I lost myself for a minute," he stammered, stepping forward.

I hesitated a moment – then words exploded from me.

"You're hopeless!" I spat, a look of disgust washing over my face. "All this time to 'find yourself' and you don't even know where you end and Xehanort begins?" I slammed my fist into his shoulder. "Are you just like the rest of the darkness, then? All you can do is seduce or fight? Way to stay strong!" I shoved the heel of my hand into his sternum. "Who are you? Do you even know anymore?" I knew, somewhere in my jacked up head, that I needed to shut up. But everything was spilling out so quickly, and I just kept hitting him in the chest, and he just stood there, taking it, letting me… "Hiding under that hood, like DiZ and Naminé might forget! Like _I might forget_! As if anyone _could_!"

"I wear my hood up because I don't want to remind him of what he did," he said quietly.

"What?" I hissed, my hands wavering in the air.

"I look like Xehanort's heartless. That's just one big mistake to shove in his face. But if I have the hood up, it's not as obnoxious."

"But it doesn't _change_ anything," I spat, hitting him one last time and stepping away.

"No, I guess it doesn't," he mumbled, his head hanging.

I ran a hand through my hair. "Until you know exactly where to draw the line between you and Xehanort, don't touch me. At all." I swallowed and crossed my arms, shaking my head. "Because this is unacceptable."

He nodded. "I understand."

I cleared my throat. "I'm gonna go visit Orlando in town while you keep an eye on Roxas, if that's okay with you."

"That's fine," he nodded again.

"Great. Bye." I walked through the mansion, towards town, my face tearstained as I pushed my hair back.

_Goddamn it. I just _had_ to press the issue.  
_

* * *

Isn't "cavort" an amazing word? Annnd, listen to the song "Shadows" by Red. It's pretty effing amazing.

By the way, I worked INSANELY hard to get this chapter out before I go to my Grandpa's tomorrow and stay there for the next four days (with no internet). I hope you liked it! - -'


	30. Chapter 30 Unsettled Idiot

**Oh, just so you know, I didn't think the song "Where the Lines Overlap" really fit the last chapter. I just thought the title did, so I used it… I suck at titles. ^^' I love how everyone immediately recognized it, though.**I stepped into the shop, rolling my head until my neck cracked. "Hey, Or—" I stopped short when I realized the person behind the counter was someone else. It was a straight shot from the door to the counter and I stood awkwardly at the entrance. "Oh. Hi," I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

* * *

"Hello," the man said politely. "Can I help you find something?"

"Yeah, is Orlando here?"

"I'm sorry, he didn't show up for work today. Is there anything I can do for you?"

My eyebrows knit. _I hope he's just playing hooky…_ "Ah… Not really. Um… Thanks," I smiled awkwardly and headed back out into the street. _I'll bet he's at the pizza shop._

He wasn't at the pizza parlor _or_ the inn, and now a sick feeling entered my stomach. _…Shit… What happened? I'm scared now… Wait. Roxas hangs out with those three kids in the virtual town. And DiZ based everything off of _this _town. Orlando's easy to get along with – maybe he's hanging with them. _

I started through Tram Common, towards the Sandlot, the argument repeating itself in my head.

"_I'm… I lost myself for a minute."_

"_You're hopeless! All this time to 'find yourself' and you don't even know where you end and Xehanort begins? Are you just like the rest of the darkness, then? All you can do is seduce or fight? Way to stay strong!"_

Replaying it over and over in my head was turning torturous – I couldn't find an explanation to back up what I'd said except that I'd been scared stupid.

_I basically told him that he was right all along, I shouldn't hang around him, and I don't know the difference between him and Xehanort. So the chance of him believing me when I tell him I didn't mean it is going to be…_

I shook my head.

_Why did I push him? Why? What is _wrong_ with me?_

I walked into the Sandlot to see a group of teenagers beating on each other with foam swords. I scanned them for Orlando – he was nowhere.

"Hey! You guys seen a lanky kid with black hair?" I shouted. They froze, staring at me like I had two heads. _What, is it my hair?_ "Look, I've had a shitty morning, so if you could tell me where he is, that'd be awesome."

"Do you know just _how many_ people you just described?" one guy with a beanie scoffed.

"He has a lip ring and an unnaturally kind disposition," I said, crossing my arms.

"The boy who works at the general store?" said a girl with brown hair.

"Yeah! You seen him?"

"Well, earlier this morning I saw him headed towards the shop. But that was at like, six."

"What were you doing at six a.m.?" another boy looked at her confusedly.

"You don't want to know," she shook her head, looking down.

"Thanks," I said, smiling slightly and heading towards the station plaza. _Shit… I hope he's alright… No, this is ridiculous. I'm not going to have a fit. He's probably at the beach or something. It's no big deal. I need to stop acting like his mother._

My practical side said this was true – but a wavering, uncertain side said something was wrong. But what could I do? He could be in another world, for all I knew. He could even be in the virtual town – unlikely, but I hadn't been at the mansion for a good hour, so anything was possible. That was also the only place I hadn't looked for him yet… I headed up towards the hole in the wall, strolling across the plaza lethargically.

_Riku's probably at the virtual town right now… I bet DiZ doesn't care if I go help him… "Help" here meaning "explaining what I'm really thinking while Roxas remains oblivious to anything and everything…"_

I started to step over the rubble of the hole, feeling a little unbalanced, since I'd become so used to him helping me over it. This made me feel ridiculous as I strode past a tree.

_I can step over some stupid rocks on my own, thank you very much!_

My foot hooked on a root and I stumbled forward, waving my arms wildly to catch myself before I fell over. One foot was still planted firmly on the ground, and I yanked my toes free of the tree's grip. Apparently trees heard my thoughts, and wanted to make sure I knew they were smarter than rocks.

_I still don't get why I acted so extremely. When I think about what I said, I feel so stupid… But in the moment, it felt so correct. I was just scared. I pushed him too far, and cried when I got what I asked for. I'm such a bitch…_

I rubbed the back of my neck as I walked through the front courtyard, my expression sheepish.

_I won't blame him if he tells me to go away._

I felt unsettled as I opened the front door, stepping into the foyer. I swallowed and told myself to relax – that if he was still taking what I'd said seriously, that was okay. I'd just leave him alone until things smoothed over… if they ever would. But there was no taking back what I'd said, and the only thing I could do was explain what I was really thinking – not just what I was fearing.

_Because I wasn't saying really what I think – I was saying what I was afraid of – and the threatening moment made me feel like those fears were actualities._

I stood in the library, staring at the open bookcase with wide eyes. The bookcase was never left standing open. Never. I stared around the room, shutting the door to the foyer behind me. "What's going on?" I whispered, half-expecting a giant heartless – or Organization XIII member – to leap out of the dark staircase at me. The tense silence was broken by DiZ's booming, angry voice, making me jump.

"_Well_?" it echoed up the stairs.

Riku's voice was rather loud, but wavering, embarrassed. "You said you can—"

"I can keep an _eye_ on him! The incident with the Dusks was so sudden, I had _no time_ to come and _fetch_ you from your little game of cat-and-mouse with—"

He was getting angry now. "It was hardly a _game_—"

"Spare me! That girl is beginning to go to your head! Do not forget—"

"I nearly ripped her head off!" His voice was deeper and louder now, but more strained. "I could've killed her!"

"Good for you!" he scoffed, "Your skills are amazing! How much more time are you going to waste on _proving yourself_?"

There was a pause.

DiZ's voice was cold but curious as he broke the silence. "I thought you said you had the darkness under control?"

"Apparently not very well. I was holding back too much. She pushed me. I lost it for a split second… I wasn't… myself…"

"…Ridiculous!" DiZ hissed. "She _has_ gotten to your head. Foolish children!"

"I'm sorry, _who're_ you calling foolish?" Riku's voice was sarcastic and bitter.

"The fact remains that Roxas was very nearly abducted today," DiZ's voice had a bit more authority in it now, though still cold. "And you were off meddling about—"

"Then I'd better get to that virtual playground to keep an eye on him _now_, shouldn't I?"

"Yes, you had!"

There was a very tense silence and I slowly turned the knob, waiting for the soft buzzing sound of Riku immaterializing into the virtual town. Concealed beneath the hum of the computer, I opened the door and shut it again quickly, this time back in the foyer.

I buried my face in my hands.

_Shit._

My mind was entirely blank aside from that. I wandered up the staircase, through the hall, and into Naminé's room – her drawing room, at least.

It was empty, aside from the giant vase full of very pale yellow roses. I wandered back to the drawings, staring curiously at the three figures lined up on the beach, hand-in-hand. Left to right, it was Kairi, Sora and Riku – roughly, anyway. The sketches weren't exactly detailed.

_Maybe I should go home. Maybe I should just let him live his life and get on with my own at Destiny Islands. If we're meant to be, I'll find him there, right?_

I wiped away the stupid tear that'd leaked out of my left eye, onto my cheek.

_Why am I crying? It's no big deal…_

"Are you alright?" said a small voice from inside the room.

I looked around wildly and noticed that the vase full of flowers hid the chair at the end of the table perfectly – and sitting in that chair was Naminé. I stepped towards it and to the right a little. Now I could see her, bent over her sketchbook with a brown crayon.

"How long have you been here?" I asked.

"Since before you walked in."

"You are _quiet_," I said, amazed.

She smiled slightly. "It's a helpful talent."

"It's a creepy talent," I snorted, smiling back. "Say something next time, huh?"

"You didn't say anything," she said apologetically. "I-I thought you wanted it to be quiet…"

"Oh. Well, thanks then," I rubbed the back of my neck. "Anyway, it's no big deal… Drawing Sora, I take it?" I smiled, pointing at the sketchbook in front of her. She nodded. "Can I see?"

"Of course," she said, shrugging and turning it as I walked over and stood by her. She watched me as I leaned forward, my hands on the table, staring down curiously at the scene – Sora and Roxas, hand-in-hand, in front of a big black hole – only, Sora's hair was nonexistent at this point. I assumed that was what she'd been working on when I interrupted.

"Why are you crying?" she asked in a sort of detached tone.

I looked up at her, a little surprised. "Um…" I wiped my eye again, trying to make sure the signs of any more tears were gone. Just the one had fallen onto my cheek… Was she that observant? "…I'm… an idiot."

Her eyebrows knit slightly. "Really? –No, I didn't mean it like that. It's just … You don't seem like the self-loathing type."

_She never seemed that intrigued by me before. Maybe… she's wondering what it's like to be whole…? But that's sort of arrogant to assume…_ "Well, I've done some stupid- er, things." Being around her made me want to speak more politely.

"Everyone does." She paused. "What'd you do, that you feel so idiotic?"

I took a deep breath. "Well…" I wavered. _Oh, screw it. I'm spilling my guts._ "So we were training, right? I knew he'd hold back way too much, and I wanted to push him, to make him learn that he doesn't have to let me totally beat him up just so he doesn't kill me or whatever. Well I pushed, and pushed, and he snapped, and he got me by the throat – something I've had nightmares about quite frequently – and he kept squeezing, and I freaked out, but I couldn't _do_ anything. So he lets me go, and I tell him all these things… All these horrible things… But I only said them because I was scared."

"Of what?"

"…Of him throttling me?" I said, arching an eyebrow at her.

She shook her head slightly. "No… I don't think so. You didn't know him, but you followed him into a dark corridor. You let a hundred shadows under his command attack you." I stared at her blankly a moment. "I don't know," she said dismissively, shrugging. "I just can't imagine you being afraid of dying."

"_You take the option of confronting fear, _every time_ it's presented to you."_

I cleared my throat. "I've been an idiot," I mumbled. _I've completely forgotten who I want to be._

* * *

**Thank you all so freaking much for hanging in here during the emo part of the story. ^-^ Not many people take the serious with the funny. And yes, things will get lighter-hearted, I promise. :)**


	31. Chapter 31 Apologies to a Door

I'd been sitting in the library, reading the same page of _The Heartless Bible_ (a list of heartless, their pictures, and their strengths and weaknesses) for about an hour now. I tried to actually comprehend the words on the page, but my mind kept wandering away, running over what I wanted to say to Riku when he got back from the virtual town. There was no way I was going to bother DiZ right now – especially considering that it was pretty much my fault Roxas almost got abducted.

The sentences of the explanation of what I was _really_ thinking kept ending with the same words – "I'm so sorry". I didn't figure this to be a bad thing, necessarily, but I knew how frustrated I got when Riku wouldn't stop apologizing…

The bookcase hadn't shut – I wondered if it was stuck – and DiZ's voice quietly wafted up the stairs. I stood up as silently as I could and stepped closer to the top of the stairs.

"…Organization XIII is growing desperate, as well. They'll not take him from us easily. That is why I scattered photographs of Roxas throughout the town."

At first, I thought he was talking to himself, but now Riku's voice faintly came – "The Nobodies can't tell the difference between these and the real thing?"

"To the underlings, they all appear to be Roxas. Organization XIII… Don't think you can just do as you please in my realm." There was a pause. "It's that meddling redhead. Keep a close eye on Roxas."

"I will."

Now DiZ's voice was a bit lighter, a bit amused. "That outfit becomes you."

Riku remained cold. "Cut it out. I'm not wearing it because I like it."

DiZ snorted. "Heh… Indeed. At any rate, doubtless, he'll awaken soon."

There was a sort of shuffling noise, and before I realized their conversation was over, a hooded figure was standing in the doorway. His shoulders were tense, his hands clenching into fists.

"Er – Hiya, handsome," I stammered.

"Reverting to your old habits, I take it?"

"If you didn't want anyone listening in, why leave the door propped open?" I pointed at the bookcase.

"It's not propped, it's stuck. …I'm tired. I'm going to bed."

I pursed my lips uncertainly as he headed out to the foyer. _Well, there goes opportunity number one…_ I considered going out to him, following him around, explaining myself until he believed me – but it seemed like the wrong time. I rubbed the back of my neck uncomfortably. _Well, what now? I don't know what to do anymore… I'm pathetic…_

"Miyuki, might I have a word?" DiZ said from the computer room.

"Oh, uh, sure." I stomped down the steps and walked over to the computer. "Look, before you rip me a new one, I am _so_ sorry. It's all my fault that no one was around when Roxas ran into those Nobodies. I shouldn't have—"

I fell silent as he held up one hand, turning from the monitor and standing up. He walked past me towards the wall that was now splitting to reveal the room with three pods. He walked in about ten feet, me close behind him. He stopped as I stepped to his side, both of us staring up at the pod Sora was sleeping in.

"This boy is our only hope," he said quietly. "He is the reason Riku works so hard." I stared at DiZ blankly, silently. "Nothing has ever distracted him from the ultimate goal of recovering Sora's memory. We are terribly close to his awakening – terribly close to the beginning of the end of this journey." He looked at me from the corner of his eye. "Do you follow me?" I nodded. He focused back on the pod. "You are the one exception. You are the only thing that has ever pushed its way to being the priority over Sora's awakening, in Riku's mind." I felt a small flare of indignance at this – but no retort formed in my head. He turned to face me now, and I did the same. "Miyuki, he is balancing quite the plateful. I beg you not to tip it over."

I swallowed. "I won't."

"Thank you." He wasn't smiling, his tone wasn't particularly nice – but his eyes seemed to reflect kindness as he headed back into the computer room with me.

There was a sort of settled silence as I headed up the stairs, as if DiZ had gotten it off of his chest and was satisfied now. _No wonder he was the leader of his world_, I thought, crossing the foyer, _He definitely has a presence…_

The sun had just set, the last remnants of warm light hovering in the clouds, twilight approaching swiftly. The hall was barely lit by the cool light, and I wavered at his door, worrying, for a split second, that I might wake him up. Then I realized it had barely been fifteen minutes since he told me he was going to bed, and that few people who were only as tired as he was, could fall asleep quite so quickly.

I knocked softly. "Hey. It's Miyuki. Um… You don't have to say anything." Truth be told, I was terrified that at any moment he'd swing the door open and tell me to get lost – I was glad the door was still shut. "I know you're probably pissed… or hurt… or something. I just wanted to let you know… I'm really sorry. Well, more like really really really really extremely sorry. I'm an idiot for saying what I did, and you're probably thinking I'm a hypocrite – which, if those words were what I really think, I would be. But I only said them because I was scared – and it was my fault that I got scared – and you don't have to forgive me. At all. I just… I meant it when I said I see you for yourself. I can tell when it's Xemnas acting up in you. I could in the courtyard this morning. It was Xemnas, not you. I know you. I know you wouldn't do that. That being said, I'm a coward and an idiot for saying what I did. It wasn't what I think – it was what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid for you. I'm afraid of you losing yourself. And… I'm really sorry." I stared at my feet, tears dripping onto my shoes.

A hand rested on my shoulder – I jumped and turned around to see Riku standing there, ripped up cloth wadded up in one hand, pale grey hair spilling over his bare shoulders. Teal eyes were set in an expression mixed with concern and amusement.

"You look stupid talking to an empty room," he said quietly.

My face went a deep shade of red. "How long have you been standing behind me?"

"Since 'really really really really extremely sorry'."

My heart was in my throat. "I should never have said those things," I breathed.

He nodded. "So I've heard."

"I can see the line between—"

"Didn't you hear me? I heard everything."

"I'm trying to tell it to _you_, not your door," I said, wiping my face. "Anyway, I… I was wrong. I'm not going to talk to you like that again. Because it's not what I really think of you. I think you're…" My eyes wandered back to my feet. "You're strong, and funny, and you're real. You don't put on a show. You don't try to hide anything – but you don't flaunt it, either."

He paused before speaking. "But you were right. I _shouldn't_ be around you until I know exactly where to draw the line."

I exhaled, and my breath was coming back very gradually. He walked past me into his room, chucking the wad of cloth onto the floor, pulling a new shirt out of his dresser and on over his head. I turned to face him as he walked back over to me, arms crossed, leaning against the doorway. His expression was somber.

"I came so close to hurting you…" he shook his head, looking down. "It's so much safer for you…"

_I knew it. I knew this would happen. I went and confirmed what he suspected, and now I can't take it back. Shit._ DiZ's words echoed through my mind as I stared at my shoes. _"Miyuki, he is balancing quite the plateful. I beg you not to tip it over." I've got to keep it together._ I nodded. "Yeah, um… If you think that's what's best, okay." I knew my face was wet, but I was able to keep my voice steady, and if I didn't go to wipe my eyes, maybe he wouldn't notice… "How will I get back to the islands?"

"DiZ should be able to…" He trailed off. "…I just want you to feel comfortable around me. If I have to get a grip first, I will."

"Ha," I laughed hollowly, "How do you intend to do that, exactly?" I brought my eyes back up to his, and a sort of surprised recognition washed over his expression. "It's not like you can dissect your heart and draw a little line between the light… and… darkess." My words were slowing, because he wiping my cheek with his index finger.

"You're crying," he said, rubbing his thumb against the tears on his finger.

"…Another bad habit of mine…" I grumbled, looking down.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just… If you really think I should leave, I'll just…" I was about to head down the hall, when he caught my hand in his.

"I don't think you should," he said.

I stared at him confusedly. "You said I should leave."

"I only think you should if you think you should."

I blinked. "But I just told you I was wrong – that I can tell the difference, and—"

"You could've been saying that to make me feel better. If you want to go home, I'm not going to stop you. But if you don't mind staying…"

"No. I do not want to go home. I thought… I thought you wanted me to, because of what I said…"

"All the terrible things I've said and done to you, and you think I'm ready to ditch you at the first seriously insulting comment?" He shook his head. "I'm tougher than you think."

I swallowed. "Thank you," I whispered.

He nodded. "So what do I have to do to make you feel more comfortable around me?"

I snorted. "But I _do_ feel comfortable around you. That's why everything I said back there was so different from what I really think – because you were so different from your real self." I wiped my face with the back of my hand.

He nodded slowly, his eyes shimmering in the pale light. "I wish we'd straightened this out sooner. I hate it when you cry."

My face went a little red. "Yeah, so do I."

He snaked one arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him, pressing his lips against my forehead. My free hand rested against his chest, his heart beating fervently beneath it while his hand gripped my other. "Just… don't go," he mumbled, pulling his head back.

Before I could utter a response, or even really come up with one, his lips were brushing against mine. He was berathing almost as unevenly as I was, his skin warm and inviting. I leaned forward, sliding my hand up around his neck. Anything to keep him from pulling away. Anything to make this last a little longer. Everything inside me was twisted up – every hair was standing on end. His forehead tilted against mine, his jaw titling away. He exhaled and I opened my eyes to see him beaming at me with a smile. This wasn't the faint remnant of a smirk he'd always worn before – this was an unspoiled, all-out grin.

"I'll stay," I nodded very slightly. He tucked his lips against mine once more, a bit more firmly – my head was getting a bit light – I reached the other hand towards his neck – the library door creaked open and shut, the noise echoing through the foyer and halls. Our eyes snapped open and we stepped away from each other, staring at one another awkwardly. He glanced past me, past the banister, down at the foyer – DiZ was striding through it, towards the kitchen.

"…She didn't even pick up eggs…" he grumbled, hands hooked behind his back.

Riku shifted his gaze back onto me, and both of our faces flushed red.

"DiZ kind of sucks," he snorted.

"Kind of," I laughed a little, nodding.

"Well, I'd better go shower," he said, thumbing behind himself, towards the bathroom.

"And I'll go, um…" I really had no idea what I would go do, but he nodded anyway.

"Right."

The moment he shut the door, I had a sort of fit. This involved pumping my fist into the air and an awkward victory dance.

"I love my life," I mumbled, grinning as I walked down to help DiZ make dinner.

* * *

**Just so you know, you guys rock. I love your feedback, it makes my day! ^-^**


	32. Chapter 32 Forgotten Somethings

_Waves lap against my shin – the sun is smiling down on me. I don't know how I got here – I _definitely_ don't know how _she_ got here._

"_Mom?"_

_Her hair is dusty brown, laying over one shoulder, falling just past her chest. She's looking around interestedly. "This seems a pleasant enough place."_

_I take a step towards her – just one touch – a handshake – a hug – anything, anything to know she's really here._

_She holds up one hand, as if stopping me. "Now's not the time to get sensitive," she says, laughing a little._

"_But I miss you—"_

"_There are more important issues you've got to deal with, Miyuki."_

"_What's more important than—?"_

"_We got the bonfire started," Riku calls, walking towards me from the other side of the island. His eyes never shift to Mom, not once – I don't think he can even see her. I look back at her, and her smile's fading._

"_What will you do when you can't see him anymore?" she asks solemnly._

_My eyebrows knit. "W-What?"_

"_What will you do when he's found his path home, and you're left to find your own?"_

_I look back at where Riku was, and he's gone. I look back to where Mom was, and she's walking into the ocean._

"_What're you talking about?"_

_She waves her hand back at me without looking back. I run towards her, the water pressing against my knees, forcing me to half-swim._

"_Please don't leave yet! Please!"_

_My feet catch on seaweed and I trip forward in the waist-deep water, scrambling to get my feet, sputtering out water. My eyes burn from the saltwater, my skin prickles with goosebumps from the freezing breeze._

I woke up in a cold sweat, my hands clenched into fists.

_What's that supposed to mean? Was that just Xehanort screwing around again?_

This was the only logical conclusion I could come to – but again, I got the feeling that my logical side was wrong. If it was Xehanort screwing around, I would be able to tell in the dream. I would've seen him.

_But… Xehanort getting sneaky makes more sense than my Mom telling me I'm not going to see Riku anymore…_

I stumbled out of my room, rubbing the crust out of my eyes, very chilly as I walked down the steps. The scent of eggs and bacon filled my lungs. My stomach twisted uncomfortably. Eggs and bacon. _Again_.

_Well, it's better than starving. And DiZ seems especially fond of them… So I'll just keep my trap shut for now._

Riku and Naminé were sitting at the table, him facing the door, her with her back to it. DiZ was at the stove, as usual. Seeing as how he was enshrouded in the black cloak with the hood up, the only thing I saw was the hood move to face me as the voice from it's shadows spoke.

"Good morn… ing…" The hood turned back down to the table and he snorted as I walked over and sat down next to him.

"Oh, ah, Miyuki…" Naminé said, face bright red, stuttering for words.

"Yeah?" I arched an eyebrow at her.

"…Did you forget something?" Riku said amusedly.

I stared at him blankly a moment before realization dawned on me. I looked down at my bare legs and jumped up in surprise. I was pantless. "Th-That would explain the breeze," I stammered, before scrambling out to the foyer, slamming the kitchen door behind me.

After getting dressed into normal clothes – ripped-up green cargo pants, red hoodie, grey tank top, converse – and after wolfing down the eggs and bacon quickly enough that I didn't have to think about the repetition of it, the four of us went about business as usual. Riku, DiZ and I headed back down to the computer room as Naminé washed dishes. Riku stepped onto the pad first – and the minute DiZ had reassmbled him into the virtual town, the man turned to me in his computer chair, a scrutinizing yet serene eye falling on mine.

"I presume things have been patched up between you?"

"Yeah. We're good now." I smiled a little. "Thank you."

"I did nothing."

"You gave me a wake-up call."

"You're getting sentimental over a statement of facts."

"You're getting embarrassed," I said, stepping onto the pad and shooting him an amused look. "…I think you should take a break while Riku and I handle things," I said.

"We cannot afford to be inattentive any longer. Be cautious," he said in a tone that meant 'good-bye', and I was immaterialized from the computer room, rematerializing in tram common. My eyes fell on a black-clad figure, arms crossed, leaning against the wall. I walked over and mimicked his position. He was staring at the window of the building ahead of us intently.

"What do you think?"

I shot him a sideways look before staring at the window with him. "Well, Batman, it appears to be a large piece of glass in the middle of a tall stack of bricks."

"Is it _really_? What _would_ I do without your skills of observation?"

"You'd die." I shrugged.

He snorted. "The nonchalance in that sentence is unsettling."

"Don't be a wuss. –Are you gonna flip down that freaking hood, or what?"

"No. Why?"

"I like to be able to see your face." He exhaled, but was otherwise silent. "Mostly because I'd like to see the expressions on it at moments like these…"

"Was that your Mom?"

My head snapped towards him. "What?"

"In my dream last night, we were on the islands again. You were standing in the water with a woman with long hair…"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "That was Mom. …I thought you couldn't see her."

"She walked into the ocean and you ran after her… You tripped, and I went out to help you up, but a current pulled me under…"

A chill ran up my spine. "And I was too preoccupied to notice," I snorted bitterly. _Is that what she meant by "when you can't see him anymore"…?_

"He's awake," Riku said, suddenly standing upright and grabbing my arm firmly. We reassembled on the other side of a shop, in the places the morning sunlight hadn't reached yet. I felt awkward as we watched him exit the building, heading up towards us. Riku stepped back carefully, pulling me back against the wall with him, tucking us into the shadows. Another chill rushed through me and I shuddered.

_I'm so cold… I wonder if it's just the atmosphere. Fall's coming on, and I wouldn't be surprised if it's getting chillier…_

"You okay?" Riku asked so quietly, it took me a moment to understand what he said.

"Chilly." I zipped up my hoodie, and we were standing in the Sandlot. "No egotistical teenagers brawling?" I raised my eyebrows at the empty arena.

"You're one to talk," Riku snorted.

"No, _I'm_ conceited. There's a difference."

"And it would be…?"

"If you're conceited, your pride can't be hurt, because in your mind, you're perfect. If you're egotistical, your life revolves around your ego and reputation."

He shook his head slowly at me in either astonishment or amusement at this description – I caught a glimpse of the bright teal in the shade of the hood, and smiled. _I would _so_ prefer that hood be down…_ We walked briskly to the steps leading up to the usual spot, and he paused in the shadows to look back at Roxas. He was approaching quickly – Riku reassembled us to the corner of the alley at the top of the steps, right in front of the usual spot.

I heard something moving up ahead, a soft _whoosh_ echoing across the alley. I stepped forward, poking my head around the corner. A pair of pure white hands, the fingers wrapped in grey straps, snatched my shoulders and yanked me forward. I gripped the neck of the Nobody – the Dusk – and jammed my knee into its gut. _Blizzard._ An icicle blasted through its neck and into the torso of the one behind it. As a third Dusk struck me across the arm as the first stumbled backwards. I turned on my heel and swung my foot across its face – the second Dusk reached up and shoved my leg, launching itself off of it and up over my head, obviously heading for Roxas. I gripped it by its leg, leaning back into the alley. _Firaga!_

A ring of fire spun around me and the Dusks vanished as a black figure rounded the corner. Before I could look back to see where Roxas was, Riku had sidled up behind me.

"Walk," he whispered, tapping his right toe against my right heel.

I silently obeyed, stepping up the alley in time with Riku, who was close behind me, his breath hitting the back of my neck. I heard faint voices behind us – "What took you so long, Roxas?" "Sorry, guys." "Here, have some ice cream…" – and Riku stopped. I took a step or two forward before turning to him.

"What was that all about?" I asked quietly.

"Roxas hit me in the head with a stick."

I snorted. "_What_?"

"He threw a stick and it hit me in the head. Then he looked over and saw me."

I glared at him. "Smooth. So what'd you do?"

"Walked away. I didn't want him to see you before he went into the usual spot. It's a good thing I'm tall, it made it easy to hide you."

"What if he _did_ see me, and you just made it look _really_ awkward?" I arched an eyebrow at him, smiling.

Even concealed by the hood, I knew he was shooting me a look. "He _didn't_ see you," he said.

"You hope," I smirked. "Shouldn't we be listening in on what's happening?" I walked down towards the entrance to the usual spot.

"Well if someone would shut their big mouth for once…" he replied.

"Have you forgotten my eavesdropping skills, o ye of little faith?" I arched an eyebrow at him.

"Nothing about you is particularly forgettable." I narrowed my eyes at him, curious as to whether this was an insult or compliment – but before I could respond, he murmured, "Shh." I stuck my tongue out at him as we fell silent, side-by-side at the door.

There was nothing but boring dialogue about the end of summer coming from inside, and I spaced out as we stood there, waiting for something to happen.

"_What will you do when you can't see him anymore?"_

_That's a stupid question. If I can't see you…_ I snuck a look at Riku. _I'll just find you again. I've done it once, right? I can do it again._

"_What will you do when he's found his path home, and you're left to find your own?"_

…_He wouldn't leave me, would he? If he did, he'd have a good reason. He wouldn't ditch me just to get hom more easily. He's got a conscience, unlike certain beings…_

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly.

"Ah… Nothing," I said. _It's true. Nothing's wrong – not yet, anyway – and I'm not going to look for trouble._

"So _what's wrong_?" he repeated, resting a hand on my back. It was a little uncomfortable, trying to focus on his eyes when they were hidden so well in the shade of the hood.

"I really wish I hadn't walked into the kitchen without pants," I said, snorting embarrassedly.

He snorted. "Yeah. That was just _so_ terrible."

I rolled my eyes and focused back on the usual spot's door. "Oh, shut up!"

"What reaction did you _expect_?" he scoffed lightheartedly. "Or have you forgotten yesterday evening, o ye of impaired judgement?" I slammed my elbow into his side and he exhaled sharply. "And that was for…?"

"For being a cocky idiot!" I glared at him, but a smile was tugging at the corners of my mouth as my face went red, and I knew he could see it. I didn't want to turn it into a joke, but at the same time, something that'd been so personal between us was hard not to think about – we were bound to bring it up at some point.

"Get over yourself," he said, still lighthearted, and pressed me against the wall by my shoulder. For a brief moment, my mind raced through the scenario of being pressed against a wall with something other than Roxas' safety in mind. However, this scenario did not last long, as Riku leaned past me, listening to the conversation inside. "The beach, huh? Better ask DiZ about this."

He set off at a quick walk down the alley, and I followed close behind, a little miffed at myself for not having better control of my head.

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**I know I'm taking forever to post chapters, and I'm sorry! Especially because you guys keep posting really sweet reviews. Thank you so much for sticking with me, even though I'm a lazy bum!**


	33. Chapter 33 Deer Caught in Headlights

I set my back against Riku's, tilting my head towards the phone pressed against his ear, trying desperately to hear DiZ's voice through the static erupting from the receiver. A brief moment of gargle passed before Riku exhaled sharply, setting the phone back on the receiver.

"What's the Chief say, Batman?" I asked.

"He doesn't want them going to the beach."

I rested my head on the back of his. "So why'd you huff?"

"It's nothing." He walked forward and I spun around, jumping to his side and matching his pace up the alley.

"Mhm. Let's pretend I believe that, for an ignorant moment – how exactly do you intend to keep them from going?"

"DiZ wants us to take their munny."

"You're going to _steal_?" I said in mock-horror.

He snorted. "_We're_ going to steal. Besides, all the things I've done, and you're shocked by theft? Your judgement must _really_ be impaired."

"Isn't that what you want? You flash your six-pack enough," I scoffed.

His head turned towards me, and though his expression was hidden, I knew teal eyes were sizing me up with a smirk. "Nice to know it works." I rolled my eyes. "And it's an eight-pack."

I shot him a look. "I hadn't noticed," I said impassively.

He snorted. "Liar."

I dug an elbow into his side. "Cocky jerk."

"Shh." He held up one hand as we approached the station plaza, the brunette girl's voice echoing across it.

"Ta-da! Take a look!" She held up a small orange pouch, her voice lowering. The only thing I could decipher as she handed it to Roxas was "…Five thousand munny… Don't let Hayner get his hands on it!"

I took my gaze from the group of teens, focusing on Riku beside me as we stood in the shadows. "Figures, they give it to the one kid that can see us."

"Kid? He's only a year younger than us."

"Whatever. So you distract him and I'll pickpocket him?"

"Fair enough." He held up the stick that'd grazed his head. _Wait. You've been carrying that around?_ As the teens ran towards the doors, he gripped my hand in his, stepped in front of me and chucked the stick at Roxas' feet. We now stood in the middle of the station plaza, Roxas on the ground.

"Ow… What the…? A stick?" He grabbed the stick with one hand, rubbing his neck with the other.

Riku unwrapped his hand to hook it around Roxas' arm, tugging him to his feet in such a way that his back was to me.

"Can you feel Sora?" Riku said quietly.

Those words provoked a concerned thought in the back of my mind, but I was too concerned with carefully sliding the munny pouch out of Roxas' shirt pocket without him noticing. I almost had it, when Roxas spoke.

"Huh?"

It registered that he was talking to Riku, not me, and I yanked the munny pouch into my hands, stepping away so that I was still out of his sight.

"Heeey! Roxas, you all right?"

I snapped my head around at the three of them – I was in the line of sight between Roxas and his friends. _Damn it._ A hand hooked around my arm, yanking me to the right – and I was now standing in the shadows of the alley once more.

"Please tell me you got the munny," he said.

"Yeah." I held up the little orange bag.

"Good."

"So are you gonna carry—"

"What the hell were you thinking?"

My eyes widened at him. "Excuse me?"

"Standing there like a deer caught in headlights! Are you an idiot? The only one that can see you is Roxas, and you had every opportunity to run to this alley without being seen by him."

I wavered. "Do you have pockets in that costume of yours, or do I need to carry this?" I snapped.

He rolled his eyes dramatically – the only way I knew this was by his hood moving – and snatched the pouch from my hand. "If you're going to act stupid, you need to stay home."

"What's got you so edgy?" I asked quietly.

He was silent a moment. "Nothing. I'm the one being stupid."

"It's something if it's making you bite my head off." He started to speak, but I interrupted him. "Yeah, I know, I should've been quicker on the draw. I won't let it happen again. But you need to say what you're thinking, or we're both idiots who can't hold it together for two seconds."

"I'm holding it together _fine_."

"Nice try."

"I don't… It's nothing. I'm overreacting."

"To _what_?"

He crossed his arms. "…DiZ keeps reminding me not to get close to 'it' – Roxas. As if it's possible to keep myself from feeling attached to the other half – the _conscious_ half – of my best friend." He paused. "And what's wrong with getting attached? He's the same person, right? Just a different hair-do and an 'x' thrown into his name." I had no response to any of this. "…I wish he would've answered my question, because I really wonder if he can feel Sora. Wouldn't you feel your other beginning to awaken, heart or none? Unless, of course, Naminé's lying about her progress…"

"Unlikely," I said quietly.

"I know." He nodded. "Even if your heart was in someone else, wouldn't you feel…?" He trailed off, but the question was complete already.

"Yeah," I said quietly. "You _would_ feel. His heart isn't inside him, but he's still attached to it, and it's still beating." I swallowed.

Riku slid his hand between the hood and his head, rubbing the back of his neck. "…I _hate_…" He stopped himself and looked up at the station tower. "They're having ice cream. If the Organization was going to make a move, they'd have made it by now. Let's head back."

We walked down the alley, no doubt towards the payphone to tell DiZ we were ready to leave. other is still alive. His heart is still mind was racing for something comforting to say, but nothing came. My noggin was silent, and before I realized it, we were standing in the computer room, Riku and DiZ talking.

"I'm going to get cleaned up," I said, heading up the stairs.

It would seem I was being ignored, because right after I spoke, Riku said, in a less casual tone, "I know you didn't want him leaving Twilight Town, but was this really necessary?"

"Get rid of that bag," DiZ said dismissively.

"What is Organization XIII's status?"

"All is quiet. They're probably waiting for us to make a move. Whatever they may be doing, we need Naminé to make haste."

I continued up the stairs. The bookcase was still wedged open, and I paused as Riku stepped up onto the floor of the library.

"How'd that happen, anyway?" I pointed at it.

He paused, staring at it a moment. "Er… Dunno," he said, walking towards the foyer.

I followed, eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Liar."

"Does it matter?" he sighed, pulling off his black gloves as we entered the kitchen. "I thought you were going to get cleaned up."

I turned on the faucet and splashed my hands beneath the water for a moment before shutting it off and turning to him. "There. All clean. Did _you_ break the door?" I smiled at him, fairly entertained as I leaned against the counter.

He laid his gloves on the counter, pulling a glass out of the cupboard. "Yes. Move, please." I scooched down to the far end of the counter so that he could reach the sink.

"On purpose?" I arched an amused eyebrow at him.

"Yes. I frequently kill time by destroying intricate passageway technology," he said.

"Why'd you break the door?" I asked.

"I was pissed off," he said, leaning against the counter, taking a sip of his water. I shrugged my hoodie off of my shoulders and tossed it onto the chair on the other side of the kitchen. "I didn't want you to leave, but I knew you had to do what was best."

My smile was gone, now. "So you beat the shit out of a door?"

"DiZ called for me and since the door was moving slowly, I shoved it open."

"It always moves slowly."

"I know."

"You're violent when you're mad."

"I know."

"Let me see your face, will you?"

"Yes, ma'am," he grumbled, shoving the hood back. His expression was dark, his aquamarine eyes focused on his glass as he took a sip and set it down on the counter.

"You've got to get a grip," I said.

He shot me a look before hanging his head and shutting his eyes, his hair a mass of pale silver. "Why? I love fucking things up," he said sarcastically.

"We've been over this, Riku, you're—"

"I know what I am. I know why. I know what I'm going to do." He raised his head, focusing on the door, his hands folded in his arms. "It doesn't change…" He trailed off again.

"Doesn't change what?" I asked, shifting closer to him.

He brought his eyes up to mine, exhaling. "How jacked up I feel," he muttered, almost unwillingly.

I wanted to say something reassuring, but what? Every comforting phrase I pieced together wasn't true, and he'd just scoff at the attempt.

"Sorry," he said, turning to grab his glass of water. "You don't have to say anything."

_But I do. I have to let you know I care…_ "I wish things were different," I said quietly. He was facing the counter now, his eyes focused intently on his glass, and I pushed myself up so that I was sitting on the counter, my hands in fists in my lap. "If we'd have met on the islands… Maybe, like, in the ice cream parlor."

"Or at school?" he said, a small smile playing on the edges of his mouth as he fingered the glass.

"Nah, I homeschooled." I paused, then laughed a little. "So what're you gonna tell the teachers when we get back?" I deepened my voice dramatically, mocking his tone. "'Well, you see, sir, I had to save the world with my friends. I was possessed by a creepy dude with a bad haircut, I met the awesomest girl I've ever seen, and I threatened to rip the arms off of any man that comes near her.'"

He snorted and finally looked back at me with a smirk. "Funny how half of that sentence was about _you_."

"Was it?" I said with mock-innocence.

He turned again to lean against the counter. "…I really don't know what I'll do. I don't know if anyone there even remembers me… Kairi probably does, but everyone else…"

I raised my hand awkwardly. "I remember you."

"Well, yeah, you know _I'm_ the one who put you through hell."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, _yeah_," I said sarcastically. "That's the _only_ thing I'll remember about you."

He looked a little more interested now, shifting towards me a bit. "Oh? What _will_ you remember?"

I shook my head. "I'll remember that you're cocky, shameless, and have nice hair."

"And an eight-pack."

"You _do_?"

"Ha, you're funny," he said humorlessly.

"Aw, and I wasn't even trying," I said. "Your turn. What will you remember about _me_, Mr. Eight-Pack?" He deliberated for a long moment, resting his hands on the counter behind him, staring down at his feet. I snorted. "It's taking you long en—!"

"You're the only person I ever _really_ wanted to impress." I was pretty well composed until he looked over at me, and my face burned. "When I made you go red like that, I was really glad." He looked almost guilty.

"What's with the face?" I scoffed. "Quit acting like it's a crime. That's one of the greatest things anyone's ever said to me."

"Yeah? …Guess you won't forget me, then, huh?"

I rolled my eyes, staring at the wall with an exasperated expression. "No, Riku, I will not forget you," I said, as if it was an exhausting promise to make.

He stepped towards me and his voice was low, but loud – he had leaned his mouth towards my ear. "Good. Don't know what I'd do with myself if you did." The hairs on the back of my neck prickled, and I turned my head to see his face hovering inches from mine. I was once more at a loss for words. _Did he _really_ just say that?_

"P-Proximity," I mumbled, all composure flying out the window.

He smiled and tucked his lips against mine, slipping a hand around the base of my neck. His skin was warm against mine, and somewhere in the scrambled mess of my mind, I wondered at how fast the conversation had changed.

_I hope I'm helping you forget… I hope I'm helping you see that not everything's horrible…_

_

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_

**You are all wonderful. Just sayin'.**


	34. Chapter 34 Towels and Energy Bars

**Guess who's back in town? ^-^**

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"Hey, Naminé," I said, poking my head into her doorway. "Did you take off with my towel?"

She stared at me confusedly as she sat at the far end of her table. "What?"

"My towel. I can't find it."

"I don't _think_ I washed it today… I could be wrong, though…"

"Right." I sighed. _What did I do with it?_ "I'll leave you to it, then." I smiled and started to walk away, but stopped when she spoke again.

"Miyuki, do you—?"

I walked back in. "Do I what?"

She looked like she was struggling for words. "Ah… Well…" She stared at the drawing in front of her. "People are people, right?"

I nodded. "People are people."

"Even if they weren't meant to exist…"

I crossed my arms. _Enough bullshit._ "Who said you weren't meant to exist, Naminé?"

"What? It's just a fact. I'm not—"

"If you weren't _meant_ to be here, you _wouldn't_ be," I said.

She wavered. "You think so?" she said quietly.

"I know so."

She smiled a little. "Thanks, Miyuki. That answers my question."

"Sure."

I walked back to my room, made my bed, then started searching for my towel. I soon discovered that it was not in the bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, or library. I then snuck down the stairs to the computer room, trying not to be noticed by DiZ. The likelihood that my towel was down here was little to none, but I had nowhere else to look except Riku's room, and it would be awkward if I looked in his room and the towel ended up being down here, especially considering it was late and he was probably asleep.

_Actually, considering the towel is _nowhere_ it should be, I have a feeling it's going to be awkward no matter _where_ I find it now._

I peeked around the corner at the bottom of the stairs, scanning the dimly lit room for a lump of cloth. Nothing. Then again, DiZ was sitting at such an angle that his cape hid half the room from sight…

I crept forward, trying to peek around him.

"What are you doing, Miyuki?"

The sudden outburst of words made my heart leap into my mouth, and I took a deep breath.

"I think I left my towel down here."

"Your towel?"

"Yes."

"Why do you sound guilty?"

"Guilty?" I arched an eyebrow. "I do?"

"Never mind. I don't want to know."

"What? Hey! It's not like I run around in a towel all the time!"

"Your towel is not down here, Miyuki."

"I didn't mean it like…" I caught a glimpse of the screen – it looked like Dusks were scrambling around madly inside the computer. "What're you doing?" I rested a hand on the back of his chair, hovering over his shoulder.

"The Organization is getting closer and closer. The Dusks are increasing in number – one slip could mean losing Roxas."

_Something tells me Roxas wouldn't let himself get lost that easily…_ "Oh. What do we need to do?"

"The phrase 'constant vigilance' comes to mind."

I nodded. "Sounds good."

"Words to live by."

"Yes, sir!" I saluted him.

"Stop mocking me."

"Right." I stuck my hands in my pockets. "If you need me, just fire up the bat-signal."

I walked back up the stairs, to my bedroom door, and froze when my hand rested on the handle.

_Why do I feel like something's wrong?_

I swung the door open and thrust my hand forward. "_Blizzara_!"

I heard a soft _whoosh_ and flipped the light on, not expecting what I saw.

Nothing.

Nothing abnormal was in my room right now – which was a problem, considering I'd just cast a spell that was supposed to freeze something in place.

_So where's the ice?_

I looked around for something, anything that was out of place. But it was all normal – the floor was dusty, the dresser was half-open, the bathroom was untouched, and my bed was a wreck. This would've been fine, had I not made my bed not a half hour ago.

I took a deep breath. _I do not need to freak out._ I walked over to Naminé's room and stuck my head in. "Have you been in my room since we last spoke?" I asked politely, evenly.

"No. Why?"

"Oh… Never mind."

I walked over to Riku's door and knocked. "Batman, we have a situation," I said. I heard slight shuffling, then nothing. "Riku? C'mon, get up," I said loudly, banging my fist against the middle of the door. "Wakey wakey, hooded avenger!" I paused. Still nothing. Concerning. I swung the door open and flipped on the light. "Are you _dead_, or what?" I said, trying to keep my voice even. A pillow hit me in the face and I chucked it across the room.

"Am I allowed to sleep, or is DiZ having fun with psychological experiments now?" the mass of pillows and blankets mumbled at me.

"I'm going to experiment you upside the head!" I walked over and pulled away a pillow – an arm was beneath it. That would do. "Wake up and be a superhero, would you? Why would blizzara disappear into thin air?" I grabbed his arm and tugged him towards the edge of the bed.

"Because someone cast fire on it?" The lump now rested on the very edge of the bed.

"No, it didn't turn into water."

"Maybe it evaporated."

"Not enough time."

"Depends how hot the fire was." The lump wobbled, teetering on the edge of the mattress.

"There was no change in temperature!" I said.

"Then someone chucked it into the dark cor—" Everything on the bed toppled onto the floor at my feet. From the pillows emerged a hand, which moved a pillow, and Riku stared at me worriedly. "What's this about, Miyuki?"

"Someone was in my room. So as I walked in, I cast blizzara. When I went in, no one was there, and neither was the ice. Plus, my bed was a mess."

"So?"

"So, my bed wasn't a mess when I left."

"Someone _slept_ in your _bed_?"

"Who knows, but _I'm_ not sleeping in it tonight."

"No, you're not." He held up a hand and I tugged him to his feet.

"Do you _own_ a shirt?" I asked upon seeing him once more in nothing but sweatpants.

"I didn't expect to have to investigate your room tonight, okay?" he replied, walking into the hall ahead of me.

I snorted. "Nice plumber shot," I said, crossing my arms. "Pull up your pants."

"Make me," he retorted, walking to the middle of my room and studying the floor.

"It's not like I'm lying and it just melted," I snapped.

He shot me a look. "_Calm down_."

I crossed my arms. "Sorry."

He looked around and rubbed the back of his neck. "Shit," he whispered, shutting his eyes.

"Was this the Organization?" I asked.

"Considering they'd have to transport that ice somewhere else… Probably," he sighed, walking back into the hall and into Naminé's room.

"What, do they think I'm going to lead them to Roxas?" I asked. "If they can get into the mansion, why didn't they get her?"

"What?" she asked, staring at us in bewilderment.

"I don't know," Riku said. "Maybe they didn't figure out where they were before you showed up." He hooked a finger around one of the belt loops on my pants, then took Naminé's hand and tugged her to her feet. We were now standing in the computer room, and DiZ was turning around in his chair to glare at us.

"I am _rather_ preoccupied at the moment, so if you will _kindly_—"

"Organization XIII was in my room," I said.

"_What_?"

"Well, er, not necessarily the whole Organization – maybe one or two – anyway, they were there. And they messed up my bed."

"Unacceptable."

"I find messed up beds unacceptable as well," I said, oddly amused with myself.

"Naminé, I need you to stay in the pod room." DiZ smashed a button on the keypad and the wall split open, pouring bright white light against our backs. Naminé turned and exited the computer room. "We are walking a fine line," he continued. "One we cannot afford to cross. If the Organization has, in fact, found their way into your room, Miyuki, it'd be prudent for you to stay there."

"Say what?" I glared at him.

"If they return, you have a prime opportunity to listen in and discover their intent. I know you're fond of eavesdropping."

"Can't you just hook up some security cameras or something?" I protested.

"Secuirty cameras are powerless and useless if destroyed."

"So what, I'm useful when destroyed?" I snorted.

"You _won't_ be 'destroyed'," Riku said quietly. I stared at him surprisedly a moment.

"Cameras would be easily disposed of and we'd be left with nothing, whereas having you listen in _guarantees_ information," DiZ said.

"I just want to make sure you're not risking my neck for no good reason."

"I'm not forcing your hand, Miyuki. If you want to stay somewhere you have an illusion of safety, you're more than welcome to. However, you said you wanted to assist us, and—"

"Stop trying to manipulate me," I said. "I'll keep an eye out for them, but I'm bound to drift off if I'm alone."

"I was going to suggest Riku use his darkness to hide you in the corner."

"Can't the Organization see past that?" Riku piped up again.

"Not unless they're specifically looking for it."

"You think we can keep each other awake all night?" I arched an eyebrow at him.

"I think we can figure something out," he mumbled.

"Then we're off. If you find a puddle of blood in the morning, just remember that you weren't forcing my hand, DiZ," I said, walking up the stairs.

"Dramatic, much?" Riku asked, his voice still low with sleep as we exited the library.

"He was being patronizing," I retorted.

"You going to be this touchy all night?"

"Not unless you're trying to control me," I scoffed. "Besides, give me a break. I'm disturbed by the fact that my room, out of all of the rooms in this giant mansion, has been violated. My floor has some weirdo's fooprints on it. My sheets are dirty with someone else's germs."

"A Nobody else's germs," he remarked.

"It's still disturbing. What the hell were they _doing_?"

"You really want to know?"

"No, actually."

"Then stop asking."

I shot him a look. "You going to be this touchy all night?"

"You woke me up, called me Batman, positioned me in such a way that I fell off my bed—"

"Do you have any idea how awkward you sound right now?"

"—and you expect me to sound cheery?"

"Most people who say awkward things like that are rather pleased with themselves."

"You're not listening."

"We're both tired."

"Yes, we are. But we have to stay awake. Wait—Why are we walking, again?" He grabbed my hand and we stood in the kitchen. He let go of me, digging through the fridge. "Energy bars. Here." He shoved a handful of chocolate-flavored granola bars into my hands, grabbed another wad of them in one arm, then laid a hand on my shoulder. We now stood in my pitch-black room, and though I heard shuffling beside me, I had no sense of direction or balance. I stood stock-still, trying to hold all the energy bars in my arms.

"You gonna sit down?" he whispered.

"Where?"

"Against the wall…?"

"Which wall?"

"The one right behind you…? Just sit down where you're standing."

"Okay then." I sat down and rolled my neck. "So is this lack of vision due to your skills with darkness, or just the fact that I have my light off?"

"Lower your voice," he hissed.

"Fine," I whispered back.

"Yes, we're behind a wall of darkness already. They shouldn't notice us – that is, if you're really behind it."

"Huh?"

"Scoot to your left."

"But aren't _you_ sitting on my left?"

"I'm moving over, too."

_Yeah, right._ I swung my elbow out to my left, making sure I had room.

"Really, Miyuki? Really?" he said incredulously.

"Untrustworthy bum," I muttered, scooting to my left.

"You're just intimidated by my mysterious ways."

"Oh yes, Batman, I'm just _so_ beneath you." I sighed and munched on an energy bar. "You really think they're gonna show up again tonight?"

"Not really."

"Then what the hell was _DiZ_ thinking?"

"I bet he was trying to matchmake."

My eyebrows knit. "I know DiZ is controlling, but _really_, match—?"

"It was a joke."

"Right." I took another big bite of energy bar.

"I was going to use it to lead up to something suggestive and make you blush – again – but it would appear as though the moment's passed."

"…Right," I said around my mouthful.

I heard him shift. "I need to wake up," he mumbled.

"I could pinch you," I said.

"You're blind as a bat, Miyuki. You'd end up stabbing your eye out."

"Why _my_ eye?"

"Because I would move."

"Not if you can't see!"

"I'm Batman, remember? I can see in the dark."

I wavered. "Are you just joking around, or can you seriously—"

"You don't live in darkness for over a year without learning how to see in it," he said quietly.

I swallowed. _I am now fairly uncomfortable._ "Eat an energy bar, Riku," I said.

"Make me."

_It just keeps getting more uncomfortable._ "Are you saying you got all these—?" His hand covered my mouth and my hands snapped up to it, and just as I was about to pry it off, I heard someone's voice come from the middle of the room.

* * *

**Cliffhanger, I know, and I won't be updating for a few days, but! I just wanted to say thank you for even getting to this point. It really means a lot to me! ^-^**


	35. Chapter 35 Definition of Hell

"Let's try this again," said a masculine voice.

"Look," Orlando's voice piped up, "I don't remember _anything_ about the mansion. You know what's beyond that door as well as I do."

"That's a bathroom," the first voice said dully.

"Are you hitting on me?"

"As if!" the first voice snapped, and Orlando squeaked an "ow". My brain could not comprehend what was happening. "You want to earn your place in the Organization?"

"…Yeah."

"Then shut up take me to the impostor! There's no way you're getting in if we don't get rid of him."

"What if he's not here anymore, huh? I already _told_ you, that was just when _I_ was here! He could be on another planet, for all I know! What, then?"

"We'll probably off you."

"_What_? No way! It's not like I control what that freak does!"

"Stop whining and find him, if you're so afraid of us!"

"I'm not afraid of you."

The masculine voice laughed. "Whatever you say. Just get to it, will ya? Things are gettin' slow around here."

Footsteps clacked towards the bedroom door.

_So Orlando was taken by the Organization? And he said Riku was here, and this guy is trying to get rid of him. But we can't let them into the hall. We can't let them discover the rest of the mansion. That's too much. _Damn_ you, Orlando!_

I pulled Riku's hand off my mouth, ready to stand up, but he gripped my shoulder and held me down, hissing in my ear.

"_Trust me_."

My eyes searched the blackness for some sign of him, but my only evidence that he was still near me was his hand on my shoulder. _With Orlando involved? That's a difficult request._

"W-Whoa!" Orlando stammered.

"Annoying piece of—" the first voice grumbled, and I heard a familiar sound – it reminded me of Cid, but I couldn't quite think of why. "Dang it! They just keep coming!"

"H-Hey! No!" Orlando squawked.

"What? Oh, you useless kid! Move!"

_CRASH_.

I jumped at the sudden racket, and heard Riku snort with what I perceived as amusement while Orlando and the first voice fussed.

"That's _it_!" the man yelled. "You're full of it, aren't you, kid?"

"What? You think _I_ did this? I almost got pulverized by some heartless, and you—" _Pulverized by heartless? What did Riku _do_?_

"Shut up!"

There was a thud, and some shuffling, and I heard the dark corridor open and shut. The cloak of darkness lifted, and Riku went to turn on the lights.

"What did you do?" I asked quietly, standing up, energy bars tumbling from my lap.

"I put heartless in the way of the hall, so that he didn't see anything but them. Then I had one latch onto Orlando's leg so that he'd be even more distracted."

"Who'd be more distracted, Orlando?"

"No, the guy from the Organization."

"Right." I crossed my arms.

He stared at me a minute before speaking. "Look. If they mapped out this mansion, we would be so screwed we wouldn't be able to see straight."

"They have Orlando – I could've gotten him – we could've driven that guy away without having to send Orlando back too."

"No, we couldn't. The way that guy fights, everything would've been destroyed – including Orlando."

"They're going to kill him unless we do something," I said, my voice raising.

"What do you propose we do? Track down where exactly they're keeping him, go in, jack up the whole operation?"

"So you just want to let him die?"

"Yeah, that sounds like so much fun!" he said sarcastically, then paused. His voice was lower when he spoke. "There's nothing we can do."

"Are you so sure? If _I_ went in there, I could—"

"You don't know where 'there'_ is_," he said. "We can't help him."

"No, but we _could_ have."

We stared at each other for a long moment before his eyes fell to the floor.

_He's so sweet, he never did anything to hurt anyone – except for when he was a, er, heartless – and now he's been interrogated by the Organization. Since every time they come here it's a disaster, he's going to be killed…_

"How am I supposed to just… not care?" I said quietly. Riku was silent.

Going to bed with a bad feeling wasn't by any means pleasant, but waking up with one was twenty times worse. I woke up several times the night before, and realized it had to be at least ten a.m. by the time I felt rested enough to function.

"Shit," I muttered, scrambling out of the pajamas and into my normal clothes. I felt like I needed to be with someone, and I wasn't keen on that feeling. I knew breakfast was either cold or they didn't leave any for me, so I just grabbed one of the energy bars we were too lazy to put back in the kitchen. I was halfway finished with it by the time I reached the computer room, where DiZ was yelling at Riku, who was stepping onto the platform.

"—_stop this foolishness_!" he bellowed, and Riku immaterialized.

"What foolishness?" I asked, stuffing the energy bar in my pocket.

"_Go with him_!" was the only reply I got.

"Fine!" I said, stepping onto the platform and being transported, myself. If I wasn't awake before I came in, I certainly was now, thanks to the stress radiating from DiZ.

We now stood in the middle of the foyer – that is, the virtual mansion.

"What's happening?" I asked Riku, whose hood was annoyingly pulled up once more.

"Naminé."

_Holy sh—_"They _didn't_?"

"No. She's trying to talk to Roxas."

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked.

"Let's just please DiZ for now, alright?" He walked towards the library and I followed, growing more and more curious as to how exactly this was happening as we walked down into the virtual computer room. I sighed as he opened the door to the room with all the pods – but it was empty. No pods. No Sora. Just Naminé on the other side, sitting on some kind of platform, Roxas' back to us.

"Roxas, do you remember your true name?"

"My… true name…?"

"You're—eek!"

Riku had appeared at her side, tugging her to her feet by her arm, his voice cold. "Say no more, Naminé." I walked forward as quietly as I could.

"But if no one tells him, Roxas will—"

"Don't overstep your bounds."

"Hey! You're that _pickpocket_! You stole our munny!" Roxas shouted, pointing at Riku.

Riku stepped down, opened a dark corridor, grabbed Roxas by the back of the shirt and tossed him in. He threw me a look and pointed into it. "Can you get him to the other side?"

"Alright." I jogged inside just as it started to close – the rush of cold air seemed to wake me up more, and the sight of Roxas stirring even more. He was sprawled across the multi-colored floor, face down, struggling to get up.

"_What_ is _happening_ here?" he growled.

I gripped his arm and tugged him to his feet, trying to stay in such a position that he didn't see me. As much as I wished to, I couldn't be angry with Naminé or Roxas. I honestly was a little confused as to why her talking to him was a bad thing – except that awakening more memories would delay the process of putting them back into Sora? _But she would know it if that would happen. She wouldn't hinder the process… right?_

"Tell me what's happening!" Roxas tried to turn, but I gripped his hair and pushed him forward.

"Keep walking," I demanded.

"_No_!" He kicked my shin and struggled to turn around, but I twisted my hand in his hair and shoved his head down towards his chest.

"Do you _want_ me to hurt you?"

"What I _want_ is answers!" He reached up and gripped the wrist entwined in his hair. I kneed him in the back and he turned to elbow me in the side of the head – he couldn't reach. He tore my wrist from his head and turned to face me now, his right hand around my right wrist, my left fingernails digging into his left arm. "What did she mean by 'my true name'?"

I shook my head. "Please don't make me hurt you," I mumbled.

"_I have to know_!" he screamed, cutting off circulation to my hands.

_Fine, then._ I wrapped my right hand around his right hand, tugging him towards me and headbutting him. Dizzy, but determined, I clawed my fignernails down his left arm, slamming my knee into his groin. His grip loosened and he pulled back his right hand to punch me. I slammed my fingers against his throat and shoved him backwards. He spat and coughed – but he was closer to the other side of the corridor – which was beginning to close.

"Get _out_ of here!" I hissed in frustration, and walked forward, shoving him back through the passageway. He wasn't resisting at all now – and he had just stumbled back to the virtual town when the corridor shut.

I looked back for the entrance to the virtual mansion. No entrance – and the colors were beginning to fade to black. My shoulders slumped.

"Well, shit."

_I'm so stupid for not being shorter with Roxas. What was I thinking? "Be nice, he's just a Nobody"? I'm an idiot! And now I have to wait for Riku to open another dark corridor before I can get out of here._

I was suddenly splashed with a bucket of intense fear.

_I _can_ get out of here when he uses the dark corridor again, right?_

That fear now turned to anger.

"I am going to _murder_ Roxas for this!" I growled, my hands clenching into fists. "If I get stuck here because he couldn't bear to be confused any longer – if I miss dinner – if I miss _lunch_ – if no one can find me again…" I cleared my throat. "No, I can't think like that. Of course someone will find me. Eventually. And until then… I guess… I'll just wait."

I sat down cross-legged and looked around. Nothing but darkness. Another chill ran up my spine and I crossed my arms.

I don't know how many minutes – hours? – had passed before I heard his voice.

"You _would_ get lost in the dark corridor."

I grit my teeth.

"Is that any way to treat an old friend?"

My eyes snapped to the only light around me – the glinting of golden eyes. I sighed.

"I'd love to chat, really, but I'm busy."

"So I see," the deep, throaty voice chuckled, the eyes drifting until they were behind me. A cold hand placed itself at the base of my neck and I shuddered. "I didn't know you liked to spend time in utter darkness."

I rolled my eyes, and they now searched for some sign of light. If I could see Xehanort's eyes, I was bound to see Riku's soon.

"You know… if you applied yourself to it… with time, you'd gain such control over darkness, you could even see your mother." No air passed through my lungs at this moment. "Here you are, in the very element she was immersed in. Alone, afraid – but nothing will hurt you here. Not if you embrace it."

"And if I don't embrace it?"

His hand trailed around to the front of my neck. His thumb stroked the bottom of my chin. "Miyuki…" he cooed.

"Yes?" I cooed back, placing my hand gently on his. He wrapped his fingers over mine, now.

"I think you—"

I pulled his hand towards me and reached for the top of his arm with my right hand. I couldn't see him, but I could guess – and I guessed correctly. I dug my fingernails into his skin, which seemed to have way too much give – I stood up quickly.

"—Miyuki," his voice was full of entertainment and condescension, "did you think it would be that easy?"

I met his ochre eyes with a glare and reached for his neck – what I grabbed was so cold it burnt, and felt like it was made of pulsating vines no thicker than my pinky. I gripped them tightly, digging my fingers into the middle of his neck, and yanked back, trying to rip them apart. They were too strong.

"Ah… Miyuki, you're _submerged_ in darkness. What did you think moving it around was going to do?" The vines twisted around my hand – I couldn't pull away.

_Fira! Firaga! Blizzaga! Thundaga!_

Nothing happened. The vines began to crawl up my arms, then onto my shoulder, up my neck, down my chest. I scrambled to pry it all off, but the vines just latched onto my other arm.

"Where the hell is Riku?" I hissed.

"A very astute observation. Refusing darkness when you're drowning in it is the very _definition_ of hell."

"Oh, screw you!" I spat, chills running up and down my back on after another, so violently that I could hardly breathe.

"If you're wondering why that child isn't here yet, I'll let you in on a little secret." The eyes drew nearer to mine, then a little past mine, and his voice was in my ear, his cold breath slipping inside it. "Time runs _much_ more slowly in darkness."

"Oh," I said, lacing my voice with quiet realization. "Well in that case…" I took a deep breath as the freezing vines found their way to my mouth and eye. "…_I still don't give a shit about having power, pervert_!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

A vine wound towards my eye, which I snapped shut – one slithered into my mouth, a taste so bitter I was nauseated – I bit down on it. It held still, but didn't break. I was biting down as hard as I could, my jaw locking up, my heart pounding in my ears as my arms were bound to my side, my legs being pulled down till I tumbled to the floor, my teeth slamming together even harder. And still, the vine did not crack.

His voice was once more in my ear. "Just say yes, and all this is yours."

* * *

**Okay, I couldn't help it, cliffhangers are too fun. Plus, I wanted to get this up soon. Thank you for all your amazing reviews! It's really awesome knowing you guys still like it even though I take so long.**


	36. Chapter 36 Rattled

"_What will you do when you can't see him anymore? What will you do when he's found his path home, and you're left to find your own?"_

I tried to tilt my head away as more vines slithered onto my face.

_I'll find my damned path._

"If you would just accept the darkness, you'd find Orlando." I clamped down on the vine so hard I thought my teeth would chip, and couldn't reply. "It's easy to find anything when you can see in darkness." _If Riku doesn't realize where I am… If he doesn't come soon…_ "I've been to the World That Never Was – I've seen the boy you want to save. I can show you how to rescue him."

A second vine began winding its way up my chin, freezing my lower lip as it wound its way up it. I pressed my lips together in a desperate attempt to keep it out, but it pushed its way in.

_I want to save Orlando – but if I give in to darkness, it's obviously stronger than me – Riku will be pissed – isn't he coming soon? Giving in is wrong, isn't it? Xehanort won't show me how to save him, he'll just use me for his own plans… But Orlando…_

I quickly snapped my teeth up then down, crunching down on the two vines as hard as I could – they crumbled in my mouth and I spat them out.

Golden eyes hovered in front of mine. "You have something to say?"

I took a deep breath. "What's _wrong _with you?" I screamed. "What _compels_ you to capture me, _every fucking time_?"

There was a pause – the ice in his distant voice seemed to melt the tiniest bit. "I've been alone… for _so_ long…"

"You've been _inside_ Riku! How can you _say_ that?" I squeaked.

A freezing hand gripped my chin, that deep bass voice ringing in my ears with hatred. "_He's not enough_!"

"Sorry to hear that," I mumbled, and twisted my head to bite his hand, but he gripped my chin harder. I could feel fingernails digging into my skin, drawing blood.

"The last time I heard, they were going to kill Orlando. It may be too late. He died, because of you."

"That doesn't mean I'm going to let you play puppet master," I snapped.

The vines were running up the back of my head, twisting in my hair, covering my ears. They crawled back up my neck and Xehanort tugged me to my feet by my chin.

"What do you think you're doing?" I scoffed._ I will not give in._

"Consuming you."

I shuddered.

The next voice I heard was low and quick and all too welcome. "I don't think so." A flash of light made my eyes ache, and the bright colors beginning to swirl around me didn't help. The vines turned to dust and I collapsed to the ground, sore all over, eyes tight shut.

"Miyuki?"

"Get me out of here."

"Can you stand?"

"Yes."

I tried to move, but my body seemed to resist my mind.

"Alright, c'mere." His hand gripped my forearm, tugging my right arm over his shoulder, wrapping the other one around my waist. I would've felt humiliated by his needing to do this, if I didn't feel so glad to be out of the dark corridor and out of Xehanort's grip.

"Are you okay?" Riku asked quietly as we stepped into sunlight.

I could feel the warmth prickling the skin of my face, and opened my eyes to see teal ones staring back from beneath his hood. "No. He said he's been to the World That Never Was. That he's seen Orlando."

Riku's eyebrows knit. "That's impossible."

"Well, he could very easily have been lying," I said. I swallowed and sat down on the edge of the roof – we were in Twilight Town, overlooking Tram Common. I crossed my arms, trying to warm myself a little more. The aching had turned to burning, but I wasn't warm at all. "Did you feel cold?" I asked, staring at my lap.

He sat down next to me. "Yeah."

I swallowed again. "How'd you get out?"

"I didn't."

"He just let you go?"

"No."

"Then how are you—"

"You're the only one who sees me as _me_, Miyuki."

"So he's still… possessing you? But then how could he have hurt me like that while you were gon—"

His voice was low and shaky. "I was there."

My eyes snapped to him and I stared at him for a long moment. "What?"

"When I stepped into the dark corridor, I had to shut the doors so that no light got through at all. When I did that, he just took over. I kept fighting to take control again, but he was in rare form." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"That's disturbing."

"I'm weak."

"You're stronger than I am. I couldn't do anything but yell at him."

"I let him manipulate me and practically molest you."

"Molest?" I scoffed. "He barely touched me."

"Those vines weren't just botanical phenomena. They were _him_."

"Alright, but just because _you_ were thinking perverted thoughts, doesn't mean _he_—"

He snorted. "Yes, it does."

I smirked. "So you admit to thinking—"

"I'm not the most self-controlled person in the world."

"Obviously." I felt a little smug, and very uncomfortable. _He was there. He was the form Xehanort took on. In a sense… _he_ was what was wrapped around me…_

"I want to say he's not going to gain control of me like that again," Riku said. "I want to say that the only place Xehanort can grab ahold of me is in the dark corridor. But I don't know."

"Get stronger," I said.

"I would if, I knew how! I've pushed myself to the brink of insanity with physical training, but it's not enough."

"So train your heart!"

"_How_?" He turned his eyes to me and we stared at each other for a long moment.

"I don't know," I said, glancing away before smiling at him weakly. "You dealt with darkness for so long… One would think you're stronger than everyone else…" A breeze twisted around us and I shivered, goose bumps prickling on my skin. I scooted myself closer to him, my arm side-by-side with his. "I have a theory," I said.

He snorted. "Okay, DiZ, what theory?"

"I'll bet that you've been training the wrong part of your heart."

He stared at me a long moment. "What exactly do you mean?"

"I mean you don't just use your right leg to walk, right? Right. You use both. So maybe you've been excersizing the right side of your heart while your left side's just sitting there like, 'Hey, man, I'm gonna watch TV and eat Doritos'."

"That… makes sense. I guess."

I nodded. "So you've got to excersize the left part of your heart."

"Yes, but _how_?"

"Well…" I stared at my lap again. "You've dealt with being lonely for a very long time. Maybe it's time to deal with being with someone. …If that makes sense." There was a long pause, and I was pretty sure my eyes were going to burn a hole in my leg when I felt warm skin meet my cheek, warm breath spill across my face. I smirked. "I see you're—"

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his breathing uneven. He pressed his lips against my cheek again. "I'm so, so sorry."

I stepped into the library, Riku at my heels, DiZ setting a glass on the desk. He turned to face me.

"I heard you were caught up in darkness."

"Yeah."

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, thanks." I smiled faintly.

"You're aware that Naminé says you encouraged her actions?" he said, folding his hands behind his back and staring at me with a collected expression on his face.

"Yeah, Riku told me," I said, thumbing to him. "What's wrong with her telling Roxas anything, anyway?"

"The process will be simple. Take memories from Roxas and return them to Sora. Informing Roxas of that process will only be torturous to him."

"Naminé doesn't seem to think so."

"Would _you_ want to know?"

"If my memories were being dismantled and I had to suffer with it blindly until someone told me what was happening? Yeah, I would."

"Even if you could do _nothing_ about it?" I wavered. "Miyuki, I _told_ you. The moment you hindered our plans in any way—"

"Do you even know what I _said_ to Naminé?" I scoffed.

"Obviously, it was enough to convince her she had every right to walk into the middle of things and dismantle it all!"

"Dismantle it all – like Roxas finding out the truth will stop you!"

"If he discovers how to come back to the real world, yes, it will be a great hindrance! I am _tired_, child, and I cannot _debate_ my views with you any longer!"

"I'm _not_ apologizing for what I said to her."

"I don't expect you to! I want you to understand that you are becoming a greater and greater risk to this entire operation. And I eliminate risks."

"DiZ!" Riku snapped, but I spoke over him.

"Oh? What, are you going to _murder_ me if I keep telling Naminé that Nobodies are people too?" I mocked.

"I will not destroy any more lives, but I will turn you out of this household if you continue to threaten everything we have worked for."

"She's not threatening—!" Riku started, but again, I spoke over him.

"I didn't come here to bicker, I came here to say I never meant for Naminé to step in and jack it all up. Even if I think you need to start treating everyone equally, I agree, it probably _is_ better Roxas doesn't know." I swallowed. "If I gave Naminé an ego boost and it went to her head, _tough_. She needed to know she's not a worthless piece of shit."

"Are you quite finished?"

"Why do you keep riding my ass about things I'm _barely_ involved in?"

"Do you _know_ how hard I've worked to reach this point?"

"So, because you're making progress in reversing everything you started, you're going to treat everyone like shit? Oh, wait – not everyone – just _me_."

His voice was a volume louder than I'd ever heard him speak. "You are going to ruin _everything_ with your constant need to rock the boat, Aoki!" His chest heaved with each breath and he stared at the floor, his hands in fists at his sides. I stared at him blankly.

"DiZ, go to bed," Riku said quietly, stepping forward and taking his arm.

"Don't be ridiculous!" DiZ spat, shoving him off.

Riku sighed and grabbed his sleeve, disappearing all at once. My eyes wandered from where they'd stood, to the desk, and the empty glass there. I walked over and picked it up, sniffing at it. _Alchohol. He must've polished off that bottle._ I sat down, staring at the glass, leaning my elbows on the desk.

"He's just drunk," Riku said, now leaning against the wall next to the desk, flipping his hood down. "There's an empty wine bottle in the kitchen."

"Who's Aoki?" I asked, looking at him.

"He won't tell me."

I looked back at the glass. "I must remind him of her."

Riku spoke quietly, staring at the floor. "Miyuki… After what happened today… Are you _sure_ you don't want to go—"

I stood up. "Don't make me hit you," I growled.

His expression was collected, steady. "I am _just_ seeing if you haven't been rattled by what's happened."

"Of course I'm rattled. I feel stupid because of what happened with Naminé. I feel weak because I couldn't take Xehanort on. And when you ask if I want to leave, it scares the shit out of me. So don't even go there."

"Got it." He paused. "What can I do?"

I shrugged, crossing my arms and looking down. "I don't know."

There was a long pause. "…How about some ice cream?"

I looked back up at him and he smiled slightly. "That sounds good," I said.


	37. Chapter 37 No 9

"Riku, what the hell do you think you're doing?" I snapped.

"Mm… Nothing." I pinched his arm and twisted the skin I had ahold of. "—Ow! I bought you that ice cream, I should be allowed!"

"You _had_ yours!" I held my ice cream as far away from him as possible, glaring at him. "Take one more bite of my ice cream, and I will have no mercy."

"Oh, yeah, I'm so afraid of you," he scoffed around the ice cream in his mouth.

"Just because you had an advantage in the dark corridor does_ not_ mean I can't cause you pain."

"Mhm." He swallowed and smirked at me. "Bring it on."

I took a bite. "Not now, I'm busy." We were walking up to the Station Plaza with our ice cream – well, I had ice cream, he just had a popsicle stick now. The hood of his jacket was flipped down, his hair falling around his face, bright teal eyes scanning the path ahead of us as the moon lit the town. _It's so weird that I'm the only one who sees him this way… _The gears in my head had been turning to a more serious note since I'd mentioned the dark corridor, and although I was really trying not to go there, I couldn't help but think about it.

_I'm supposed to see through the darkness. My heart was compensating for the darkness. Why didn't I see a way out of the dark corridor? Why didn't I—_

Riku met my gaze and smiled slightly. "Something on your mind?"

I wavered. "Yeah… The dark corridor." He looked back at the road, the smile disappearing. I tried to explain quickly. "Not that I'm mad – not at you, anyway – it's just… I thought my heart was making up for the light you don't show? I'm supposed to see through darkness – that's why I see you as _you_, not _him_…"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't think there was any light to _see_."

I stared at him a minute, slowing to a stop at the edge of the Station Plaza, just inside the alley. He stopped a few feet ahead of me before turning his back on the plaza to face me.

"Does it make sense to you?" he asked.

"Yeah, but there had to be _some_ light. Darkness couldn't have _completely_ taken you over. I still see you as you."

He shrugged. "We were sitting in darkness. Maybe light was just too far away."

I twisted my lips to one side. "But I'm supposed to see it…"

"Says who?"

My eyebrows knit at him. "What?"

"It's no big deal if you can't see in darkness. You can't always be the 'special case'."

I arched an eyebrow at him. "'Special case'?"

He crossed his arms. "So you're allowed to be a fortune cookie any time, but one phrase from me and I get mocked?"

"No, you just hang out with DiZ too much." I snorted. "'Special case'. You make me sound mental."

"Wellll…" He waved his hand indecisively then shot me a smirk.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, you're _funny_," I said sarcastically, and shifted my gaze to the shadows in the corner of the alley. "It's just weird. I would think that dark corridor or not, I'd still…" _I don't know. Is it just that the light my heart was putting out wasn't enough against the darkness? That's… kind of scary._

"Miyuki…"

He stepped towards me and something cold and thin wrapped around my wrist.

"_Shit_!"

Tears pooled in my eyes as I dropped my ice cream and shook my hand, trying to step away from the vine. No matter how much I swung my hand or backed up, it just snaked down my arm, his words ringing in my head, just as icy and disturbing as when he hissed them in my ear.

"_You're _submerged_ in darkness. What did you think moving it around was going to do?" _

"_Augh_!" I screamed, coming out of my skin.

"…_I've been alone… for _so _long…"_

Riku grabbed my arm and tugged me into the darkened corner of the alley, covering my mouth with one hand. _He's turning back into—? _ I turned to punch him in the jaw, but he gripped my arms, one in each hand, and pinned me against the wall. "Miyuki, _stop_," he said quietly, sternly.

"_What are you doing_?" I hissed.

"Trust me," he said, his hands sliding from my arms.

With a soft _whoosh_ of air moving, he disappeared in the middle of the shadows, and I realized he'd reassembled at the turn in the alley, pulling his hood up and peeking around the wall. I rubbed my arm with my hand and touched something wet – ice cream. Humiliation washed over me. I'd flipped out, not because darkness had resurfaced and was trying to capture me. It was sugary frozen dairy product molesting me this time. My face burned bright red. _I'm such a friggin' idiot…_

Another soft, unnatural breeze and Riku was suddenly in front of me again, taking me gently by the arm and reassembling us to the rooftop. "Stay low." _If we're supposed to stay low, why are we on a rooftop?_ "Ninth member's here."

I stiffened, my hands clenching into fists. _All this time to think about Orlando and the Organization, and I haven't come up with _any_ ideas of what I'd do if I had an opportunity like this again?_

"Ahh. Now this is the kind of mission I could get used to," came a masculine voice from the alley as a black-clad figure strolled relaxedly through it. "No one around… Total silence… Nothing to do but look for some pipsqueak that we _know_ isn't here…"

I took a half-step forward. _What do we do? If that Organization member captures me, I can find Orlando and get him out of there… I don't know how, but I'd find a way…I just can't leave Orlando alone… He may not be alive, but if he is, I can't leave him…_ I took another step and Riku gripped my arm, leaning towards me.

"Don't," he whispered vehemently.

I pushed his hand off, glaring at him. "I can't leave him there alone."

"Miyu—"

I jumped off the edge of the roof, landing behind the Organization member. "Hey!" I shouted at him, dusting myself off. "I had no idea you'd be here." I heard that unnatural breeze and ran forward to avoid Riku and tap the ninth member on the shoulder.

He turned, sized me up a moment, then flipped down his hood. "Hel-_lo_." He had blonde hair that was sticking straight up at the top and laying flat on his neck in the back, with two strands hanging down in his face.

I feigned surprise. "Y-You're not… him…"

"Oh? So you know who _he_ is, then?"

Another unnatural breeze – I stepped back quickly. Riku was materializing and immaterializing quickly enough that we couldn't see him, so he_ had_ to have been tired from all the reassembling by now.

"I-I don't know anything," I stammered, hoping I wasn't laying it on too thick.

"You hang out with a guy in this kinda coat a lot, huh?" the blonde said, stepping forward.

"N-No, never," I said, vigorously shaking my head. _Just steal me away already, idiot._

"Uh-huh. Look, kid, I think you'd better come with me." He took a step towards me.

"Well…" I knit my eyebrows. _Either this guy is easily duped, ignores the little warning that goes off in his head, or I should've gone for acting school._

"Just for a little—" His hand stretched out towards mine and I felt that telling breeze – Riku now stood in front of the blonde.

"No!" I gripped his arm and tried to tug him back towards me, but to no avail. He slammed his left elbow into the blonde's nose and threw his fist into his gut.

"What—?" The blonde stumbled backwards and Riku opened a dark corridor behind him, snapping it shut the minute the ninth member fell into it.

"Damn it, Riku!" I shouted.

"You want everyone to hear you? We're not talking _here_," he said, opening a second corridor and walking towards it. He stopped at the edge of it and looked over his shoulder expectantly at me.

"I'm not going in that hell hole," I spat.

He wavered, looking back at the corridor ahead of him. It dissipated and he turned to stomp down the alley, back towards the mansion. I followed about ten feet behind, arms crossed. The only noise outside as we stormed along was the occasional natural breeze, and the buzzing of a neon light flickering on and off in the window of the pizza parlor. The only noise in my head was the fizzle of anger building up.

Riku stepped into the library and I followed wordlessly as he flipped his hood down and turned to look at me.

"Do you _want_ to be tortured?" he asked, crossing his arms, teal eyes livid.

"Yes," I said sarcastically. "I have a paper cut on my eyelid, wanna get some lemon juice?"

"What the _hell_ were you thinking?"

"It'd be really fun to piss you off, obviously!" I scoffed, gesturing to him.

"Tell me what you were going to do! I'd _really_ like to hear that!"

"I was _trying_ to help Orlando! Remember? The scared, defenseless kid who you almost mauled with a heartless last night?"

"Stop being sarcastic! How was getting captured the Organization going to do _anything_ for Orlando?" He pointed in the direction the rest of the town was in with his right hand, his left hand clenched into a fist.

"I could find him, I could get him _out_ of there!"

"No, Miyuki! You _couldn't_!" he said, his voice cracking. "You would just be put in your own little cell and probed for information like Orlando has been! You would have no idea how to find him in their castle, and _no idea_ how to get _out_ of there!"

"I would figure it out!"

"No, you wouldn't!"

"Stop _saying_ that!"

"It's true!"

"For the love of god! Do I need some savior to do _everything_ for me, or do I have _some_ worth other than playing psychiatrist?"

His eyebrows knit at me, his voice lowering a notch. "_What_?"

I started counting on my fingers, my voice's volume the same, if not louder. "I can't fight off your dark side. I can't help Orlando. I can't encourage Naminé without her going all extremist. Is there something I _can_ do? Because the list must be _pretty fucking short_!"

We stared at each other for a long moment, Riku looking somewhat taken aback, my face hot and throat sore from all the screaming.

"And I dropped my fucking ice cream!" I muttered, walking into the foyer and slamming the door behind me.

I stomped up the steps of the foyer and shot a look at the other hall – DiZ's bedroom door being the first on that side. I wavered for a minute, then thought I heard the library door beginning to open again. Not in the mood to talk to Riku at the moment, I hurried to DiZ's door and slid inside, shutting it as quickly and quietly as I could.

I took a deep breath and looked over to see DiZ sprawled across his bed, his arm and head hanging off the side, near a small trash can (which was empty, thankfully). I turned and leaned my back against his door, surprised at seeing him without every single article of clothing secured in place.

His cape, scarf, and belts were all draped over his chair. The red scarf always wound so tightly around his head was now a little loose, hanging down over his one eye that was usually left uncovered. Little strands of silver hair were spilling out, the tan skin on the back of his neck showing through.

_No doubt about it now. He looks just like Xehanort, too._ I crossed my arms. _That guy… that heartless… is like an airborne cancer or something._

I shuddered at the thought of that icy voice inside my ear – freezing vines winding around me, binding me – fingernails drawing blood from my cheek. I raised my hand to feel where he'd cut into me and felt two small lumps.

_It's healed over that quickly? _I leaned my head against the door, shutting my eyes. _Riku must've taken care of it…_ I could get myself to not talk to him, but not thinking about him was a bit more difficult. _If he hadn't stopped that guy – if I'd have gone to take Orlando back – I'd be wondering what to do and say, how to get out of something I really couldn't get out of. But I'd be _doing_ something. That's what pisses me off. I can't do anything to help anyone anymore. The most I did was bring back one guy from being a heartless, and now… he's probably dead._

My hands curled into fists.

_And I had two chances to change that, and I blew both of them. That is, _if_ I could really change anything._ I slammed my head hard against the door.

"I've worked… hard…" DiZ mumbled.

I carefully opened the door and snuck back into the hallway, holding my breath, trying hard not to make any noise. I walked towards my bedroom and hesitated at the door, casting a glance at Riku's.

_He was right. But it doesn't change the fact that I feel useless._

I stepped inside and flipped on the light, going to sit on my bed.

_No… useless isn't quite it. I don't think I'm doing much, but I don't feel _completely_ useless. I'm pretty sure I make Riku feel better now and then, and that's something…_

I started to untie my shoe when I caught sight of something beneath my bed. I leaned over the side and tugged it out – my towel that I'd lost earlier.

"But I _checked_ here," I muttered, pulling it up onto my lap, a little piece of paper tumbling onto the floor as I did. It was a receipt from the general store, and when I flipped it over, my eyes fell on tiny chicken-scratch scribbles that I mumbled to myself as I read. "I talked 2these guys cuz they dress like Riku &I wanted to help u out, but Im guessin he's not pals with 'em, huh? Dont worry tho, 1 guy here's cool, he's makin sure Im ok. Have an awesome day!"

I shook my head. _You write with hardly any grammar to save space, but you can squeeze in "have an awesome day"?_ I re-read the note a few times before putting it in my pocket, setting the towel on my bed. I left my room and after checking his bedroom and the kitchen, I found Riku in the library. His coat hung over the back of the chair as he sat at the desk, his arms folded on it, his head laying on them.

I walked towards him, stopping about six feet from his chair. "I'm sorry I was a bitch," I said quietly.

He jumped a little at my voice and turned around. "It's okay. I wasn't exactly Prince Charming."

I snorted, hooking my thumbs on my pockets. "Thank god."

He stood up. "I get that you want to save Orlando – believe me, I _do_ – I just _don't_ think there's anything we can do for him. Not now, anyway."

I nodded, my eyes trained on the floor. "I know."

"So when I saw you go down and try to get yourself captured, it just—"

"I'm sorry. It was stupid."

He nodded. "Yeah."

I swallowed and brought my eyes up to his. He was smiling a little and I tried to smile back but it wasn't quite as sincere. "I… I don't feel useless. I mean, I can't do anything for Orlando and it's killing me, but it's not just useless…" I swallowed again, my voice lowering with the confession. "I'm worried. And that's… sort of new for me." Riku stepped towards me – I could tell he didn't know how exactly to react. "I'm scared for him. I'm scared for us."

He opened his mouth and shut it again. There was a pause.

"So, uh, Orlando left me a note last night," I said, pulling the receipt out and handing it to him.

"_What_?" He snatched the paper from me and read it quickly, his face turning from surprise to an expression I couldn't decipher. "…Oh."

"'Oh' what? Why don't you sound surprised? I had no idea anyone in the Organization had sympathy for whole-hearted people."

He handed the note back to me, looking a little relieved. "I wouldn't worry about Orlando so much anymore."

"What? Why?" My eyebrows knit at him as I stuffed the note into my pocket.

"When I was in Castle Oblivion, this guy Axel ended up helping me out. He actually gave me this jacket." He thumbed to the coat on the back of the chair.

"He helped you impersonate an Organization member?"

"Yeah. Don't tell DiZ – he thinks I stole it, and I don't want him knowing I'm grateful to a Nobody."

"Why did Axel help you?"

He hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. "The only thing he wants is his best friend back. We have that in common."

I nodded slowly. "And… If DiZ tells you to off him?"

"If I have to kill him to bring Sora back, I will. But if he's not doing any harm to Sora or Kairi – or _you_ – I haven't got a problem."

There was a pause. "So we're good now, right?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah." He smiled a little.

"Good, because… I don't know, I really just…" I looked down as I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him. _I need a damn hug._


	38. Chapter 38 Roots

_His face inches closer to mine, his breath in my face, his hand sliding across my shoulder to my neck. I can't move. I can't speak. I can't take my eyes from the yellow ones burning into mine – not that there was anything else to look at in the darkness. His thumb presses against the base of my neck, his fingers gripping the back of it. His hands are cold and clammy, raising goose bumps on my sweaty skin. "Don't leave me alone."_

_A ghostly white hand grips Xehanort's neck from behind – a second one grips his upper arm, just below his shoulder. _

"_I told you," Riku says, teal eyes glistening at me from behind Xehanort. He tears the heartless' arm from his shoulder, dark purple liquid gushing from it, vines recoiling themselves back beneath his tan skin. "If he touches you, I'm ripping his arms out of his sockets. I told you." He starts to toss the arm aside, but as he lets go mid-air, the vines extend and latch onto his wrist. They crawl up his arm so quickly it's only a moment before it's completely covered. His expression is cynical, unsurprised – and now we stand on the shores of Destiny Islands. _

"_I have accepted it," Riku mutters. The black vines begin wrapping over his torso, legs and other arm. All I can do is stand still and stare at his aquamarine eyes, praying they don't change their color. Finally, the vines crawl up his neck, sliding up towards his eye._

_I finally step forward, my hand lifting to his cheek. "Don't leave me alone."_

I sat up in bed and gripped the sheets, sweaty and scared. I scanned my black room for eyes – any eyes – and didn't feel any better when I didn't see them. My chest was heaving with each breath and my head felt light. _Maybe I'm just dehydrated._

It was two in the morning at least, the moon shining through the windows of the hall as I wandered down to the kitchen. I felt along the lumps on my face – they were barely there anymore.

"_What do you think you're doing?" I scoffed._

"_Consuming you."_

I ran my hand through my hair as I stepped onto the tile, chills running up my spine as my bare feet hit the cool wood. I held my glass beneath the faucet and turned on the tap, the sudden rush of noise scaring me so badly that the glass fell into the sink and shattered.

"_Miyuki… After what happened today… Are you sure you don't want to go—"_

_I stood up. "Don't make me hit you," I growled._

_His expression was collected, steady. "I am _just_ seeing if you haven't been rattled by what's happened."_

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and turned away from the sink, sitting down at the table. I rested my elbows on it and laid my face in my hands. _I need to get a grip._ My heart was pounding in my ears, my latest dream replaying itself in my head over and over.

_What's wrong with me? Why am I so freaked out? Orlando's going to be alright, I think. And Naminé is back to doing what she needs to. And Riku and I are doing what we need to. So what am I afraid of?_

"And you scold me on the importance of sleeping patterns," scoffed a voice from the doorway.

I looked over and stood up immediately at what I saw – bright gold eyes were staring cooly at me beneath tan eyelids. After a frozen moment of holding my breath and praying I was stronger in the kitchen than in the corridor, I realized that he wasn't moving. His arms were folded behind his back, his expression was placid, factual, and long grey hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, several rebel strands framing his face.

"DiZ? You… You decided to lose the turban-fail?" I stammered.

"Excuse me?"

"Your scarf is gone."

"Yes, it is. I wasn't aware anyone was still up and about. Had I known, I'd have thought twice aout removing it."

I shrugged. "I don't care."

"Obviously." He shot a meaningful look at my chair I'd knocked over while I'd jumped up, and I gave him the once-over. The scarves, the belts, and the cape was gone, leaving nothing but that odd black robe. Adjusting to the fact that he was not the mental rapist, but the moody, obsessive scientist I knew and tolerated, was a little difficult. "I've interrupted. I'll leave you."

"No, it's fine. I just… I thought you'd still be hungover." I turned my chair upright and sat in it as he filled his own glass of water.

"Well, I'm not quite my usual self, but I can function." He sat down across from me and we stared at each other; I was thinking too hard about how to bring up the mysterious Aoki to really notice that being stared at intently might make him feel awkward. "You have something to say?" he asked, his expression still calm.

…_May as well dive right in._ "Who's Aoki?"

The expression shifted to discomfort. "How do you know that name?"

"You called me Aoki when we fought this evening."

His eyebrows knit. "I recall speaking with you. I apologize for my demeanor. However, I don't recall calling you anything other than—"

"You told me to stop rocking the boat. You said I'd ruin everything, then you called me Aoki."

"Stop saying that."

"What, Aoki?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

He shifted uncomfortably, staring at the wall. "I… It's a long story. It would bore you immensely."

"I like long stories. Even if it _is_ boring, I need to sleep, anyway."

He threw me a look that might have been amused, if he hadn't been so ill at ease. He sighed, sitting back in his chair and crossing his arms, staring at his lap. "Aoki was… a friend."

"Close friend?"

A smile crept onto his face. "I should _hope_ so," he snorted, "I was going to…" The smile faded. "Yes, we were close."

"What happened with her?" I asked quietly.

"She never liked my studying darkness. She would scold me about it constantly, though I told her time and time again that my discoveries would _save_ us, build up our world…" His voice became low and breathy, his eyes dancing from one spot to the other across his lap. "I didn't have time to tell her that I'd ceased my studies before darkness… overwhelmed us."

I swallowed. "I'm so sorry."

"No, _I_ am sorry." He brought his eyes up to mine – at first glance, he looked calm, but when I really looked, I saw tears collecting in the corner of his eyes. "I have begun something cruel and ugly and merciless. I cannot reverse it."

We stared at each other for a long moment, my mind blank. He took a last sip of water, stood up, and headed for the door.

"D-DiZ?" I stammered, standing up carefully.

He paused, barely looking at me over his shoulder. "Yes?"

"Aoki… She'd forgive you," I said.

Another pause, and he walked out without a word.

I set his glass next to the sink and walked out to the foyer, hearing his door shut as I wandered up the steps and into my room. I laid down and shut my eyes, trying to shut out all the agony that was at the front of my mind.

_I stand on the bridge on Destiny Islands, staring at Riku, Sora and Kairi in front of me as they sat on the tree, watching the sunset._

"_So nothing's changed, huh?" Sora says cheerily._

"_Nope," Kairi says._

"_Guess not," Riku says, his tone as happy as Sora's._

_A pang of loneliness hit me like a blow to the ribs. "Nothing?" I mutter. I walk down to the shore, rubbing the back of my neck. I intend to go get ice cream on my own. "If nothing's changed, that's fine," I tell myself. The moment I step into the water, my surroundings change. I'm stepping into the ice cream parlor, scanning for my Dad's face. I know he's here. He's always here. He's always in reach when I'm dreaming._

_But I can't see him._

"_Chocolate cone, right?" a girl from behind the counter smiles at me – I recognize her as Aoki._

"_No, we like sea-salt." A warm arm wraps around my shoulders, silver hair brushing against my neck. "And bacon."_

My eyes open to the smell and I look over to see Riku sitting on the edge of the bed holding two plates full of food. I sat up and stared at him warily, still half-asleep. "Why are you in my room when it's still dark?"

"It's not like I'm not wearing clothes."

I stared at him a minute. "_Why_ does your mind go there _every time_ we talk?"

"Eat your food. I know you're hungry."

"How?" I asked, sounding thoroughly disgusted.

"I walked in and you were talking about chocolate ice cream."

"Doesn't mean I'm hungry."

"Eat it," he commanded, waving the plate in my face.

"Why did you bring me breakfast?"

"What, does it smell bad?"

"No, it smells fine, I just—"

"Then take the plate."

I took the plate, glaring at him. "What gives, Riku?" I demanded.

"We're taking a day off today."

"_What_?" My eyes narrowed at him. "We just heard last night that the Organization knows Roxas isn't—"

"I spoke to DiZ this morning. He has an idea of their next step, and he said he wants to handle it. Not that he _can_ if he _has_ to, but that he _will_ because he _wants_ to."

I recalled what he'd said early this morning. _"I have started something cruel… I cannot reverse it." No wonder he wants to do something more._ "But… 'taking a day off'…"

"You're not getting out of this."

"But are you sure…? It's not like we don't need all hands on deck, you know what I mean? Better safe than—"

"Are you going to make this difficult, or let me make you feel better?"

I stared at him a moment. My tone was sarcastic when I finally spoke. "What makes you think I don't feel—?"

"Shut up and eat your bacon."

After finishing breakfast, I stumbled into the bathroom to change while Riku stood in my bedroom talked to me through the door.

"What time _is_ it, anyway?" I asked, tugging off my shirt.

"Oh, six-thirty or so."

"Six-thirty?" I paused as I pulled on my tank top. "In the morning?"

"No."

"_What_?"

"Yes, it's six-thirty in the morning! Why would I let you sleep all day?"

"Depends what you had planned for tonight," I remarked.

"_Now_ whose mind is 'going there'?"

"Speaking of plans…" I opened the door and shoved my sleep-clothes into his arms, walking over to the chair where my hoodie laid. "What day-off-activities did you plan that require being awake at six-thirty in the morning?"

"Knocking off a liquor store, pulling a bank job."

"Oh, the usual." I shrugged, nodding.

He smiled and chucked the clothes onto the bed, walking towards me and taking my hand. "Ready to go, then?"

"Just lemme grab my sack with the big dollar sign on it…" I turned as if to look for this sack in my dresser, but he was tugging me out the door and I wasn't that determined to mess with him just yet.

We walked down the steps, warm sunlight just beginning to pour over the horizon and into the foyer. His hand slid from my arm as he held the door open for me, walking a little ways behind me as we exited the courtyard.

"It's turning to autumn," I said, smiling a little and turning to face him, walking backwards.

"Feels good," he said.

I could see goosebumps prickling on his skin. "You cold?"

"Nah." I stared at him incredulously. "Well, I expected it to be warmer out, but when the sun comes up, I'll be fine."

"You sure you don't wanna go grab your jacket?"

"I need to spend some time away from that uniform," he grumbled, his expression going a little dark.

I made a face of mock-sorrow. "It just wants your love, R—" I stumbled backwards and before I could catch myself, my bum collided with a knobby tree root.

"You okay?" Riku snickered, offering a hand to help me up.

"I tripped on a root."

"I noticed."

"Root here meaning antichrist."

"You tripped on an antichrist?"

"In this day and age?" I took his hand, wobbling to my feet and glaring at the demon root. "They're _everywhere_."

"Well it's a good thing I'm here to protect you," he remarked.

"Oh yes." I gave him a sarcastic smile. "What _would_ I do without you?"

He held my hand up as if it was an example. "You'd still be sitting with the antichrist." He dropped it and walked on through the woods, me following behind and squinting at him.

* * *

**You guys... with your reviews... AUGH. It makes me so happy. X3 You guys are awesome, thank you so much for reaching this point in the story!**


	39. Chapter 39 Boardwalk

"The beach?" We stood on the overcast boardwalk, me staring at Riku incredulously as a breeze kicked up, running through my hoodie and making the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

"Why not?" he replied, smiling.

"I'm not exactly equipped for swimming." I looked down at my clothes.

"Just skinny-dip." I glared at him, zipping up my hoodie, and he smirked. "Relax. It was a joke." He got on one knee and untied his shoes. "Want to go for a walk?" I snorted loudly and he looked up at me. "What?"

I lowered my voice to mock his as he rolled up his pants. "Hi. I'm Riku. I like puppies, poetry, and long walks on the beach."

"And poking dead things with a stick," he added, rolling up the cuff of his pants. He stood up and shrugged non-chalantly, the breeze prickling goosebumps up on his skin.

"We should buy you a hoodie first," I said.

He rolled his eyes. "Miyuki. I am _fine_. You gonna walk barefoot, or do you prefer to get sand in your shoes?"

"I prefer that you don't freeze."

He got on one knee again, untying _my_ shoes this time. "You keep preaching, I'll just take these off for you."

I looked around. "Are there any shops open?"

"In all probability."

Every building I looked at had closed doors and windows, with nothing on their porches and no signs out. "Looks like they're all shut up."

"A storm's gonna hit later today." He pulled off my shoe and I stepped backwards, bending down to meet his eye level.

"I'm not stepping onto that sand until you're comfortable."

"Why are you so sure I'm _not_ comfortable?"

"Your teeth are chattering."

"They are _not_."

"Are too!"

He snatched my ankle and yanked off my other shoe. "There." He stood up, tied the laces together, and laid them over my right shoulder. I crossed my arms. "Look, even if I _did_ need a hoodie, it's not like any of the shops are open."

"We could go downtown—"

"You gonna roll up your pants?"

"Stop telling me what to do!" I scoffed.

"You first!" He got down on one knee for a third time, and traced the hem of my right pant leg, twisting his fingers against my calf as he rolled the fabric up. This was making me jumpy, and I felt stupid for being that way.

I stepped back. "_I_ can do it." I leaned down and started rolling it myself, Riku standing up as we both fell silent. I stood up and we stared at each other a moment. "You're still cold," I said matter-of-factly.

"You're still being obnoxious. We're not going downtown and getting me a hoodie because A: I'm comfortable, and B: we need to take our walk before the storm hits."

I twisted my lips to one side. "Well… Yeah, I guess you're right."

He nodded and stepped off the boardwalk and onto the sand, walking towards the edge of the water. I followed a little behind him, watching him curiously, uncertain of what was going through his head.

_I wonder how close Naminé is to finishing up?_ I thought. _She must be pretty close, if DiZ is cool with us taking a day off… What is he thinking? Not that I don't appreciate it, it's just… Why…?_

"So DiZ said you and him talked last night?" Riku said, stopping to pick up a rock.

"He said that?" My eyebrows raised a little. "Yeah, we did."

"D'you find out who Aoki is?"

"Yeah… I think she was his fiancé."

He was studying the rock as we stood side by side, facing the ocean. "Hm." He turned it over in his hand and held it out towards me. "What do you think about this stone?"

I arched an eyebrow. "Well… It's very nice." It was charcoal gray with pale pink stripes, smoothed and flat. "What, are you going to murder me with it?"

He snorted. "Oh yeah, I always murder girls at the beach."

"Why are we examining a stone?" I asked, laughing a little.

"Why _wouldn't_ we?" he said with mock solemnity.

"Because we have dead things to poke and deep thoughts to think. We don't have _time_ for your shiny pink rock."

"We _always_ have time for shiny rocks." He put it in my hand, still laying it on thick. "_Always_."

I shook my head at him. "You're so full of it." I stuck the stone in my pocket and stared at the ocean, whose waves were starting to kick up with the wind. There was a short, silent pause – then Riku stepped forward into the water. "Hey! You're going to freeze!" I grabbed his arm and started to tug him back – then I realized the water was fairly warm. "…Huh. This is actually nice." I stepped up beside him, the water reaching halfway up my calves, beating against them vigorously.

"Told you I don't need a jacket," he said, shooting me a look before staring ahead intently once more.

I snorted. "Whatever, Batman."

A stretch of silence hung between us, the clouds darkening and writhing in the sky. The ocean was a threatening shade of dark blue, the waves kicking up angrily.

"So you remind DiZ of his fiancé?"

"I guess."

"How?"

"We both nagged him," I smirked, still staring ahead.

He snorted. "No doubt." He paused. "Miyuki… If our lives were normal…" I stared at him from the corner of my eyes. "…This isn't…"

"Spit it out."

He turned his head to face me. "I'm not going to leave you the minute we get home. I mean – things are so crazy – I don't want you thinking I think this way because you're the only girl around."

"What way?"

His eyebrows knit. "What?"

"What way do you think?" I arched an eyebrow at him.

He arched one right back. "You're a big girl. Figure it out."

"You think in the way of me, topless?"

"Tch. You do the same thing."

"Only because you actually _do_ strut around topless!"

"_Who_ struts?"

"You!"

"I do not!" He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, please!" I flexed my arms and spoke in that mocking voice again. "'I'm so buffed out and manly. Look at my muscles. Look at my abs.'"

"What I was _trying_ to say before this conversation took a bizarre turn, is that what I think about you won't change when we get home."

"And as much as I appreciate that, what compelled you to say this?"

"I dreamt that I was sitting on the island last night, and you were off to the side, not looking too happy. I wanted to make sure you know what I'm really thinking."

I smiled. "Thank you."

He looked forward and nodded sharply. "Sure. –Ah, we better go." He turned abruptly and started towards the boardwalk again at a surprising pace.

"What, because of the storm?" I followed behind, a bit confused.

"Er – yeah – the storm is – not good." He rubbed the back of his neck, staring down and quickeing his step.

I was now jogging to catch up, and took his hand in mine. "What's wrong?"

He snapped his hand from me and stepped away, holding both hands out towards me. "Stop – it's just – go get our shoes and get to the station, I'll meet you there in a minute."

I stared at him blankly a minute. "You're either freaking out because you just said something commitment-related, or—"

"_Go to the goddamn station, Miyuki_!" he roared, his hands clenching into fists at his sides, his voice cracking in the tension.

"No," I replied, trying to keep my head. "No. Something's wrong." I stared intently at him – his pupils were contracting and expanding. _You look like you're on drugs! What's going on?_

He turned and gripped his head in both hands, leaning forward and screaming. "_Augh_! I fucking _hate you_!"

My heart felt like it'd spontaneously combusted. "Wh—?"

"Get out… of my head…"

I stepped towards him. "It's Xehanort…?"

"No! She _doesn't give a shit_! Holy mother of _god_!"

I laid a hand on his back. "Ri—"

He turned, swinging a fist at me. I stumbled backwards, falling onto my butt. He leaned down towards me, angry tears pooling in aquamarine eyes.

"What's going on?" I snapped, trying to stand up – but he was leaning over me so close that I couldn't stand without pushing him back first. "You're freaking me out," I whispered.

His face inched closer to mine – he moved his mouth to my ear, hissing in it fervently. "He's so loud. I'm losing it. I'm losing myself. Please go to the station, Miyuki, _please_." Thunder growled in the distance, threatening to come closer.

"I'm not leaving you," I said, shaking my head. I brushed my fingers against his neck.

"But _I'm_ leaving me," he breathed, wrapping a hand around the back of my neck. Thunder cracked overhead, lingering with a bass note that made the ground shiver. His voice turned deep and icey cold. "That boy has no idea how to take control. I _will_ have you."

I slid my hand into his hair. _Oh god. How am I going to stop you?_ It was Xehanort controlling Riku's body now, there was no doubt. I gripped his hair, twisting it in my fist and yanking towards myself, slamming my knee into his groin.

"Stupid girl!" he breathed, sliding his thumb to the front of my throat, beginning to choke me. I pulled his hair harder and wrapped one leg around his torso, shoving him to the ground. My foot was crushed beneath his shoulderblade and I was straddling his stomach – his hand was reaching for my throat again and I let go of his hair to grab his wrist and pin it to his chest. I slammed my free foot down on his other arm. I punched him in the throat. The foot beneath him was falling asleep.

_Gravaga. Now you'll be too weighted down to go anywhere, and I can wait for Riku to come—_

"You think that's enough?" he scoffed.

He ripped his arms from my grip and before I could react, I was sent flying, landing on my back some ten feet from where I'd pinned him. I struggled to get back on my feet, considering one was completely numb, but I did it. Xehanort, possessing Riku's abilities, was now standing inches from me, gripping my head in his hands, staring into me with teal eyes.

"What if I kill her? Then you'll have no troubles at all," he said absentmindedly.

"Stop," I commanded, my voice low.

He smiled condescendingly. "I just _bow_ to your command," he scoffed.

"Riku," I said, swallowing. _I know you're listening._ "It's him talking, but I see _you_. I _know_ you're there."

"Knowing does nothing, you stupid little girl."

I grit my teeth. "He's manipulating you. I know who's really in there."

"I think I _will_ k—"

I ripped his hands from my face and pressed my lips against his, shutting my eyes as tightly as possible. _This was mistake. He's going to rape me and kill me. Oh, god. It's a mistake. What's wrong with me? Am I _that_ eager to get in Riku's pants? I'm such a fucking idiot._

His mouth parted from mine and he whispered in my ear, his voice warm and young. "I'm so sorry." My heart leapt and I hooked my arms around him – I could feel that he was freezing cold, and the wind wasn't helping. "Why didn't you leave?" I clutched myself to him, burying my face in his neck, my mind blank. My heart was pounding in my ears – his heart was pounding against mine. The skin on his neck was freezing – the skin on my face, burning. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." _I just took a huge risk. I'm so glad it worked. I'm so glad you're back._

Rain began pelting us, thunder growling around us, and he laid a hand on my shoulder. "We should get out of the rain."

I nodded and pulled back, a little embarrassed. I'd been clinging to him and the greatest gesture I'd gotten in return was a hand on my shoulder. I followed him back to the boardwalk, where we grabbed our shoes and walked to the porch of one of the shut up vendors. We sat cross-legged on the floorboard as the rain poured down, the wind blowing it every which way – including underneath the banner we were sheltered by – our backs against the building, Riku on my right. It was awkward.

_Why are we so stiff? Why are we so quiet? We even spoke after the dark corridor incident. Why aren't we speaking now?_

I pulled the rock out of my pocket and held it out to him. "Shiny stone for your thoughts."

He took it with the tiniest hint of a smile that disappeared quickly. "I hate him… so, so much."

"I know."

"I…" He swallowed. "I don't want it to be like that."

I stared at him confusedly a moment. "You don't want to hate him?"

"No, no – well, it'd be great if he wasn't himself and I didn't have any reason to hate him, but I meant that… I don't want…"

I snorted as he trailed off again. "And this is how you win your 'Most Forthright Speaker of the Day' award."

"I don't want you to kiss me as a way of escaping Xehanort."

My eyebrows popped up. _Well. I _did_ want you to talk._ "So how was I supposed to—?"

"No, I mean, I just… I don't want it to be about that." He looked over at me, his eyes dancing back and forth across my face.

I nodded slowly. "Agreed." There was a long pause. "Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"You know what happened while Xehanort took you over?"

"Yeah, I know."

"It wouldn't have been so bad if you were the one in control."

His eyebrows raised slightly and his face went red. "Oh, really?"

"Just wanted to make sure you know what I'm really thinking."

"I appreciate that," he said.

We stared back at the storm and I felt a warm hand wrap around mine.

* * *

**Oh my lanta. So much going on! Thanks for taking time to read this, I know we're all super busy this time of year. ^^' Your reviews were all amazing! A bazillion thanks for all the support!**


	40. Chapter 40 Brink of Surrender

We stepped into one of the stores downtown, soaked to the bone with rain.

"I don't need—"

"We are _not_ here for jackets," I lied. "We're just here to get out of the maelstrom."

He shot me a look. "Why don't I believe that?"

"Because I'm not trustworthy."

A girl in skinny jeans and an obnoxiously pink top bounced over. "Wow, you guys were out in the storm?"

I smiled. "More than you know."

"Wow. That's… Wow. Well, if you see anything you like, all our vests, jackets and coats are half off, and you'll get a scratchcard at the checkout that will get you an extra ten, twenty or thirty percent off your entire purchase. I'll be in the back if you need anything."

"Thanks," I replied, and she bounced away again. I looked at Riku, shimmying out of my hoodie. "Sixty, seventy, or eighty percent off. You can't beat that!"

He glared at me. "You set this up."

"Did not! I wasn't even aware Pepto-Bismol Barbie existed until she shoved amazing prices up our nose."

"'Nose'? Not 'noses'? We have a mutual nose?"

I ignored this remark and wandered over to a rack of coats. "Ooh." I held one up and showed it to Riku – a brown leather jacket with hundreds of tassles on the shoulders and sleeves. "Go for the Native-American-Biker look."

"You're cracked," he scoffed, taking it from me and putting it back on the rack.

I pulled out a black and blue plaid one. "Now this is actually kinda cool. Try it."

"What? No. I don't do patterns."

"'Don't do patterns'? What, now you're an opinionated fashionista?" I took it off the hanger and held it out towards him. "Try it! You might like it."

"I'm drenched. I can't try on a coat and get it wet when _I'm not buying it_."

"Tch, like Barbie will mind." I grabbed his arm and tried to pull it into the sleeve, but he backed away.

"What's _that_ mean?"

"It means all you'll have to do is bat your pretty blue eyes and smile like a gentleman and she'll melt so quickly the least of her problems will be drying a coat."

He took the coat from me and wadded it up, setting it on top of the coat rack. "Maybe you forgot, but you are the only one who sees me as _me_."

I stuck my tongue out at him and stuck the coat back on a hanger. "Well, no matter who you look like, you need some kind of protection from the elements. I don't want you freezing to death." I put the coat back and walked over to a rack of vests.

"I'm not going to freeze to death," he scoffed, following me.

"No, you're not, because you're getting _this_!" I whipped out a vest that was covered in long pink fur.

"That's a girl's vest," he said, crossing his arms.

I showed him the tag. "No, it's not."

He took a step back. "I could've lived without knowing that."

I laughed and put it back, rifling through the other options. "Ooh, more plaid – oh, wait, Riku doesn't _do_ patterns…" I said mockingly.

"Look, let's just leave, okay?"

"How about this?" I pulled out a yellow vest and held it up towards him. "It's thick, it has a billion pockets and zippers, so if it isn't warm enough, we can stuff cotton in the bazillion pockets and you'll be a warm, fluffy yellow marshmallow." I smiled.

He stared at it a minute. "…How much is it?"

I strategically wiggled the price tag into my fingers. "So you like it?"

"That depends on the price."

"You like it!" I said victoriously.

"_How much does it cost_?"

"Enough munny to feed a small country," I said dramatically.

"Why won't you show me the tag?" He reached for it and I stepped back, holding the vest out at arm's length from him.

"I'm going Dutch!"

"_What_? No, Miyuki, you're not buying me that vest."

"You can't stop me!" I turned and started towards the counter, but he wrapped one arm around my waist and tried to tug the vest out of my hands. I gripped it with both hands and tugged back. "Mine!" I squeaked.

"Let me see it!"

I leaned forward, trying to escape his grip, and lost balance, relying solely on Riku's arm to stay upright.

"_Drop the girl, pervert_!" bellowed a masculine voice behind us.

Riku swung around, dragging me with him, and I now faced a man who looked like Dick Tracy. Trench coat, hat, and a revolver – all of this, staring me from the doorway, where rain and blowing in and soaking the floor.

"What?" Riku said, about to laugh.

"Hang in there, Alicia," the man said, glancing at me encouragingly, then glaring at Riku. He couldn't have been older than thirty. "We'll get you home!"

"What?" I stared at him wide-eyed, struggling to stand upright and still clutch the vest.

"I _knew_ it was that girl who ran away from home!" cried Barbie from the depths of the store.

_So she decided to call a cop?_ "I'm not—!"

"And now you've been caught by a dirty old rapist!" The man's eyes narrowed in disgust.

"No, that's—!"

"Shh," Riku whispered loudly in my ear, tightening his grip around my waist. "We both know you like it."

I stared at him in horror. "_Now_ who's cracked?" I muttered.

"Let go of the girl!" the cop demanded.

"This is my _friend_!" I squawked.

"Yes… Yes, your friend… That's exactly what I am…" Riku murmured ominously, nodding.

"You… You _brainwashed_ her?" the cop said, awestruck.

I hung my head. "For the love of…"

"_Hand her over or I'll shoot_!" he bellowed.

"Now _there's_ a good idea!" I shouted sarcastically.

Riku tugged me so that I was directly in front of him and bent a little, resting his head on my shoulder, both arms wrapped around my waist as he backed away. "She's mine…" he whispered loudly at him. "…_forever_."

I shook my head, staring at the cop disgustedly. "This is ridiculous."

"I will save you, Alicia!" he cried.

"I don't _need_ saved, moron!" I retorted.

"No… Not at all…" Riku reached one hand up to my face and brushed his fingers against my cheek. "_I _am your lover… _I_ am your _savior_… Mwahaha…"

I stared at him with a bewildered expression. "What _even_…?"

"Hold still, Alicia!" the cop says, and I see his hand tighten around the revolver.

"Oh, _shit_!" I screamed, gripping the hand around my waist with both of mine.

"Foolish mortal!" Riku snapped. I heard a sharp crack, and all at once we stood in the middle of the empty road, being pelted with rain. "That was _fun_," he said happily, and we now stood beneath an awning in front of a restaurant. He let go of me and pulled on the vest, tugging the tag off.

"You… What…?" I stared at him blankly a moment. "Riku, what were you _doing_?"

"Playing along. What'd it look like?"

"It looked like you were trying to get him to shoot me!"

He held his hand horizontally and waved it indecisively.

"You're not funny, and what about the _real_ Alicia?"

"Didn't you see the missing person ad on the telephone pole outside? You look _nothing_ like her, aside from the hair color, and there were security cameras all over that store. They'll figure out it wasn't you. That cop needs to pay more attention," he remarked, zipping the jacket part-way. I stared at him silently. "Think about it, Miyuki. You _know_ that was funny."

"You're sick!" I said.

"We both know you like it," he smirked.

"Whatever, 'foolish mortal'," I scoffed.

"So where do you wanna eat?"

"Let's just shoplift a grocery store. I mean, why stop at vests?" I gestured to him.

He snorted. "I think Pepto-Bismol Barbie has worse problems on her hands."

"Like the bullet hole in her wall?"

"Not _my_ fault the cop jumped to conclusions."

"But you egged him on!"

"He should've known he was being played. And where were his superiors? The _experienced_ guys with brains that function?"

_I can't argue with that logic…_ "You're still twisted."

"You're still amused by it," he smirked.

I stared out at the street, trying not to smile. "Kind of."

"Thoroughly."

I rolled my eyes. "Alright, thoroughly! What the hell was that creepy laugh? You sounded like the devil."

"That was the point," he said proudly.

"And 'I'm your savior'? _That_ sounded like—" I stopped myself. _I was not seriously about to say Xehanort, was I?_

Riku gave a quiet, half-hearted laugh, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, staring at the ground. "It was fun, weirding everyone out like that."

I nodded. _So even when he's _not_ possessing Riku, he's still intruding… Damn it… _"Yeah… I wouldn't turn pretending to be a stalker into a habit," I said, my eyes glued to the same spot on the sidewalk as his.

The door of the restaurant opened and a guy a little younger than me started to step out – Riku and I stepped away from each other quickly, making way for him. He peeked out at the storm and ran across the street, walking into the building there.

We now stared at one another awkwardly.

"Did you know that I can turn a conversation from pleasant to horrendously uncomfortable in point-three seconds?" I said quietly.

He smiled a little. "You're not the only one."

There was a pause. In the warm glow from the windows of the restaurant, I could see how he actually looked in the vest, and felt very proud that I'd picked it out for him. His hair was wet and dangling over his face, rain collecting at the frayed ends and dripping into his eyes.

_His eyes…_

I always felt really girly when I thought about them – embarrassingly so. They were so clear, so bright – I'd _never_ seen eyes that bright, or that shade of turqoise. I now felt my cheeks getting very warm, and felt a little stupid for it.

His smile turned into a smirk. "You're all red in the face."

"Maybe I have a skin condition," I retorted, crossing my arms and turning my head to look at the street.

"Maybe." He nodded, the smirk getting a little bigger.

I glared at him from the corners of my eyes. "What are _you_ leering at?" I huffed.

"I'm hardly 'leering'."

"You're looking like you've got some remark to make about your reputation or your abs or something."

"_I_ was not thinking _anything_ about my reputation _or_ my abs."

"Liar."

"Just because _you_ think about—"

"Oh, shut up!" I rolled my eyes.

He laughed softly, taking a step towards me. "While _you_ were mulling over my eight-pack—"

"Six-pack," I remarked.

"—twelve-pack… _I_ was mulling over how… exactly…" His fingers slid between my arms, pulling my left hand free, twining his hand around it, and I stared at the sidewalk intently. I was too embarrassed at my lack of composure (a.k.a. my beet-red face) to look at him just yet. "…And I just figure…" His voice was getting closer to my ear – I could feel the pulse in his wrist, against the heel of my hand. "…it's just stupid to stand there and think… when I actually _can_…"

I felt warm skin meet my cheek and my heart pounded in my ears. He pulled away a tiny bit, so slowly, his breath running down my neck. His free hand rested on my back, the slightest pressure leading me towards him. My right hand wavered, trying to find a place to hold onto him – it finally landed on his collarbone, and I was thankful that the rain would conceal the fact that my palm was sweating. I felt his chest rise as he inhaled, bringing his lips to mine. Breathless, trembling, I brought my right hand to his neck, sliding my left hand out of his to trace the veins on his arm.

"_How close you are… Oh, how extremely _close_ you are to giving in…"_

A chill ran up my spine at that icy voice echoing in my head. The memory of freezing, clinging vines… fingertips burning my skin open… I hooked my arms around Riku's torso and buried my face in his neck. I felt his arms enclose me – I felt warm again.

"_I'll have you soon, Miyuki."_

"Like hell you will," Riku's voice rumbled in my ear.

_Wait… I can hear what he's saying to Riku? What does that mean? Is Xehanort actually gaining more control of me the closer I get to Riku? No… That… doesn't make sense… Does it?_

I tightened my grip around him.

"_You're so close to giving in… I can almost taste your power…"_

"Say something," I whispered. _Anything. Just be louder than Xehanort._

"I know you can hear him. I want so badly to keep you safe… but I know I can't."

If I hadn't nested myself as close to him as possible already, I did now. "That's okay."

"No it isn't, not really."

"But you're here, so it's okay."

My emotional side was adamant this was the truth, but my logical side was insisting that it was a lie.

"_Edging ever closer to the brink of surrender. Oh, so close." _

**I hope you were amused by the bit in the store, 'cause I was gigglesnorting as I wrote it. XD Again, a billion thank you's for your feedback! It always makes my day brighter. ^^ (P.S. Yeah, this chapter was super fluffy. o_o' I'm trying to incorporate more fighting & violence but, it may be a few chapters away. :\ )**


	41. Chapter 41 Catharsis

His hand was warm and tight around mine as we walked home, thunder rumbling overhead as a warning that the second wind of the storm was about to kick up. He was walking so quickly I lagged behind a little – but whether this was because my steps were slowed, or his were quickened, I wasn't sure.

"You okay?" I asked, trying to keep up as he stomped through Tram Common.

"Just… rain."

"Right." I stared intently at him – he kept his head at such an angle that his hair fell forward and covered his face. _It keeps pressing on my mind… I know it has to be pressing on his._ "Riku, I—"

He stopped abruptly and I almost slammed into him. "Did you hear that?"

My eyes narrowed at him. "If this is some lame evasive maneuver—"

"Sh!" He dropped my hand to hold his finger to his lips. I strained my ears to hear anything other than the thunder, but to no avail. "…Shit." He took my hand again and we stood on the roof of the Item Shop – then on the Accessory Shop – then on the small bridge between rooves over the alleyway.

"What is it?"

"Demyx," he muttered, glancing around madly.

"Who?"

"The ninth member of the Organization."

"You know his _name_?"

He finally focused on me. "Axel is very keen on people memorizing what he tells them. Look, Demyx can smell me, and I can't have him knowing what's happened to me, and I need to use the dark corridor."

"You know, a good shower would get rid of that smell— Never mind, not the time. Go!"

"And leave you to the Organization?"

"Call me a sissy, but I'm not going in the dark corridor."

"Miyuki—" He gripped my arm and we stood on the roof of the Item Shop again. "—I'm not going to hurt you."

"No, you won't, but Xehanort will. He's stronger than either of us, in there – you'll get taken over."

"You know how to bring me back!" I stared at him a moment. He exhaled sharply and we stood on the bridge again. "We don't have time." He held one hand out to the side and a dark corridor flared up. It felt like a strong wind had kicked up, pushing me towards it – but Riku was unmoved, and neither of our clothes were swaying in a breeze. He laid a hand on each of my arms now, looking at me with a sort of determination I didn't recognize. "Our choices usually fall under two categories. The coward's choice, and the—"

"Honest man's choice," I finished, speaking quickly. I was beginning to feel like I should turn and walk into the corridor – into the darkness. "…You said you'd never talk about my dad again."

"You know I'm not trustworthy." He glanced to his left, away from the corridor. "I don't have time." He side-stepped towards the corridor, tugging me gently with him. "I can't leave you on your own with him."

_I'm more afraid of going into the dark corridor than facing Demyx._ "If I go in there, Riku…" _I don't think I'll come out._

"And if you stay?"

I only noticed that my feet were moving when I felt the cool sheet of darkness sweep through me – not over – _through_ me. The warm hands leading me forward turned cold, but I couldn't tell if it was by my temperature or his. My heart pounded in my ears as I focused on teal eyes. _As long as they stay that color_, I thought.

I stepped onto bright greens and purples and blues – but the swirls were now shaky, spazztic, snapping every which way. Riku dropped his hands from my shoulders, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, the other stretching out then clenching into a fist, over and over. He took a slow step towards the other end of the corridor, then paused. I was terrified of moving, terrified that taking one wrong step would send the entire corridor reeling.

"Push me out," he said sternly, staring at the floor.

"What?" I whispered.

"Push me out the corridor, Miyuki."

"I don't think I can."

"T—" He took a half-step towards me, his head hanging, his hair hiding his downturned face. "Try." He backed up two steps, now a good six feet away from me. I was so afraid of moving – so afraid – but it was Riku. I could take a leap of faith for him.

I took a step closer to him and the colors turned a shade darker.

"So close to darkness, yet your heart is resilient against it," came the deep voice from Riku's body. His head raised – it was Xehanort's face, Xehanort's eyes. "The ease with which you could adapt to darkness is appalling, Miyuki."

I took a step closer. _I know how to bring you back to the surface, Riku._

"On the contrary, sweet girl." One long stride and he was pressing his lips against mine, snaking an arm around my waist, one hand cupping my cheek. I reached up, grabbed his nose and twisted.

"_Bastard_!" I shouted, pushing him off.

The colors were on a rampage, now. Explosions of purple and green and blue were shuddering and writhing all around us.

"_Yes_!" he cried victoriously. "_Scream_! Unleash _all_ emotion you've held inside! Shatter the silence you surround yourself with!" He held his fists up in front of him enthusiastically. "Is it not cathartic? _Breathe_ it, Miyuki, _inhale_ the essence around you."

Tears were streaming down my face. "I _hate_ you!" But he was right – it was cathartic to scream.

"Don't you see the forces around you, shuddering beneath your power? Don't you see them, bending to your will?" He held a hand against my cheek. "Don't you see how—"

I gripped his wrist and yanked him towards me, slamming the heel of my hand into his nose. He started to wrap an arm around my waist – I gripped it with my free hand and pushed it back, slamming my knee into his gut. He stumbled backwards and I let him go, pivoting on the heel of my right foot and slamming my left foot into his chest.

"_Aero_!" I spat, my body aching, barely able to breathe. He was slammed back through the open door by the spell that had apparently worked – and I was flung backwards, as well. Darkness slipped through me again, and my butt rammed against the concrete bridge. My head swam for a moment – I blinked hard against the rain pouring down on me.

"Well, well! Looks like you exist, after all," said a familiar voice from behind me.

I sighed. _Demyx. I don't want to mess with you…_ "This is all a dream," I said, too lazy to really put effort into the lie.

"I hardly think so."

"You do, too," I said unenthusiastically. "Think back. How did you get here?"

"I don't answer to some punk off the streets, alright?"

"Shut up and go away." I stood up and sized up the edge of the bridge. _It's… not _too _high to jump off…_ A slick hand wrapped around my forearm.

"I'd love to get into a verbal sparring match with you, I just don't have the time. Everyone back home thinks I'm crazy 'cause I keep talking about you, this girl who knew the impostor, this girl who nearly got me killed—"

"Killed?" I looked up at him now. "What, you can't handle some lame impostor? I thought everyone in the Organization was cocky."

"Ah, so you _do_ know more than the average citizen." He smiled. "So just come with me and—"

"Screw you!" I stepped off the ledge of the bridge and landed in the alley relatively easily. I was still aching and breathing was a little tough, but other than that, I was fine.

"Ohoho, no." Demyx reassembled in front of me. "I'm not leaving without you."

"You're right. _I'm_ leaving without _you_." I turned and started towards the mansion, then stopped. Leading him there was about the worst thing I could ever do. I started towards the inn.

"Wanna lollygag? Alright, we'll lollygag. What's your name, sugar?" He walked beside me, laying his elbow on my shoulder casually.

"Go _away_!" I shouted, grabbing his arm and shoving him off. "God, I just want to get _out_ of—" Involuntarily, as if it had a mind of its own, my arm flung out to the side, holding up my left hand, and a dark corridor opened. Once more, I was walking into it before I knew it, and Demyx's distant, bewildered cries faded away with the sweeping darkness.

The colors were still spazztic, unsteady – but no longer exploding. I found myself walking through the corridor with ease, in silence – fearlessly. The other door opened up to Riku's room, where he was sprawled out on his bed on his stomach. His head was turned so that I could see his face, but it was covered by his hair. I stepped forward and brushed it out of the way, not hesitating or wondering what I would find. And there he was, pale and young and eyes closed.

"What did I do?" I whispered, and his hand caught mine before my fingers left his cheek. His eyes opened, aquamarine, piercing.

"What _did_ you do?" he whispered.

"I beat Xehanort."

"_How_?"

"He… It was like he was weak all of a sudden. And I used magic – I couldn't use magic the last time I was in the dark corridor."

"I know, I was there for all of it – I just – I don't understand."

"Maybe DiZ will."

"…Maybe." He pulled himself to an upright position, laying his legs over the side of the bed, hanging onto my hand with both of his, studying it intently.

"I opened a dark corridor."

His eyes snapped to mine. "When?"

"I knocked you – er, him – out of the corridor, and I was knocked out of it, too, back into Tram Common. Then Demyx was there, bugging me, and I just opened up a dark corridor without thinking, and walked through it…Which means that I must be…"

"Relax," Riku said quietly.

"If I can open the corridor – if I can boss _you_ around—"

"Miyuki, stop."

I tried to tug my hand from his, but he tightened his grip. "He's got ahold of me. He's winning."

"That doesn't mean he's won."

"It means he's pretty damn close. Why aren't you horrified?"

"I'm trying to stay calm so that we can look at this sensibly."

I swallowed and he stood up, one hand trailing up my arm and resting on my shoulder, the other wavering at his side. "I'm supposed to be your light," I mumbled.

"No one can be someone else's light."

"That wasn't true when you first accepted darkness."

"But look where we are _now_."

"So what am I going to do?" I swallowed. "Using darkness was a reaction. I couldn't do anything about it." He stared at me a long moment, opening his mouth to speak and shutting it a moment later. "…Did this happen to you?"

He sat back down, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands. "Yeah."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing. Why do you think I'm here?"

There was an awkward silence. I crossed my arms and stepped a little towards his door. "I… um… I'm kind of…" _I'm going to have a meltdown if the mood doesn't lighten soon._ "When's the last time we trained?" I asked, my voice uncharacteristically cheery.

He looked up at me skeptically. "Ah… A while ago. Why—?"

I cleared my throat. _The honest man confronts his problems._ "I want to learn to control it."

He stared at me blankly. "You can't."

"_You_ do. If you can, I can!"

He held up his right hand, the tip of his index finger hovering over his thumb. "This close. I am _this close_ to drowning in darkness. If you can push away darkness at _all_, that's what you've gotta do."

"Why? So I can prolong the nervousness? The terror? No. If I'm being overtaken anyway…" I took a deep breath. "…I want to learn how to use it to my advantage. So will you teach me?"

We stared at each other for a long moment, and judging from the stern expression on his face, I thought he was going to say no.

"Tomorrow," he said stiffly. "The storm will have passed through and we can train out back again."

I nodded. "Good." We were frozen in place, and he didn't look at all content with our deal. "Your face is gonna freeze that way," I remarked.

"I _knew_ this would happen," he muttered, shaking his head and looking down. His right hand clenched into a fist, his left hand wrapping over it. "I _knew_ it."

"What, you're psychic?" I arched an eyebrow at him.

"You know how I knew," he said rigidly. "Your heart is being consumed by darkness as we speak, I can feel it raditating from you! You should've gone home." He stood up, crossing his arms, walking to the side of the room. He stood at the end of his bed, in front of the dresser, examining the hole he'd punched in the wall, turning his back to me. "You shouldn't have been dragged into this."

"Well, I have been, and you can't change that."

I saw the muscles in his arm tense. "…I am _so fucking mad_ at myself."

"_As are we all,"_ that chilling voice chimed in.

"I'm not mad," I said quietly.

"_Ha! You murdered her family. It's common sense that she should hate you."_

Riku slammed his right fist against the wall, then stepped back and cradled it. "Ow! _Damn_ it!"

"_Children. You are both children."_

I walked over and laid a hand on Riku's back. "Well _that_ was real smart," I muttered, reaching across him to take his right wrist in my left hand. It was bright red and apparently he'd cut himself on the inside of the wall he'd busted. "Aw, geez."

"I'm fine. Let go."

"No, Batman, I think Robin needs to help you out a little, here. _Cure_." I felt warmath spread across his skin, the blood dripping away from the incision, the skin fastening to itself again.

"_Oh, how _cute_. How _sweet_. The girl you robbed is patching up your hand."_

"Ignore him."

"I can't do that unless you keep speaking," he hissed, wrapping his right hand around my left, sliding his left arm around my waist.

"Um… I don't know what to say, now."

"That figures," he snorted, leaning his face towards my neck. I felt my face go red. "Just… say anything."

I swallowed. "P-Proximity."

He laughed softly, his breath hitting my neck, my heart pounding in my ears. "A little more than that, if you don't mind."

"I think the vest looks really good on you."

"Yeah?" I felt his nose press against my neck, his hair falling into my face. Both of his arms twined around my waist, and I hooked my arms around his chest.

"_Ah, yes. Blocking out the truth is always easier when you've got a piece of meat with which to distract yourself."_

Riku sighed, warm breath spilling down my collarbone. "You know you're not just a piece of meat to me, right?"

I swallowed. "That's the word on the street."

"Well now you've heard it from the source."

"Yes, I have."

He paused a brief moment, his voice breathy when he spoke. "I'm so sorry this is happening to you, Miyuki."

I snorted. "Really? I'm not." He pulled back – I was disappointed – and stared at me confusedly. "Maybe I'm going to be tortured by Xehanort for the rest of my life – but look where I am. I think being held by Batman makes it worth it."

"You can't think so…"

"More like I can't _not_ think so, considering I haven't ditched."

"…Well why haven't you?"

"Because you're my best friend."

"_Every friend you have has been corrupted by your idiocy."_

"If your idiocy hasn't driven us away, imagine what your brilliance could do!" I said enthusiastically.

"Oh, I've got brilliance," he mumbled sarcastically.

* * *

**My computer had crashed and I had to wait a while to get a new laptop before I could write again! But here I am, back in the fanfiction saddle! XD Thank you so much for sticking with this story through it's dry spells!**


	42. Chapter 42 Kill or Be Killed Element

**Ergh, just so you know, I know Aero actually casts a shield around you. I forgot to add the "ga" at the end to make a little ball of air poofing at him to make sense… Anyway, sorry! X|**

"_Hey, kid!" I'm enclosed in Dad's arms, seven years old, my face buried in his chest, tears streaming down my face. "What's the matter?" He pulls away, smiling at me, brushing my tears away with his thumb._

"_I'm so scared."_

"_No you aren't. You're never scared of anything!" He laughs a little. "You're always the tough one, the ringleader."_

"_The cellar's too dark!"_

"_Is it?" He looks down the black stairs. "I don't see anything… C'mon, we'll go together." He grabs both of my shoulders and backs down the steps, gently tugging me with him. Hazel eyes, kind and warm, turn yellow. They turn as frigid as the hands leading me towards into the black. My feet trip over something I can't see, and I tumble headlong down the staircase. I'm falling for what feels like hours, and only stop when I hear the familiar voice thaw my frozen ears._

"_You are…" Riku's voice fades into an icy tone that sends chills up my spine. "…finally mine."_

_A hand grabs my wrist, tugging me to my feet – had I been lying down? _

"_Power you've never dreamt of," he hisses in my ear. "You can save anyone." I see the dark brown eyes of my mother dancing in front of me – I lurch forward, all gracefulness gone, swinging my hands out to reach her, find her in the darkness. I feel nothing. "…Anyone, except the dead. None can escape darkness, Miyuki. Not a single person."_

_My mouth works for the first time since being led into the darkness. "The keyblade master seemed to handle it pretty well."_

_A hand grips my throat and I can't breathe. For an eternity, my lungs don't move – but I don't pass out, or die. For an eternity, I'm weak. Hopeless. Regretting the waste that was my life. Why'd I put myself in harm's way? Why didn't I stay in Traverse Town? For an eternity, my light is lost. Why didn't I leave Riku and go home?_

_Riku…_

_Where are you?_

_This is darkness. This is your domain. _

_No…_

_This is _my_ domain._

_A voice growls in my ear. "You think you have control over me? You're _wrong_."_

"_I don't control you." My hands find his neck, and I can clearly see the glinting golden eyes burning into me, now. My fingers dig beneath his skin, twining around the freezing vines – but they don't burn. They're actually refreshing. "I control darkness." I clench my hands into fists and pull back, ripping vines from his neck. They wrap around my arms, but in such a way that every joint is free, and I'm able to move perfectly well. Xehanort's eyes are staring at me, wide and bewildered. _

"_You accept it at last!" he says, awestricken._

"_I'm not accepting anything!" I snap. "I'm adapting to the changes around me!"_

"_And inside you."_

"_Well… Yes."_

"_Welcome to darkness, Miyuki."_

_I shudder – the vines are beginning to burn – they wind up my arms, up my neck, gripping me, controlling me. Panicking, I start clawing at them, trying to pry them off myself – but to no avail. They're searing into me now, burning my skin, permanently scarring me. I scream – they leap off of me and I hear agonized cries coming from Xehanort. An unstable sphere materializes in my hand – I can't see it, but I feel the weight of it in my palm, and somehow, I know exactly where it and Xehanort are._

"_Stop torturing Riku." I split the darkness so that I have equal amounts in each hand, planting my feet solidly on the ground. I'm still burning, aching, stinging all over – but he was sharing the pain now._

"_Why do you hate me?" his voice cracked._

"_I'm out of sympathy, Xehanort!" A vine crept back onto my leg._

_He stopped concealing the ice in his voice. "Cursed child!"_

"_I_ know_!"_

"_How dare you try to usurp my position over my elements!"_

"One_ element, and it isn't _yours_."_

_The vine started to burn again – I ripped it off and threw it aside. "Stop torturing Riku, or I will _persecute_ you."_

"_Do your worst, little girl!"_

"Well," Riku said casually as we stood in the middle of the muddy back yard, "you gonna take a swing, or just stand there?"

The dream had been pressing on my mind all morning, and I stared at him a minute. "Did you happen to see what I dreamt last night?"

"Yes, I did."

"And?"

"And what?"

I crossed my arms. "Well what's your opinion on it? I know you have one."

"My opinion?" I nodded. "It was an… adequate introduction to darkness."

"Nothing else?"

"Nope."

"You're not going to question my ability to torture Xehanort?"

"Why, are _you_?" I shrugged. He smirked. "I'm the one possessed by the heartless. You're just being overcome with darkness. If you learn how to wield it, you'll be able to beat the shit out of most other dark beings."

"You seem much more open to me using darkness than you were last night," I said, eyebrows furrowing. "What changed?"

"My attitude, apparently."

"But _why_?"

"If you don't strike me first—"

I pivoted on the left heel of my foot and swung my right foot towards his side. He raised his arm, twisting it around my leg, trying to twist my leg so that I fell over. I gripped the front of his t-shirt with my left hand and yanked him forward, swinging my right fist into the side of his face. He jerked my leg to my left and slammed his open palm on the side of my head, shoving it in the opposite direction.

Leg throbbing, stumbling to find my balance, I stabbed him at the base of his throat with my index and middle fingers. He released my leg and I practically leapt at him, gripping his shoulders with both hands and smashing my knee into his gut. He slammed his forearms against mine, breaking my grip on him. He pivoted on his foot and before I could move, he'd slammed his foot against my chest, shoving me backwards.

For a brief moment we just stood there staring at each other, his expression stoic, my chest throbbing.

"No heart," he said.

"What?" I panted, still trying to catch my breath.

"You're just going through the motions. You've gotta tap into some emotion if you want to use darkness."

_How can I _not_ be tapping into emotion? That dream is repeating itself in my head every five seconds!_ "Okay…"

He exhaled sharply. "Alright. Come at me again."

I stepped forward and grabbed his shirt collar with my left hand, swinging my right fist at his face – he pushed my right arm away and crushed his left fist into my ribs. I snaked my hand up to the back of his neck, twisting my fingers in his hair and pulling as hard as I could. He hooked his leg around mine and jerked it out from under me – I tumbled to the ground, pinned beneath him.

Due to the storm, I expected the earth to be slick and muddy. But when I hit it, I realized that it was perfectly dry, and extremely chilly. I turned my head to look at the ground and saw nothing but black – apparently, Riku'd lined the ground with darkness.

His left elbow dug into my throat, pressure increasing, ability to breathe decreasing. His knees were holding mine down, his right hand was pinning down my left arm, and my left hand was losing circulation beneath me.

"You can't breathe. You can't move," he said quickly, quietly.

I twitched my right foot, trying to wrap it over his leg – he pressed his shin against mine even harder.

"Use darkness, Miyuki."

_It was so easy, so natural before. But now, nothing. Why won't it do what I want? _

"It's a kill or be killed element. C'mon." There was a long pause. He took his elbow from my throat, resting his hand on the ground by my head. "You don't want it."

"What?" I scoffed.

"You don't want to use darkness."

"Yeah, that's why I demanded you train me today," I snapped sarcastically.

"Be a smartass all you want –" He pointed at me with his left index finger. "– but you're not using darkness, even when you're left with no other options. That says something."

"It says I don't want to hurt you."

"It says you don't want to use darkness."

"I wasn't afraid of using it when I got myself out of Twilight Town. Or when I tortured Xehanort last night."

"You said it yourself – reflexes."

"I don't want to snap and start using those reflexes on someone I don't want to hurt! I have to learn to control it!"

He shifted over me, resting one knee on the ground and sitting up on his own. "Darkness is used to hurt, not protect."

I sat up. "I know."

"You're using it to shield people from yourself. It's like you're trying to use a knife when you really want a spoon – you're just gonna cut yourself."

"And have a hard time with soup."

"But you see what I mean?"

"Yes, I do. You're going to have to train me harder."

He sighed. "I can't teach you if you don't have the capacity to learn." I glared at him. "Your heart is starting to give in, but your head is still against it!"

"No, it's not! I need to learn to keep you safe!"

He blinked at me a few times. _…Did I just say that?_ "You can't."

"I _can_ learn!"

"I meant you can't keep me safe," he said.

"...I know I can't."

"So why did you—"

"I don't know!" I said, crossing my arms and staring at the black ground. "I don't know. It's just… It has to do _something_ good. Keeping him out of your head would be _so_…"

"Miraculous." I looked back up at him – he looked about as depressed as I felt. "It's not gonna happen, Miyuki. He's always going to be there, because I let him in. No one else can get him out."

"But being able to silence him…"

"I've been in darkness for years. Don't you think, of all people, I'd be able to shut him up even a _little_?"

I pointed to myself. "Maybe the other half of your strength should try it."

"Maybe she shouldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because—" He stopped himself, rubbing the back of his neck and looking down.

"Well?"

"Because you're afraid of something, and it's keeping you from consciously opening up to darkness. It's probably darkness itself you're afraid of – and rightly so."

I stare at him for a long moment, the gears in my head reeling. _That's not right. Darkness is intimidating at first, but I can take it on. So what's scaring me out of using it? What's keeping me from manipulating it like any other spell? Xehanort? No… I just want to _hit_ him… Is it dying? Am I afraid of dying?_

"We should get to the virtual town," he said.

"Alright," I mumbled.

He stood up and headed for the door to the mansion, me following close behind, mind still running at a dizzying pace.

_I don't want to die… I don't want to leave him. But I'd rather die than be the cause of _his _death. Is that what I'm afraid of? Hurting him? So am I subconsciously trying to keep darkness away so that I won't use it against him? Is that even possible? I thought darkness was completely covering my heart. Wouldn't that overrule my subconscious? Or maybe… Maybe it isn't eating away at my heart as much as we thought? We still need to ask DiZ about it…_

I stepped into the computer room directly behind Riku.

"You're late," DiZ said. "He's almost awake."

"Sorry," Riku replied unemotionally. "I won't cut it so close next time." He stepped onto the pad and vanished.

"I need to know if darkness is taking over my heart," I said quietly.

"In all probability, it is," he replied matter-of-factly.

"You assume it is, because of my relationship with Riku. But I thought scientists never assumed anything?"

"I was not assuming, I was stating an observation of the probable. You know what to do," he said, not bothering to look at me.

I walked over to the closet and started dragging the odd flashing machine out for the first time in a long time. _I love how nonchalant it is to analyze someone's heart to him. This would freak Cid out. I can hear him now. "A machine that _what_? No way are you hooking me up to that thing, pokin' around inside my heart! Friggin' nutjobs!"_

"Of course, even with Riku's presence in the virtual town, my attention will occasionally be diverted from your study," DiZ said, finally turning towards me and the odd machine. "Would you like to fetch a chair, or—?"

"Floor's fine," I shrugged, sitting down at his side and crossing my legs indian-style. I held my wrist and the small wire up towards him, and he fastened it to me in the usual style – taping it along the inside of my wrist. "How's it pick up anything, done up like this?" I asked.

"The—" He stopped himself, staring at my hand a long moment. "How squeamish are you and how profound is the power of suggestion?" He focused back on my eyes.

My eyebrows popped up at him. "I'm guessing I don't want to know the details, then?"

"Perhaps that's best," he nodded quickly, reaching across the computer desk to grab a notepad and pencil. "Alright…" He glanced from the machine, to the notepad, to me, and repeated this cycle over, scribbling furiously before I even spoke. "…What's compelled you to request the analysis?"

"Xehanort." DiZ tensed, freezing in his chair. I wondered briefly if he was breathing when I realized I should clarify. "Well, it started with the incident in the dark corridor."

"You can't be serious?" DiZ scoffed. "You don't mean when Riku had to carry you—?"

"No! I mean when Naminé nearly told Roxas what was happening and Riku and I had to go stop her. I went to take Roxas through the dark corridor and I didn't get out soon enough but he did, so I was stuck there alone." DiZ's expression had gone back to his business-like demeanor, scribbling even more furiously, eyes darting from object to object intently. "Riku came in, only he was overthrown by Xehanort since we were both in darkness. Xehanort messed with me for a while, saying that I'd be his soon, I'd succumb to darkness… It took a few for Riku to get control again."

"Is that all that's bothered you?"

"No. Yesterday morning, Riku and I were at the beach, and Xehanort took control again. I was gonna get pumbled – maybe murdered – but I kissed Riku and he gained control again."

"How contrary to most romantic situations."

"Yeah, well, Xehanort's existence definitely dampened the mood. Then I could hear his _voice_ in my head. Like he was standing right there, hissing in my ear."

"Interesting."

"Disturbing. Then we sort of…" _Telling him about Demyx may be a bad idea._ "…we were sort of annoyed by the surroundings in town and he wanted to leave soon but I didn't want to hop into the dark corridor. Then I found myself walking into it. And Riku turned into Xehanort again, but I was able to push him out the dark corridor before he really did anything. Then I realized I'd walked back into town and was getting super annoyed and opened a dark corridor."

DiZ's head, which had been bent over his lap and the notebook, now snapped up to gawk at me.

"You opened a dark corridor?"

I held up my taped wrist. "Thus the analysis."

"No doubt," he mumbled, zoning out on my hand. He snapped out of it and cleared his throat, putting the notebook & pencil back on the desk, quickly undoing my hand. "I must manipulate Roxas' surroundings, and Riku will need assistance with the obscene amount of Dusks collecting in the virtual town. Go. We will see how far my evaluations have come when you return."

"R-Right," I stammered, stumbling around the machine, trying to hurry to the pad in the corner to be transported to the virtual town. His sudden awkwardness was making me edgy, and when I found myself standing in the middle of the Station Plaza, clocked upside the head by what felt like a crowbar, I was too surprised to react immediately.

I stumbled to my left a little, rubbed the side of my head, and jumped back as a Dusk swooped down in front of me.

"Took you long enough!" Riku hollered from across the plaza, fighting several Dusks.

"I was trying to figure out—" The Dusk that'd swooped past me whipped around and lunged at me. I gripped its throat. "Fire! Damn pest!" Its head burst into flames and it darted around the plaza madly. "—trying to figure out what's goin' on with me!" I ran up to the Dusk at the edge of the crowd around Riku. _Blizzara._ I gripped its neck with both hands and snapped it in half, and it disintegrated entirely. One of the others noticed and snapped a wiry hand at me and I jumped to the right, holding my hand out towards it. _Thundaga._ A bolt of lightning reached out from my palm – just at the moment I cast this spell, an extremely large bat's wing chopped the Dusk in half and Riku stepped into its place, smirking.

"Well, Robin—"

Lightning struck him in the chest and he fell backwards onto his bum. My jaw dropped and for a good long minute, he just sat there, winded, no longer smirking, and I just stood there, awestruck at his terrible timing.

"Holy fail, Batman. _That_ was smooth."


	43. Chapter 43 Cheers!

"Oops," I said, holding a hand out to him. He took it, panting, and pulled himself up.

"I guess you still don't want me calling you Robin, huh?"

"That I don't mind. It's when you try to take care of my target for me that gets under my skin – and gets you blown away. I didn't mean to zap you," I said, unable to hold back the amused smile at his malfunction.

"I'm fine," he shrugged, picking up the bat-wing that'd sliced through the Dusk. It was a sword – a turqoise cat-eye gem rested in the hilt, and it made me wish he hadn't put the blindfold on.

"Where'd that come from?" I asked.

"This? Nowhere." It disintegrated and he changed the subject quickly. "So what took you?"

"I asked DiZ to, er, analyze my heart again."

"And?"

"He was pretty… unsettled at hearing that I opened a dark corridor. Then he was all cryptic and sent me away. –Hey, I thought we were s'posed to be stalking Roxas?"

"Nah, DiZ is taking care of most things. I just had to grab this—" He pulled a little marble out of his pocket and held it up towards me. "—before Roxas woke up. DiZ is taking care of him today, we just gotta take care of the Dusks. Speaking of which…" He pointed over my shoulder at a flaming dusk doing barrel-rolls, hurling towards us.

"Oh. Forgot about him. Blizzard." I pointed at it and a thin icicle shot at it, piercing through its head, and the entire thing disappeared. I looked back at Riku and he smiled half-heartedly. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing… I'm just kinda…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know. We'd better head over to the Old Mansion, that's where all the action's gonna be."

He started down the alleyway and I followed, a step or two behind his hurried pace.

"So what's DiZ planning to do with Roxas?" I asked.

"He's going to have a virtual Naminé explain things to him."

"Which things?"

"Just enough to pry open more of his memory. Apparently Axel got inside the town yesterday. DiZ was able to fend him off – I think he actually enjoyed being out of the mansion – but the Dusks have increased…" He slowed to a stop, gesturing to the edge of Tram Common, where three Dusks hadn't noticed us yet. "…obviously."

"Is…" _I wonder if Roxas is going to go through a lot this way. Would it be better to just snap him into reality…? I don't know._ "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." He turned his head towards me, but the blindfold made it so I couldn't really see his line of sight. "Why?"

"I don't know. I just feel like something's… off."

He swallowed. "…Let's just take out these Dusks."

He stepped forward, the sword reappeared in his hand and he crushed it onto one of the Dusk's heads. It was surprisingly resilient, taking the blow in stride and zipping to the left. Two of the three began zipping around Riku, and the third had now locked its focus on me.

It swam through the air in a zig-zag pattern at me, and I reached out towards it, gripped its head and smashed it against the wall. "Fire." Flames consumed it, turning it to smoke in an instant. I looked over at Riku and saw him standing there, panting.

"Are you _tired_?" I said, smirking.

"No," he snapped, storming across Tram Common. I followed him, eyebrows knitting, wondering if he actually _was_ tired.

"I didn't know you were so susceptible to thunder spells," I said, jogging to keep up with his stride.

"I'm not," he growled.

"You have to be. Why else would you be tired?" I nudged him with my elbow. "Unless. You know. You're getting _rusty_."

"Drop it, will you?" He turned his head towards me and I really wanted to look him in the eye again.

"Sorry," I said.

He shook his head. "That analysis better have depth," he muttered.

Only a few more dusks attacked as we stormed across Tram Common, and they attacked one at a time, so all I had to do was step out of the way as Riku tore them in half. We finally reached the yard just outside the Old Mansion's gates, where all the adolescents were gathered around, frozen in violent poses.

"I take it DiZ's got things here under control?" I asked.

"Theoretcially. We're here to keep the Dusks away," he said shortly.

"So they won't be up there in the Mansion with Naminé and Roxas?"

"The gate's protected – no one can get in or out unless DiZ programs them there."

I turned to him, hanging my thumbs on my pockets. "Seriously, Riku. What's wrong?"

He took a deep breath. "Covering the ground in darkness in the back yard pretty much… took it out of me."

"And?"

He turned his head towards me, gritting his teeth. "Imagine what it'd be like if you cast Blizzara and you got tired."

I swallowed. "What are you…?"

"I'm just crossing my fingers that it's not starting to wear me out."

I stared at the blindfold a long moment. _…Xehanort… if you're fucking with him…_ Yellow eyes, burning vines, being pulled into darkness – I was trying to suppress the memories when I was struck with a horrified feeling. _I want to see your eyes._ I reached up towards his face, sliding my thumb beneath the edge of the black fabric, flipping it up slowly. Bright turqoise squinted at me.

"It's a lot brighter without that thing," he remarked.

I snorted. "I'd never have guessed."

He smiled a little – it didn't look half-hearted this time. "Any particular reason you felt the need to fry my retina?"

"Oh. Sorry—" I started to pull my hand away and he caught my elbow, holding my arm in place.

"That wasn't a complaint, just an inquiry."

I smiled. "I like focusing on it."

"Who knew Robin had x-ray vision?"

"Tch, I did," I scoffed. The awkward position of just standing there, holding up his blindfold seemed to have trapped me. Now I did not know what would be worse – saying "okay" and letting it drop, or holding it up and carrying on conversation. _I'm so stupid. Why did I—_

"You wanna go get clothes sometime?"

I stared at him blankly. "What… even…?"

"I just meant, you wear the same thing every day, and here I got a vest…"

"You wear the same thing, too," I scoffed.

"Yeah, but not the exact same article of clothing."

I blinked at him. "You're suddenly very interested in my clothes."

"Just the getting you out of them part." My eyebrows popped up, my face turning bright red. "I'm joking…" He smiled. "…Sort of. I just thought you'd like having new digs sometime."

"I'm not itching for new clothes. I'm fine." I shrugged.

"I thought women were taught to never supposed to turn down clothes."

"Women were also taught to never do a cartwheel in a skirt, but I defied that one a long time ago too."

"You wore a skirt?"

"It was a wedding! A big formal shindig with flowers and crap."

He snorted. "A shindig with crap? Sounds very fancy." He shut his eyes and cringed. "…Damn it…" He refocused on me, his amused expression turning to exhaustion. "So this big fancy shindig, you wore a dress?"

_Let me guess. Xehanort's being extra obnoxious._ "Yeah. It was like lime green and had black stars all over it… Mom knew what I liked." I smiled. "As I recall, I begged her to give me Princess Leia buns for my hair."

"What'd she say?"

I laughed. "As I recall, she—"

"—_piece of me_?"

I jumped back from Riku, staring at the now-screaming teenager and the unconscious Roxas on the ground. I realized that the virtual teens wouldn't pay attention to us and sighed heavily in relief. Riku gripped my forearm, took a deep breath and suddenly we were at the hole in the wall on the other side of the woods.

"What was that all about?" I asked. "It's not like the townies are gonna—"

"Roxas was about to wake up," he panted, bending over, hands on his knees, hood falling onto his head. "I'm so tired…"

"We could've just walked out!" I said, laying a hand on his shoulder. He didn't seem to be breathing any easier. "…Riku?"

"Oh, god," he huffed.

"C'mere, sit down—" I started to tug him towards the wall, but he shook his head.

"No, I might not stand up again," he snorted. "No, I just… need to… get home. Damn it DiZ… Stop playing Sims and get us out of here!" He stood upright, taking a deep breath, his face shrouded in the shade of the hood. "Okay… I think—"

All at once, he immaterialzed in a flash of green numbers and a tizzy of whirring. I stood there a long moment, hoping that he was okay, hoping that I hadn't just witnessed a computer malfunction. I heard voices coming from the other end of the woods, knowing that soon the townies and Roxas would be passing through. I started scanning trees for low branches I could shimmy onto and hoist myself into a hiding spot, but no such luck. I ran into the Tram Common, hearing footsteps running towards me, someone shouting at Hayner to slow down. I ran towards the Sandlot, tripped on the stair leading down to it and was about to do a lip-skid when I tumbled onto the floor of the computer room.

"Ow…" I muttered, pushing myself up and onto my feet.

"Now… for the finishing touches," DiZ mumbled, looking back at Riku, who stood near the stairs, flicking the marble into the air and catching it again. "First, we must dispose of Naminé."

"What?" I whispered. DiZ must not have heard me, because only Riku turned his head to look at me.

He gestured for me to follow him and we trudged up the steps.

"Are you going to _off_ Naminé?" I asked, unable to keep the shock out of my voice as the library door shut behind us.

He crossed his arms silently, his head hanging. "…She's a Nobody. She'll just return to Kairi."

I swallowed. _I don't know. It feels… wrong._

"C'mon." He took my arm and we now stood in Naminé's room – the sunlight usually lit it up so brightly that you were almost blinded by the whiteness, but the overcast skies were keeping it at a dismal grey color.

"Is Sora ready yet?" Riku asked. I stepped to the side, holding my left arm with my right hand nervously.

"Yes," Naminé replied, smiling faintly at him. "You'll be able to see him soon."

There was a pause. I seemed to be mute, dumbstruck by the weight of upcoming events.

"What are you drawing?" he asked.

"Roxas… and his friends of that world," she said. She turned and gazed out the window, a sort of dreamy expression on her face. "If only he could live in that world forever…"

I stared out the window as well as another pause loomed between us – or them, rather – I hadn't exactly inserted myself into the conversation.

"I already know you came here to erase me," she said, tensing her shoulders, staring at her lap. "That's what DiZ said. Once my job is complete, I'm no longer needed." She turned and cast a glance at me before staring at Riku imploringly. "But please. Let me see Roxas just one more time. There's something I need to tell him."

There was a long pause – all eyes were on Riku.

"We can do that," he said.

"Thank you," she said, smiling faintly once more.

He turned and walked into the hallway and I followed after him like a mindless puppy.

"Riku?" I said just before he stepped into his room.

He looked towards me. I smiled and stepped towards him, pushing his hood back, then tilting up the blindfold. I realized that he looked tired, and I had no idea what to say.

"You're a pretty decent guy, Batman," I said softly.

He smiled a little. "I'll catch up with you a little later, alright?" he said just as quietly.

I nodded, dropping the blindfold back down. He walked into his room and I wandered around, uncertain of what to do until DiZ appeared at the library door in the foyer, demanding my presence in the computer room. He'd dragged the chair in the library down there, so I wasn't surprised when I saw the weird machine ready to analyze me when I stepped into the computer room.

He hooked my right arm back up to it. "I need much, much more data to confirm my suspicions," he said.

"What suspicions?"

He ignored my inquiry. "Explain everything that happened today, in detail."

My eyebrows knit with concern. "I woke up… I ate breakfast with you three… You know, bacon and eggs are nice, but you should really consider poptarts sometime."

"I don't need a commentary, I need facts."

"The fact that you need to consider poptarts _is_, in fact, a fact."

He glared at me.

"Sorry. I'll cooperate now."

After a long hour and a half of sitting there, defining every moment in verbal high-definition for DiZ, he demanded I describe the day before in as much detail as I could, as well. Another hour passed, when he finally undid the cord from my wrist and I sat back, resting my hands behind my head.

"So what's the verdict?" I asked.

"I'm not entirely certain."

"How about a loose estimate?"

He studied the machine a moment before looking back at his notes. "…I'm… not entirely certain."

I sighed. "Well, I'm hungry, so—"

"Fetch Riku, won't you?" He turned to his computer and started typing furiously.

"You're not going to have him go back to the virtual town?" I said incredulously. "He's wiped out, you know that, right?"

"I am not going to send him to the virtual town," was the absent-minded reply.

"Oh." I paused. "Alright, I'll get him."

DiZ was now muttering to himself, completely ignoring me. It was a little disturbing, and I hurried out of the computer room, power-walking up to Riku's room.

_I'd thought maybe my heart was just fluctuating between light and darkness again. After all, it'd explain why I was able and unable to control darkness at random times. But DiZ's reaction would've been "Oh, this again" if that was the case. And he didn't seem to feel familiar with whatever he found…_

I knocked on Riku's door. "Hey, DiZ wants you."

"Alright," wafted his voice faintly through the door.

"…Are you okay?" I asked.

"Alright," he repeated.

I stared blankly at the door until it opened and Riku stood there, shirtless, hair mushed over his face unnaturally, scratching his stomach and yawning. My eyebrows popped up.

"Charming," I remarked.

"Huh?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Had a nap, I take it?"

"Mm." He nodded, walking with me down the hall, tying the blindfold around his head. "What's DiZ want?"

"I dunno. He studied more of my heart, wouldn't give me any details of his new theory, then told me to get you."

"Hunh."

When we got to the computer room, DiZ was standing up in front of the two chairs, gesturing for us to sit in them. "Have a seat."

My eyebrows knit at him as Riku and I sat next to one another. I leaned towards Riku. "Why do I feel like we're at the principal's office?" I muttered.

"I thought you were homeschooled," he mumbled back.

"All the more reason I feel uncomfortable."

DiZ reached past Riku and grabbed a wine glass and an open bottle. He filled the glass halfway and handed it to Riku, then poured me a glass.

"You are sixteen, correct?" he asked, handing it to me.

"Yeah."

"Old enough to drink in my world." He poured a third glass for himself, set the bottle on the desk, and breathed the scent of the wine deeply. He held his glass towards us slightly. "To the Wielder of the Keyblade."

I raised my glass awkwardly – _What is this, a funeral?_ – this was probably the first toast I'd ever experienced, barring the root beer float incident with my Dad. We'd just finished dinner and he pulled out these giant mugs, filled them with vanilla ice cream, poured some root beer over them, and after showing me how to clink glasses and say cheers, I accidentally spilt it all over the kitchen table.

_I miss him so much…_

I took a sip of wine and raised my eyebrows at the contents of my glass. I expected it to be an intense alcohol flavor and nothing more – don't ask why, I just did – but there was a sweet raspberry flavor. It wasn't bad.

DiZ started pacing in front of us, now. "I'm not entirely sure how to address this… I've thought about it all day, and yet…" His eyes were running across the floor in front of him, taking a sip of wine between each sentence. "I studied your heart, Miyuki, expecting to find the ebb and flow of darkness that I'd seen before. After hearing about your power over the dark corridor, I expected to find an overwhelming amount of darkness." He glanced at Riku, then me, who was completely frozen, anxious of what his next words would be. He glued his eyes back on the floor, taking a deep breath. "It appears that your heart was very close to giving into darkness a mere 24 hours ago. However, you've collected strength against it and have beaten it down extremely well. I would be shocked if you ever heard Xehanort again." He took a very long gulp of wine, smacked his lips and studied his glass before speaking again. "You are, in essence, stealing strength from Riku."

I looked at Riku, then DiZ again. "…Why?"

DiZ looked at me incredulously. "To defeat the darkness that had been consuming your heart."

"So now that darkness is out of the picture with my heart, the power I bummed off him will go back, won't it?"

DiZ downed the rest of his glass, staring at the ceiling, now. "It appears that, the closer your hearts are, the more yours is able to steal from him."

"But that's stupid," Riku said. DiZ looked at him, gritting his teeth. "We were worlds apart when I stole from her." He stood up and set his glass on the desk.

"You may have stolen from her earlier than you think," DiZ said calmly. "You said you found the door to darkness several years before it opened?"

Riku paused. "This is idiotic. I'm done messing with your theories." He walked up the stairs, scratching the back of his neck, the other hand in a fist at his side.

DiZ and I stared at each other a long moment.

"Will he get his strength back if I go home?" I asked quietly.

"I believe so."

"How sure are you?"

He took a deep breath. "Ninety percent."

I nodded slowly, staring at my glass a long moment. "…Tell me the truth, DiZ. When was the last time you were wrong?" I looked back up at him and he smiled weakly.

"I assume you're referring to scientific theories, not psychological or relational?"

"Which do you categorize _this_ under?"

"Scientific. The last time was in elementary school. Baking soda and vinegar do, in fact, somewhat explode when combined – much to my eight-year-old self's chagrin. I lost two munny on that bet." He smiled a little more, pouring himself more wine.

"So started the career of DiZ," I said dramatically.

"So ended his fondness of gambling." He took a sip, staring at the wall for a long moment. "Riku cannot let his emotions get in the way of assisting Sora."

"But he's almost awake, isn't he?" I asked. "Couldn't…?"_ Couldn't Riku have a normal life for a little while?_

"He is still under the burden of darkness – the Organization is still working against Sora—"

I nodded. "I know… I know." _I just don't want to leave._ "How do I get home?" I asked.

"A dark corridor."

I stood up, staring at him matter-of-factly. "And if I stay?"

He paused a moment. "Would you risk sacrificing Riku's skill and safety just to be with him?"

I set the glass back on the desk. "No."


	44. Chapter 44 Bruises and Farewells

I found Riku doing push-ups in his room. "Because you're totally not ripped enough already," I said sarcastically.

"How do you think I stay that way?" he replied.

"I thought running around smashing Dusks into a billion tiny pieces would've done the trick. But, I am the lowly sidekick. What do I know?" I walked in, smiling a little and sitting on the edge of his bed, watching and waiting for him to finish. Three very long minutes passed. He still wasn't done. "You can stop and talk to me any time you want, now."

He paused, arms locked in place against the floor, and looked over at me. "You're not leaving." He continued his push-ups.

"Oh, aren't I? Last time I checked, you were the one who kept trying to convince me I'd be better off at Destiny Islands."

"Last time _I_ checked, _you_ were dead-set against it."

"But look at you! You took a _nap_! You could barely function after spreading some darkness on the ground! You were out of breath after reassembling us across the woods! You do that _every day_, and now suddenly you're tired and I can't hear Xehanort."

He paused with outstretched arms again, slamming his right fist against the floor. "I lost count!"

"You just hit push-up number 8,956!" I snapped.

"Stop yelling!" he shouted.

"You first!"

"What are we, three?" He sat back on his feet and crossed his arms.

"Well, you're doing a pretty good impression!" I said, gesturing to him.

He rolled his eyes and uncrossed his arms, standing up and walking over to his dresser. "Stealing my strength… It'll go away. It came on suddenly, it'll leave suddenly."

"Riku…"

"You didn't get _your_ strength back just by us being separated!" He pulled his shirt off.

"The circumstances are different, and— What are you _doing_?"

"The other shirt is sweaty. It smells like shit. I need a new one." He pulled a clean shirt out of the drawer.

"If it smells like shit from your sweat, maybe you need to _shower_," I said.

He rolled his eyes and chucked the t-shirt at me. "If that's what'll get you off my back, that's what I'll do!" He stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him.

"You're seriously going to take a shower _now_? In the middle of a conversation?"

"You mean a screaming match!"

"_Why_ are you acting all pissed at me?" I shouted, standing outside the door.

"Because you're all over me about everything!" he shouted back. I heard the water running.

"Riku! Come _on_! It's not like I'll never see you again!"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore!"

_You're so stupid!_ I banged my head against the door. _You can be silent, but there's only one way out of that bathroom that won't make you narcoleptic, and I'm going to be here when you come out!_

I sat down cross-legged in front of the door, resting my elbows on my knees, resting my face in my hands.

_It's no big deal. It isn't. It's like getting home from vacation sooner than him. He'll show up, it'll just take time. Yes. That's totally it. Totally._

I sat there for about a half-hour, the denial of fear slowly drifting away.

_He may not come home. He may get hurt by the Organization. He may slip up. And where will Robin be while Batman falls? Eating ice cream on the beach like a lazy jackwagon. But if I don't do something about stealing strength from him, he could get so much worse…_

The door opened and there Riku stood, wet hair clinging to his bare shoulders. I looked at a spot on his side, unable to tell if it was a bruise – then I saw it was words.

"This damage inflicted by Miyuki," I read aloud. I stood up and smiled. "It didn't wash off?"

"You used a permanent marker."

"Even _that_ comes off if you scrub it."

"Well I didn't scrub it, alright?" He walked past me, walking to the bed and grabbing the clean shirt from there, tugging it on.

I hooked my thumbs on my pockets and leaned against the wall by the bathroom door. "It's not the end of the world if I go back to Destiny Islands."

He crossed his arms, staring at his bed. "I know."

"It's not the end of _anything_ if I go back to Destiny Islands." There was a pause. "…Look, leaving isn't exactly my favorite idea either."

"If that's what you think, _why leave_?"

"Because, I—!" I stopped myself, taking a deep breath. "Remember when we realized what really happened with my parents? And you felt _terrible_? And you felt like you had to keep from hurting me?"

"Yes, I remember," he said quietly.

"Well Riku, I am seeing you tired, and losing your grip, and it scares me, because I'm the one doing it to you and it might get you hurt. Depending on what sort of contact you come into with the Organization, maybe even killed."

"I'm not going to lose to the Organization," he said defiantly.

"That's right, because you're getting your strength back when I go home."

"How do you know that's going to work?"

"Because the last time DiZ was wrong about scientific crap, his biggest concern was how to avoid bathing and eating his peas."

His eyebrows knit. "Oh, of course, I forgot about his childhood," he said sarcastically. "That doesn't change how pissed I am!"

"You can't be _that_ angry about me leaving! You tried to get me to leave _sooner_," I scoffed.

"That was before!"

"Before _what_?"

"Before I figured out—!" He stopped himself, staring at the floor and rubbing the back of his neck. "Dammit, Miyuki, don't leave!" He looked back up at me pleadingly. "What do I do if Xehanort takes over and I can't find my way to the surface again?"

"Your heart'll be stronger!"

"_What if it doesn't work_?"

"Then I give you permission to come retrieve me," I said.

He shook his head. "It's not that easy."

"Why not?"

"Because nothing ever is. Miyuki, please, don't leave."

"You are _weakening_, Riku. Believe it or not, Robin can't take Batman's place for the rest of the movie."

"We're not superheroes, alright? I don't want you to go!" he shouted, pointing at me.

I swallowed. "How loud is he, Riku?"

He stared at me a minute. "_What_?"

"How loud is Xehanort?"

He shut his eyes and shook his head. "That's… That's irrelevant."

"So, what, almost louder than your own thoughts?"

"No, not that bad!" He looked up at me, keeping his head ducked, face turned towards the ground. "Not… _that_ bad…"

"It's only gonna get worse." I shrugged. "I can't do that to you! And what happened to the confident, 'we'll only be separated for a little while' attitude?"

His voice was low and he rubbed the back of his neck, staring at the floor again. "If you go back, if I get my strength back, you're going to hear him again. You're going to have him in your head. _Why_ would I want you to go home to that?" He looked up at me and my face flushed red. Tears were collecting in the corner of his livid eyes.

I swallowed. "I'm not afraid of him."

He blinked hard. "Miyuki, stop trying to—"

My voice shook, but my words were spilling out of my mouth as quickly as they came to mind. "No, look, you got through it, right? You're one of the most fucked up people I know, and you're still great. You still know compassion, and mercy, and you should be the epitomy of cruelty, but you're not. So there has to be something in you that's resilient against all the darkness." I swallowed again. "There's a light inside. There has to be. It doesn't make sense if there isn't."

He paused. "You sound like a crusty fortune cookie again."

"Crusty is just another word for awesome," I mumbled.

He exhaled and looked down, shaking his head. "How do I manage to do this?" he hissed.

"Do what? Mock me? It's pretty easy, actually—"

"I mean," he said bitterly, "it's not like I didn't screw you over enough already."

"What?" I stared at him blankly.

"You either steal strength from me or be tortured by Xehanort. You shouldn't have to be in this position!"

"I shouldn't have to ooze blood tissue through my genitals once a month either, but that's gonna start pretty soon, too!"

His eyebrows knit. "_What_?"

"I was trying to gross you out and lighten the mood!"

"How do the two even relate?"

"Well, you being grossed out would've amused _me_… Look, maybe you're cheating me out of sanity, but I prefer insanity with you than sanity without you."

"Then why are you leaving?"

"Because I'm hurting you! You know I am!"

He stared at me a long moment, his hands clenching into fists at his side. I could see the muscles in his arms tensing, tighter and tighter, and I wondered if they could pop. He bent over, grabbing his head with both hands, screaming suddenly. "Shut the _fuck_ up!"

I jumped a little at the outburst, uncertain as to what his next move would be. "Ri—?"

"I'm five," he laughed quietly. "I'm throwing a tantrum. I'm five years old."

"That makes me _really_ creepy," I mumbled.

He shook his head, still staring down at the floor, but straightening his back a bit. He wiped his face with one hand, crossed his arms, and looked up at me with a sort of cold, stoic expression. "…I believe you."

I blinked at him. "That I'm… really creepy…?"

"When you say you're only leaving because you're making me weak. I believe you."

_Well who told you _not_ to—? …Damn you, Xehanort._ I crossed my arms. "That's good, considering it's true."

He uncrossed his arms, shoving his hands in his pockets, staring at the floor. "When do you want me to drop you off?" he asked quietly.

"DiZ said the sooner, the better, considering how much is happening with Roxas and Naminé, and how much stamina you seem to be losing…"

He nodded, eyes glued to the floor as he took a step forward. "Basically, you want to go now?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Well… I want to say good-bye to DiZ and Naminé first."

He nodded again. "I'll wait here." He walked over to the bed and sat down.

I swallowed and walked out the door – he didn't once make eye contact as I passed him. I headed down to Naminé's room, half expecting her to not be there – after all, there was no bed in that room, and she had to sleep sometime, right? But when I peeked inside the door, there she sat, drawing away, a white candle resting beside her.

"Hey," I said quietly.

She looked up and smiled faintly. "Hello." She paused. "You look worried."

"Oh, no." I shrugged as I walked in. "Not particularly. I'm just gonna go home, and I thought I'd say bye."

"Home?" she echoed.

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Destiny Islands. I'll meet the other you," I said lightly. _That sounds awkward._ "I'll tell you you say hi, if you want."

She smiled and shook her head, looking down at her drawing. "No thank you."

I twisted my lips to one side. "If you don't mind my asking, what do you want to tell Roxas so badly?"

Her smile was more genuine, now. "When Sora awakens, Roxas isn't going to disappear. He's going to become part of Sora again. He needs to know that." She looked up at me, and for the first time, I saw a sort of resolve in her eyes.

_Is Riku the first person to let you do what you want in the entirety of your existence?_ I thought, honestly wondering if I was right.

"I'm going to be fine," she said confidently.

I nodded. "Yeah. See you later, Naminé." I waved as I walked out the door, headed for the steps to the foyer. _…I'm glad the joke about her other half wasn't as insensitive as I thought._

I stepped into the library to see DiZ observing one of the shelves, an empty glass in his hand. "What'cha lookin' at?" I asked.

"I am pondering what will befall these chronicles once I leave this place," he said, not taking his eyes from them. He raised his glass to his lips, realized it was empty, and threw it on the floor. It shattered with a near-deafening crack against the wood.

"You know, littering is against the law," I remarked, walking towards him.

"No one shall ever know it was me. Perhaps you would like to obliterate something?" he asked, gesturing to the empty wine bottle.

"Nah. I'm taking off in a minute."

"Ah, for your island," he nodded. "Shame, that."

"My island?"

"The fact that you must return to it on such short, lonely notice."

"Oh, you make it sound so lovely," I said sarcastically.

He chuckled softly. "I am universally famous for my skills of playing things up."

"Because you're such a charismatic guy."

"Exactly." He turned to face me, folding his hands behind his back. "I would toast you, had I a glass full of wine."

"I appreciate that."

He nodded, looking down. "Please do not think ill of me."

My eyebrows popped up. "What do you mean?"

He looked back up at me. "I have treated you poorly. I have been very unkind. Please understand that I am working desperately towards a very important goal—"

"DiZ—"

"My name is Ansem."

I swallowed. "Ansem… I think you've been more than fair to me. You invested so much time and effort into helping me – not many people are that generous."

He paused. "I used to be a very pleasant person."

"Under the circumstances, one can understand how you could feel a bit stressed."

There was another pause. "I hope you do very well, Miyuki."

"Back at you," I said. We shook hands. "Good-bye, Ansem," I said, smiling.

I was glad to see a hint of optimism in his golden eye. "Farewell, Miyuki."

I walked out to the foyer and back up to Riku's room, taking in the darkened settings with a hint of nostalgia. _This place had become comfortable for me…_ I stepped into Riku's room and stared at him a minute. He was sitting with his elbows on his knees, head in his hands.

"Hey," I said softly.

He looked up at me. "Ready, then?"

"Mhm." I stepped forward and he stood up. "Hey… Riku?"

"Yeah?"

The second he turned towards me, I punched him as hard as I could in the ribs.

"_Ow_! What the hell?" he snapped, clutching his side and backing away.

"A bruise to remember me by!" I said brightly, smiling.

He pinched my arm with one hand and opened a dark corridor with the other. "Just get in there!" he cried.

I stepped through the darkness – it didn't feel at all as powerful as it did the last time. I turned to see Riku standing just inside the corridor.

"Alright. This is where I stop," he said.

I blinked at him. "You're not going to take me to the shore?"

"I could barely get this corridor open. I don't want to try a second one." He swallowed in the long pause that followed. "I don't know what to say."

I shrugged. "See you later, I guess."

"Yeah… I guess…"

We stood there, staring at each other awkwardly.

"I'm not going to forget about you, Batman. You know that, right?"

He smiled. "Yeah. And, considering you've bruised me, written on me and bought me a vest, there's no way I'm forgetting you."

I bit my lower lip. _I'm so dumb. I'm _still _afraid to leave him._ "For… For all intents and purposes…" I cleared my throat, my face going red. "I, uh…"

"I love you, too," he said, smiling. My eyebrows raised at him. He suddenly looked horrified. "That _was_ what you were going to—?"

"No, Riku, I was going to tell you I'm hungry," I said sarcastically. "Of course I was going to say 'I love you'! But Batman had to go and steal Robin's thunder again!"

"Last time I tried that, it was painful," he remarked.

"Curse you and your stupid pointy-eared mask!"

He took a step forward, hooked an arm around my waist and pressed his lips against mine. My heart was pounding in my ears. _The last time I'll feel your warmth for who knows how long…_ I put a hand on his neck, tracing my fingers across the veins throbbing with his pulse. After a very brief moment, he pulled back. "You have to go, before the doors close," he said quietly, taking my hand from his neck. He put something paper in my hand and stepped backwards, towards the door. "Go!"

"I _will_ have my revenge on you, Batman!"

He smiled a little, his heel hitting the black end of the corridor. "I'll miss you."

"Until we meet again!" I cried, running towards the other end, watching him the whole time. He disappeared into the black just as I tripped onto the beach.

I did a face-plant in the sand and sat up immediately, sputtering and shaking it out of my hair. I looked around at the moonlit shore – no one besides me was here. A pang of loneliness struck me hard in the chest and I pulled my legs up to my chest, wrapped my arms around them, leaning my head against my knees. I clutched the paper he'd given me with a death grip.

_This feeling of being left alone, of fear that I won't see you again… This is what I was afraid of._


	45. Chapter 45 Thank You

I felt my face get hot and knew I was about to cry – unacceptable behavior when you're on someone else's property and are preparing to make first impressions. I stood up quickly and dusted myself off. Tear ducts soaking their material back up, logic refreshing itself in my mind (_I'm not some spineless bimbo who can't live without a man! I'll see him again! What the hell's wrong with me?_), I opened up the note. It was difficult to read, but there was just enough moonlight to allow it.

"Since you never stop talking, and I never know how the hell to say things, I figured I'd better just write this down just in case I can't tell it to your face. There's been a lot of shit to wade through, and I'm pretty sure no one else could've put up with me the way you did. I don't think I ever told you thanks. So, thanks. Thank you for reminding me of what light looks like."

I grit my teeth and swallowed hard, recalling when he'd lugged me through the corridor the day we met.

"_Thank you," I said quietly._

"_For what?"_

"_For not killing me when I stalked you, and treating me with respect even when I acted stupid, and lugging me around…"_

"_You're welcome."_

I smiled faintly at the memory. _…I'll kill you myself if you don't come home soon._ I read the note over a few times before stuffing it into my pocket, zipping up my jacket, and walked towards the dock.

_Better go to the mainland while I still can. Who knows how long this decent weather will last…?_

As I stepped onto the dock, contemplating whether or not I could clamber into one of the boats without injuring myself or falling into the water, I realized I was really _home_. And I had a few places I wanted to visit.

I sat on the edge of the dock, legs dangling over the boat, carefully lowering myself into it. I was having trouble judging the distance to the bottom, and for a split second, I thought I was going to fall over before my feet hit the wood – but I kept my balance, sat down, and after untying the friggin' thing (not an easy task, seeing as how I was painfully inexperienced with knots) I was able to row myself to the mainland. I had to stop and redirect myself several times, but I got there nonetheless.

I tied the boat to a nearby tree – _It's as good as anything. If the owner didn't want it tied up there, they shouldn't have left it out in the open like that._ – and walked up towards town. It was so quaint, with its cobblestone streets and little cottages. All the restaurants looked inviting, warm light spilling onto the street from the windows – some of which were stained glass. The street lamps looked victorian – I could see candles burning in them.

_This place doesn't seem real._

I stopped at a sign that featured a word all-too pleasant to me: inn. I walked into the building to see a very prim-and-proper looking older woman standing behind the counter. The rest of the lounge was empty, the only sound being the ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner.

"Hello," I said quietly, trying not to be too loud in the midst of the peace.

"EH?" she shouted at me.

I jumped a little. "U-Um." I raised my voice. "How much does a room cost?"

"SINGLE BED?" She sounded like a megaphone in my ear.

"Y-Yes!" I nodded enthusiastically.

"500 MUNNY."

"Okay!" I pulled my credit card out of my back pocket and handed it to her. She swiped it and stared at me. "Is something wrong?" I asked.

"YOUR CARD'S BEEN REJECTED."

_That's ridiculous!_ "Try it again, please!"

She swiped it again. And again. I was about to snatch it from her and walk out, when she turned it the other way and swiped it a fourth time. She smiled at me. "WELCOME TO SERENITY LODGINGS. YOU'RE IN ROOM THREE, JUST UP THOSE STAIRS."

I smiled tightly as she handed me my room key and my card. "Thank you," I mouthed silently, and walked up the stairs at the end of the room. The hallway was just as deserted and silent as the lounge, minus the screaming deaf woman. Oddly enough, my room was the very first door I came to – I wasn't complaining. I waddled in and collapsed on the bed face-first, scooching up until my face hit the pillow, thinking back.

_I was about to ask where Riku was, when he walked in, rubbing the back of his neck. "I missed breakfast?"_

"_I saved you a plate," Naminé nodded towards the counter._

"_Thanks." His voice was quiet and thick with sleep. He ran a hand over his face, pushing his bangs back. "We stayed up way too late last night," he said to me._

_Naminé dropped a plate and the sudden racket made us jump. Nemo toppled off of my shoulders, stood up and hissed at Naminé. _

I laughed a little – it seemed loud, in the middle of the huge, silent room.

_I opened my eyes and looked over at the doorway, where Naminé stood very uncomfortably._

"_B-Breakfast is, uh… Er, you know what? Never mind, okay? I'll just, um…" She practically slammed the door shut, and Riku's head snapped up._

"_What happened?" he said, his voice thick with sleep._

_My face flushed red. "Oh, we just made Naminé feel insanely awkward."_

"_What? Why?"_

_I snorted. "Well, whose room are you in, Riku?"_

"_Oh." He smirked and laid back down, resting his hands beneath his head. "That's nothing to worry about. She jumped to conclusions days ago."_

I flipped onto my back, swung my legs over the side of the bed, and starting untying my shoes. Sand was spilling out of them as I tugged them off.

_He got on one knee again, untying _my_ shoes this time. "You keep preaching, I'll just take these off for you."_

I threw my shoes against the wall, an extremely loud thud cracking through the room. I realized my hands were clenched into fists on my lap and stretched them out, cracking my knuckles. I unzipped my jacket, throwing it across the room, too, and laying back down on the bed, folding my hands beneath my head.

_Goodnight, Riku._

My eyes closed and sometime after the memories I was replaying in my mind had gotten too tired to entertain me, I drifted asleep.

_My entire body trembles as he leads me to a chair. "Just relax. Have some ice cream." There's a smile on his face that tells me I'm being stupid, thinking there's a problem. There's a glint in his turqoise eye that tells me he's thinking the same thing. "It's not fair, you know, subjecting you to a threat just so my ass is covered," he says, crossing his arms. "What's even worse is that there's no guarantee it'll get me my strength back."_

_I smile weakly. "Oh, you're getting it back."_

"_How do you know?"_

_I swallow and look at the corner of the room – judging by the overwhelming white, we're in Naminé's room – there, swathed in black, stands Xehanort, stoic and silent. "Call it instinct," I say quietly. I stand up and although I want to focus back on Riku, my eyes are glued on Xehanort. Something about him seems different – his silence, maybe._

"_You're thinking I'm a stupid child," I say, feeling oddly bold. He is silent still. "You're thinking how easily you could overthrow a silly little girl like me." He stares at me unflinchingly, and he's within an arm's reach of me, now. "You're thinking, how delightful, I've ruined their relationship. Maybe forever." I grip his collar and slam him against the wall. "I'm not immersed in darkness enough to hear you – not yet – so I'm going to take advantage of this moment of power." I grip his throat in my right hand. "You are the cause of all this heartache. _You_. So the next time you think about—" His eyes wander from mine and I pull his neck towards me, then slam his head against the wall with a sharp crack. "The next time you think about hurting Riku!" I scream in his ear, "or go against _anything_ he wants to do, remember that I am _not_ afraid of you, I _will_ find you, and I will _murder_ you. And the only reason you're still breathing is because I want you to know how it feels to be overwhelmed by an element that horrifies you." I slam his head against the wall again. "So how does it feel, mother fucker?"_

My eyes open and I see my hands gripping to ends of a pillow, twisting it like a candy cane. My heart was pounding, my throat hurt, and I was breathing so heavily it was awkward. I sat up and wiped my face with one hand.

_Back in an inn, dreaming about Riku._

Logically, I thought it should feel as if my stay at the Old Mansion had just been a bizarre vacation, that now I was coming back to reality. _I am alone. It's real life when I am alone._ That sounded logical. That sounded safe. But it felt like I'd left home – like my life had been thrown off of a balance it'd just found. I walked over to my hoodie and shoes, tugging them on sluggishly. If this was reality, if this was my normal life, it felt much slower than my vacation.

I wasn't hungry, oddly enough. Somewhere between feeling lonely and feeling pissed at Xehanort, I must've lost my appetite. I walked right past the complimentary breakfast without so much as a hint of a growling stomach.

It was surprisingly warm as I stepped onto the street, sizing up the town in daylight. It'd turned to sunshine, no clouds in the sky, a soft breeze taking the edge off the heat. A girl was walking by, headed for the island I'd been dropped off at, and I smiled.

"Morning," I said brightly.

"Good morning," she replied, smiling back and slowing her gait.

"Could you tell me where Hartford Street is?" I asked, and just as I spoke, it occurred to me that this was Kairi. The dress had changed, the hair was longer – then again, all I had to go on were crayon drawings by someone whose main focus wasn't detail. _Maybe I shouldn't jump to conclusions…_

"Um." Her eyebrows knit and she slowed to a stop in front of me. "Hrm. I think that's downtown." She looked at me a minute, cocking her head to the side. "Have we met somewhere?"

I looked at her thoughtfully. "Are you Kairi?" I asked.

"Yes!" she said, "And you're…" She looked apologetic, laughing nervously. "I… I can't remember. Where have we met?"

"Well," I said carefully, "I… only knew about you through a mutual friend of ours."

"Ohh, through Selphie," she said, nodding.

_I have no idea how you're going to react to hearing this…_ "No, Riku," I said, wincing a little.

Her eyes widened. "Riku? Who _are_ you?"

"Miyuki."

"Where…? How…? Can you explain—?" She stopped herself and looked around. "Um, no one else knows what happened. Can we talk about this at the island?" She pointed down the road, which slanted down towards shore, leaving a direct line of sight to the island on the horizon.

"Well…" _It's not like I don't have time._ "Yeah, sounds good."

"Let's get some ice cream on the way," she said.

I smiled. "Even better."

We walked silently along for an awkward moment, staring at the sidewalk ahead of us.

"Sora's fine," I said quietly, looking at her from the corner of my eye.

Her head snapped up to me and she stared at me a moment before exhaling and laughing a little. "Good. I'm really glad." She looked back at the horizon, a smile resting on her face.

We spoke a little more now, chatting about when I got here, how I slept, how I liked the weather. When we finally reached the shore with our ice cream, she laughed at the boat tied to a tree. I pursed my lips as she walked a little ways to the left, towards the end of the shore, where a dock rested. _Oh, c'mon! How did I not see that?_ I thought.

"Someone must've been out of it last night," she giggled.

I snorted. "They probably still are."

She offered to row and I accepted. I didn't care to showcase my lack of boating skills. She even tied the boat to the dock – making me wonder if she knew I was the weirdo that ignored the dock on the mainland – so when we hopped out, I grabbed the ice cream for us. I pulled out our ice cream as we walked towards the spit of land connected to the island by a bridge, handing Kairi her portion.

"How did you meet him?" she asked, her voice a little strained.

I smiled. "I followed him into a dark corridor."

"A what?"

"It's basically a portal of darkness." _I should be able to summon one, soon enough…_

"So he still uses darkness?" she asked quietly, staring at her ice cream.

"He literally can't help it. It's stuck in him."

"What about Sora?" she looked over at me. "He's still… er…?"

I took a deep breath. "He's still got a few things to take care of. I never actually met him, just because of how things turned out – but he's definitely all systems go." _I hope. Dammit, I never considered that something might go wrong with Sora's awakening. And I have no way of finding out!_ "Dammit," I whispered.

"What's wrong?" Kairi asked immediately as ice cream dripped onto my hand.

"Nothing," I licked the ice cream off and took a bite of the bar.

_I rubbed my arm with my hand and touched something wet – ice cream. Humiliation washed over me. I'd flipped out, not because darkness had resurfaced and was trying to capture me. It was sugary frozen dairy product molesting me this time._

"You sure?"

I swallowed. "Yeah, I just—I wish I had tabs on everything they were doing. I'm nosey," I said, smiling.

She tilted her head to the side, staring at me matter-of-factly. "What are you doing here, Miyuki?"

"Eating ice cream," I replied. "What's it look like?"

"If I was there, aware of everything that was happening, I wouldn't come back to this stupid world."

"It's not a stupid world, it's home," I snapped. I paused, trying not to bite her head off. "…But I didn't want to come back before everyone else."

"So why did you?"

"Because my heart's been stealing strength from Riku's and making him weak as water. Which is really bad, considering everything he's trying to do. The distance makes it harder for my heart to bum off of his."

Her expression softened a little as she stared at me a long moment. We came to the tree I knew the three of them always sat on and she started walking up on the sideways trunk, stopping at the place it stretched up vertically and sitting next to the bend there. I stood there awkwardly, wondering if it'd be disrespectful to take one of the boys' seats.

"You're allowed to sit down," she laughed softly.

"Yeah, I just didn't want to be impolite." I walked over, held my ice cream in my mouth, put my hands on top of the trunk and lifted myself onto it, sitting next to Kairi. We stared at the mainland for a long moment before she broke the silence.

"I hate being here. I hate the town, I hate the weather, I hate the petty, stupid things that don't even matter but I'm forced to do." I couldn't think of anything to say as she took a bite and swallowed. "I was unconscious most of my adventure. I was sent home before I even got to experience a life outside of this one." She shook her head. "…No. I'm just being dumb." She looked at her lap. "I just want him to come home."

I nudged her arm with my elbow. "He will. Just be patient."

"Easy for you to say. It's been a day for you – it's been 378 for me."

My eyebrows popped up at her. "You've been keeping track?"

Her face went red. "It's _really_ boring here," she mumbled.

I laughed. "Yeah… I guess." I looked at my ice cream._ I'm going to go see what's left of my house. 44 Hartford Street…_

"_Is it your world you want back, or your parents?"_ I recalled Riku saying in one of the many dreams we shared.

_Of course I want them back. I know finding my house won't give them to me, but it'll give me some little sliver of our lives… That's all I need._

"How is your heart able to steal from his?" Kairi asked, breaking my concentration.

I glanced up at her then stared at my ice cream, my face turning red. "Er… It's a long story."

"I have time," she shrugged.

I rubbed the back of my neck. "It sounds stupid."

"I just told you the exact number of days it's been since I got home," she giggled. "It'd only make us even."

I swallowed. "Well. It's like… our hearts are connected. And he stole from me when he found the door to darkness. So my heart was stealing from him—" _–since darkness is growing in my heart. But can I tell you that? Will you understand? Judging by the reaction to Riku still using it, you're not very open-minded…_ I took a bite of ice cream.

"That's not embarrassing," she scoffed. "That's sweet. I don't think we're even."

I laughed a little. "Don't worry, I'm sure I'll balance it out soon enough."

She giggled, and a brief moment passed silently. "Hey, Miyuki?" she said, smiling.

"Hm?"

"It's nice to meet you."

"_Before you ask again, it's Riku."_

_I smiled. "I'm Miyuki. Nice to meet you."_

"_It certainly is a memorable encounter," he snorted._

I nodded. "You, too," I said, smiling a little.


	46. Chapter 46 Memory That Isn't Mine

I chucked the ice cream stick into the trash bin at the corner of Hartford and Moore Street. I walked down the street, hands in my pockets, trying to wipe off the sweat on my palms on the inside fabric. Kairi had gone to her friend Selphie's, and although she invited me, I insisted on coming here.

_Almost home._

My house was all the way at the end of the road, in the middle of a huge green lot, a mile from the other houses, with a green roof and pale blue siding. Mom had bright orange marigolds lining the sidewalk to the front door, which she painted dark blue. I remember her yelling at me not to touch it; that if I wanted to go outside, I had to use the back door until the front door's paint dried.

I sized up the house before me. The once lush, grassy ground was now nothing but dirt. The siding was brown with filth, the door was peeling and hanging halfway open, the sidewalk was overgrown, the flowerbed lining it empty and dry. The gutters were stocked with leaves, the roof was missing shingles, the steps were weathered and chipped to small nubs.

"_Welcome home,"_ hissed that all-too familiar voice.

I ignored him and pushed the door the rest of the way open, dust flying everywhere, a spider crawling outside. I stepped inside and sized up my old living room – everything was still there, it was just dirty and worn. The armchair Dad would sit in, the couch I used to do my homework on, the coffee table Mom painted three different colors before settling on one…

I stepped forward, the floorboards creaking beneath my weight.

"_Don't you think it's a little silly to go looking for your parents when you _know_ you won't find them?"_ his voice echoed through my head.

"You know I'm only here for memories." I walked towards the endtable next to the armchair. _Dad used to keep his sketchbook here…_ I fished through the basket beneath the endtable – I pulled out several magazines, some cobwebs, and finally, the sketchbook I wanted so badly. I flipped through the pages, studying the sketches he'd done of me, Mom and himself. They were as good as any photo album I'd ever have – which was good, because both of my parents hated cameras. Mom honestly believed they stole a piece of your soul, and Dad said it made real artists redundant.

I tucked the sketchbook beneath my arm and walked up the stairs, to their bedroom. The dresser drawers were all opened, as were the drawers on the jewelry box. _It was probably stupid to think I'd find anything of theirs that was valuable. The door _was_ hanging wide open._

I turned to walk out and stopped at something glinting at my feet in the light streaming through the window. I leaned down and picked it up – it was a gold ring, just a plain band, with _"Always Yours –Lori"_ etched on the inside. That was my Mom's name – I slid the ring onto my ring finger and it was too loose. I tried my thumb, and it fit perfectly. _Thank you, stupid burglars, for dropping my father's ring._ I stepped into the doorway, ready to go out into the hall, but I heard floorboards creak behind me. I froze in place, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up.

I slowly, carefully set the sketchbook around the corner of the door, slowly turning to look at whoever was behind me. I froze stiff when I saw my father standing there, smiling faintly at me, walking towards me with open arms.

"…D-Daddy…?" I whispered.

"_Who else _could_ it be? Stupid girl."_

I swallowed. "This isn't real."

"_It's real enough."_

I stepped towards him, my hand raising from my side towards his. "It's…" My hand halted mid-air. "…cold." _Like darkness._ "Fire." I held my palm up towards his face and I heard a low hiss as the flames consumed his head.

"So Xehanort, out of curiosity, are the clothes attached to it, or just an accessory?" I growled.

"_Idiot girl! You would strike your own father?"_

"Fira." The clothes caught on fire, turning deep purple and curling in the heat. "They were appendages, then. Blizzaga." Ice covers the fire, quickly melting and putting it out. I turn and walk out, taking the sketchbook with me down the steps.

"_You insolent little bitch. Who do you think you are?"_

"_Not_ your new puppet."

My foot was out the front door, lowering to the weather step-stone, when my head became incredibly light. I tripped down the steps, trying to find my balance again – it wasn't working.

"You're not as strong as you think," laughs Xehanort, who is now standing in front of me.

I slowed to a stop, glaring at him as best as I could with my spinning head. My knees were starting to wobble beneath me. _I'm not falling to my knees in front of him. No way in hell._ I locked my knees and swallowed, triyng not to sway. Things were darkening. He was smiling.

"Goodnight," he said cheerily, and everything did go black.

"_Shit," I hissed, slamming one fist towards Riku's side. He deflected that with another block. I stretched my neck out and chomped on his fingers wrapped around my upper arm._

"_What the—?" he spat, letting go and backing away. "Did you just _bite_ me?"_

_I rolled my shoulders, cracking the joints. "Bite you?" I said innocently. "You think _I_ would _bite_ you?"_

"_You just have a… unique way of fighting."_

"_Stop being a little girly-man!" I said, punching him in the arm._

"_I know darkness perfectly well! You know my history, you should know that!"_

"_Watching Daddy die from a distance is hardly learning it inside out!"_

_I walked over to him in two long strides, pulled my fist back, and slammed it into his nose. He stepped away and held his face in one hand, blood seeping down the front of him._

_I looked up to see Naminé cowering from the black-clad boy now standing in his bedroom doorway, arms crossed._

"_What the hell are you doing, Miyuki?" he said, his tone much lighter than Naminé must've expected. I opened the top drawer and grabbed a pair of boxers._

"_Playing with your underwear," I said simply, chucking them at his head._

"_Do you _know_ how much you ruined? Do you _know_ how much it hurts?"_

"_No, Miyuki, why don't you _tell_ me?" he shouted, snapping his head up towards me. Angry, shimmering yellow eyes glared into mine. "Do you know how much it hurts to know you're the one who killed nearly everyone you ever cared for? Then there's this tiny glimmer of light – maybe you haven't fucked someone over as badly – and you realize that it's bullshit, too."_

My eyes opened to darkness.

"The last time this happened was in Twilight Town, after Orlando sold me hair dye…" I mumbled, standing up. I crossed my arms, staring at Xehanort, who stood in front of me with an eerie grin on his face.

"You've no fool of a boy to protect you now."

"Whatever _shall_ I do?" I said sarcastically.

"Ah… Let me drink in this moment." He took a deep breath, closing his eyes – I felt the temperature drop. A chill ran up my spine as freezing vines slid up the back of my legs.

I stepped towards Xehanort, gritting my teeth. "Well? How's this moment taste?" I remarked.

"Sweet," he answered, opening his eyes and holding his hand out to me. "You're finally approaching me. Finally accepting the darkness."

"Well there's no foolish boy to get in my way, now, is there?" I said bitterly. _Those vines aren't letting go, no matter how much I move. And Xehanort's going to have a hold of me in a minute. This isn't good._

"Mmm." He brushed the fingertips of his left hand against my face, tracing my jaw. I could feel blood trickling down my neck from where they'd cut me open, and swallowed hard. "And you thought you could resist it. Miyuki, when I'm through with you, you'll be the epitome of power. The living, breathing _essence_ of darkness. You'll be able to defeat _any_one. _Any_thing." His fingertips wandered down my neck, down my collarbone, leaving trails of blood behind them. The vines wound their way up my legs, wraping around my waist, seering into my skin with the same freezing, burning pain as before. His fingers passed my collarbone, tracing their way down – I gripped his wrist in my right hand.

"I don't need your power."

He stared at me blankly a moment before gripping my left arm in both hands. He had my wrist in his left hand, my forearm near my elbow in the other.

"What, are you trying to break it?" I scoffed, pivoting on my right foot and slamming the left into his groin. I gripped his left arm with my right hand again, kicking him as many times as I could. He bent over, trying to back away – I gripped his right arm with my left, tugging him towards me, pounding my knee into his gut. He twisted his arms free from my grasp and gripped my throat with his right hand, raising me off the ground.

"Foolish child! Did you think you could—"

I gripped his arm with both hands, lifted my leg up and planted my right foot in his face. I put my foot down and landed on both feet as he released his grip. I tugged his arm down past my torso with my left arm, pivoting on my left foot and swinging my right foot towards his chest. He gripped my leg with his free hand, but before he did anything, I held my right hand out towards him and cast fire.

He turned his head away and as quickly as I could, I got my balance, yanked his left arm towards me, and smacked my right foot into his chest. He tumbled to the ground and I stomped on his face, standing on his right arm, tugging his left arm up as hard as I could.

The vines had now wound all the way up my neck, making the incisions Xehanort left sting. I could feel them tense and sway, trying to pull me to the ground.

"Firaga!" I shouted, smashing my foot against Xehanort's face as hard as I could. The vines coiled away at the spell, but only for a moment. "Firaga! Firaga!" I repeated over and over, so much that I began to question whether or not is was a real spell. Slowly but surely, the vines began the melt, dripping off of me like they'd literally been frozen on. I was now getting tired from using so many spells and standing on top of Xehanort for so long. "Firaga," I panted. "Oh god… Get me out of here…"

Xehanort began to stand up – I was too tired to do anything except stumble a few feet away, mumbling "firaga" over and over.

I could barely speak, I'd cast firaga so much – the vines were beginning to creep back up my spine, blistering, restricting, freezing. I couldn't move anymore, only focus on breathing.

_This happens every time. Every time I go up against Xehanort, I end up suffocating. And every time, I think of you and hope you'll save me. I hope the thought of you strengthens me, or maybe you'll even physically appear and get rid of him. But you're not here, and he's infesting my heart, and now my body._

"You've always been a foolish little girl," Xehanort scoffed. "Thinking you could defeat me." _I knew I was going to lose when my eyes opened._ "Why do you resist darkness? It can only help you." _Don't insult my intelligence._ He stepped forward, stretching one hand out towards me. "Come, Miyuki. The less of a fight you put up, the less pain you will feel."

The freezing vines tugged me to the ground all at once, my head swimming. I felt Xehanort rest a hand on my face. "Tsk, tsk. You're still holding out?"

"I… won't… be your… puppet," I croaked, trying to breathe deeply. My lungs seemed to be shrinking, slowly destroying my ability to inhale. My entire body felt like it was on fire now, stinging all over, my eyes tight shut, Xehanort's hand scalding my cheek. _This can't be it. This can't end now._

"Become darkness itself," he hissed.

Images flashed through my mind, rushing in as if they were a dream I'd forgotten. A sickly pale face – a black crow – a woman holding a staff. _"The darkness holds no power over me. Rather, I will use its power to rule all worlds."_ A faintly familiar voice – teal eyes – a black key. _"We'll _see_ about that. This keyblade holds the power to unlock people's hearts. Open your heart – surrender it to the darkness! Become darkness itself!"_

In a flash, memories that weren't mine echoed across my mind.

I laughed hollowly. _I've been so stupid._

"Goodnight, Miyu—"

"You're such a fucking liar," I choked, then took a deep breath. "Some half-baked joke."

"I'll show you a jo—!"

"Shut up, you idiot." I smiled up at him. "You can't do jack-shit without that key."

He grit his teeth. "_Ridiculous_ child! How do you think your _parent's_ hearts were consumed?"

"I'm not stupid. Just their bodies were consumed. This whole… consuming my heart thing…" I coughed, trying to breathe deeply. It wasn't getting any easier. "…it's _in_ my heart… and it _can't be done without Riku's key_."

He gripped my throat with both hands, my face turning red. I tried to reach for his wrists and pull him off, but to no avail. "But dying in your heart is the same as dying in your body!" he hissed in my ear.

"Miyuki! Miyuki, are you alright?" Warm hands were shaking my shoulders when my eyes flapped open and squinted in the light.

"Oh, god, it burns!" I muttered, covering my face with both hands and sitting up.

"You didn't go _in_ that old place, did you?" Kairi asked.

I stretched one arm behind me, gesturing to the building wildly. "That… er… my old house," I sputtered. I took a deep breath and stood up to see a girl with short, light brown hair staring at me. "Er. Hi." _I bet I just made a dazzling first impression…_

"This is Selphie," Kairi said quickly, stepping towards the girl and hooking arms with her. I noticed the sketchbook in Kairi's other arm.

"Hey! Th-That's—!" I pointed to it and looked from her, to where I'd been laying. "That's my sketchbook! Give it back!" I started towards her and she handed it to me quickly.

"Sorry, sorry!" she said timidly.

I flipped through the pages, praying that the sketches hadn't somehow been erased. I sighed heavily when I saw them all there. I wiped my face with one hand, staring at the ground for a long moment, tucking the sketchbook beneath my arm.

"_I hate it when you cry."_

_My face went a little red. "Yeah, so do I."_

_He snaked one arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him, pressing his lips against my forehead. My free hand rested against his chest, his heart beating fervently beneath it while his hand gripped my other. "Just… don't go," he mumbled._

I looked up at Kairi, feeling incredibly awkward. "I'm gonna go to the island," I said quietly, gritting my teeth. I stormed past them down the street, wishing I could use a dark corridor one last time.

"Miyuki!" Kairi called after me. "We just wanted to make sure you're okay!"

I waved at them without looking back, feeling incredibly antisocial as I practically ran towards the island, tears running down my face.

_I leaned forward, sliding my hand up around his neck. Anything to keep him from pulling away. Anything to make this last a little longer._

"_You want me to unlock your heart using his key? That's what I'll do,"_ the ice-cold voice growls at me. _"I'll do whatever it takes to have you under my control, you stupid little girl!"_

"Shut up!" I screamed, ducking my head, breaking into a run through town, trying to focus on the pleasant, if not torturous, memory that'd sprung to mind.

"_The beach?"_

"_Why not?" he replied, smiling._

"_I'm not exactly equipped for swimming." I looked down at my clothes._

"_Just skinny-dip." I glared at him, zipping up my hoodie, and he smirked. "Relax. It was a joke."_

_

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_

**Thank you so much for all your reviews! They always make my day. And, to answer some of my reviews, when the story's officially over, I'll write "the end" at the bottom. XD But seriously, thank you for sticking with this story. It's really encouraging. ^-^**


	47. Chapter 47 Illusions

I sat beneath the bridge on the island, shoes beside me, waves lapping against my bare feet. The sketchbook laid across my lap, my Mom's portrait smiling up at me as I rubbed the ring on my thumb with my index finger.

"_Listen, kid. In this life, our choices usually fall under two categories – the coward's choice, and the honest man's choice."_

"_I'm not a man!"_

"_That's irrelevant."_

My mind turned to DiZ.

"_What were you thinking when you followed Riku into the dark corridor?"_

_I paused. "Well… I was thinking that, a coward runs from his problems, his fears – the honest man confronts them."_

"_You're not a man," DiZ said._

"_Thank you for noticing."_

I took a deep breath, brushing my hair back with one hand. "Why does every memory make me feel shitty?" I whispered.

The daylight was fading to twilight. It'd been at least three hours since I'd run away from Kairi and Selphie, and I still wasn't feeling very social.

_Why did my parents die, while all these other people lived? It isn't fair. It doesn't make sense._

"_Will you distance yourself from all others just to mourn what you don't have?"_ Xehanort scoffed.

I shook my head. _You're an idiot. I wish your parents had had their tubes tied._

"_Do not try to dismiss me! You know I'm right. A scared little girl will hide by herself, if she can't have exactly what she wants."_

_For the love of—If I threw a fit whenever I didn't get what I wanted, I'd never function at all!_

"_The moment you drift from consciousness, I _will_ have you."_

_Bring it on, you pretentious little—_

"_Your keyblade bearer won't keep me from possessing your heart." _I hear a cold laugh echo around me, and I know it's in my mind. _"He _started_ this, in fact. Sometimes I really must wonder if he doesn't want to possess you, himself."_

_He's not the one sneering at me and trying to kill me every five minutes._

"_When you're both wandering in darkness, it will be _so_ easy for me to consume you, Miyuki. The strength you'd stolen from him kept me from victory last night, but once you fall asleep this evening…"_

"Miyuki?" Kairi called, walking towards me across the beach.

My head, previously focused on the sketchbook, now snapped up towards her, and I smiled weakly. "Hey." I shut the book, folded it beneath my left arm, and stood up, snagging my shoes in my right hand.

Her expression was gentle as she approached me, a faint smile on her face. "You're embarrassed?" she said quietly.

I stared at her blankly a moment. "Ah…" I looked down. "I guess so. I'm not a fan of losing it in front of people."

"No one is," she said quietly. "So…" I looked back up and we stared at each other a moment.

"What?" I asked, a little sharper than I intended.

"—Nothing, I just… If you ever need to talk, or even just yell about something, I'm a good listener."

I smiled. "You want to know why I was sleeping outside my house."

She turned a little pink. "Well, yes. But only if you want to tell me."

I looked at the ground a moment. _"What's wrong, Miyuki? Will talking about it be too _painful _for you?"_ that nauseatingly condescending voice chimed in. I swallowed and looked back up at Kairi, all trace of a smile gone. "Um. My parents aren't around anymore." I paused – she looked mildly surprised. "I can't think of a nicer way to say it, so basically, Riku found the door to darkness and it ate up my half of our world – this world. That was when I was seven. And I got spat out at Traverse Town. I don't know why my parents weren't, or why everyone else on this island is alive when they aren't." I swallowed and stared at my bare feet. "So. That was my old house. And this is my dad's sketchbook. And his ring. Everything else was stolen."

She laid a hand on my shoulder. "Oh…" She tepped forward and wrapped me in a hug. I felt awkward. "I'm so sorry, Miyuki," she said quietly.

"Th-Thanks." _Was… I supposed to hug her back?_ I wasn't exactly experienced in the hug department. Riku was my first hug in years, and Kairi's hug paled in comparison.

"Do you want to go get dinner?" she asked, smiling a little as she stepped back.

"Um. Yeah, after I put this in my room at the hotel."

We managed to get back to the mainland and to a restaurant without incident, though Xehanort kept heckling the conversation. Kairi was sweet; she didn't ask anymore questions, and did a fairly good job at keeping me entertained with stories about different events in town, even after dinner.

"One time," she laughed a little as we walked down main street, "when we were like, twelve, we had this show-and-tell thing in the cafeteria at school. We all thought it was really lame, but our whole class had to do it. So Tidus brought this giant bucket with a lid on the top. He didn't let anyone touch it at _all_. Then when he went to the front of all the tables, he starts this long, vague speech about mystery and the ocean. Then he rips off the lid, reaches into the bucket and yanks out a squid. This thing is squirming in his hands and slapping him in the face, and I swear, the entire front row was soaked in the squid's ink."

I laughed. "Nasty!"

"So he's got himself all tangled in its tentacles and the teacher's flipping out trying to get him free—Oh, this is your hotel." She giggled a little as we stopped in front of the door. "Such a lovely thought to leave you with, huh?" she remarked.

"Squid stories are _always_ lovely," I said with mock-solemnity.

"Oh, yes." She smiled. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Probably," I nodded.

She hugged me again. "Bye!" She waved as she walked away and I waved back, heading inside.

_It was really nice, her taking me to dinner. And all her stories were very distracting. It was nice to feel like a townie for a while._

It was like being around such positivity had stuffed other emotions down, and now that the fountain of optimism had disappeared, the other emotions were exploding.

_Alright, I want to know why. Why were _my_ parents taken away from me, while everyone else is happy? Why did _my_ parents have to disappear forever? It's not fair. And it's not fair that Riku has to be alone. I mean, after everything he's done, it's not right! He deserves someone to hang with! That King – King Mickey, right? He better be a good friend to Riku!_

I slammed my hotel door shut behind me.

"_Your parents were devoured by heartless before the world turned to darkness. Had they been consumed in the nothingness with the world itself, they'd have survived – but their individual bodies were defeated…"_

I stopped in the middle of my room, frozen, confused. "Did you just help me understand something?" I muttered incredulously.

"Understand_ that you are as weak as your parents, Miyuki. You are just as _helpless_ as they."_

"Knew it was too good to be true," I growled. I kicked off my shoes and sat on the bed, resting my elbows on my knees, head in my hands. _Dad… I _know_ you used to sense darkness. That's why you gave me that advice and shooed me into the bathroom. So did _you_ steal strength from _Mom_? Is this whole connected-heart thing hereditary? I don't know if you can hear me… I'm being stupid, talking to myself like this…_

I stood up and walked into my bathroom, stripping my clothes, putting the ring on the counter and climbing into the shower. _I need to wash off the stench of this stupid day._ I had intended to sing something off-key and try to remember each word exactly, to keep my mind occupied, but my mouth was shut and memories tripped through my mind.

"_Hey, Riku," I said as he entered the kitchen, blindfold over both eyes. "Late shower?" _

_I had to admit, if ever I was lucky to be woken up in the middle of the night, it was now. He had black sweatpants and no shirt, his hair sopping wet and clinging to his face and shoulders. He looked surprised to see me when he walked in, and his face went red._

"_Hi," he said slowly._

"_Hi," I snorted._

"_Don't tell me… You dreamt I throttled you?" he said pessimistically._

_I spoke with mock-disbelief. "Wait. You dreamt that you _throttled_ me?"_

"_Oh, shi—"_

"_I'm kidding," I smirked._

"…_You're messed up."_

"_You'll never get over the void your heart is wandering through,"_ Xehanort said. I glared at the shower wall for a long moment, not knowing how to respond. _"You'll never get over the pain you keep denying. If you'd embrace it, embrace the emptiness, the pain, the darkness, it would become so much easier for you. _So_ much easier."_

"I don't want the easy way out," I growled.

"_Oh? You don't want to be strong against your heartache?"_

I shook my head. _Just shut up._ I stepped out of the shower, dried off and put the ring back on my thumb, staring at my dirty clothes laying on the counter. _…I _do_ need new clothes…_ I pulled on my tank top and underwear, deciding to leave everything else off until I had to go somewhere the next day. I rubbed my hair with the towel, opening the door and froze.

Arms crossed, hair slicked back, golden eyes glowering at me, Xehanort stood not three feet from me.

"Holy shit," I whispered.

He smiled. "Darkness has eclipsed your heart, Miyuki."

"So much so that you took on a physical presence without Riku's body?" I whispered disbelievingly. "That doesn't make sense."

"Of course it does. I'm not only residing in his heart, but yours as well." He held one hand out towards me. "Do not fear darkness."

I stared at his hand a long moment, arching my eyebrow at it. I looked up at him. "What are you on, that you _really_ thought you'd persuade me to _hold your hand_?" I remarked.

He scowled. "Smart remarks will only make things more difficult."

"For you, maybe. Go screw yourself." I started to push him out of the way, but my arm didn't hit him. I tried again and watched my arm carefully – it passed right through his chest. I walked through him and sat on my bed, staring at the illusion as he turned and yelled profanity at me.

I slid under the covers and turned my back to him. "Be as loud as you want. I'm going to sleep."

Of course, falling asleep when someone's constantly yelling at you is like meditating when your foot's on fire. It took about an hour for me to drown out the noise and drift asleep, but I did.

_A short man steps off a train – a very short man – in an Organization XIII coat – no, it's a mouse. A very large, very human-like mouse._

"_Your Majesty. Is everything alright?" _

"_Yes, Riku. Everything's fine."_

"_Good. –Can you give this to Sora for me? If I gave it to him myself, I don't think he'd let me leave to do what I need to."_

_The mouse nods and takes a small pouch – the pouch that held the 5,000 munny Roxas lost. But now it holds that little gem he treasured so much. "I'm assuming you know Maleficent is back," the mouse says._

_A wave of angry familiarity. "I know."_

"_Well—Oops, they're coming."_

_Into the shadowy corner, cloaked in darkness. A moment of nostalgia – a craving for energy bars. Watching Sora, Donald and Goofy climb onto the train – Sora's crying. Hmph. Sora and his Nobody are sissies._

_Back at the mansion. DiZ is sitting in the library, staring out the window. _

"_So they've departed…" he mumbles._

_Being around DiZ forces words that sound way too formal. "I must be on my way, as well."_

"_See you soon…" he says absent-mindedly._

_The dark corridor opens for me and I'm not tired. I'm stronger, but it still isn't a fair trade._

_I stand in the middle of darkness. "What's that pet name your Mother had for you?" Xehanort asks, pacing in a circle around me._

"_Sweetie," I growl. I can barely speak – I can't move at all. I know the vines have a tight grip on me, and if I hold still, I won't be able to tell they're there._

"_No, no… It was a nickname… Kiki. That's it." He smiles. "Kiki… You know why your father was so easily taken by darkness?" I grit my teeth. "The strength your mother so often lent him returned to her just as she descended those stairs."_

_Words come more easily, now. "What's your point?_

_He grabs both my shoulders and leans his face towards mine, squeezing until circulation to my arms is cut off. "There is only so much two hearts can do against darkness."_

My eyes snap open and I stare at the alarm clock on the bedstand next to me. Four in the morning, and I was wide awake. I sat up and looked around for the hallucination that'd been tormenting me as I fell asleep – my moonlit room was empty. I walked into the bathroom and pulled on my clothes. They were dirty, but I had to go do something with my newfound energy, and walking around in my underwear wasn't a good idea.

Oddly enough, absolutely everything was silent as I slipped out the door and out of the inn. The clock wasn't ticking in the lobby, there was no rustle of stray cats in trash cans when I stepped onto the street – not even Xehanort was interrupting my thoughts.

I crossed my arms against the cool night air, tucking my hair behind my ears.

_I saw some of his memories again… I wonder why that's happening? Is his heart trying to compensate for all the strength he's taking back? It seems like DiZ's theory was _too_ correct – I gave so much strength that now I'm back to being extra vulnerable to darkness. And it doesn't look like Riku's going to come waltzing in any time soon._

I realized I was automatically walking towards the island and halted.

_Do I really want to back there _again_? …Yes._ I started walked again. _I don't know why I sleep at the inn, I practically live at the beach anyway._

I couldn't keep that dream from so long ago out of my mind.

_I start at the expression on his face – it's not the smile I'm familiar with. Not the faint smile that seems to recollect his true disposition. It's more cruel, more malicious. His eyes aren't that bright teal, either – they're yellow, bright yellow. He stands up quickly, grabs my throat and flashes to the path by the rock wall, slamming me against it._

"_Goodnight, Miyuki."_

_My head is bleeding and I grab his hand with both of mine. I feel cold – absolutely frozen. The golden eyes flicker and blur – as if he's a watercolor and someone's wiped water across his eyes. His mouth moves as if he's trying to explain something – I can't breathe, I can't hear, my head swims._

I clamber into the boat, already sick of rowing, my head spinning with all my thoughts.

_I'm definitely sleeping at the island tonight… If I _can_ fall back asleep. I don't know if I can handle closing my eyes after remembering that dream, and… well, missing Riku. Damn it. Why am I such a loser all of a sudden? When I was on my own, I never missed anyone! I was fine! Now I'm all soppy and nostalgic all the time! It's dumb!_

I don't bother with trying to climb onto the dock once I reach the island, I just jump into the waist-deep water and trace the surface with my fingertips for a moment. It's lukewarm and crystal clear, the moon reflected across the ripples I was making. I swallow.

_Dad gave his strength to Mom before she went down those stairs. That's how he was able to tell the heartless were coming. That's why he sent me to the bathroom. _

_He gave his strength to her…_

I thought on that a long moment.

_Does that mean he could control it?_

**I feel like this is too short for the amount of time it took me to write it… 'X| But you're reading this, so that means you think it's worth your time (or just a better way to kill time than playing the end of Kingdom Hearts 2, where you fight alongside Riku, for the millionth time). Either way, eighty thousand thank you's for sticking with me! ^^**


	48. Chapter 48 New Favorite Game

**So I realized I wrote "started walked" in that last chapter… I also randomly switched to present-tense dictation… What even…? My writing skills are just monumental. **

I sloshed out of the water onto the shore, the gears in my head whirring at full speed, mumbling quietly to myself.

"If he could control the strength between their hearts… If they could _both_ control it… How would that work? How would either of them even _begin_ to learn…?"

I pushed my hair out of my face and crossed my arms, a breeze kicking up and sending chills up my spine. I shivered and wagged my head, trying to shake off the coldness.

"This is probably stupid. This is probably just me grasping at straws…" I was pacing across the shore now, looking around, a new sort of energy stirring up in me – an energy I didn't quite recognize.

"You're right," a deep, cold voice said. I stopped in my tracks and looked over at Xehanort, who was having fun playing with illusions again. He was standing beside me, smiling eerily at me. "Your theories aren't even as stable as the madman's. You don't even have an inch of science to support them."

I grit my teeth, trying to think of a clever response. Nothing came to mind. "…No. I _don't_ have anything to back them up." I walked more slowly now, rubbing the back of my neck, staring at my shoes. "These ideas don't make any sense."

"None."

"Except…" I glared at Xehanort. "…It _does_ explain a few things about my parents."

"That doesn't mean it applies to _you_," he said quickly.

I swallowed. "I just miss him. I miss him so much I'm trying to think of ways to get back to him."

"Such a powerless girl, waiting for her hero to return home…" He watched me carefully, analyzing, tantalizing.

I stopped and stared at him a moment. "…But it doesn't matter _why_ theories are thought of. It just matters whether or not they're true. And actually, what's a better reason to think of a theory than l-loving someone?" Tripping on that word made me feel stupid, but I couldn't stop myself now. I was on a roll, and I had to keep it going. "Maybe I miss him because I _should_ be with him. If I wasn't meant to be with him, I'd hate his guts. So maybe this is my heart trying to tell me something – maybe this is _his_ heart trying to tell me something."

Xehanort snorted. "What a lovely fairy-tale you've invented, Kiki."

"I'm too busy to deal with you right now." I started pacing again. "But how… How would I control the strength? I can't let him get all weak-kneed like that again. I'm not going back unless I _know_ I won't hinder him." Suddenly a memory that _was_ my own flashed through my head.

"_So train your heart!"_

"_How?" He turned his eyes to me and we stared at each other for a long moment._

"_I don't know," I said, glancing away before smiling at him weakly. "You dealt with darkness for so long… One would think you're stronger than everyone else…" A breeze twisted around us and I shivered, goose bumps prickling on my skin. I scooted myself closer to him, my arm side-by-side with his. "I have a theory," I said._

_He snorted. "Okay, DiZ, what theory?"_

"_I'll bet that you've been training the wrong part of your heart."_

_He stared at me a long moment. "What exactly do you mean?"_

"_I mean you don't just use your right leg to walk, right? Right. You use both. So maybe you've been excersizing the right side of your heart while your left side's just sitting there like, 'Hey, man, I'm gonna watch TV and eat Doritos'."_

"_That… makes sense. I guess."_

_I nodded. "So you've got to excersize the left part of your heart."_

"_Yes, but how?"_

"_Well…" I stared at my lap again. "You've dealt with being lonely for a very long time. Maybe it's time to deal with being with someone. …If that makes sense."_

"Alright, okay, deal with being with someone. What does that entail?" I growled, ready to rip my hair out in frustration. I wiped my face with both hands and saw Xehanort staring at me. "You!" I shouted pointing at him. "_You_ tell me! You know everything else! Tell me how to control my heart's strength!"

His lips slowly curved into a wicked grin.

I rolled my eyes. "_Not_ by using darkness, you twat!" I shouted, kicking a lump of sand. "For the love of Pete! Don't you know how to use anything else? You ramble on and on about my parents' hearts and how _inferior_ everyone is to you and your arrogant _godliness_, and the _one time_ I ask for a little advice, you just give me the broken record response! 'Give into darkness, give into darkness!' Well guess what?" I stepped forward in my frenzied state, intending to grip the front of his shirt and get in his face – however, I just tripped on the soggy hem of my pants and fell through the illusion, barely catching myself with my hands. Now my wrists and knees were sore because they'd dug to the ground beneath the sand, my throat hurt from all my screaming, and my palms were bleeding a little.

"_Go to hell_!" I screeched, clutching my right hand into a fist and punching the ground. It reminded me of Riku's reaction to my departure, and the frustration of not knowing how to get back to him was pumping through my veins like some kind of bizarre drug.

I stood up and stumbled to the waterfall, hoping to get the sand off my clothes and possibly clean my palms. The hallucination Xehanort conjured up had gone, and I heard him whisper in my ear for what I hoped was the last time.

"_I'm already there."_

I sat on the edge of the pool beneath the waterfall, soaking my hands in the freshwater, hanging my head.

"I don't know," I whispered. "I don't know how my parents managed to control this bizarre heart thing… I don't know what to do in this stupid little world… I don't know why I cry so easily now… Well, that, I do know. I need to snap out of it. You're just some person. Some person on another world…" I covered my eyes with both hands. "…that I can't stop thinking about." I splashed my face with water. "I'm pathetic."

"_For… For all intents and purposes…" I cleared my throat, my face going red. "I, uh…"_

"_I love you, too," he said, smiling._

I shook my head. "_Why_ can't I figure out a good way to find you?" I hissed. "I want to see you so badly. So _why_ can't I figure this out?" I clutched my head with both hands. _Think. I gotta think about this._

I walked around the island a little more, trying to work out details in my head – apparently the energy in my body wasn't transferring to my brain – and found myself beneath the bridge again.

_When I suggested that you excersize the left side of your heart by dealing with being with someone, I hoped you'd be with _me_. I hoped I'd be the one to help you… but here I am, staring at the ground… Useless…_

_Dad… How did you do it? Giving Mom your strength... what was that like?_

I sat in the sand against a wall of rock, staring at a small group of trees and an elevated bridge – beneath which sat a small raft, the sail collapsed beside it.

_I need Dad's memories instead of Riku's. Then I'd actually know what to do with myself…_

I pushed my hair out of my face and crossed my arms. _Why do I have to miss everyone all the time? Why can't I be happy with what I have? I'm alive, aren't I? I'm alive. And eating well. I have pleasant company. _My thoughts turned to Xehanort. _–Er. Most of the time, anyway._ I settled myself between the rock and sand, just barely comfortable enough to drift off.

"_Ignorant child,"_ were the words hissed into my ear just as I slid out of consciousness,_ "You know nothing of this boy you claim to 'love'."_

_I reach over and pull the sleeve of her hoodie until it unwraps from her waist. I shake it out and put it over her shoulders. "You can't even tell when you need a jacket," I say. "Your judgement is obviously impaired."_

"_Oh?" she scoffs. "Impaired by what, exactly?"_

"_You haven't been in your right mind since I took my jacket off, and you know it," I smirk. _

_She shakes her head. "I walked right into that one." _

_Through the blindfold, I think I see her face turning pink, even though the only thing lighting the street is moonlight. Ha. I can make her blush. "Further proof your judgement's impaired," I say, and her face goes a little redder. New favorite game._

"_Normally this is where you say 'shut up and smack me' or something dismissive and violent like that." She grabs Nemo's arm and tugs, the spoiled little thing clambering to the ground and grabbing her pant leg dedicatedly. "Do you want to talk about something?" she asks._

"_You know yourself," I say quietly. "You know what's best for you when you see it. Or… maybe not." I can't tell her she's being stupid, hanging around me… I can't tell her to leave…_

_She arched an eyebrow. "Explain."_

"_Never mind." I thumb behind himself and a huge heartless springs from the ground, towering at least thirty feet into the air. Her jaw slides down, and she gapes openmouthed at it. "That's called a darkside. Each person's is different – and I finally know you well enough that I can summon yours," I say._

_She smiles a little. "I'm _this_ powerful?"_

_I smirk. "I don't know. Can you beat it?"_

_She shoots me a look. "You're cheating, changing the subject like this," she says._

"_It's ready to strike," I say, grabbing Nemo's arm and leaning against the wall of the mansion. "Better keep your eyes open." _

"_Hiya, handsome," she says, keeping a straight face. I don't know how she can speak with such nonchalance. We both know the darkness is creeping into her heart, and now that I've let Xehanort have possession of my body…_

_I smile faintly, trying to keep her optimism up. "Don't tell me you like this version of me better?"_

_She clears her throat, breathing deeply. "I wouldn't give a shit if your face was covered in sores and boils. I mean, I'd suggest getting some kind of ointment… But I like you for your heart."_

"_I hope so, you're sort of attached to it," I smirk._

_She smiles. "You're still Riku. We both know that. It's sort of nice to see both of your eyes, at least."_

_I nod. "It's sort of nice to look at you without a blindfold in the way." More than nice. Mentally undressing her… New favorite game._

"_I hope it doesn't impair your judgement," she smirks, her words getting shorter, breathier._

_Oh shit, did she hear about me undress—? No, no, that's dumb. Of course she didn't. I snort, half at myself, smiling, pulling myself back to what she said. "It's a bit late for that."_

_Her smirk melts into an awkward sort of smile, and I wonder if I've disturbed her. Damn it… It figures. I really like her, and I screw it up. –Wait. Her eyes widen a little and she looks away quickly. She inhales deeply, but doesn't look satisfied._

"_Oh, shit. You're being effected by this form, aren't you?" I stare at her for a long moment. I can give her her strength back, right? I can do that, can't I? I taught my heart to store up strength – I can teach it to give it away. I shift my weight towards her. Don't think about it. I always _think_ about things so much I can't do them. I raise one hand to her – is it working?_

"_I'm okay," she turns her head back to me. I snap my hand to my side again, and she wobbles a little. "Er… I think."_

_She's definitely not okay. "Miyuki—"_

_A dark corridor appears at my left and DiZ steps through, staring at Roxas with an unemotional eye. I turn and pull my hood up before DiZ sees my._

"_Miyuki?" My eyebrows knit. "Are you alright?"_

_She shakes her head, looking down. "I… I can't…"_

"_Sit down." I grab her arms and lower her to the bed. She's reacting to my darkness. "Take a deep breath."_

"_I can't!" she spits, blinking hard. She sways – I hold her upright, but her head drops to her chest._

"_Miyuki? Miyuki?" I push her hair out of her face, leaning to see if her eyes were shut. They were. "No… Shit… No…" Can I give her my strength? I know it's tainted – I know it might hurry the darkness in her heart – but she's fighting it off right now, and might not be strong enough to handle it. I grip her hand in mine, still trying to hold her upright by her shoulder. She isn't breathing. "Come on. Don't give into darkness." I run through all the spells I know – nothing even comes close to pawning off my strength. _

_I lean my forehead against hers, shutting my eyes. "I don't know what to do! I don't know! Just take it, alright? Take my strength! Let me pay you back!"_

_An odd warmth spreads through my hand holding hers. My eyes open and I stare at our hands for a long moment. "What… the hell…?" I think I see something – like the light coming from your skin when you cast Cure, only the light is red. I don't even know if I really saw it. It was probably just my eyes playing a trick on me… But now she's breathing._

My eyes opened, squinting in the sunlight.

"You're something else, Miyuki!" Kairi remarked brightly, holding a dark red leather messenger bag out towards me. "I can't believe you managed to get yourself to the island." I took the bag and looked inside, half-asleep and cranky. "You tied that boat to the tree, for Pete's sake," she giggled. I pulled out my dad's sketchbook and looked up at her quizzically. She held one hand out to me, arching an eyebrow. "You gonna sit there all day, or help me get things done, Miss Freeloader?"

My eyebrows popped up at her. "Big talk for someone who got into my hotel room and took my stuff from it!"

"It's called being helpful. You come here all the time, I figured you'd want to just stay here for the time being." She walked towards the little shack by the bridge.

I stood up and slung the bag over my shoulder, tucking the sketchbook back inside it. "Well thanks for bringing it," I called out to her, following some twenty feet behind. "Even if you did break and enter," I muttered.

"Heard that!" she shouted, opening the door and leaning on the outside wall, crossing her arms and watching me as I stomped up the steps to her. She smiled. "I made a room for you," she tweaked her head to the side to gesture inside the shack.

I stared at her a moment. "Are you hitting on me?" I muttered.

I suddenly remembered sitting in my room in the dark, listening to Orlando.

"_I don't remember anything about the mansion. You know what's beyond that door as well as I do," Orlando said._

"_That's a bathroom," the first voice said dully._

"_Are you hitting on me?"_

She laughed. "Not hardly! You're a real beam of sunshine in the morning, you know that?" she smirked.

I smiled a little. "Yeah, I'm dandy." I walked into the shack and looked around. She really _had_ turned it into a nice little room – there was a bed, a table and two chairs, and a lantern hung from the ceiling. But it wasn't what I was thinking about as I stood there that long moment.

_So… Riku gave me his strength? The uneven ebb and flow of darkness was caused by him. My heart took too much from his over time, and he couldn't reverse what he'd done, so the only way to slow it down was me leaving._

"_Perhaps he knew how to reverse it – he simply wanted to be apart,"_ the icy voice hisses in my ear.

_No. I know him. I know he wouldn't play me._

"_Unless he's been playing you this whole time."_

_He hasn't. He's been honest. I've seen him _cry_. There's no way… No way…_

"So what do you think?" Kairi asked, sunlight pouring in over her shoulders as she stood in the door way.

My eyes snapped up to hers. "I've got to find him."

She pursed her lips for a long moment, saying nothing. She glanced at the floor, then back up at me. "I've tried _everything_. There's no way we can get to them now, Miyuki."

_Ah… How do I say this?_ "I'm… I throw a different spin on things," I said, trying not to sound arrogant.

She shook her head and turned to walk away. I just stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do or say. Before walking down the steps, she turned to face me again, arms crossed tight against her chest.

"I did everything I could and it wasn't enough." She swallowed. "So what does it mean if you somehow get to Riku? What's it supposed to mean? Am I just not dedicated enough? What am I doing wrong, that you found Riku when I couldn't find Sora?" She swallowed hard and we stared at each other a long moment. "I'm sorry. I'm…" She looked down, stepping back towards the stairs. "I'm being selfish." She turned and walked down the steps onto the shore, headed towards the other side of the island.

I stood there, shoulders slumped, squinting through the sunlight at the tiny figure disappearing down the shore.

I took a deep breath. "That… wasn't the reaction I expected."


	49. Chapter 49 Hello

**No offense to anyone with a southern accent.**

I wiped my face with one hand, sitting on the edge of the bed in the shack. "How in the world am I going to do this?" _I don't even know where he is, much less how to get there._ _So I basically upset Kairi for nothing…_

_No, I didn't. I _am_ going to find Riku. I don't know how, but it's going to happen. If he gave me his strength, and it snowballed into something so huge that I had to leave, he blames himself for my leaving. And he needs to know that's not true._

"_Isn't it?"_

_Oh shut up, you stupid pig-faced twat!_

"_Call me whatever you like – it won't change the fact that this separation is, essentially, Riku's fault."_

I took a deep breath, hands clenching into fists as they rested in my lap. _Alright, so what if it _is_ his fault? What does it matter? It doesn't._

"_All he ever does is make himself feel guilty over you. How can you be sure he's not relieved to be away from you?"_

I stood up and rubbed the back of my neck. "I need to do something to distract myself from you," I muttered. I walked towards the door and stopped. Kairi was out there somewhere, probably still fuming. _Maybe sitting out at that tree is a better idea for now…_ I turned towards the stairs and saw Xehanort standing there, arms crossed, a glare fixed on me.

"You're a burden to him – you always have been. When you first met him, he had to carry you through the dark corridor!" he scoffed.

I arched an eyebrow at him. "Whatever." Not thinking about how he was an illusion, I reached forward to push him out of the way as I started up the stairs. I froze before I reached the first step – my hand was resting on his arm. I could feel his freezing skin against the palm of my hand.

He smiled. "Surprise."

I grit my teeth and stepped away. "No." I gripped the strap of my bag with both hands. "This… This is just in my head."

"You hope." He stepped towards me, gesturing to me casually. "Don't try to change the subject. Dearest Miyuki, that boy is _relieved_ to be on his own. You were just extra baggage – something he had to look after instead of something that assisted him."

I swallowed. "No…" _Well… I wasn't much help at all, most of the time…_ "…F-Fine. You have a point there."

"He never really needed you."

I shook my head. "Just shut up. You were right once, isn't that enough for you?"

"Don't kid yourself. You know I'm correct when I say he doesn't need you."

_No. I'm tired of hearing this._ I stepped forward and gripped the front of Xehanort's coat, pulling him towards me. "_What_ do you _want_ from me?" I growled.

"I just want to keep your eyes open to the truth. Riku's never needed you."

"If you think you're making me want darkness, you're _wrong_!" I spat.

He smiled. "Oh, you'll want darkness soon enough."

"Shut up!" I shook him, my voice cracking. "Shut up, shut _up_! You do this every damn day! Why do you wreck _everything_?"

"You think giving into darkness is an option. In reality, it is an inevitability." He gripped the back of my neck and I slammed my knee into his crotch, shoving him away. He stumbled back, somewhat unaffected by the blow. "Idiot girl."

"Cowardly liar."

"I'll never show you where he is if you keep _this_ behavior up."

My eyes widened. "Y-You know…?" _Of course he knows! He was originally possessing Riku! Why wouldn't he know?_ "Tell me! Tell me where he is!"

"No… I don't think it would be prudent." He straightened up and stared at me with contempt.

"What's _prudent_ is to tell me where the hell Riku is before I rip your head off!"

He sneered. "I'd like to see you try."

I shook my head, gritting my teeth. "You'll never tell me. You'll never give me one inch."

"Darkness will have its way with you. You're foolish to think postponing it with bullheadedness will stop it."

I pushed my hair back with one hand, both hands clenching into fists as it fell to my side. _I hate you so much. So, so much._ "Get away from me." I started to walk out to the shore, but he got between me and the door. I glared at him for a long moment before speaking. "You don't _listen_ very well."

"You're the one who isn't listening, Miyuki."

"You have _nothing_ new to say!"

"Oh? You're not surprised to hear that your hero is on his last leg?"

My eyes widened. "What?"

He seemed to speak slowly. "If you would adopt darkness into your heart, use it to your advantage, you'd have _known_ about his injuries."

I slammed my hand against his throat, shoving him against the door, tears welling up in my eyes. "_Tell me_."

"You're just—"

I dug my fingers into his neck, feeling cold liquid gather at my fingertips. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered at my ability to make him bleed. "_Where_?"

He gripped my shoulders with both hands, lifting me off the ground and throwing me across the shack. My body crumpled against the wall opposite him, and I could feel blood trickle down my neck and lip. I didn't know what parts of me were bleeding and I really didn't care. I stood up, panting, wiping the blood off my chin with the back of my hand.

Xehanort said something – I saw his lips move and heard his voice – but the words escaped me. I didn't know what he said, or what he was doing as he just stood there watching me. I didn't know what _I_ was doing – but my hand was freezing, wavering in the air, stretched out at my side – and a dark corridor had opened. I felt myself being moved to it – not physically forced, but as I walked through the sheet of cool darkness, stepping across the swirling colors, it was as if I was being drawn through it. Like some subconscious will was pushing me through it all.

Part of me was screaming to stop and think about what I was doing – but I was too determined to find what this path led to. Hands clenched into fists at my side, I stepped through the cool sheet of darkness, shuddering with the drop in temperature. The ground beneath my feet crunched, wet snow soaked through my converse, and I blinked a few times to realize I was on a plateau, staring down a mountainside.

I took a deep breath and stepped back. _So, so high up… Oh god… _I turned to hike closer to the face of the mountain and stopped abruptly at what I saw.

A boy with spikey brown hair was slamming a keyblade down towards the head of an Organization member – or at least, someone wearing the coat. A duck and a dog stood a little behind, wavering uncertainly, as if unsure whether or not to interfere.

_I… I don't know that it's Riku. I need to wait and watch._

I took a step forward – this scene was playing out some fifty feet ahead, and no one was paying attention to me.

The bat wing of a sword flew up, blocking the keyblade before it crashed into the man's head. My heart leapt. _You used that when you stepped in the way of my Thunder spell._ I ran towards them, scrambling to reach them through the snow.

"Ri—!"

I clapped my hand to my mouth. _Idiot! Riku doesn't want Sora knowing it's him, and how am I going to explain myself? But Xehanort said Riku was on his last leg – which must be true, if he's resorting to using that sword…_

I froze in place – not far from literally, considering it was _seriously_ cold – and prayed to every god I could think of that none of them would hear me.

These prayers went unanswered, as I saw the black hood turn and felt Riku's eyes fix on me.

"Hello," I mouthed.

Riku shoved Sora off of him and vanished. All at once, I felt a hand seize me roughly by the arm and was now standing in a rocky nook; a sort of dent in the mountain, if you will. I stared at the shade beneath the hood as he gripped both my arms in his hands.

His words were breathy and unsteady – Sora must've gotten a few good shots in. "_Why_ are you bleeding?" His voice was so fervent, so warm, I thought I might actually be able to feel my toes again. I felt my face get hot and was about to reply when he wrapped his right hand around the back of my head, gently pulling me towards him. "Curaga."

I stepped towards him, leaning my head against his shoulder. "Back at you." I put my right hand on his chest. _Curaga._

For a long moment, we stood there in silence, my fingers trembling as they felt his heartbeat, my face burning against his shoulder. I was afraid to move, afraid this was a dream I'd wake up from and glare at Kairi for interrupting.

"What are you doing here?" he breathed.

"I hear this is where all the cool kids go on vacation," I mumbled. I felt cloth brush against my face and warm skin meet my neck, breath spilling over my shoulder.

"S-So… How's Naminé?" I asked.

"With Axel. She's safe."

"How about Orlando?"

"Hiding out in Halloween Town."

"And DiZ?"

He stepped back slowly, dropping his hands from me and crossing his arms. "I really don't know what he's up to right now."

"Oh." I nodded, shoving my hands in my pockets and staring at my feet.

"How's Kairi?"

I shrugged. "She's probably mad at me."

"What? Why?"

"I found you when she couldn't find Sora." He didn't reply. "Well at least let me see your face." I reached up and pushed his hood back. Long silver hair framed his pale face, a black blindfold the only thing to disgruntle my pounding heart. "Oh, _come on_. Why the mask, Batman?" I groaned.

He smiled very faintly. "On the off chance I'm seen, I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea and chopping off Xehanort's head." _I never thought of that. What if I don't see him as himself without the blindfold?_ His smile disappeared. "I have so many questions right now… And," he snorted, "I'm terrified to hear the answers."

"I'll do my best not to scare you," I said quietly.

"Tell me… _Please_ tell me this isn't just a visit."

"Nah, you're stuck with me."

"Why is it suddenly alright for you to be so close?"

"Because you, in all your idiocy, didn't _tell_ me that _you_ were the one who lent me your strength in the first place."

"_What_?"

"I was having some sort of fit of darkness when you surrendered your body back to Xehanort, and you sat me on my bed, and did some weird magic trick and gave me your strength. It's your fault I left!"

He shook his head slowly, staring down. "Miyuki…" he began, voice strained, but I cut him off.

"I left because you didn't _tell_ me I could will my heart's strength to go back to you!"

His head snapped up and I could tell he was making eye contact with me through the blindfold. "Wait. How do you know—?"

"You're not as subtle as you think, Batman. I'm pretty sure you were sharing your memories with me."

His eyebrows knit. "That's…" He cleared his throat. "Which memories?"

I started counting on my fingers. "Giving King Mickey the munny pouch, watching Sora get on the train – Sora's not a sissy, by the way—"

"Yes, he is."

"Oh, so if you were never going to see your other half's friends again, you wouldn't be sad?"

He shrugged. "I don't give a rip about your friends."

I stared at him a moment, my face going even redder. _I don't even know how to respond to that…_ "I also know your favorite game," I snapped.

His face went red, now. "What do you mean?"

"Like you don't know!" I punched him in the shoulder.

"Oh, gimme a break! You saw me shirtless countless times, and I can't even _think_—?"

"Pervert!"

"Hypocrite!"

"Liar!"

"Liar? How am I a liar?"

"You could've _told_ me it was possible to give someone your strength!"

"I wasn't even sure _I_ did it! What was I supposed to say, Miyuki? 'Don't go, there's some weird glowing thing you can do that'll fix this problem'? Like you'd have believed that. –And hey, that isn't even a lie! That's withholding information."

"Information withholder."

"Ooh, don't know how I'll get over _that_ one," he said sarcastically. "So what – you're telling me you know how to give my strength back if you steal it again?"

"For one thing, we don't even know if my heart _will_ steal from yours again. I mean you gave it to me in the first place and it ran with it – but it might not do that without provocation."

"And if it does, what will you do?"

"Give it back," I said determinedly.

"How do you know you _can_?"

"Anything you can do, I can do better."

"Yeah, right! You can't take your darkside out _nearly_ as quickly as I can!"

"That's cause I actually _fight_ it. You just snap your fingers and it's rolling over, begging for a treat. 'Play dead, Darkside!'"

He smirked. "Are you saying there's a side of you that'll do whatever I want?"

I glared at him. "Let's put an end to the fantasy right there, thanks."

He stepped towards me casually, decreasing the distance between us to about a foot. "How'd you get here, anyway?"

I swallowed. _Here comes the sticky part._ "Dark corridor."

"I repeat my last query."

"I don't know." I looked down, rubbing the back of my neck with my right hand. "Xehanort… He's gotten so obnoxious that I started seeing him like a physical presence. I even fought with him…" I shook my head. "I don't know if it was a hallucination… But he was pretty obnoxious. Then he said you were hurt, and on your last leg, and I sort of snapped. I just… A dark corridor just sort of opened, and I automatically walked through, and here I am." I shrugged, smiling weakly up at him.

"On my last leg? He said that?"

"Well I mean it was laced with 'idiot girl's and 'foolish child's, but I didn't think you'd want the details."

He snorted. "No, I can fill them in myself."

"So why are you slumming it in the boondocks?" I asked. "Wanted to test Sora's strength?"

"No. That was completely unintentional."

I stared at him a minute. "Why _are_ you avoiding Sora?"

"I'm not avoiding him," he scoffed.

"Now you _are_ lying. He had no idea who you were! Why didn't you tell him?"

He looked around the crevice for a long moment before landing his eye back on me. "I'm not myself."

"So who did I fall for?" I said dramatically, arching an eyebrow at him.

"I look like the guy he spent hours eliminating."

"So it'll be _really_ fun waking him up in the morning."

"I'll be the guy who can't get ahold of his own heart while Sora goes around fixing everyone's problems. I'm not doing that."

My mouth turned into an 'o', and my mouth curved up into an amused grin. "Ohhh. _You_ are too _proud_ to talk to him!"

"Like you'd get it!" He pulled his hood back up and walked out onto the mountain path, hands in fists at his sides.

"Don't try to end this conversation!" I laughed hollowly, trudging through the snow a foot or two behind him. "You're like that guy who won't go to his 30th High School Reunion 'cause he doesn't have a Rols Royce!"

"Shut up, Miyuki!" he said.

"Like that's gonna work on me!" I ran up beside him, catching his arm in mine. "Well." I pretended to fix my hair with my free hand, speaking like a Southern Belle. "I'll just buy me a fancy lil' skirt, do my hair up real nice, an' we'll show Sora who's got the prettier trophy wife."

"Get off of me, you wack job!" He pushed my arm off of his, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"You're as vain as a friggin' peacock sometimes, you know that?" I remarked, looking at him from the corner of my eye.

"Oh-ho, _there's_ the pot calling the kettle black," he snorted. I stared at him, smiling, waiting for him to look back at me. "Did I mention how glad I am to have you back?" he asked quietly, and I shook my head. He reached over and took my hand, looking back at the path ahead. "Well, I'm glad."

"Me, too." _Even if I can't feel my toes._


	50. Chapter 50 Dragons & Demons & Romans

**Fiftieth chapter! I HAD NO IDEA I'D MAKE IT THIS FAR! I love you all for making it here with me. *tears of joy***

**And holy crap, this is so much longer than I thought *-***

I was trying desperately to ignore the lack of feeling in my toes as Riku transported us closer and closer to the Palace, walking about ten feet in between the teleportations. His fingers were locked around mine, his hood pulled up, his body language tense. When I asked where we were headed, he seemed to remember that he was here for a specific purpose – one he hadn't bothered to clarify yet.

"So _why_ do we need to see the Emperor so badly?" I asked, being tugged along a little ways behind him.

"Xigbar made a dragon heartless that's gonna be a real bitch to take out," he said in a blank tone.

"Xigbar…?"

"Second member of the Organization."

"Oh, right." After the ten feet we'd covered on foot, he teleported us further up the street. "Can't you just talk it down or something?"

"What do you mean?" He turned his head towards me.

"You're basically the King of Heartless. Darkness is your best buddy. Nemo was a really good pet."

He snorted, looking ahead again. "Orlando can be talked into anything, heartless or not."

I ignored that. "So why can't you just tell Xigbar's dragon to back off?"

"It's not a pureblood. It's just got darkness infused into it – I can only control darkness itself. And even then, I can't control it completely," he added quietly. We now walked up to the courtyard of the Palace, and Riku halted in front of me, resulting in me slamming into him and pinching his arm.

"What gives?" I muttered, peeking over his shoulder to see a man standing in the middle of the courtyard, hand on his sword, helmet under his arm. He had black hair pulled back into a bun, a red cape floating behind him dramatically as he approached us.

"You," he said darkly.

"You?" I whispered to Riku.

"I think he thinks I'm Xigbar," he replied just as quietly.

"Who _is_ he?"

"The general of the Chinese Army."

"What business do you have here?" the general demanded.

"We're here to warn the Emperor of a great danger," Riku said.

"'Great danger'?" I echoed amusedly.

"When in Rome, speak like the Romans," he muttered in response.

"I thought this was China…"

The general was now about fifteen feet from us, and we were barely in the courtyard. "I'll be happy to relay the message for you," he said coldly.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to tell him myself."

I stared at Riku a minute, a little confused. _But why not tell…? Well. No. This guy'd probably play it down and make Riku out to be the threat. That wouldn't work._ I looked back at the general, whose eyes shifted to mine.

"You, boy. Step out where I can see you."

I glared at him and walked out to Riku's left, crossing my arms. "I'm a _woman_." _I'm going to hit this guy._

"Wearing men's clothes?" he said, a little shocked.

"I hear one of your soldiers isn't too different from my comrade," Riku remarked. "If you'll be so kind as to allow us to speak with the Em—"

"I will not allow you into the Palace."

Riku exhaled sharply, stepping forward. "I don't have time for this, so I'll ask one more time. _Please_, let us into the Palace. We _must_ warn the Emperor."

'_Be so kind.' 'Must.' I think DiZ would be impressed at your vocabulary. He'd probably reward you with a glass of wine or something._ "'Ey, Riku. Let's just transport," I hissed.

"I don't want to raise suspicion, and I can't see the inside of the Palace," he hissed back.

"So? Just take us to the other side of the court—!"

The general drew his sword. "I will _not_ let you in to see the Emperor."

He stepped forward, swinging the blade towards Riku's side. I jumped to my left to get out of the way and Riku leaned down, dodging the sword and gripping the wrist the man was holding his sword with. Riku bent the man's arm up into the air, slamming his free fist into the man's stomach. The general slammed his knee into Riku's gut, breaking the grip Riku had on him and kicking him a second time. Riku stumbled back, catching his breath.

The general pursued him, swinging the blade down towards Riku's head. Riku did a dodge roll and ended up behind the man, pivoting on his right foot to swing his left leg around and kick the man in the side. Surprisingly, the general turned around and caught Riku's shin with the blade of the sword. I ran forward as the man sliced Riku's leg and bent down to cut his side.

Just as his arms started to swing in the direction of Riku's torso, I hooked my left foot around the side of his face and he fell to his right, tumbling onto his hands and knees. I grabbed the sword and chucked it across the coutyard, stepping back as tears welled up in my eyes. My foot was throbbing and aching from the cold, and from kicking the general in the head.

"Holy mother of a sturgeon!" I spat.

"What's wrong?" Riku asked.

"I'll be fine!" I said, fixing my eyes on his leg and he pool of blood beneath it. I pointed at him and cast Curaga. "Go talk to the Emperor! I'll keep an eye on our friend here."

Riku nodded sharply and was suddenly at the other side of the courtyard, heaving open the door to slide inside.

The general hooked one arm around my leg and pulled – I hopped forward, unable to wriggle my leg out of his grip, and he reached up with his free hand, snagging the sleeve of my hoodie and pulling me down. He let go of my leg and pressed a knife against my throat. I glared at him.

"Figures," I muttered, and poked his chest with one finger. _Thundaga._ He jolted back and I snatched the dagger from his hand, jumping up as he tumbled onto his hands and knees again. "Lay on your stomach," I commanded, gently putting pressure on his back with my foot. He sort of wobbled from one hand to the other, lowering himself to the ground. I kept my right foot on his back and stared at the door to the Palace expectantly. I was getting so bored standing there I started counting down to when the doors would open.

"He's gonna walk out… right… _now_." Nothing. "Right… right… _now_!"

Just as I said that last word, the general rolled away from me onto his back, grabbing my foot and yanking so that I now dug my left foot into his side and had a sore bum. I wiggled my left foot away from him and started to slam it down onto his gut, but he caught it with his other hand and wriggled out from under me, grabbing the knife I'd knocked out of his hands earlier and running towards the Palace.

"No you don't!" I shouted, jumping up and booking it after him. He was weighted down with enough armor that he couldn't move as freely as I could. I had to jump a little to reach him as we ran, but I hooked my arm around his neck just as he raised his foot to head up the stairs.

We both tumbled backwards and I kept my arm tight around his neck, trying to roll over so I could breath easier. I felt something tear into my hand, trailing down my arm towards my elbow.

"_Augh_!" I shouted, slamming my free fist into the side of his head and unwrapping my now bleeding right arm from his neck. He twisted himself so that he now dug his left knee into my stomach, pressing the blade against my neck again.

"I am sorry," he said quietly.

A black hand now gripped the top of his head and yanked him backwards – I scrambled to get out from under him and, once standing, saw Riku pulling the general to his feet by his hair.

"Pin her down like that again, and you will be." He teleported the general and himself up to the door, shoving him in. "The Emperor wants you." He shut the door and looked over at me, who was standing there in surprise. "I thought you said you could handle him."

"I was about to knock him out," I said. I looked at my stinging arm and cast Curaga – with all the casting I'd done today, I was getting a little tired.

"You were about to be murdered," he scoffed, walking down towards the entrance of the courtyard, apparently finished with the Palace.

"You have _no_ faith in me, do you?" I said, staring at him indignantly as I walked on his right into the city.

"When you're trapped beneath some idiot with a knife at your throat, no, I have no faith in you."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"I'm not leaving you alone with anyone like that again."

"What, you're never going to give me space?" I snorted, arching an eyebrow at him. "I doubt it. We both like our alone time."

"I _meant_ that I'm not trusting you with an enemy again. If you couldn't even handle _that_ guy—"

"I was trying to do what you wanted and keep from using magic!"

"I'd rather you use magic than die!"

"I was _about_ to use magic, when you decided to play with the general's hair!"

He stopped, turned and reached across my torso, taking my right wrist in his hand. "And what about this giant gash on your arm? Are you a glutton for pain, or was the opening you gave him accidental?"

I grit my teeth. "You're pissing me off."

"I'm not leaving you alone with an enemy again."

"You're not in total control over me, contrary to what you may believe," I snapped, taking my wrist from him.

"I'm not trying to control you, I'm trying to keep you safe!"

"And I'm _telling_ you, I've managed to do that on my own for the past eight years! I've hunted down heartless, smashed in faces of muggers, and caused cries of pain from those who try to get handsy. I've also been dealing with _your_ demons for what feels like forever, without _any_ help from you whatsoever!"

"Well, great! Awesome! I'm so happy for you!" he said sarcastically.

"I don't need a guard dog, I need a _friend_!"

"Considering all the _demons_ I'm pawning off on you, I guess you're still looking, huh?" he shouted.

_Damn it! That wasn't what I meant!_ I crossed my aching arms and shook my head, looking down. "Riku—!"

"Hold on!" He gripped my elbow and we now stood in an alleyway further down the street – I guessed this was so that Sora didn't see us. "Did you just come here to bust my nuts? Because there's a lot going on, and I don't have time to deal with a guilt trip right now!"

"I wasn't trying to lay a guilt trip on you!" I said. "I was trying to tell you I can manage! You don't have to worry about me!"

"_Why_ aren't you getting this? It may be an insult your independence, but I'm scared shitless when I think about something happening to you! So yeah, I worry about you! And for the billionth time, I am _sorry_ Xehanort's weasled into your head like he has in mine! I didn't think I had to tell you _again_."

"You _don't_!"

"Then stop it with the guilt trip!"

"I _never_ meant to make you feel guilty! It's just that you—"

"'—I don't have to worry'," he finished, "but that doesn't change the fact that I _do_!"

"I'm just along for the ride, is what I mean! You don't have to make decisions based on me!"

"_Too late_!"

A long moment passed and I didn't know what to say. My face had gone red, my mind had gone blank, and all I wanted was to actually see his face, to see how he was reacting to this.

"Put down your hood, will you?" I whispered.

"So are you… are you saying I _shouldn't_ base any decisions on you?" he replied just as quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"I want to know what _you_ mean. I already… I mean… You're part of my life, right? Why _shouldn't_ you effect my decisions?"

I looked down, shifting uncomfortably. "I just… I'd feel like shit if I thought I was… I don't know, a burden, I guess…" _Xehanort got to me, damn it…_

Riku pushed the hood back, tilting his head to the side as little as he stared at me. "You've never been a burden." He stepped forward, snaking his hand around the back of my neck, kissing my forehead. "You've been obnoxious," he snorted. "Nosey… violent… arrogant, maybe… kind of annoying sometimes—"

I pinched his arm. "Jerk!" I shoved him back and peeked out around the corner of the alley, catching a glimpse of Sora. "Oh, look who it is." I grabbed Riku's arm and tried to tug him into the street with me, but now we stood in the alley behind Sora and his companions.

"Don't," Riku said darkly. "_Please_, Miyuki. Don't."

I stared at him blankly. "You really are _that_ determined not to let him see you while you look like this, aren't you?"

"What suggested otherwise?" he replied.

"I just thought a logical thought process might've penetrated this insanely proud notion of yours. Silly me."

"So much for just being along for the ride," he said.

"Wishful thinking on your part."

"Unfair teasing on yours."

"He would feel so much better if he just knew you were—"

"No, he'd want me to go around with him, and help him save the world, and I've still got Maleficent to worry about while he goes around locking the worlds."

I swallowed. "So she's that much of a problem?"

He shrugged, turning his head towards the entrance of the alley. A long pause passed.

_What's going through his head? He can't be too excited to see her again… He hasn't just been silent like that for a while… I mean… It's been a while since I've seen him, anyway, but…_

"Hey." I grabbed his hand and peeked into the street, checking to make sure Sora didn't see us – he was nowhere in sight. I smiled at Riku and wiggled my eyebrows. "I hear they have really good Chinese food here."

He snorted. "Very funny."

"What, aren't you hungry?"

He paused. "Yeah… Yeah, I am."

"_For more than garlic chicken, I imagine,"_ remarked an all too familiar, Arctic voice.

I shook my head. _Just when I thought I'd gotten rid of you._

"_Oh, don't you remember? I'm planted in both your hearts. I am a part of both of you. You'll never 'get rid' of me."_

_Wanna bet?_

"_Only if the stakes are high."_

_No, you can't have my 'virtue', Xehanort._

"_I was thinking more along the lines of your heart and soul."_

_Yeah, right. I can't bet something that's already involved in the game, moron._

"Are you listening?" Riku said, making me jump. I had zoned out so much I barely paid attention as we walked down the street.

"Of course not," I said, batting my eyes innocently at him. I realized his hand was tight around mine and his face was reddening with each moment.

"You're just doing this to embarrass me," he growled, looking straight ahead and pulling up his hood.

"What? No I'm not! I was spacing out! C'mon, what'd you say?"

"I said no one'll serve you if you're dressed like that."

I glared at him a moment before realizing he was right. _No one wants to serve a girl in men's clothes… I'll look extremely, er, dishonest._

"You'll have to buy my clothes for me," I consented.

He snorted loudly. "Are you kidding? Why?"

"'Cause just like no one'll serve me food, no one'll sell me a dress when I look like I'm wearing some bizarre dude's clothes."

"But I don't know what to get you!"

"Sure you do! My dress size is twelve."

"I'll get you something and you'll see it and be like, 'What the hell is that?'"

"Are you saying you don't want to see me in something sleek and sexy?"

"Like a robe that covers every inch of skin? Oh, _very _risqué. How will I contain myself?" he scoffed sarcastically.

"Just you keep those pants on, buddy," I said warningly. "Look, there's a dress shop now." I grabbed his arm and pushed him in front of me, hiding before anyone in the shop had a chance to see me. I was actually pretty surprised at the lack of people in the street – maybe one or two walked in and out of the buildings (none of which had shut doors, seeing as how they were all merchants), but none of them paid any mind to me and Riku. "Just go in and say 'I need a kimono for my sister's birthday!'"

"You're insane, I hope you know."

"I'm aware!" I shoved him forward and he walked in, shooting me a glare before he stepped through the open doorway. I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall, watching for anything interesting. A whole two seconds passed before Riku appeared at my side, holding a kimono up in my face. "What do you think of this?" he asked.

"What?"

It was bright green with black flowers embroidered on it – as far as I could see, anyway. It was wadded into a ball.

"Answer quickly."

"Um, er, nice colors?"

"Great." He vanished. A moment later, he was walking back into the street, bowing as he walked backwards towards me. He turned to me and shoved the clothes into my arms. "C'mon," he grumbled, taking my wrist, and we stood in the corner of an alley. He turned his back to me and a black wall materialized in front of him. We were now surrounded by two stone walls and wall of darkness. "I had to explain three times that you're my sister, your birthday is tonight, our Mom was too sick to come get your present and I would _not_ help you dress."

"Three times?"

"Three damn times."

"What kind of woman makes a boy promise not to help his size-twelve sister—?"

"Just get in the stupid thing already!"

My face turned bright red. "But you're right here!" I whispered frantically.

"I'm not looking, Miyuki. I swear."

"But you're still _right here_!" I hissed.

"Why are you whispering?"

"I don't know!" I said, my voice cracking as it returned to normal volume.

"No one can see you, Miyuki. Just change so we can go eat."

I took a deep breath and turned my back to him, facing the corner, pulling off my jacket. "…What do I do with my normal clothes?" I asked. He was silent. "Well I'm not chucking them onto the nasty ground. I don't know who's been through here. …Oh, screw it. Hold still." I laid my hoodie on his shoulder and pulled the tank top off over my head, laying that on top of the hoodie. Still holding the kimono in one hand, I successfully managed to wriggle out of my pants and chuck those onto his shoulder, too.

_Every teenage boy's dream._

I wasn't sure if this was my remark or Xehanort's.

I got myself into the kimono only to realize that my boobs were showing. Size twelve in this world was about like size forty in most others.

"Oh, dear," I muttered.

"What's wrong?" Riku asked.

"Er—nothing. I'm just, er, I look great."

"Can I turn a—?"

"_No_!" I shouted, tugging the fabric up to my chin, hands clenched around fistfuls of green silk.

There was an awkward silence as I tried to strategically fasten the tie around my waist so that I didn't look racey. It wasn't working out so well.

"Oh, shit. What now?" I whispered.

"What happened?" he asked.

"It's too big."

"What? But you said—"

"I know! I must've been wrong!"

"So what're—?"

"I don't know!"

"I could go get another—"

"And tell the woman what? That you got the wrong size?"

He sighed. "Will you quit cutting me off?"

"Sorry. It's just embarrassing."

"And you don't have a safety pin or anything?"

"If I did, would we be having this conversation? Just shush and let me try tying this thing a different way." I shifted the wrap around my waist, tightening the fabric across my chest and struggling to make it stay while tying the wrap.

"Alright. New plan of action." I turned towards Riku, clutching the fabric tight across my chest with my right hand, letting the wrap sag around my hips.

"What?"

"Well, look at me."

He turned and crossed his arms, sizing me up. "I like it," he smirked.

"Hardy har."

He smiled. "I wasn't kidding."

"W-Whatever! Tie the wrap, will you?"

"What wrap?"

"The one around me, dummy."

"Tie it where?" he asked, a little more seriously.

"Right around here," I said, staring at my torso as I traced a line just beneath my bosom.

"If you insist." He stepped forward, reaching his arms around me, sliding his fingers between the fabric against my lower back and the wrap. He tugged the cloth of the wrap so that it was tight against my back – when held taut, it was a foot tall and about five feet long. He slowly tilted the angle he held the fabric at until it slid up my back to the right position. I just kept staring at the base of his neck, my face growing warmer and warmer, my mind going completely blank as he inched closer to me. He pressed his hand against my stomach, pinning one end of the wrap there and raising his other arm over and around my head to start winding it around my waist. "How would you do it without help?" he mused, less than a foot from me, his breath hitting my face. After a long moment of nothing but his hand against my stomach and the wrap tightening the fabric in place, I realized my left hand was resting on his shoulder, unlike my old clothes, which had fallen to the dirty ground. I felt my arm tighten with nerves. _I feel ridiculous._

He dropped his hand from my stomach and slid that end up, tucking it into the fabric to hold it in place. I put my hands on my hips, wishing I would calm down. Wishing didn't do much. He took the other end of the fabric – the end that he'd been winding around me – and slid it into the top of the wrap. He smoothed the cloth against my torso with both hands, holding my waist for a long, tense moment.

He leaned his mouth to my ear, speaking softly. "I like it," he repeated softly.

"The kimono?" I muttered, stupefied.

"The woman inside it." He turned his head and pressed his lips against my neck. My hand trailed to the base of his throat, trembling as his pulse beat against my fingertips.

A blood-curdling screech echoed across the sky, shaking the ground beneath our feet.

He sighed, tilting his forehead against my neck. "Damn dragon."

I swallowed, running my hand to the back of his neck, suddenly afraid of losing the moment I'd just been paralyzed by. "That was so _loud_…"

"We'd better go make sure everyone's alright." He took my hand from his neck, gripping it in his. He gave me the once-over. "Are you comfortable in that?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"I didn't tie it too tightly?"

"Nope."

"Are you sure?"

I glared at him. "You're not taking it off, Riku."

He smirked. "Just checking."

**Thank you for all your support, you guys! I really appreciate it. ^-^**


	51. Chapter 51 A Good Enough Reason

**Whoops, grammar check. It's not a kimono, technically, it's a hanfu. (Thanks for the tip, Tuna ^^) Just thought I'd clear that up. **

"So I was thinking, we're proably going to need to go to a different world tonight," Riku said, shoveling a giant chunk of chicken into his mouth.

"Why? Aren't Sora and his friends staying?"

"Not for much longer. But even if he was, I doubt we'd have a safe place to sleep tonight."

I arched an eyebrow at him. "But you make _everything_ safe, Batman."

He smirked. "But don't you want to sleep on a real bed?"

"Yeah. Aren't there inns around here?"

"I don't know that any _respectable_ places would give us a room."

Room. Singular. It suddenly hit me that he may have suggested we take our food to the roof and have a picnic by ourselves for more than one reason (that being, the convenience of not having to try and fit in with the obnoxious, smelly manager that was about to seat us). This realization hit me even harder when his face went red and he started to ramble.

"If any innkeeper around here gave us a room, quite frankly, I wouldn't trust them. Because we're so obviously foreign – and we're a man and woman – and if they let _us_ sleep there, who else do they let in?"

"Crack whores, obviously," I stammered, trying to lighten the awkward mood – but he was talking over me, and I could've sworn his composure level was dropping from ninety percent, to twelve.

"I mean if you _want_ to get a room. I don't want to pressure you into anything. I mean, obviously you want a room, but I meant one with me. If you want. Or if you don't, that's fine. You're fine. But not like that. I mean yes, you are, but I meant—Never mind. You'll want a bed, but you don't have to share."

_Don't laugh… Don't laugh… He's trying to be cool about it… Don't… laugh…_

My mental coaching had absolutely no effect. When I regained a bit of sanity, I breathed, "Don't worry. We'll figure something out."

He smiled faintly and stared at his food, taking another giant bite. We ate in silence a moment.

"So why did we even check in on Sora and his battle with the dragon, when you don't want to 'reveal your identity'?" I asked.

He took a long moment to swallow. "I'm indecisive," he finally said, dismissively.

"_Indecisive? Tell that to the homes you destroyed, boy,"_ the icy voice hissed, and I could tell by the slight frown on Riku's face that I wasn't the only one hearing this. _"You certainly had no qualms deciding to throw away everything you ever had. Everyone that cared for you. Everyone that loved you."_

"Hey," I snapped at Xehanort, though my eyes were trained on Riku's blindfold, and he now turned to me confusedly. " He talks too much," I said quickly. "It's not even relevant. He's just obsessed with people's pasts – not just yours, everyone's. It's like some kind of disease. He needs a life of his own – or better yet, a death. I'm thinking dynamite."

"I was thinking acid."

"Or maybe frying him in hot oil and serving him to the obnoxious manager."

"Exactly. It'll be a hit. Tastes like chicken, only crueller."

I hadn't finished my food yet, and the idea of cruellers was very appealing. "Whatever world we stop at, let's get donuts there."

He stared at me a minute. "…How are donuts relevant to this conversation?"

"Donuts are relevant to _every_ conversation," I said with mock-reproach.

He smiled a little. "What was I thinking?"

"Your judgement's obviously impaired," I smirked. The thought of walking through the dark corridor to get to another world unsettled me – but having Riku there would hopefully make things easier. Hopefully. The ice-cold feeling I had in my hand when I opened a dark corridor resonated in my palm – I shuddered.

_Maybe Xehanort's right. Maybe I _am_ going to give into darkness. But… maybe that's not so bad. Maybe Riku would trust me to take care of myself, if… darkness spread. But what does that mean? 'Darkness spread'? Would it just be like a disease, whose ailments are insanity and power of instant teleportation? My head is spinning. I want to sort it out, but I don't want to worry Riku…_

"Leftovers for your thoughts?" Riku said, shoving his bowl full of untouched vegetables towards me.

_Think fast!_ "I'm going to look _really_ weird walking around in a hanfu in pretty much any world besides this one," I said.

"We could go get your other clothes," he suggested.

"Yeah, right. The clothes that are bloody, dirty, smelly, and have several holes all over them. The clothes that I specifically threw in the trash. I think not."

"Oh, _I_ see. You just want to go shopping again."

"You say that as if you don't _like_ telling people I'm your sister and promising not to dress me," I said innocently.

He snorted. "Lying isn't so bad, as long as I have a good reason. You're a good enough reason. –And it's not _dressing_ you that I'm interested in, so that's a promise I can keep."

I could feel my face burning, and I tried to fight the desperate urge to rip off that stupid blindfold. "Well, then, you're only _half_ a liar."

"_The other half is a murderer."_

I laid my face in my hands. "Guess what's for dinner?"

"I'll fire up the grill," was Riku's response.

After finishing our food and sneaking the dirty plates back to the kitchen of the restaurant below (messing with normal people was too much fun), we stood on the roof, staring at each other for a moment. I crossed my arms, a bit nervous about being around the dark corridor.

"So what world are you whisking me away to, Batman?"

"It looks like the only other world Sora has access to with the gummi ship is Beast's Castle."

"A castle…?"

"There's a town nearby."

"Oh, so you're not trying to lock me in some dungeon? Good."

He smirked. "No, I'd be much smoother about it if it was a dungeon I wanted you in."

I snorted. "Whatever. I know your judgement's still impaired."

His smirk faded into a soft frown. "Are you sure you'll be okay in the corridor?"

I twisted my lips to one side. "Not at all."

He nodded slowly. "Do you want to wait?"

"Not at all. Bring it on."

He arched an eyebrow. "Are you _sure_?"

I glared at him. "Are you calling me a liar?"

"No, I'm calling you over-zealous."

"Well call me something nicer, like 'gorgeous', and let's find some new clothes. You shouldn't have even bought me these. If I'd have known we were leaving…"

"It's not my fault you shoved me into that dress shop!"

"So your judgement _is_ impaired!" I said victoriously.

"Never said it wasn't," he smirked, taking my wrist in his left hand and opening a corridor with his right.

A sudden, freezing breeze swept over me, and I felt my entire body convulse in a sudden shiver. Riku's fingers twined around mine.

"You sure?" he asked, his voice distant. I nodded. _It's not like procrastinating will help anything._

Side by side, we stepped into the darkness, my hand tensing around Riku's. The coldness seemed to sink through my skin, hitting my bones and shooting through me with a horrible shudder. My knees were starting to buckle, but I willed myself to keep walking on my own. I was able to handle this.

"_Welcome back,"_ I heard as we stepped onto the bright colors of the corridor.

"You okay?" Riku asked.

"Yep."

"Alright."

I felt a freezing hand wrap around my waist, tugging me away from Riku's side. I looked down, ready to pry whatever it was off of me, but I didn't see anything. It felt like it was against my bare skin, seering into me. I felt around my waist where a hand should've been, but felt nothing except pain in my side when I pressed down.

"Miyuki?" Riku said slowly.

"_Finally… Your heart has surrendered."_

My waist was released and now two hands slid towards my chest, one over each shoulder. I tried to step towards Riku, but my feet wouldn't move. I turned and tried to elbow Xehanort – this _had_ to be him – but my arm just hit air.

"Damn it!" Riku growled, and the bat-wing sword appeared in his hand. He took three strides towards me, bringing the sword down behind my head. Nothing changed.

"No, it's like he's got ahold of my chest!" I snapped, scraping at my freezing skin, trying to pry his hands off. It wasn't working, and suddenly the icy voice was loud and clear in my ear.

"_A weapon made of fire does nothing to cease flames – neither does a weapon of shadows destroy darkness."_

"What do you _want_?" Riku shouted.

"_The only weapon that will rid her of my grip is the keyblade."_

My eyes widened. "You're just trying to unlock my heart!" I snapped at Xehanort.

"_I can crush her heart—"_ His ice-cold fingers pressed against my chest until I couldn't draw breath. _"—or you can unlock it for me."_

Riku shook his head. "No."

"_You prefer the former? Very well."_

I felt his fingertips pierce my skin, a throbbing pain shooting through me. My mouth opened, my vocal cords straining to make some sort of noise, but unable to.

Riku threw his sword to the side, and a giant, black key appeared in his hand. He raised it over his head – there was a soft _woosh_, the sensation of being teleported – a thick, hot blade sliced through my shoulder and the base of my neck, down to the point where Xehanort had broken skin.

"What… did I do…?" Riku breathed.

The freezing hands had disappeared, but the ice lingered in my chest, clashing with the burning heat of the blade in me. I closed my eyes and finally drew a deep breath, holding it as long as I could. The paralyzing pain was all-consuming – I could barely hear the conversation around me past the throbbing and stinging.

"_You think you're quick? I am the one that taught you what speed truly is."_

"No… _No_!"

Somewhere between the torturous blade in my shoulder and the darkness freezing my heart, I realized that I wasn't consumed. I was freezing, I was on fire, I was certain that these were my last moments, but I was still alive, and I was still _me_.

_If this is all darkness is – some coldness and depression – then I'm gonna be fine._

_My hands are tied in front of me, the rope freezing and digging into my wrists. _

"_I'm not alone anymore." Riku's nose brushes against my cheek – although I want to feel comforted, I'm not. "I'll never be alone again." His hand slides around my neck and he presses his lips against my shoulder. "You're finally mine." He pulls back and smiles at me, golden eyes glinting in the darkness._

I drifted out of the nightmare and while my senses were still readjusting to consciousness, I felt myself waving around. _What is darkness doing, getting me high?_ My eyes opened to see nothing but black. _Shit. Still in the corridor._ Slowly, I started to realize that I wasn't staring at the nothingness of darkness, I was staring at black fabric. My hands were folded up between my chest and this fabric, and warm water seemed to be dripping down my shoulder and back.

A hand was pressed against the back of my head, gently pressing me against the black fabric, and I suddenly realized Riku was holding me, rocking me back and forth.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

I didn't know what he was talking about. I'd never felt this safe, and he was _apologizing_?

"I didn't mean to. Please, please come back."

I pressed my palm against his chest to feel his heartbeat. "If you insist," I muttered.

He froze. I felt his hand tense against my head and, clutching his coat for support, I leaned back a bit to prove how awake I was. I was shocked to see he wasn't wearing his blindfold, but even more shocked to see the skin around his bright teal eyes was reddened and wet.

"You were _crying_?" I muttered.

"You're _alive_," he replied, his voice cracking.

"When was I _dead_?"

"Five seconds ago! You had no pulse!"

"What? That's ridiculous, of course I did! I wouldn't be here if I didn't!"

"I _know_ how to check for a pulse, and you did _not_ have one!" He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Oh my god, if this is a dream…"

"Then here's hoping you don't wake up. Being trapped in your subconscious is not a pleasant prospect, if you know what I mean." He grit his teeth and shook his head slowly, staring at me with angry eyes that now pooled with tears. "It was just a joke," I said quietly.

"I am _so_ sorry."

"For _what_?" I honestly had no clue what he was apologizing for.

His eyebrows knit. "For hurting you."

Then the memory rushed in, like a dream you'd almost forgotten. _Oh, yeah. Corridor, pain, Xehanort, pain, Riku's keyblade, pain, dreaming, pain… I remember now._ "What _happened_?" I asked.

"I went to cut Xehanort down, to get him off of you, but he teleported you… I cut into you instead of him…" He swallowed. "I'm so sorry."

There's no explanation for what I did next, except that I was really, _really_ tired. I busted out laughing, practically collapsing in Riku's lap. I still clung to his jacket with my right hand, but my head now rested on his leg, and I was laughing so hard I was crying.

"Mi…yuki…?"

"I don't know," I giggled. I tugged on his jacket to pull myself upright again, although he still had to grab my shoulders and help me sit up. I hooked my arms around his neck, still giggling like the maniac I was now sure I was. "Don't let go of me, kay?" I snickered.

"Whatever you want," he whispered, wrapping his arms around me.

My laughter finally died away and I was now hit with the aftermath of a near-death experience. My eyes refused to stay open, and my neck refused to hold my head up. I buried my face in Riku's neck. "Where are we?" I mumbled.

"The town near Beef's Castle."

"What's that for?"

"…What?"

"Beef."

"…_What_?"

"I don't know. I'm sleepy."

"Obviously."

"It's bedtime."

"Alright. Hold this."

I felt his left arm slide from my back and wrap a soft black cloth around my neck. Then he hooked his arm beneath my knees and stood up, wobbbling a little under my weight. He sighed, nuzzling his face against my shoulder. Then I realized he was just trying to wipe his eyes.

"You're kind of vain," I mumbled.

"I know."

He started walking, and I could feel the pulse in his throat against my cheek. Eyes still shut, I used my nose to trail up his neck, find his jaw, and then locate his cheek, which I kissed.

"You're my favorite, Batman."

Somewhere in the back of my sleepy mind I cringed at how ridiculously childish I sounded, but at the moment, I was just glad he was holding me.

**

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**

Wow. I can't believe it took me this long. I also can't believe you're actually reading this! You're AWESOME! I love you. ;u; Thank you for the reviews last time. If Kingdom Hearts is the fuel for this story, you are DEFINITELY something important, like, the oil or something. :D Aren't you glad you're oil?

I don't know, I'm making very little sense. You'd think I almost died or something.

THANK YOU FOR READING!


	52. Chapter 52 Sleeping Patterns

**So a couple of you beautiful people ended up having coincidences with the donut reference… I feel so psychically connected to you now. o-o**

_THUD_.

My eyes opened to a room that was far too bright and I flopped over, refusing to wake up. My body ached all over, especially my shoulder, and each breath felt freezing cold, making me shudder a little. I heard something shuffle on the floor beside the bed, and propped myself up on one elbow to look over and see Riku sitting on his feet on the floor.

"Did you fall off the bed?" I asked.

He jumped at my voice and started to stammer. "Ye— No, actually, I was asleep on the floor…" He stared at the floor, his eyebrows knitting.

"I'm sleepy, not blind. You were sleeping on the bed, weren't you?"

"Er…" He shook his head. "No."

"Liar."

"I'm not! I just… Ergh, never mind."

I snorted, and ignored the icey throbbing in my chest. "Nice try. I don't care if we sleep in the same bed, you know."

He stared at me a minute, a small smile creeping onto his face. "But you're so… 'hands-off'."

I glared at him. "I didn't say you could climb in pantless," I growled. He nodded, looking back at the floor and rubbing the back of his neck. I noticed that he was still wearing his coat, which made me feel relieved and a little sad. "Don't you have normal clothes on under that thing?"

"I couldn't even sleep on the bed, Miyuki. You really think I was going to take anything off?"

"What do you mean? So you _didn't_ sleep on the bed? Then what was that thud?"

He rolled his eyes and wiped his face with one hand. "I don't know."

"Yes you do!"

"It was so fucking awkward, I just sat on the edge of the bed, alright?"

I bit my lower lip. "And you fell over just now?"

"Yeah, 'cause you just now rammed your foot into my ass."

I snorted. "That's what you get for being kinky and _sitting on my bed_." I feigned a gasp of shock. It was painful.

"Are you telling me your foot doesn't hurt at _all_ from kicking me?"

"Are you telling me that I hurt you very badly without even trying?"

"Tch. _Please_. I've dealt with meaner bugbites."

"I bet those bugs didn't hurt themselves while biting you, either."

"'Either'? When did _you_ bite me?" he smirked.

I opened my mouth, but no witty response came out. I just felt my face go red and warm, an almost painful contrast to the chill in my chest. I flopped back down onto the bed, turning my back to him. "I'm injured. Leave me alone."

There was a long pause, and I knew that I'd struck a chord that wasn't exactly pleasant.

I felt pressure on the mattress behind me, and peeked over my shoulder to see Riku kneeling beside the bed, elbows on the mattress, running a hand through the hair on his hanging head.

"Riku?"

"I unlocked your heart…" He cleared his throat. "I'm pretty sure _he_ has… full access to it…" I could only see the top of his head as he shook it, staring at the mattress, which was now mere inches from his face. Or at least, from what I could tell, it was. It was difficult to see past the mass of silver hair. "I never meant to hit you."

"I know."

"I thought you were…" He clutched his head with both hands. "How many times will I nearly kill you?"

"_Riku_," I said reproachfully, turning onto my other side to face him.

"I can't believe I did this to you."

I sat up quickly, ignoring the sudden nausea, and pried his hands off his head, gripping his hair and pulling up until he looked at me. I gripped his face with both hands and wobbled his head back and forth as I spoke. "It's no big deal."

He arched a skeptical eyebrow at me. "'No big deal?' Miyuki—"

"No. Shut up. Dwelling on it will only make us feel like shit." I leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I'll pay you back eventually."

He snorted, and I suddenly realized that I was still in a hanfu. A ridiculously oversized hanfu. A ridiculously oversized hanfu that was now loosened from my tossing and turning, and was now revealing a bit more skin than I intended. And this skin was now being warmed by Riku's breath. Bending over was not my brightest idea. Good thing I had an injury to blame for this ignorance of mine.

I slid one hand from his cheek to his eyes, covering both of them as well as I could. "Uhhhhm…" I gripped the fabric and pinned it together in my fist, holding it up to my collarbone. "…Please tell me you didn't see that."

"I didn't see that," he said obediently.

"Are you lying?"

"Would it make you feel better if I said 'no'?"

My heart was pounding in my ears and my stomach flipped. I hung my head. "No, because you just said 'yes'."

"Sorry."

"No, you're not."

"Yes I am. Hearing that that view was not intentional is a little offensive."

"Excuse me?" I dropped my hand from his eyes and stared at him in shock.

"Are you telling me you _really_ weren't thinking… along those lines at _all_?"

"I was just trying to say I forgive you!"

"So your… judgement hasn't been impaired _at all_?"

"I can't believe this! What are you, some sex god all of a sudden? If you don't make girls feel like taking off their clothes immediately, your relationship has no meaning?" He smirked. I glared at him. "You're teasing me."

"Maybe. A little."

"You're sick."

"Maybe. A little."

I grabbed the pillow and smacked him upside the head with it. "See if I let _you_ on the bed again!" I shouted.

"Do you wanna wake the other people staying here?" he hissed, grabbing the other end of the pillow.

Actually, it hadn't occurred to me that we were in an inn. "Yes! I'll tell them all what a pervert you are! This town isn't exactly modern. I bet they'll burn you at a stake or something!"

"You'd have them burn me at a stake for catching a glimpse of your chest when it wasn't even my fault?"

My head was pounding, my chest was throbbing and I felt like I was going to collapse. I clutched the pillow, trying to spit out words that described my pain as well as disdain for his remarks. I was wobbling now – I could tell by the way the room spun. I waved my left hand towards Riku, trying to use his shoulder to hold myself up; he caught my hand in his right and steadied me by my shoulder with his left hand.

"I'm dizzy," I muttered.

"Lay down. I'll get some water."

"That should fix it," I nodded. _I hope._ I slowly laid down on my back and he vanished. I stared at the ceiling, folding my hands on my stomach. The coldness was only getting worse in my chest, and even though my face went bright red even thinking it, I sort of wished Riku's warm breath would spill across it again.

_Because then I wouldn't be as cold. Yes. That's why. Yes._

I shuddered, the cold slowly spreading through my torso.

_Darkness… Was it this paiful when Riku surrendered?_

I sighed and flopped onto my side, curling into a fetal position, clutching the pillow to my chest.

_I hope I don't feel this cold _all_ the time._

"_If you'd stop fighting it, you wouldn't be in pain, Miyuki," _Xehanort hissed in my ear. I shuddered, feeling surrounded by ice, wishing the blankets would warm up already.

"My heart's unlocked. How can I _possibly_ be fighting it?" I muttered.

"_You haven't entirely surrendered. Even when struck by the keyblade itself, you're resilient."_

A freezing cold, tan hand rested on my shoulder and I jumped out of the bed, turning to see Xehanort standing on the other side, crossing his arms at me. "Why are you so afraid of me?" he smirked.

"Afraid?" I scoffed. "More like _fucking pissed_!" I held both hands up towards him. "_Firaga_!" I bellowed.

He lowered his arms and the flames leaping from my hand hit him in the chest. But I felt _my_ skin burning on the outside, the chill still sitting on the inside. I slapped my chest, trying to pat out the invisile flames. It didn't do anything.

"Why did _I_ feel that?" I stared at Xehanort with what I knew had to be a look of sheer terror.

"We are _finally_ becoming one," he said, smiling.

Suddenly he was behind and above me, a freezing grip seering into my arms. My hands clenched into fists, by no command of mine.

"What'd you do to Riku?" I growled. _If he can physically control me, and I'm still "resilient", what god-awful things…?_

"Riku? You saw what I did to him," he said plainly. "Or did you mean what did I do to him, that he hasn't come to your rescue yet? In which case, I did nothing. He wanted to see Sora, who has recently stepped into the bar below us."

_Sora? Sora stepped into a bar?_

_Wait a— Riku got us a _room_ over a _bar_?_

"Let's greet them," Xehanort said.

I tried walking towards the bed – it ended up being the door. _No. No. Not in this ensemble. Oh god. No._ My hand reached towards the doorknob. _Fuck you! I'm _not_ doing this!_ I slammed the heel of my hand down on the knob and it busted beneath the force. I bent over with a silent scream. Oh yes, a bruised palm was exactly what I needed on top of the ice-cold torso and demon possessing me.

"I told you. The less of a fight you put up, the less pain you'll feel."

I felt my body twist and my weight shifted to my left foot, my right foot lifting to smash the door open. I struggled to put my leg back down, but it wasn't happening. Time for a new plan.

"This is why we can't have nice things," I groaned.

Just as my right foot reared back, ready to swing at the door, I kicked my left foot up and landed on my butt, my tailbone smashing against the doorknob I'd just knocked down.

I was about to scream when I felt a cold hand wrap around my mouth.

"Shhhh!" Xehanort hissed in my ear. "You know how to stop the pain. _Stop fighting me_!"

I lifted my head back a tiny bit, and chomped down on his hand with all the force I had. My finger was now throbbing along with his, but it was just as well, considering I was aching all over anyway. I yanked my head to the side, trying to rip his finger off. My vocal cords were vibrating with rage – I didn't even realize I was screaming until he gripped my neck and the noise stopped. Now it was replaced with the angry curses of Xehanort, whose voice was chilling every throbbing fiber of my being.

"Idiot girl, did you really think you could rid yourself of me so easily? You two will pay for that. Mark my words, child, _you and that boy will pay dearly_!"

Something struck me across the cheek, and the voice and hand disappeared. I felt hot tears streaming down my cool cheeks, and every little move I made was agony. Breathing was torture, blinking was hell, and I didn't feel any warmth at all.

An age passed; two ages passed; I finally heard the shuffle of footsteps behind me, and struggled to get up. My body felt heavy and my legs wobbled beneath me, but I managed to lurch onto my feet and keep my balance.

_Wait for Xehanort to touch me… Just a moment longer…_

I felt fingertips on my shoulder and whipped around, swinging my leg into his side and casting firaga on him. I knew I would feel the pain, too, but at least now he would get the message that I wasn't going down without a fight. Except it wasn't Xehanort, it was Riku.

I stood there in a stupor as he lowered his arms, which he'd raised to keep the spell from hitting his head. He had his hood pulled up, and I could just barely make out the teal in the shadow of it. Agony and misery set in, and I felt the room spin.

"Miyuki," Riku said, catching my arm and holding me up – or at least, he was trying to. The room kept pitching and yawing, and I shut my eyes, trying to shut out the pain and guilt.

"Sorry," I croaked, my vocal cords throbbing as I spoke.

"Don't worry. Come sit down."

He led me to the bed and sat on the edge of it with me, his arm feeling like fire as he wrapped it around my shoulders.

"It's cold," I whispered, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around my legs, tense and aching all over.

"It doesn't last forever."

I leaned into his side – it felt like leaning against fire, but I knew I would be worse off freezing by myself. Slowly, my eyes began drifting shut, and I slipped into sleep.

_There's nothing but darkness and water in front of me. The ocean is whispering things I don't understand, and although I know I shouldn't, I inch closer to it. The black sand is soft between my toes, the black waves looking inviting. Something's pushing me towards it, someone telling me to stop. My toes hit freezing cold water, and something heavy presses against my chest. The water slides beneath my feet, slipping under my skin, crawling up my veins. I shudder with the cold, my chest feeling tight, and I gasp for air, backing away. But when I step back, my heel hits more water. _

_I turn around and kick at the tide, though it does nothing. I look all around me and realize the once wide shore is now closing in on me, nothing left but maybe three feet of sand left for me to stand on. The water is rising, up to my ankles; knees; waist; chest. I try to tread it, to start swimming, but my feet are planted to the ground. I tilt my head back, about to take a deep breath, and feel burning skin brush against my cheek. Lips catch mine, drawing breath out of them as the water reaches my chin. When they finally pull away and I try to inhale, water slips down my throat._

I flopped onto my side, choking and gasping for air, pushing myself onto my hands and knees on the bed.

"It's okay." I felt a warm hand pat my back gently, and realized that I wasn't freezing – I actually felt warm.

I sat back on my feet, catching my breath and wiping my face with one hand. "Nightmare," I muttered.

"What'd you say?" Riku asked.

I looked over at him and my eyes popped out of my skull. He was sprawled on one side of the bed in nothing but sweatpants, his hair smushed from sleep, one elbow propping him up. "What the hell do you think _you're_ doing?" I shouted.

He arched an eyebrow. "Trying to make sure you don't choke to death?"

I yanked the pillow out from beneath his elbow and started beating him in the face with it as he fell back onto the mattress, banging his head against the headboard. "You pervert! You little fucking pervert!"

"Damn it, Miyuki! You _said_ you didn't care if we slept in the same bed!"

"I told you not to climb in pantless!" I screeched.

He gripped the pillow and yanked it out of my hands, chucking it across the room. "I'm _wearing_ pants!" he yelled.

I curled my hands into fists and started pounding on his bare stomach. "You need to be fully clothed! _Fully_!"

"Well _someone's_ feeling better! C'mon, knock it off!" He gripped my forearms in each of his hands, shaking his head. "A: You need to _train_, woman. Those punches were weak as water."

"I've felt like shit!" I squeaked.

"Excuses, excuses. B: Are you _that_ afraid that I'll 'take you' against your will, or something?"

I grit my teeth. "I… I want you… to wear clothes when we're sleeping… near each other."

He narrowed his eyes at me and pulled himself forward, tugging my arms towards him a little as he did so. My heart started pounding in my ears and there was no doubt in my mind now that I wasn't freezing anymore; my face was burning bright red. He leaned towards me, his eyes slipping down from my eyes to my lips. Barely an inch separated us, and I could feel warmth radiating off his skin. A long moment passed; I could barely move.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Riku whispered.

"Th-There aren't any," I stammered.

He exhaled, the corners of his mouth tugging into a small frown. He let go of me and laid back, resting his hands beneath his head and shutting his eyes. "You are so _fickle_."

"Me? You're the one who was all shy and awkward on the roof, then some sex fiend the entire time in this room!"

"Sex fiend?" he laughed hollowly. "Because I _listened_ when you said 'we can sleep in the same bed'?"

"Because you've been ogling my chest and taking off your shirt!"

He shook his head. "You shoved your boobs in my face and that jacket was freakin' _suffocating_ me, alright?"

"I don't wanna fight anymore!" I shouted.

"Neither do I!" he shouted back. He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

"Where are you going?"

"To get my damn pillow! Do you _mind_? Is it too _provocative_ for your feeble heart?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm all hot and bothered!" I barked sarcastically as he picked up the cushion.

"Now if only you'd loosen that dress…!" He chucked the pillow at me. I caught it with both hands and glared at him as he walked over to the side of the bed. "I am _not_ going another night with barely any sleep," he said, taking the pillow from me and putting it on his side of the mattress.

"Good for you! Neither am I." We both laid down and turned our backs to one another. "Good_night_, Riku," I growled.

"Goodnight," he muttered.

* * *

**I had too much fun writing this chapter. I really did. I was so excited to post it that I ignored that I lost circulation to my left leg. Yeah, that was weird when I stood up and had only one leg. Anyway. Thank you for all the amazing reviews on the last one! (And if you're interested, I got bored and drew a little note for you guys. I had too much fun drawing that, too.)**

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	53. Chapter 53 Just A Little Immature

**Ok, so the AN at the end of the last chapter didn't have the link… Which was not only strange but frustrating. The link's on my profile now, just so you know.**

"_I _told_ you not to step into the water!" Dad says from across the table in the ice cream shop._

"_I'm sorry!"_

"_What were you so afraid of?"_

"_I don't know."_

"_Yeah, kid, you do! What made you step in?"_

"_I _don't know_! I don't know anything anymore! I can't help anyone, I can't even help _myself_, I just keep getting hurt…"_

_He sits back and crosses his arms. "You're afraid of getting hurt?"_

"_No."_

_He smiles. "Afraid of others getting hurt, then?" I nod silently. "Do what you can to protect them. But if you can't, don't beat yourself up over it. Some things weren't meant to be."_

_My eyes widen. "You don't mean Riku?"_

_He shrugs. "Maybe."_

_I shake my head. "No. No, me and him, that's meant to be. I know it is."_

"_So why are you hiding from him in the ice cream parlor?"_

"_I'm not hiding!"_

"_Prove it. Go find him and invite him to eat with us."_

_I shift uncomfortably in my seat. "Er… I think he's busy."_

_He laughs. "Be that way, then. But the last time I hid from your Mom, I didn't get the chance to tell her it was only because I was embarrassed."_

The dream spun through my head over and over throughout the day – the near-miserable day whose morning consisted of trying to get Riku to lighten up during breakfast, trying to get him to crack a smile while we hunted down some normal clothes for me, and trying to learn more about the day before.

"So how did things go with Sora yesterday?" I asked as we trudged through the street. I'd gotten ahold of some black trousers that were baggy enough to look like normal pants, the hem dragging around the heel of my converse. I had a men's white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows and a hair ribbon in my hands, the messenger bag with Dad's sketchbook slung over my shoulder. Honestly, I had completely forgotten about it until Riku handed it to me as we stepped out of the inn – and I wondered when I'd stopped carrying it and he started.

Riku looked surprised when I mentioned Sora, and turned his head towards me a little. I figured he was looking at me, but the blindfold was blocking my view. "Fine," he answered, looking ahead again.

I stared at him blankly, twining the ribbon back and forth between my fingers. "I'm guessing you didn't want to actually _talk_ to him, so you probably hid in the corner when he showed up. I'm also guessing that you were in total shock when he stepped into a bar, considering he's a minor and such a goody-goody."

"You don't know him," he said blankly.

I rolled my eyes. "I know _you_, and you usually give apt descriptions of people."

"You have nothing to base that on."

"Oh, hi, remember me? I went home and met Kairi? Yeah, she's _exactly_ how you described her." I bent my head forward to look at him and maybe catch his eye again, but he was focused on the road ahead. I shook my head and stood upright again, pulling my hair back and winding the ribbon around it to make a ponytail. My bangs refused to stay in place, but most of my hair was being held back, and that was good enough for me. "I still don't get why you're so pissed at me."

"I'm not," he said quietly.

"Then why so silent? I mean, you're always monosyllabic, but it's usually a funny syllable."

"I just feel like being quiet."

I stared at him a long moment. _I didn't think our argument last night was that serious… Did I hurt his feelings _that_ much?_ I looked back at the road ahead. "Will you at least tell me why we're going to Beast's Castle?"

He glanced at me again. "You know your way around here?"

"Yeah, I had an agreement with the mayor once. Back when I didn't need to train." I shot him a look from the corners of my eyes. He exhaled a little more heavily than normal, but no other response came from him. I stared at my feet a minute. "How 'bout we kill time training today?" I asked, looking back up at him with a smile.

"Whatever," he shrugged.

My shoulders slumped. _Have I ever been given a 'whatever' before?_ I couldn't remember, but if I had, this was an especially cold one. _I don't get it. I know I snapped at him… but was it that bad? What else did I do? …Okay, I _did_ smack his butt this morning, but that was an accident… Argh, he's being so standoffish!_ "Yeah, _I'm_ the fickle one," I muttered.

It was early afternoon when we reached the gates of Beast's Castle, the wide path lined with huge pine trees that cast cool shadows, and I wondered at why Riku didn't just teleport us there. Which brought me back to my original question that had never been answered.

"So why _are_ we here?" I asked.

"Waiting for Sora."

"Right." _I might've figured._ "We could train while we wait," I suggested as we slowed to a stop in front of the gates.

"Fine."

Now it wasn't just weird, it was annoying. I turned to face him. "Yes. Fine. Are you ready?" I grabbed his arm and turned him to face me.

"I guess."

"Great."

I clenched my right hand into fist and swung it towards his ribs. _Fire._ He shoved my fist up with his left forearm and went to hit me in the gut. I held out my hand to catch his fist. _Blizzara!_ The force of the spell slowed the impact, but the ice dug into my palm. Not my brightest idea. I wrapped my right hand around the back of his neck and he crushed his fist into my ribs – I ignored the pain and raised my right knee to slam it into his gut – just as I made contact, he hooked one leg around my left and yanked it out from under me. Balance lost, sanity lost, and desire for communication growing, I clutched his hair in my hand and pulled him down with me as I fell.

We ended up on our backs beside each other on the ground, and I looked over at him, laughing a little.

"I missed that," I said. He grunted vaguely and started to get up. I sat up quickly and grabbed his arm before he stood. "I'm sorry, Riku," I said. "I shouldn't have flipped out on you last night."

"I don't care," he muttered. He was about a foot in front of me, and his head turned away from me.

"Then what's eating at you? Did Sora say something?"

He snorted. "Like Sora has this big an impact on me."

"Xehanort, then?" Silence. I pulled on his arm – he refused to turn. I scooched forward a bit and he turned his head away from me even more. I gripped his shoulder and yanked him back, shoving him to the ground, pinning his left shoulder there with my right hand. I leaned over him and pushed the blindfold up, determined to get him to say something. "Are you just pissed because you didn't get any?" I snapped.

He rolled his eyes and pushed me off with one arm, sitting up. I clutched his sleeve with a death grip, refusing to let him stand. "Let go," he muttered.

"You've got me grasping at straws, Riku! _Talk_ to me!"

"Do you _not know me_ anymore?" he snapped, glaring at me.

"Yeah, right, I suddenly forgot."

"You act like all I want is to get in your pants. Like that's all I want from you. I think _you're_ just _transferring_."

"_What_?" I scoffed.

"'The lady doeth protest too much'."

"You're cracked!" I scoffed.

"Oh, so you really _do_ think I'm just after your virtue?"

"What, so it's either you or me that's the pervert?" I let go of his sleeve. "What do you want me to say? '_I am a nympho_. All I have _ever_ wanted is a piece of ass.'" I punched his shoulder. "That's a load of bull!"

He stared at me a long moment, his expression turning angrier and angrier. He shook his head. "I don't know anymore."

"Know _what_?" He looked down at his lap, shaking his head. "_Know what_?" I pressed. He didn't speak. "Is it something from me you want to know? Since you're playing the quiet game, I'll just spill." I sat back on my feet and stared at my hands as they writhed around one another in my lap. "I'm afraid of being alone in a bed with you because I'm afraid of giving everything to someone and things not working out. I'm afraid of losing you because you're my best friend and I would be a worse version of myself without you. I'm afraid of telling you I love you because there are demons telling me you don't love me back. I never meant to hurt you and quite frankly I'm still confused as to how it spiraled into… _this_." I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck, forcing my eyes to his face. I was a little surprised that he was actually looking at me now.

"I'm not just looking for something to occupy my time," he said. My eyebrows knit, but I didn't want him to stop talking, so I stayed silent. "I'm not going to drop you the minute we get home." I waited for him to say more, but he didn't.

"I know," I said. He stared at me blankly a minute, then shook his head and sat up. I gripped his shoulder. "Hey! What? What's eating at you? I _never_ thought you were going to drop me the minute we got home." He started to stand and I wrapped him in a hug, clutching myself to his side. "Riku… Please talk to me."

A raspy screech echoed around us, and I thought I heard the words "you goof" in it.

"That'd be Donald," Riku sighed, and we now sat behind the trees, hidden in the shadows. He stood up, prying me off of him, and I shook my head, glaring at my lap.

"Ridiculous." _I just reduced myself to begging. And what do I get? "That'd be Donald". Fuck this._ I stood up and walked back towards town.

"Where are you going?" Riku asked, nothing but curiosity in his tone.

"Oh, _now_ you wanna talk?" I scoffed, turning to face him, walking backwards. "Since it's your time of the month, I'm going to go hang out with someone who makes more sense. Like the drunks at the bar." I turned around and looked over to see his blindfold laying in the middle of the path. "Oh, is that your sanity?" I said loudly. "Oops, no, that's too big to be it!"

I felt hands grip my shoulders and I was standing against the stone wall by the gate, Riku pinning me against it.

"I know you're mad at me but wasn't attracting attention like that just a _little_ immature?" he hissed into my ear.

I laid a seething glare on him. "No, you know what's immature? Your entire _attitude_ today!"

"How am I _supposed_ to act when I keep feeling like you're going to ditch me the minute I'm not useful to you?"

The glare was now replaced with a blank stare. "_What_ makes you think I'm just using you?" I breathed.

"You keep shoving me away, every dream I have is about you ignoring me, and every word Xehanort screams at me says 'you're no good for her anymore'."

I thought my heart would break. "Riku, I _never_—"

"I love you, and before you reply to that, do us both a favor and tell the truth."

I grabbed his face with both hands, trying to show that I was in earnest. I searched his eyes for a moment, trying to find out what he really wanted from me. "I love you," I whispered. "There's never going to be a moment that I don't."

He swallowed. "Then why am I so scared?"

I shrugged, twisting my lips to one side. "You're human. Humans don't like getting hurt." I realized that my hands were now resting around the base of his throat, his pulse radiating beneath my fingers. My face turned red, my eyes glued to the hollow of his throat, and I froze in place, suddenly unsure of myself.

His cheek was pressed against mine, his lips brushing my ear as he spoke. "I'm sorry I ever doubted you."

"I think it's just the vindictive shouting that changed your mind."

He laughed softly – I half-expected myself to melt under his warm breath. "Or the realization that I was being stupid. I want the truth, but if it means you leaving, I'd rather be played." His hands slid from my shoulders to my waist, the fingers of his right hand twisting around the fabric of my shirt, tugging me towards him.

"That's… oddly masochistic," I muttered.

"Call me a glutton for punishment." He pulled away and hung his head, still close enough that this meant his forehead was inches from my chest. "Ahh… You hear that?"

"No," I replied before actually listening. After a moment of silence, I actually heard a masculine voice, the raspy one, and one that didn't even sound real, it was so ridiculous.

Riku snorted and looked up at me. "You weren't paying attention to anything at all, were you?" he smirked.

"With you all up in my grill, can you blame me?" I retorted, shoving him back a little. I caught sight of Sora, Donald and the dog whose name I had yet to learn, surprised at how close they actually were – about fifteen feet from us, and gaining. I gripped the front of Riku's jacket. "They are _right there_," I muttered, pointing at them over his shoulder.

He glanced over his shoulder. "Oh, shit," he hissed.

We now stood on a slant, and I lost my footing, crashing into Riku and shoving him backwards, falling a good ten feet and crashing on top of him. I rested my forehead on the ground beside his head as I groaned with pain.

"Excuse me? Who _are_ you?" asked a feminine voice.

I looked up to see a girl with brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, a blue dress gracing her slender figure. I'd seen her before – I remembered her walking around with a book in town. I leapt off of Riku and stood up, brushing myself off.

"Oh, oh, I am so sorry, please excuse us," I said, talking a mile a minute, "I was just so tired and he was so confused, I don't know what happened, really, one minute we were sitting in my father's library discussing politics with him, and now this! Ahaha! How did this happen? It's quite creepy, actually, right?" I looked to Riku for support, but his eyes were shut, and I saw blood beneath his head. My eyes popped wide open and I looked over at the girl with a weak smile. "Will you excuse me for just a moment?" I stepped between the two of them, blocking her view, and wondered how discreetly I could cast Curaga on him.

An extremely low, extremely gruff voice now chimed in, getting louder as Beast approached. "Belle! Get away from them!" His footsteps shook the ground as he sprinted towards us, and I panicked.

"Dammit Riku, you pick the worst spots," I muttered, flinging my hands up in front of me, a dark corridor opening. I leaned down and hooked my arms beneath his, waddling into the corridor, dragging him in front of me. I probably looked like I was trying to hug him and straddle him at the same time.

The door shut behind us just as Beast growled a threat, and I lowered Riku's shoulders back to the ground, desperate to get a better grip on him. I walked around him so that, if he sat upright on his own, I'd be standing behind him. I bent down and hooked my arms under his once more, this time looking like I was hugging him from behind, and toted him backwards to the other end of the corridor.

When we exited, and I laid him down, I looked around to see I'd taken us back to where he'd left his blindfold, in the middle of the path just outside the gates to the castle. I knelt at his side and lifted his head gently, trying to look for where his head had busted open.

"Curaga," I muttered, starting to get extremely worried. "Damn it, Riku, what did you do, put us on a roof? You can't just spring that kind of thing on me! Ugh, you're so dumb!" I pressed my forehead against his, silently praying that I hadn't hurt him too much. "Curaga," I whispered.

"I'm surprised you can carry me!"

His voice was so loud in my ear that I dropped his head and jumped back.

"You're alright?" I said, shocked.

He smirked. "I have been."

"But you were bleeding!"

"So?" he shrugged.

I stood up and crossed my arms. "We fell and you smacked your head against the ground!"

"Which really hurt. And then you cast Curaga."

"You little faker!" I kicked his side and he snorted, amused with himself. "You suck!" I started to walk away and he grabbed my ankle.

"Oh c'mon. I didn't know Belle was gonna be there. I was comfortable, until she showed up."

I tried to shake him off, but he grabbed the fabric of my pants and tugged himself upright, dragging me towards him a little. "It wasn't funny! You had me freaking out!"

"Oh, did I?" he said innocently.

I glared at him, grabbing his hand and prying it off my pants. "You're not funny."

"I get it from _you_, you know."

"Your horrible sense of humor? Oh, _thanks_!"

He wrapped his fingers around mine and tugged – I tugged back and he got to his feet. "Admit it, you'd have done the same thing."

"I would not!" He arched a cynical eyebrow at me. "You're cracked!"

"You're just mad you didn't think of it first."

"Oh, please!" I dropped his hand and walked over to his blindfold, picking it up with two fingers as if it was filthy. "Do you want this back, or do you want to play dead again?"

"Depends. Are you going to carry me around again if I play dead?"

I glared at him and shoved the blindfold in my pocket. "You don't _deserve_ the privilege of anonymity."

He shrugged. "I don't need it. I have you to cover for me if something happens."

"Oh, _I_ see!" I said, crossing my arms. "That was a _test_, to see if I have your back! Well listen, sicko, one more stunt like _that_ and I just might change my mind!"

He stared at me blankly. "Really?"

"No! I'll always have your back! It's like some damn reflex! I just feel dumb for not realizing you were faking your unconsciousness!" I stormed past him, towards the castle. "Now are we going to stalk Sora, or what?" I heard him laugh softly as he trailed along behind me. "You're so full of it!" I muttered.

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**Fanfiction is run by Xehanort, I'm just sure of it. (Translation: It didn't let me update for _quite_ a while.)**

**Welp, to the real point of these footnotes: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! Seriously. They're made of sunshine and rainbows and I love you.**


	54. Chapter 54 A Deity of Darkness

**I promise, it's not an April Fools' Day joke. (Mostly because I really suck at jokes on April Fools' Day. I don't work well under pressure.)**

* * *

We stood in the entrance hall of the castle, hiding in the dark corner behind a decorative pillar, waiting on Sora, Donald and Goofy (Riku informed me of the giant dog's name – and no, it never stopped feeling awkward that Sora was hanging out with mutant animals). They had yet to step into the castle, which seemed to be bustling with life – a clock, candelabra, and teapot had just crossed paths, switching sides of the house, muttering to each other about a ball.

"If only we'd gotten you a tux," I said to Riku mock-wistfully.

He snorted softly. "I think I'll survive without it."

"But crashing a party in an outfit as frumpy as that? Tsk, tsk." I shook my head.

"I'm not a party-crasher."

"That's what I'm here to change."

He nudged me with his elbow and nodded towards the entrance doors, where an Organization member stood, eyeing the place scrutinizingly. He had sideburns that hooked up to his cheeks, and black dreads were pulled back into a huge ponytail, a few bangs hovering over his forehead.

"Blindfold," Riku muttered, his voice barely audible.

I was thankful for the sudden absence of animate objects as I yanked the blindfold out of my pocket and reached around his head, tying it tight around his eyes. My hands lowered and I grabbed Riku's sleeve, waiting for him to transport us to a safer place. This guy didn't look like someone who wouldn't notice two stalkers in the corner. I waited for Riku to transport, but he didn't. We stood there, watching the man step forward, take a deep breath, and smile. I tugged gently on Riku's sleeve, tension rising. I was sure of it now – he was a mere twenty feet from us – he _had_ to see us.

It seemed like an eternity ago, but Riku's words spilled into my head as clear as ever.

"_You know how much difficulty you have fighting off sergeants? The things we're dealing with are at least _twenty times_ harder to beat."_

I did not like the idea of fighting this man that amounted to twenty sergeants. Then again, many things in my fighting style had changed – for instance, if I got freaked out enough, I could just summon a dark corridor and drag Riku through it.

_How comforting_, I thought sarcastically.

"Are you going to keep me waiting, boy?" said the man, who now turned to face us. "I've waited quite a while to face the impostor for myself."

Riku's posture stiffened, and I shoved my hands into my pockets, watching him carefully to see what he wanted me to do. He took one step towards the man, blocking me from his view.

"Well?" the man said. "Are you mute, as well as blind?"

"No."

There was a tense pause, and the hairs on the back of my neck raised as I heard the man snicker. "Alright, then. Answer me this: What are you after?" There was another pause. "What are you smirking at?"

"The Organization knows less than I thought," Riku said, and I could hear the amusement in his voice.

"Do we, now?" There was the hissing of an unnatural breeze, stronger than the kind I heard when Riku would transport. "Allow me to demonstrate how _little_ I know!"

Riku turned to his left, grabbing my left shoulder with his hand and stepping backwards, pushing me to my right. A huge spear struck the wall behind me, but instead of falling to the ground, it swung itself around – if I hadn't leaned back, it'd have cut my head clean off. It flew through the air, back to its owner's hand.

"What've you got there? A local whore, no doubt."

I stood upright, glaring at him. _I'm going to set you on fire, you pompous—_

"The perfect subject to test our newfound abilities on," whispered an icy voice. I froze in place. _Oh no. No. Not now._

"Now isn't the time for fighting," Riku said. _Damn straight!_ "You don't want any of the locals to see you, and the servants will be hopping down here any second."

The man's eyes switched from glaring at Riku, to glaring at me. "_She's_ a local." I heard a breeze and for a moment, assumed I was going to be assaulted with a spear again – but I felt a hand seize my shoulder from behind. The man had teleported to stand behind me.

I immediately turned to slam my index and middle finger into his throat, but there was another breeze, and I stood in the middle of the entrance hall, once more behind Riku. Even that only lasted a moment, because he now teleported himself to stand inches from the man.

My attention was diverted by the freezing hand that gripped my right wrist – I looked over to see Xehanort standing there with a wicked grin on his face. "Let me teach you." He turned my hand palm-up – I struggled to get free of his grasp, but it was like he was made of lead. He looked down at my palm and I slammed my left fist into the top of his head. He didn't acknowledge it in any way.

His hands were freezing, one of them clutching my wrist, the other's middle finger stroking my palm in a straight line. I watched as a black liquid bubbled up through my pores, turning quickly into a black gas, hovering over my palm, dancing beneath Xehanort's finger as he pulled it away. "Now, try it on your enemy."

"I _won't_!" I snapped, yanking my arm back until Xehanort finally let me go. I stumbled backwards a little and he grinned at me cruelly.

"No… Try it on your lover."

He was suddenly behind me, his arms pressing against the back of mine, legs pressing against the back of mine. He hooked his head over my shoulder, hissing in my ear. "There's a good girl."

My appendages had no choice but to move with his, and I shut my eyes, searching for the strength to bring this idiocy to a halt.

_Something, I have to know _something_ that'll stop this. I have to. D-Dad told me… He told me to do the brave thing, to stand up against fear. So what am I afraid of? I'm afraid of—_

My hand made contact with the back of Riku's neck and my eyes flew open to see the darkness in my palm disappear beneath his hair as I stood behind him.

—_Riku dying because of me. But how do I take that on?_

His head turned to me in shock and the man threw another lance at us. I shoved Riku out of the way with my right hand and gripped the blade of the weapon flying towards me with my left – the impact was cushioned by a thick layer of darkness.

I was so angry – at this stranger, at Xehanort, at myself – I thought I would explode. My skin crawled, rage boiling beneath it, and I turned the spear in my hands, pointing it at the cocky idiot.

"This 'whore' is going to _kill_ you," I muttered.

Five lances, identical to the one in my hands, were poised at me, and this man had them ready to move without holding even one of them. He crossed his arms and stared at me with mild, disdainful interest. "Can't be a local," he mused.

I flew at him, ready to slam the spear into his throat – my arm got hooked on something and I was suddenly standing somewhere else, heart pounding in my ears, the weapon shattering in my hands. My chest heaved up and down, each breath holding a different cuss word. I didn't pay attention to our new locale, because I was still trying to figure out how I could feel so cold, but so heated with anger. I had never experienced this kind of raw fury, not even from what hormones had to offer.

"You tried to cover me in darkness," Riku said quietly.

"He knows you tried to kill him," whispered Xehanort in my ear. The pressure he'd been putting on my arms and legs had dissipated, and I couldn't tell if he'd gone away, or just sunk into me.

I leaned forward, clutching my head in my hands, the screams spilling out of me uncontrollably. "Auugh! _Fuck_!" A hand rested on my shoulder and I instinctively slapped it away, sinking to my knees, clutching my head again.

_I… I tried to kill him… I tried to kill everyone… I don't want to do that… I don't…_

"Yes, you do," whispered Xehanort.

"No, I don't!" I shouted, slamming my fist against the concrete beneath me. Now my hand throbbed, too. "Screw you, Xehanort, _screw you_! I'll kill myself before I kill him!"

"You won't be able to control yourself," he snickered.

"I'll find a way."

"Big talk for such a little puppet."

"Just watch me," I spat, glaring at the floor in front of me. _It'd be really nice to have DiZ here to tell me what's going on in my heart._ I swallowed and wiped my face with both hands, the anger slipping away and being replaced with determination. I realized I'd been crying when my hands were drenched in tears, and quickly wiped my face with my sleeve, standing up and turning to the silent Riku. "I'm sorry," I said, my voice cracking. "It's not going to happen again."

He moved his head and I figured he was rolling his eyes dramatically. "We both know you can't guarantee that."

"I'm _going_ to figure something out," I said, trying to convince myself more than him.

"Miyuki, I've been there. Hell, I _am_ there. There's nothing to do except…" He sighed, looking down and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Except what?"

He shook his head slowly, staring steadily at the floor and shrugging. "Accept it."

"Accept it? Accept the fact that Xehanort could murder you, using me, and there's nothing I could do about it?"

"Give me _some_ credit," he said, looking up at me through the blindfold. "Those abs that impaired your judgement aren't just for looks."

I shook my head, unamused by the remark that would usually lighten my mood. "I don't… know what to do." I looked down and crossed my arms. "I _am_ his puppet. He yammers on and on and I talk the talk but I don't walk at all." I shivered with cold and anxiety as a pause hung in the air.

"We're alive," he said.

I stared at him blankly. "Uh…"

"We're fucked up, but we're alive, right?"

I had to laugh at that – it was a short, light laugh, but it was a laugh nonetheless. "He even manages to make me smile while sounding pessimistic," I mumbled to myself.

His head snapped to his left and I looked to my right – a huge glass door looked into a large ballroom, wherein Beast and Belle were dancing. She wore a bright yellow dress, and he was dressed to the nines in a blue suit. My eyebrows flew up.

"Fancy," I mumbled.

"…Something's not right," Riku muttered, walking towards the door and peering in.

I stared at him a long moment. "You look like such a creep right now."

He smirked. "You really _are_ rubbing off on me."

I was about to spit back a snide response when he caught my wrist and we stood on the balcony lining the walls of the ballroom. "I see what you did, there. You did that just to avoid my reaction to your smartass remark. I see."

"Pay attention," he hissed, staring down at the ballroom beneath us.

I looked down to see Sora, Donald and Goofy going at it with some heartless I didn't recognize – Riku pointed to the man from before, who was sneaking out the door.

"Are we going to follow?"

"No. We're here to back up Sora, not baby-sit the Organization."

"But what if that guy's breaking out more heartless?"

"Then Sora will be _really_ strong by the time he's out of here."

I stared at the fight the trio was having down there, then turned around and leaned against the railing of the balcony, resting my elbows on it, my hands dangling on the edge beside me. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

"_T__he last time I hid from your Mom, I didn't get the chance to tell her it was only because I was embarrassed."_

_I can't hide anything from Riku. He's my lifeline. If someone else was my best friend… someone who didn't know what being used by darkness is like… I don't know if I could keep my head on straight. I hate being used, but he's right. We're alive. We're going to help Sora. We're not alone. Aside from the heart-devouring, body-manipulating demons infesting us, we're pretty well off._

"Demon?" scoffed that icy voice. "I'm no mere demon. I am a deity of darkness, little Kiki – a _god_."

I cracked one eye open and looked over to see… nothing. I stood upright and looked around – Riku was gone.

"Ri—?"

A finger tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around to see a figure sporting the Organization jacket that was thinner and slightly shorter than the figure I was hoping to see. I swallowed and quickly assessed which spell would be just subtle enough not to draw attention to myself, but powerful enough to make time to launch myself over the railing and somehow run out of the ballroom without anyone paying any mind.

"Looks like he's not as sharp as you thought," said the masculine figure, which now pushed the hood back. Shaggy black hair and bright green eyes smiled at me.

"Nemo?" I muttered.

The smile turned into a frown. "It's Orlando!"

I blinked hard and shook my head. "Oh, I— Wait, where's Riku?"

He shrugged and crossed his arms. "He's being detained. Hey, the Organization let me become a member!" He gestured to his coat with a bright smile, nodding.

I shook my head. "_Where is Riku_?"

"I made a deal with Xaldin, you won't get in any trouble. Actually, they're letting me hang out with you for a while. I don't have to RTC for like, three days!"

I stepped forward and gripped the front of Orlando's jacket, swinging him around and slamming him against the wall, the words out of my mouth before I could think. "Tell me the location of the Keyblade wielder before I rip your heart out."

He stared at me a long moment, looking hurt. "I don't know, they said they wouldn't kill him or anything, I just—"

I dropped his jacket and punched the wall beside his head. "They're _using you_!" I shouted.

"What? No way—"

"Yes way! _Listen_, they want to kill Riku because he's an impostor and he's a threat and I will bet my life on it that they want me gone, too."

"W-What if we ran away?"

He may as well have asked me to give him a lap dance. "Did they totally remove your brain, or _what_?" I hissed.

"I never got a chance!" he said, grabbing my hand. "I never got a chance to tell you that I don't want to lose you!"

My eyes widened with horror. "You only like me because I'm the only girl you _know_!"

"So? The 'why' doesn't matter as long as it's true! I feel it, Miyuki, right here!" He pointed to his chest.

"In your man-boobs?" I squeaked, ripping my hand from his.

"What? No! Miyuki, run away with me. We'll get out of this whole mess – we don't need to be involved!"

"Orlando, I _am_ involved."

"With one guy that doesn't even matter!"

My eyes narrowed at him. "He matters to _me_! Even if I wasn't involved with him, darkness has taken over my heart!"

"What? No! You were fighting it! You were going to fix me!" My glare turned into a blank stare. "I mean—no! Not that you'd fix me, just that, uhh…"

"What do you think I can do for you, Orlando?" I snapped.

He wiped his face with one hand. "No… no… This isn't how it's supposed to go."

"I don't have time for this. Riku's with Xaldin? Who's Xaldin?"

Orlando shook his head, staring at the floor. "It wasn't supposed to be this way…"

I was losing my temper again and shouted, "_Tell me who the fuck Xaldin is_!"

He jumped and looked up at me with a sort of horrified expression. "H-He's the member who's been assigned to the castle! He's like, obsessed with the rose!"

"With the dreadlocks?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Damn it!" I launched myelf over the railing of the balcony and landed on the ballroom floor, ignoring the pain in my knees and ankles and booking it out the door. I wavered at the landing of both staircases, and when I heard a thud on my right, I ran up to the hall there to see Riku and Xaldin – Xaldin, whose six lances were at Riku's neck, pinning him to the wall.

Xaldin's eyes snapped to me and he removed one of the spears from Riku's throat to launch it at me. There was no catching it, but the idea of pain didn't register. I felt it brush against the skin of my torso, but there was no sting, no throb. It fell to the floor and Xaldin now flung all the lances at me – it was like an out-of-body experience when I slipped between them effortlessly.

My hand reached Riku's face and yanked the blindfold up off of his head as Xaldin and his weapons vanished.

"I couldn't pry the damn thing off, with Xaldin at my throat," Riku growled.

"Xehanort was talking when they grabbed you," I growled back. "By the way, Orlando's been inducted. He's a member of the club," I said with a bitter smile.

"What? What's his new name?"

"What? He's just Orlando."

He shook his head slowly, staring at me, the wheels in his head turning. "They're definitely messing with his head."

"But he's with Axel. I thought Axel would protect him!"

"Not if they make him think he wants to be their puppet."

_I am _so sick_ of manipulation_, I thought. "What the hell are we gonna do _now_? We missed our chance to beat Xaldin, and now Orlando—"

"Miyuki, do you even realize what just happened to you?"

I stared at him blankly. "I guess I don't…?"

"You are…" He snorted, looking me over. "…_drenched_ in darkness."

I looked down at myself – nothing looked different. "How can you tell?" I asked.

"You just look like this black flaming figure…"

I swallowed. "Please tell me you've experienced this before."

"No two hearts are the same, so I guess no two dark powers are the same…" He arched an eyebrow, looking me over again.

"—Okay, as much as I appreciate the ego-boost involved in you checking me out, I'd appreciate it if we got back to the 'what now' part!"

He looked back up at my eyes. "We can't do anything for Orlando. If he's convinced that he's on their side, so much that not even Axel could change his mind—"

"Do you even know if Axel would _try_?"

He stuck his tongue in his cheek, shaking his head.

"I don't know if I _want_ to help the little bugger. He tried to get me to _run away_ with him. I don't _run away_ from things!"

Riku's head froze in place. "Run away with him?"

"He said it's bad that my heart is filled with darkness because now I can't 'fix' him! Now I'm pissed again." I looked back towards the staircase, considering hunting him down and kicking him in the nuts. "I'll 'fix' him, alright," I growled.

"No. Our first priority is helping Sora," Riku said, grabbing my shoulder with one hand and pointing to the room at the end of the hall with the other. He slid his hand down to my elbow and tugged me with him towards the door, pressing one finger to his lips to keep me quiet. We stood outside the door and listened – Beast was telling Belle, in his scratchy, low voice, to leave, because he was too terrible.

This conversation sounded far too familiar. I was the product of darkness that Riku had tied into my heart. I'd gladly take it, to be with him, but the realisation of how different things could've been became painfully clear as Riku teleported us to the dark, shadowy corner of the hall, Belle walking out of the door we once stood so near by. If I had walked away from Riku, how much more sane would I feel? And how much more miserable and emtpy would I have felt?

I slid my fingers into Riku's. Being a flaming ball of darkness was worth it – even if I was beginning to feel the icey burn of the flames I had so easily ignored moments ago.

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**Thank you so much for all your reviews on the last one. It makes my day! X3 I hope you guys have an amazing weekend. ^-^**


	55. Chapter 55 Tone of a Triumphant Conquest

**Alright, so I'm probably taking them through these worlds all out of order. I haven't played KHII in like, a year, and my PS2 is jacked up, so I can't go back through & play everything. So this won't be totally accurate as far as following the game. :x**

**Also, Rachel is Batman's sweetheart, so bear that reference in mind. At least… that's what her name is in the movies… I don't really remember the cartoons/comics that well. -._-.**

"What the hell is he doing?" I whispered, staring down at the bridge of Beast's Castle, sitting on the edge of the roof with Riku standing beside me. Xaldin had Belle in one hand and a bell jar with a rose inside in the other. Sora, Donald, Goofy and Beast were talking to him, their voices too faint to make out what they were saying.

"He's trying to manipulate Beast."

I rolled my eyes, and the motion irritated my skin. "I might've known."

We fell silent and watched as Belle elbowed Xaldin in the gut, grabbed the rose and ran like a girl towards the castle. It was a smart thing to do, taking the rose and running – but she was definitely more prone to the literary side of things. Her "run" looked more like a prance.

My eyes snapped back to Sora, who was now wielding the keyblade and going at it with Xaldin – as were Beast, Donald and Goofy. They all seemed to be getting in some good shots – Xaldin even looked a little overwhelmed.

I looked over at Riku, ignoring the burning sensation I stirred up. "Now how come _you_ can't do that?" I said.

He looked over at me and I could feel the glare, even through the blindfold. "Hey, he caught me off guard and I had my blindfold on. I couldn't release my full power on him with that thing holding me back."

"Excuses, excuses."

"And _you_ only got rid of him because Xehanort drenched you in darkness."

"But I still got rid of him," I said, smiling smugly.

"And you must be _so proud_…"

"You should be proud, too! You're the one who trained me."

"What got rid of Xaldin was nothing but scare tactics. You looked like Hades and Aphrodite's love child."

I snorted. "Thank you? I think?"

He shrugged. "It's impressive, honestly. I've never seen anything like this before. No wonder Xehanort wanted your heart so badly."

I stared at him a long moment, sifting through the emotions those words provoked. _Flattered, I'm flattered. And… really pissed at Xehanort. And I'm a little scared that Batman has never seen anything like what happened to me… What happens if Xehanort makes me stronger than Riku?_

I leaned my head against Riku's leg, doing my best to ignore the searing pain of the cloth making contact with my burning skin.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Yeah. It just… kinda hurts." _Okay, that's an understatement…_

He gently pushed my head away from his leg with his forefinger, then stepped around and knelt behind me. I turned my head to look back at him, but he pushed on my face to keep me looking forward. I heard the soft _shiff_ of moving fabric and watched as he reached over my head with both hands, wrapping the blindfold over my eyes. He tightened the knot and his fingertips brushed against the back of my shoulder – my skin wasn't agitated by the contact, and the burning had died away. It was replaced with chills as a breeze kicked up, and a shiver ran up my spine.

My eyes were open, but I could barely see. I knew that somewhere in front of me was a light – the moon, as I'd seen it earlier – but other than that, I was totally blind.

"Feel better?" Riku asked, his voice low and quiet, but perfectly clear; he had to be about three inches from my ear.

I nodded silently, suddenly unable to speak. His arms wrapped around my waist, tugging me back, hooking his head over my right shoulder.

"You think this is how your story will end?" an icy voice hissed in my left ear.

I shook my head a little. _I thought this blindfold suppressed darkness? I'm not burning anymore but this is torture…_

"What?" Riku asked, his voice extremely quiet compared to the icey tone speaking over him.

"Your hearts are covered in darkness – there is no _happy ending_ for you."

I shook my head again. "He's so loud," I mumbled.

"I can barely hear him…" Riku sounded a little confused, and his arms tightened around me.

"Your heart belongs to me, now. It's foolish to think otherwise," Xehanort hissed.

"No, it's my body that you've got ahold of. It's foolish not to make a distinction between the two," I growled. I was really starting to miss my eyesight – I didn't like being so vulnerable when Xehanort was bitching at me – but I didn't want to feel the darkness burning my skin again.

"Miyuki, can we talk?"

This was not the voice I wanted to distract me from Xehanort. This was not the voice I wanted to distract me from Riku. Orlando's was not the voice I would want to distract me from a giant gaping hole in my chest, but Orlando's voice is the voice that addressed me now. Eyesight gone, the only clue I had as to where he was, was that his voice came from the right. I did not mind having Riku's face separate Orlando and I.

There was an awkward silence hanging in the air when I finally found the words.

"I'm kind of _busy_," I growled. Riku exhaled with a small "hm", and I could've sworn it was with the tone of a triumphant conquest. I was about to pull off the blindfold to shoot a look at Riku and lay a glare on Orlando, but Riku now released my waist and stood up. I wasn't sure what this meant, so I just sat there stupidly.

"Look, I just want to talk with her," Orlando said.

"She doesn't feel like talking," Riku and I said in unison.

"Miyuki, listen, they said you were the key to getting my life back!"

I pulled up one side of the blindfold and peered up at him. "What life are you _lacking_?"

"I'm still a heartless! They explained to me how your heart was so full of light, that I got my original form back. If I stick around you long enough, I'm bound to get my heart back, too!"

"You only ever hung around me because you sensed the darkness in my heart!" I squeaked, pulling the blindfold off and standing up. The burning slowly started coming back to my skin and I tried to shove the pain out of my mind. "Look, I don't care what they said to you, they're only after Kingdom Hearts! Their _last_ interest is how to help you."

"I'm an asset for them!" he said, shaking his head at me.

"No, you idiot, you're a _puppet_ to them! And believe me, I _know_ what puppetry looks like!"

Riku looked over at me and his eyebrows popped up. He looked over at Orlando, reassembling his expression to one of boredom. "You might want to leave."

"The Organization is no good for you," I said, pointing at Orlando. "You're going to die if you keep hanging around them."

He shook his head. "They've done more for me than you ever have," he replied bitterly.

"Nemo, come _on_!" I shouted. "They're going to—!"

"It's Orlando!" he snapped, cutting me off. "But I guess I'll always just be a stupid little shadow to you, right?" He shook his head, backing away, a dark corridor opening behind him.

"You're going to _die_!" I shouted, but he and the corridor disappeared before the last word was out. My chest heaved up and down with each angry breath, and Riku and I stood there silently a long moment.

"Looks like Sora won," he said quietly, pointing at the bridge, where Xaldin was immaterializing.

I swallowed. "A happy ending to _that_ story," I muttered.

Riku walked over to the blindfold, which I had dropped in the fit of yelling Orlando spurred on. "You want this back?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I want to be able to see."

"You sure?"

I looked over at him and arched an eyebrow. "You seem a little too eager for me to agree."

"Only a little?" he smirked, tying the cloth over his eyes.

I crossed my arms, then quickly dropped them to my side when the pain of contact made my shoulders tense. "You can honestly rely on your other senses to get around in that thing?"

"I've told you that before, haven't I?"

"Yeah, but I mean, fighting Xaldin with that thing covering your eyes…" My eyes narrowed. "Your other senses have to be _so_ acute."

He took my hand, the sudden contact making me inhale sharply with pain, and we stood at the edge of the gates, behind Sora and his friends. "We should go check in on everyone at Radiant Garden," Sora said. _They know people in Radiant Garden…?_ "I bet Leon wouldn't mind help with the Restoration Committee." _How do they know about the Restoration Committee?_

"Let's get some rest first!" Donald squawked.

"Yeah! That Xaldin fella wore me out!" Goofy's voice sounded like a holler, even though its volume wasn't too loud. _I guess that's how it goes when you're a dog_.

"You're welcome to the guest rooms in the castle," Belle said.

"No no no, we don't want to impose!" Donald said quickly. "We'll go to the inn."

They bid each other good-bye and Riku and I now stood just outside the gates, hidden in the shadow of the first in the line of trees.

"I can't believe they know Leon," I whispered, half to myself.

Riku's head turned from the path, to me. "Who's Leon?"

"Him, Cid, Yuffie, Aerith… They all took care of me when I landed in Traverse Town." I shook my head. "I didn't go to Radiant Garden with them because that was their home, not mine."

He nodded a very little, and turned his attention back to the path, where Sora, Donald and Goofy were walking back to town, talking and laughing amongst themselves. Once they were out of earshot, I whispered, "Looks like we can't yell and cuss at each other tonight, or we'll be busted." I snorted. "That is, if he'd recognize your voice. It must be ten times deeper than the last time you two spoke."

"Mostly because, without the blindfold, I sound like Xehanort." _I wonder… if I'll start to look like…?_ "DiZ would be so intrigued by your heart right now," he muttered.

I laughed hollowly. "Ha! Who _wouldn't_ be? I mean, it's _so_ influenced by darkness, that I feel like I have first-degree burns all over."

"Curaga?" Riku said, and though he spoke it like a suggestion, he'd already cast it.

The hand he had ahold was covered in a sort of coolness, the gentle chill sliding up my arm and spreading all through me. "I don't know why I didn't think of that," I said, staring at him blankly.

He shrugged. "That's what I'm here for."

"To think for me?" I arched an eyebrow at him.

"I was going to say 'save your skin', but alright, I'll think for you."

I punched him in the shoulder and was pleased when it didn't feel like a cheese grater scraping across my knuckle. "Since when did Batman get so cocky?"

"Since Rachel started rubbing off on him," he replied.

My eyes narrowed. "Who's this 'Rachel' person?"

"Wouldn't _you_ like to know."

"I will hunt her down and eat her soul."

"Getting a little possessive, aren't you, Robin?"

"I'm allowed to be possessive! You still owe me!"

"Oh, please." He rolled his eyes.

"You remember what I told you? A pony, and rollerblades, and shiny things. That is how you are to repay me."

"But you stole from my heart anyway, so we're even."

"I didn't steal _nearly_ as much from you as you stole from me!"

He looked at his wrist, dropping my hand and walking on the side of the trees that hid him from the path. "Look at the time…"

I stomped after him, wagging my finger at the back of his head. "Nice try, pal. I know where you sleep."

"I should hope so. It's always right near you."

My steps slowed, my face turning red. "You know, you'd be a real creep if I wasn't into you!"

There was a soft breeze behind me, and I felt warm hands hook around my waist. "As long as you're into me. Let's go grab dinner, I'm starving."

This was all very flustering and I found myself tripping over words. "B-But where? There's—I mean, Sora will be at the inn—" That was where we'd gotten lunch earlier today. "—and there isn't exactly a multitude of restaurants around here."

"I have an idea."

Ten seconds passed as Riku teleported us closer and closer into town, always tucking us in the darkest corner of the road, or building – and now we stood in a room that smelled like cilantro and oranges. I scrunched my nose at the intense scent and looked around – all I could see were dark, immobile shapes. Riku's hands slid away from my waist and I heard him mutter "Fire," behind me. The room was lit up with a warm orange glow and I saw several wheelbarrows filled with oranges, apples and peaches surrounding me. Each wheelbarrow had a little sign hanging on the sign – ten munny for an apple, twenty for an orange, thirty for a peach.

Peaches were my nutritional weak spot. I reached for my messenger bag, where I kept my munny – I didn't want to just steal, not if it was going to be a whole meal – but I didn't have it.

"Oh, shit," I whispered. _Let me see, the last time I had it was… I remember having it outside the gates of the castle… And then Riku and I duked it out… And…_ I wiped my face with one hand. "Riku, do you know where my messenger bag is?"

"Hm?" he replied absentmindedly, distracted with balancing the fire in one hand and the apple he had in the other.

"My bag! My messenger bag! Oh, god, I lost it, didn't I—?" He walked over and stuck his apple in my mouth to cut me off. I glared at him. "Wuzzat rully nusussery?" I asked, my words garbled around the fruit. He looked down at his jacket and yanked the zipper down, revealing his abs which had so successfully impaired my judgement before, and were now working on impairing it again. Determined to keep cool, I fixed my eyes on the top of his downturned head as he reached into his jacket.

"Oh, damn it," he muttered, and chucked the fire onto the ground, the room becoming completely dark again.

I pulled the apple out of my mouth. "Do you have my bag, then?"

"Yeah, but the stupid thing—" There was a soft _chink_, like two little pieces of metal had collided. "—It broke the zipper, but here it is." The bag pressed against my free arm and I grabbed it with a death grip.

_Never letting it out of my sight again. Ever. _I'd scared myself half to death, thinking I'd lost it.

"Fire," muttered Riku, and I smiled when I saw his face in the warm orange glow again.

"Such a hero," I said.

"Mhm," he replied dismissively, grabbing the apple out of my hand and walking over to the wheelbarrow again.

I stared at him blankly, that reaction being much less inventive than I'd expected. "And so, having reunited the girl with her sanity, our hero abandons her for things of greater importance. Like food."

"Oh, shut up." A peach hit me upside the head.

* * *

**Thank you for your reviews on the last chapter! ^^ The next chapter won't be this short, I promise.**


	56. Chapter 56 Fireflies!

**I find that I now giggle when I see people supporting the RikuxSora relationship, because I imagine the reaction Riku would have to it and the teasing he would endure. (Er, I mean, the Riku in **_**my**_** story, to be fair.)**

Juice from the peach trickled down my wrist as I sat down beneath an oak tree at the edge of town, setting my messenger bag beside me. A sort of quaint feeling settled over me; I hadn't felt this way since… the ice cream parlor. I arched a cynical eyebrow at Riku as he tugged off his blindfold, jacket and gloves.

"What exactly are you—?"

"I'm sick of this thing," he growled, pulling another apple out chucking his black garb onto the ground to my right. As he went to sit beside me, I realized he was wearing a very familiar yellow vest – it was unzipped, and must've been hiding in the shadows of the jacket when we were scavenging for fruit.

"You still wear that?" I mumbled.

"What made you think I didn't?"

I shrugged, shaking my head, the quaint feeling turning extremely nostalgic. "I don't know. It's just… really nice."

He blinked a couple times – I could've sworn his face turned the slightest shade of red – then looked at my hand. "Wipe your hand off. You're making a mess." He took a massive bite of his apple, leaning his back against the massive tree trunk we sat against.

I licked my wrist free of juice as a brief silence passed.

"Riku, do you think… I'm… effecting you?"

He looked at me with an expression that was a mixture of confusion and disbelief. "I guarantee it."

I shook my head. "I don't think that came out right. What I meant was… Well, our hearts are connected, right? So… now that my heart's succumb to darkness…" I didn't really have the brain power to finish that sentence, and ended up staring at him, waiting for him to complete the thought.

"Yeah?" he pressed.

I shifted in my seat, turning towards him a little more. "Well, what do you think it's going to do to your heart?"

He smiled a very little, and looked straight ahead, at the empty field leading away from town. "Who knows?" He took another bite of his apple. "Strip me of my innocence, maybe."

I snorted and arched an eyebrow at him. "Innocence? You?"

"Yes."

"When you were five, maybe, but I'm thinking _you've_ been the bad influence on everyone _else_ since you hit puberty."

"Someone had to influence me before I could influence anyone else."

"I have a feeling that 'the talk' is all it'd take."

"Never had it."

My eyebrows popped up. "Really? Your parents never…?"

He shrugged. "My Mom was never too… interested in me. And my Dad just wanted to teach me to be a man, which amounted to fishing, sports, and school."

"Oh. Lame." I twisted my lips to one side.

He hung his head a little, his gaze lowering to the ground beside him. "Guess I don't have _those_ problems anymore…"

I bit my lip, not knowing what to say. I ended up just letting another silence fall, finishing off my peach and staring at the pit, which I had dedicatedly cleared of all peachy remains. _Waste not, want not._ Riku had almost finished his apple, and I waited until he'd gotten to the core to stand up.

"I bet I can throw this pit farther than you can throw that core," I said. He stared up at me incredulously a moment. "Whats'a matter, pretty boy? You afraid you're gonna get beat by a girl?"

"'Pretty boy'?"

"With your long, gorgeous hair." I fluffed the bottom of my own 'do.

He stood up and held the core up in front of my face. "How do you expect to see this in the middle of a pitch-black, dark field?" he challenged.

I put my hand on his shoulder and looked at him very seriously. "_You_ will be my light." I turned away from him, leaned back, and chucked the pit into the field with all my might. I lost sight of it about ten feet out, of course, but I felt victorious that it was flying out there at a decent speed.

Riku chucked his apple core out there next, and it disappeared at the same point my peach pit did.

"Now, light of mine," I got behind him and pushed him towards the field. "Go hunt them down and let's play again."

He snorted. "I think not." He turned and grabbed my upper arms, turning so that my back was to the field and he was pushing me towards it. "If you're so keen on the idea, why don't _you_ do it?"

"No thanks!" I grabbed his elbows and began to trade places with him again, but spinning him was difficult when he had ahold of my arms. I stepped to the side and my foot caught over his – trying to regain balance, I hooked one hand around his side, but that only succeeded in making things more awkard. My knees planted on either side of his right foot, my right arm hooked around his knees, my head hanging at his right side. I tried to support my weight with my left hand on the ground, but I couldn't shift my weight from his knees soon enough, and he waved his arms up and down a couple times before cussing and collapsing backwards.

He was holding himself upright by his elbows, knees pulled halfway up, my arm still wrapped around the back of them. We stared at each other a moment before I started laughing.

"You looked so wigged out," I snickered. "Like those cartoons where the people halt at the edge of a cliff, and flap their arms everywhere."

He shook his head, laughing a little, and very softly. "If _that's_ the effect your heart is going to have on mine, I'm in deep shit."

I smiled and rested my chin on his knee. "I didn't realize I _mpaired your judgement_ so much."

He snorted. "Like hell you didn't."

There was an unsettled pause, and I felt my face going red, so I held up my left hand and observed the dirt I'd ground into it. "Geez, it's not enough that I get burnt, I have to scrape up my hand, too…"

His legs tensed up and, though I was very devoted to studying my palm, I saw him lean forward in my peripherals. "Miyuki," he said quietly.

"Myes?" My face was extremely warm now that his was so close to it.

His right hand slid around the back of my left and he pulled it towards his face, turning it to examine the damage. He slid his hand around my wrist and wiped the dirt away with his thumb. He turned my palm back towards me, sliding his gaze back to mine. "It's not that fascinating," he said.

I swallowed and my arm tensed around his legs. "Well when you put it like that," I mumbled. His eyes drifted down my face and I became suddenly aware of how little distance there was between us, and just how little distance I wanted there to be.

Warm lips brushed against mine and I slid my left hand around his neck, the pulse beneath his skin slamming against my palm. He bent his right leg beneath his left, like he was going to cross his legs indian-style, but my hand was hooked around his left leg and I wasn't letting go. His right hand slid down my arm, fingertips trailing down my side, halting at my hip.

There was a soft shuffling behind us – was I imagining it? I turned my head to look back, and the second Riku's lips disconnected from mine, they reconnected with my neck.

"D'you hear that?" I whispered.

He exhaled, tilting his forehead against the crook of my neck. "Hear what?" He traced his fingers down my neck, wavering at the hollow of my throat before sliding down to the middle of my breastbone, just at the collar of my shirt. He tapped it gently. "Heartbeat?" he guessed, and leaned back just enough to bring his lips to mine again.

"FIREFLIES!"

The obnoxious cry from behind us scared me so badly that I think I kicked Riku's shin as I scrambled to back away.

"God damn it, Sora," Riku muttered, and just as I turned to see the face of he who had interrupted such an intense moment, I found myself staring at a tree trunk that was no more than two inches from my face.

My eyebrows popped up. "I had no idea trees were so loud," I mumbled.

"It figures, he had to see some stupid bugs," Riku muttered. I looked over and he was already standing up, his jacket zipped halfway up. He stuffed the gloves and blindfold into his pockets and held his hand out to me as I threw the strap of my messenger bag over my shoulder. "C'mon," he commanded.

"Yes, sir," I remarked, gripping his hand in mine and tugging myself to my feet. I had to confess that seeing him so angry at Sora was pretty amusing, even if our parade had just been rained on.

When we finally hit our room at the inn – which, as far as anyone else knew, we'd never left – Riku stormed over to the corner of the room, chucking his jacket into it.

"Every fuckin' time," he growled, and sat on the edge of the bed farthest from me, his back to me. I sat on the edge nearest me, laying the bag on the floor, watching him silently as he ripped off his shoes and vest and tossed them into the corner with a bit less ferocity. He looked over at me suddenly. "I _can_ sleep on the bed like this, right?" he snapped.

I tried not to laugh, nodding silently as I pried my converse off.

He laid on the bed and flopped onto his side, keeping his back to me. I laid on my back and folded my hands on my stomach, staring at him from the corner of my eyes. "You mad?" I asked quietly.

"Just… tired, I guess."

"Oh." I nodded slowly, even though he wouldn't see. I grinned. _He's such a little boy._ I sat up a little, propping my elbow on my pillow and peeking over his shoulder at his face. His hair was covering most of it – which I found unacceptable. I stretched my arm across his torso and brushed his hair back, leaning down and kissing his cheek. "Goodnight, pretty boy." I scooted back to my side of the bed and flipped so that my back was to his.

"_Look what I found!"_

_A paopu hits me upside the head, and I manage to catch it before it hits me upside the head. I smile at the star-shaped fruit and look up at the person who threw it at me – it's Xehanort's body, but if I look closely, I can see teal behind his gold irises. "You could've just _handed_ it to me, Riku," I said, waving the paopu in the air._

"_And _you_ could've just stayed here, but that's too boring."_

_I don't remember where I was standing at the beginning of this dream, but I now found myself sitting down in the ice cream parlor, my fingers digging into the paopu with a death grip. Something bad is about to happen; I know it is._

"_What's that?" Dad asks, pointing to my hand._

_I expect to see the paopu when I look down, but I see a dark red, heart-shaped glass a bit bigger than my fist sitting in my palm. Hoping my Dad still sees a paopu in my hand, I answer, "A gift."_

_He arches a suspicious eyebrow. "From a boy?"_

"_Mhm."_

_I don't know where he gets it, but he now swings a knife down on the heart, driving the blade down through it and my palm. I want to scream for help, but my voice didn't work. Throbbing pain spreads through my hand, up into my arm, and as blood pools on the table and spills into my lap, I realize my arm is turning black. I try to tug my arm away from the table, but the knife has me and the heart pinned there._

_I look up at my Dad, about to plead for help, and realize that Xehanort's body is sitting there, arms crossed, eyes on his lap. _

"_Riku?" _

_Golden eyes flit to mine and I see no trace of teal. A smile spreads across his face and he leans towards me. "Hello, Kiki. Let's talk about the position you're in." _

_I look to my right, where my father's body is spread across the floor, heartless trampling over him, running around madly. I look at my arm, which is throbbing and aching with untolerable pain. A freezing hand pulls my chin forward and I focus on Xehanort once more._

"_Your abilities would be quite impressive, if you'd accept the fact that darkness is in your heart."_

"_But I have," I gasp._

"_I'm referring to your physical acceptance. You still fear the power within you."_

"_I fear _nothing_!"_

_He laughs. "You would be so powerful, if you'd just follow your words through."_

_He was right and I hated him for it. I looked over to my father's body – but it was gone. I glared at Xehanort. "What do you _want_!"_

"_Don't fight me again."_

"_Don't hurt Riku again!"_

_He smiles. "If you swear not to resist my power, I swear never to use you to harm Riku. Deal?" He reaches one hand out towards me, but I can't shake it; my hand's weighed down with a heart and pinned down by a knife._

My eyes slide open and for a moment, all I see is a mass of grey. I yawned and tucked my head deeper into the pillows, shutting my eyes tightly – there was a low grunt right in my ear and they flew back open. I had curled into a fetal position on my side, and a very pale, muscular arm was wrapped around my shoulders. His forehead was tilted against mine, his eyes shut, brow furrowed. I had no idea how to react to this. My life had not prepared me for this sort of situation.

He blinked a few times and I snapped my eyes shut, pretending to sleep. He shifted a bit and his arm suddenly lifted from my torso. Blankets were yanked from beneath me and there was a thud, followed by "Damn it!"

I cracked one eye open and saw nothing next to me but an arm clinging the mattress. I sat up and peeked over the edge to see Riku sitting on the floor, blankets wound around his knees and ankles.

"What did you _do_?" I asked, snickering at him.

He glared at me. "What does it _look_ like I did?"

"It looks like you freaked out and fell over."

"I did _not_ freak out." He swatted the blankets away from his legs, and I noted the red tint on his cheeks.

"What were you _doing_ last night?" I asked, narrowing my eyes in mock-horror.

He stood up and flipped me the bird, walking over to his vest and tugging it on.

"Your finger does not scare me," I said, sitting up and pulling my ribbon out my hair. I rolled my head, cracking my neck and sitting cross-legged.

"So… Are you gonna want to hang out with your friends in Radiant Garden?" he asked, tugging his gloves on.

"Oh. I… don't know." I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and pulled my converse on. "I'd probably run into Sora if I tried hanging with them at the same time he did."

He nodded silently. "I don't think it'd mess anything up if you met him."

My eyebrows popped up as I hooked my messenger bag over my head and shoulder. I wasn't expecting him to be so favourable about it. "Really?" I walked over to him and grabbed his arm, steadying him as he pulled his shoes on.

"I mean, don't tell him _I'm_ hanging around." He looked over, pulling the blindfold out. I took it from his hand and turned him, reaching up around his head and wrapping the blindfold over his eyes.

"Can I tell him I know you?"

"Ah… He'd probably pester you about it, but if you want to, I guess."

I tightened the knot and rested my hands on the back of his shoulders. "I don't know…" _It'd feel kind of wrong to hang out with them without you there… But who knows when I'll get to see them again? So much has been happening…_ "I think I'll just pretend I'm clueless."

"Pretend?"

I ignored that and stepped back, raising my hands in mock-confusion. "Where am I? Who are you?"

He snorted. "There are so many replies I could give. So many."

"Will any of them disturb me more than the reply you just gave me?"

He smirked. "I'd lose my air of mystery if I answered that." He seemed to realize something, and the smirk faded. "Are you going to be okay going through a dark corridor?"

I shrugged. "Didn't seem to bother me the last time I went through one." I snorted. "Then again, I was distracted, seeing as how I _was_ lugging around a sack of—"

"Hey, now."

"—potatoes. What'd you think I was going to say?"

"Something worse than potatoes. And that's true, you _did_ get us through a dark corridor of your own volition."

"So what's the hold up, Batman? We have people to stalk."

He raised a thin, silver eyebrow at me. "Do you think you could open a corridor again?"

I stared at him a minute. "You _want_ me to use darkness?"

"I told you, the only way to deal with it is to accept it. Ignoring it won't help."

Icey words echoed in my mind. _"You still fear the power within you."_ I swallowed. "Okay, so maybe you're right." He snorted. "Fine, fine! You're right! But I don't know how to summon it. I only ever open one when there's no other way out."

"Really?"

"I don't even know where I'd begin," I said, shrugging. "Hey, what if _you_ taught me?"

He shook his head. "It's second nature to me. I'd have nothing to teach."

"You really don't remember what it was like when you started using darkness?"

"I don't remember how I knew what to do with it."

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Then you're going to have to open the corridor."

"Alright." He held one hand out and the black swirling portal materialized at our sides.

"—Hey, wait, what about checking out of the inn?"

He rolled his eyes. "Forgot about that." He started to walk towards the door, but I grabbed his sleeve and stopped him.

"No, no. I've got a better idea."

"Heaven help us. What now?"

"Do you have any ketchup? Or some other red liquid?"

"No, Miyuki, you are not going to terrorize the people of this inn."

"Aw, c'mon!"

"Let's go pay."

I sighed heavily and hooked my arm around his, following him out the door and into the hall. "You get to be a rapist pedophile. You get to freak out the cop and scare Career Girl Barbie. But no, two seconds of scaring villagers, and I'm a terrible prankster."

"These people will have a witch hunt if you freak them out," he replied.

"Whatever, jerk."

"Crybaby."

"Pretty boy."

"Antagonist."

At the end of the hall, at the top of the stairs, you could look out over the restaurant on the first floor – where Sora, Donald and Goofy were paying for their stay. The second Riku caught sight of them, he tugged us back into the hall and covered us with a wall of darkness.

"Scaredy-cat!" I hissed.

* * *

**The love I hold for all of my readers is immeasurable. You are all so nice to me ;u;**


	57. Chapter 57 His Real Name Is Squall

Stepping through the dark corridor was like walking through any other door – I didn't even feel that cold rush of air wash over me per usual. _So this is what it's like to be used to darkness?_

The second I stepped out to the top of the marketplace, there was a white flash on the ground, to my left, and I was shoved to my right. I gripped the low wall lining the stairs to the rest of the marketplace, looking around furiously for whatever had just attacked me. Riku had just stepped out, and now stepped aside as thin white rings materialized beneath his feet. He arched a thin eyebrow at me as the dark corridor vanished.

"What's with _you_?" he scoffed.

"What's with those lights?" I gestured wildly at the ground. "I feel like Scotty's about to beam me up!"

He pulled up his hood, hiding the smirk spreading across his face. "Keep on your toes, Robin," he remarked. "And try to keep from testing your new powers out on Sora." He vanished before I could reply, and I scanned the rooftops for his figure – he'd hidden himself well.

"Thank god I'm on _your_ side," I muttered, walking down the steps. "You can be a scary son of—" There was a soft buzz behind me and I was shoved down the steps – not a pleasant prospect. I threw my hands out in front of me to keep from smashing my face against the ground when I fell, but they slammed against black leather and the solid figure inside it, and I was able to keep on my toes, per Riku's orders.

"Sorry! I tripped. I'm really sorry." I backed up, looking around for the next beam of insolence while the poor man I ran into turned to face me.

"I don't believe it," he muttered, and I looked bac up at him. Dark blue eyes were framed by long brown hair, divided by a scar across the bridge of his nose.

"Squall?" I said.

He glared at me. "It's been this long and you _still_ haven't forgotten what Yuffie taught you."

I smiled. "I always _did_ think Leon was a boring name for you."

"Damn brat. Still don't listen, do you?"

"What made you think _that_ would change?"

"Everything else seems to. What the heck are you wearing? What's with the purse?"

I took a deep breath. "Wow, so much has happened."

He stared at me a long moment. "…_How_ much?" he said cautiously.

"Chill your buns, _Mom_, I've got news about my _past_. As in, the one I had when I met you."

His eyebrows popped up. "Really?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, I'm joking, I bought this bag off of a very nice man with a needle in his arm," I said sarcastically.

"I _knew_ I shouldn't have let you go traveling alone. C'mon, Yuffie's going to want to see you." He started walking across the marketplace, me at his right. "How'd you get back here, anyway?"

"_I was dropped off by Riku, Sora's best friend." Um, no, not gonna say that._ "I can teleport between worlds now, obviously! Get with the times!" I said, half-jokingly. He arched a cynical brow. He wasn't buying it. I hung my head. "It's a long story."

"Well, we have time. –Don't we?"

I nodded. "Yeah." _Just as long as Sora—_

"Miyuki!" Yuffie came bounding down the steps on far side of the marketplace, tackling me in a hug when she reached me. She stepped back and looked me over, landing her eyes on me and smiling wide. "You keep looking so grown-up. It wigs me out! You been killing a lot of heartless? 'Cause really, we could use some help. Cid made some slipshod machine to keep monsters away…" I heard a buzzing at my left, behind Squall, and stepped forward a little. _Oh. Their system thinks I'm a monster. Great._ "…but his machine isn't half as powerful as it'd have to be, to get rid of these new buggers. Sora and his pals called 'em nobodies – we just call 'em _annoying_."

I smiled. "Has Cid given up trying to cook yet?"

She sighed dramatically. "_No_. Last time, he made this absolutely _awful_ stew—"

"It wasn't bad," Squall interjected.

She shot him a look. "It tasted like feet." She looked back at me. "But I'm betting you have better stories than we do! Our lone wolf, exploring the worlds, traveling all on her own."

_If you only knew how _not_ on my own I've been…_ "'Our lone wolf'? Now _there's_ an oxymoron," I snorted.

She stuck her tongue out at me. "Become snarkier from your travels, yeah?"

"That's not the _half_ of it."

"I guess it isn't; you look like a peasant. Why so folksy?" she asked, tilting her head.

I shrugged. "My old clothes got dirty, there was no way to wash them, so I bought some of the locals' garb." I took a deep breath. _How do I even sum everything up for them?_ "I have a lot to explain," I said, glancing at Squall as I spoke. "Let's go find somewhere to sit and talk, yeah?" I caught the word and almost laughed at myself. It took exactly one minute to pick Yuffie's habits back up.

"Let's grab a seat in the borough," Squall said, and started walking again, Yuffie stepping beside me as we matched his pace.

I cleared my throat. "Well, I went to this place called Twilight Town. I had the normal contract going with the mayor, and was clearing out heartless when I saw this person in a black coat. And I had that thing about being sensitive to darkness, remember? So I thought he was somethng like a heartless…"

"Wait – '_had_ that thing about being sensitive to darkness'? What happened to it?" Yuffie asked.

"See, it's going to take a lot longer if you don't let me just keep rambling," I said gently.

"Oh. Go ahead."

About an hour passed as we sat at the top of the borough, looking down on Merlin's house, where they'd been staying with Cid and Aerith. I attempted to summarize everything that'd happened – Yuffie had listened to me and neither she or Squall interrupted me a second time. Yuffie nodded a lot, and Squall kept giving me this sidelong glance, like he didn't believe me.

I hesitated after I explained what happened at Beast's Castle. _Riku doesn't want Sora knowing he's here… Actually, I don't think he wants _anyone_ knowing he's here except me._ "Riku wanted to go make sure things were alright with DiZ, so we agreed that I'd stay with you guys and help Sora if he needs it." Squall exhaled sharply, and I was now very curious as to what exactly he was thinking.

Yuffie looked like she had a question – I could tell because the little smart-ass was raising her hand.

"You have my permission to speak," I said grandly.

She pointed at me. "So your heart is filled with darkness because of this bum?"

"Because our hearts are connected."

"But he chose darkness and now you're covered in darkness because of his choice, yeah?"

"Yep, that's about right."

"I want to meet him," Squall said.

I looked over at him, eyebrows raised. "I want you to meet him, too." _The entertainment value would be priceless._ "But he's such a weirdo about not meeting up with Sora yet…"

"I'm sure we'll figure something out," he muttered, standing up. His eyes flickered to the right before he turned and headed for the stairs, walking down to Merlin's house.

"Your sweetheart doesn't mind _you_ meeting Sora, does he?" Yuffie asked, winking at me.

"As long as I don't let on where he is, he doesn't care." I shrugged. "Hey, is it just me, or is Squall mad at Riku?"

She smiled. "You know him. Remember that kid that had a crush on you back in Traverse Town, when you were like, twelve?"

I wiped my face in one hand. "I don't want to think about that."

"Squall scared him so badly, the poor kid peed his pants."

"His Mom came over and started chewing out Cid. She wouldn't go away, so you started brandishing a shuriken."

"She looked at me like I was the devil," Yuffie snickered. She smiled at me. "You know, Squall's going to try and make Riku pee his pants."

I nodded. "I just hope I can actually get Riku to meet him. This is something I want to see."

"Well, what do you say?" Yuffie stood up and put her hands on her hips, backing towards the stairs, grinning at me. "Time to go meet your boyfriend's best friend?"

"Oh no, anything but _that_!" I said, throwing my hands up in mock-terror as I clambered to my feet and followed her. "Actually, Riku's told me so much about him, I feel like I've met him already." _Not to mention Sora trampled all over an intense moment, which seems to be his modus operandi…_

I scanned the area for a dark figure lurking in the shadows as I stepped down to the ground of the borough, trailing behind Yuffie. As we approached the front step of Merlin's house, Aerith stepped out, holding the door open.

"Miyuki!" she said, smiling. I was actually surprised at the volume – this was about the loudest her voice would get during my stay.

"Hey, Aerith!" I said, smiling.

She glanced inside with a slightly worried look on her face. "Ah… You might want to stay out here a second."

I peeked inside the door to see Donald putting Sora in a headlock, Squall yelling at the duck to cut it out, Goofy hovering in Cid's space as he cussed at the computer, and Merlin trying to settle everyone down but failing to capture their attention.

"Oy! What's got you so uptight, old man?" I barked at Cid.

He and Goofy turned – other than that, the room had frozen.

"That was louder than _Donald_," Sora said, shoving the oversized bird away and standing upright.

"I'll be damned!" Cid said, gaping at me a minute, then wiped his nose with his thumb and put on a bored expression. "How'd you get yourself back here? You finally figure out how to drive a gummi ship?"

I walked over to him, crossing my arms. "I _know_ how to drive, _you_ just won't let me!" I snapped. "And what the heck are you doing, messing with a computer? You hate computers."

"Damn right I hate 'em! The stupid thing keeps typing 'Q'. All the time! Q, Q, Q!"

I peeked over his shoulder at the keyboard and pointed at a can of soda sitting there. "Cid."

He lifted the can and the 'Q's stopped appearing. "Smart-ass," he muttered, throwing the can aside.

"Pig," I replied, walking over and picking it up. The trash can was in the other corner of the room and I walked over towards Merlin before crossing the room and throwing it away. "How _have_ you managed?" I asked with a mock-serious expression.

"It hasn't been easy," he replied, perfectly serious, himself. He lowered his voice, lifted his hand to hide his mouth from the others, and leaned slightly towards me. "It's been non-stop ruckus since the machine was put in my home!"

"Aw. Have you considered kicking them out?"

He shook his head. "Dismantling the thing would be a dreadful nightmare." He pulled his hand from his giant blue sleeve and pointed it at the can in my hand, throwing it at the trash can in the corner. He tucked his wand away and clapped my shoulder, smiling beneath his mass of grey facial hair. "It's a pleasure to see you. How long do you intend to stay?"

_As long as Sora does._ "Oh, I don't know. I'll just be waiting for my ride to pick me up." _A slightly creepy way to refer to Riku, but I don't think Yuffie or Squall have been paying attention…_ I glanced back to see everyone in one big circle, talking.

Merlin smiled. "I won't tell Sora," he whispered.

My eyes snapped back to his, which looked very amused. I arched an eyebrow. "About what?" He looked at me reproachfully. I narrowed my eyes at him. "It's impolite to read someone's mind!"

He snickered. "I can only do it with those I am close to, and I am very pleased to see that I still know you so well."

I glared at him a moment, but I couldn't hold a straight face for very long. I smiled. "Thank you for keeping my secret," I whispered.

"Right, Miyuki?" Yuffie shouted, and I turned around and joined their circle, standing between Sora and Squall.

"Right!" I said.

"You don't even know what we're talking about," Squall said.

"The thing at the place, right?" I replied.

He shot me a look before turning his attention to Cid, who now said to the Keybearer, "You three better stay for supper! You look famished!"

"You just want to torture us with your nasty soup," Yuffie groaned, crossing her arms.

"I told you, _bellyful stew_!" Cid looked at Sora. "One bowl kept my battalion on its feet for days!"

I leaned over and muttered to Sora, "'Cause they were running from it."

He laughed. "Aw, it can't be that bad! We'll definitely stay for dinner."

"Why don't _you_ cook, Aerith?" I said, pointing at her.

She looked pleasantly surprised. "You really want me to?"

"Just follow the recipe this time," Squall said.

"The lemonade was a long time ago, Squall," I said.

He laid the glare of a thousand demons on me. "That's _Leon_," he growled.

I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Say, uh, Cid, what's that flashin' green light on the screen?" Goofy asked, pointing to the computer. Cid whipped around and started typing (and cussing) furiously.

"I'd better go home and figure out what to make tonight," Aerith said. "I'm going to the market – I'll meet you back at the house."

Sora turned to me. "So you're Miyuki, right?" he asked.

"You bet," I nodded, holding my hand out to him.

"I'm Sora," he said, shaking it.

"So I've heard." _Did you enjoy seeing the fireflies?_ I was tempted to ask as our hands dropped, and we turned to face each other.

"How do you know Leon and everyone?" he asked.

"Ah…" I glanced at Squall, wondering how I could pull of the clueless bit without making him feel awkward. I looked over at Yuffie and she winked reassuringly. I took a deep breath and looked back at Sora. _Screw it._ "…I was chucked to Traverse Town when half of Destiny Islands was swallowed by darkness."

His mouth slid open and a long "Uhhh…" rumbled out of it.

I smiled nervously. _You've done it now, Miyuki. May as well keep going._ "I lived on Destiny Islands, and when Riku opened the door to darkness, my half of the world got thrown into darkness. I was about seven and these guys took me in." I thumbed towards Squall and Yuffie.

"Wait a second. You know Riku? Do you know where he is?"

I swallowed. "Yes, I know him, and no, not exactly." I rubbed the back of my neck. "He helped me figure out some things about myself. And there was this incident with our hearts being connected…" I didn't know how to conclude the Riku-Miyuki antecdote without making it obvious that I knew where Riku was, so I just stared at the floor and hoped Sora would blow it off.

No such luck. "'Connected'? So could you track him down?"

I swallowed and brought my eyes back up to Sora's. "He still has a lot of things to take care of… He's so tied up, trying to fix what he broke…" Ironically, I felt like my heart was breaking, poor Sora's face looked so crestfallen. This wasn't fair to him. I swallowed.

"Oh… I guess… that makes sense," he said, eyes trailing to the side. He took a deep breath and looked back up at me, smiling. "Well, I'll just have to keep looking, and when I find him, we'll fix things together." He nodded.

_Is… that a logical conclusion to what I just told him?_ I dismissed it. _As long as he's nt going to bug me over it._ "I think he'll like that," I said, and I realized that he still had a look of disappointment in his eye, no matter what his smile portrayed.

"So, Sora, what did you think of the book?" Merlin asked, and we both turned to face the old man.

"Pooh Bear's doing better than I expected!" Sora said. "There was a little bit of a fiasco with honey…"

"Isn't there always?" Merlin sighed.

Sora laughed, resting his hands on the back of his head. "I'll say. Things are looking up, though…!"

Squall grabbed my upper arm and tugged me away from Sora, mumbling in my ear. "What's with this Riku guy? He can't even say hi to his supposed best friend?"

I glared at him. "It's none of your business."

He glared right back. "If it involves you, it's my business."

"And what makes you think _that's_ true?" I snapped.

"You're my family, alright? I don't want you getting hurt."

As kind as it was that he cared, I didn't appreciate his cynicism towards this person I was connected to, and that he didn't know. I used his fake name to placate him. "Leon, calm down. I know Riku."

He stared at me incredulously. "Some people lie more easily than they breathe. Months aren't long enough to _really_ know someone."

I swallowed. "I know. I remember someone who lied about feeling perfectly fine for years. You still have the scars on your wrists?"

He inhaled deeply and let go of my arm. "That's got nothing to do with this."

"Riku's put up walls, but I've got practicing at climbing them."

"I just don't want you shot down when you get to the other side."

I couldn't help but smile at that. "Thanks, Squall."

His glare twisted to a slight smile and he turned away a little, staring at me sidelong. "We're always here, Miyuki."

_And you didn't correct me when I said 'Squall'._ I hooked my arms around his side, inhaling the scent of the leather. _I missed this smell._

* * *

**Raise your hand if you're a FF8 fangirl! :D (I'm sorry, I had to say that.) (I actually never finished that damned game. Couldn't get past Adel, when she had Rinoa strapped to her chest.) (Hawkward.)**

**Oh my gooseness, thank you so much for the beautiful reviews. They're really encouraging and make my mood 384768957603% lighter. ^-^**


	58. Chapter 58 Moody Teens and Nightmares

I was viciously attacking bowls and plates with a sponge, staring out the window over the sink in Cid's proper house, ignoring Aerith's pleas for me to let her do the dishes. I was tired of trying to dodge Sora's questions about Riku – "So how'd you meet him? Where? When? Why? Is he alright? Did you have fun? When do you think you'll see him again?" – none of which I'd have minded, if I wasn't trying to keep it under wraps that Riku was here. So the dishes were a decent excuse to absentmindedly brush off any questions he might shoot my way again.

"All I'm saying is, we'd have a much better chance of knocking out heartless and nobodies if your contraption didn't just throw them somewhere random!" Yuffie said.

Cid pounded his fist on the table. "I'm _telling_ you, it only does that if it can't penetrate its armor!"

_So… wait… It couldn't pentrate my armor? I don't wear armor. Does that mean darkness is always just… covering me…?_

I shook my head and scrubbed the bowl harder. _I hate being covered in darkness. It makes me feel like I'm another heartless, just with better manners._

"So tell me how many heartless' armor it actually penetrates!" Yuffie challenged.

"It's kind of helpful, though, because all the heartless and nobodies are off their guard, so we have the upper hand when we go after them," Sora said. "And you can keep up with a few lousy heartless, right, Yuffie?"

"Of course I can!" she said indignantly.

"There you have it!" Sora's tone was ever-cheery. I wondered if a negative thought _ever_ crossed his mind.

Yuffie sounded sulky. "Just works out the bugs in your program, Cid," she grumbled.

"Miyuki, I'm glad you're back!" Cid said to me. "You don't _complain_ like these pansies! Maybe we'll finally have some logic around here!"

"Because God knows _you_ haven't provided it," Squall muttered.

There was the whistle of silverware flying through the air and a ricochet fork bounced against my leg. I picked it up and started scrubbing it.

"I'm not staying long," I said. "I've… still got things to patch up."

Cid groaned. "Where do you want me to take you _now_?"

"No, I'm just waiting for my ride," I said.

"Ride? Who's giving you a ride?" Cid said, sounding a little dejected.

"A friend of mine."

"Who?"

I rolled my eyes. "Orlando, my friend Orlando," I lied, turning to face him as I dried off the fork.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "A _boy_?" I smiled tightly and nodded. "I'm meeting him!" he declared, thumbing to his chest.

I wiped my face with one hand. "Not happening, Cid."

"That's what _you_ think!"

I glared at him, then looked over at Squall. "Did _you_ put him up to this?"

"Yeah, I cloned myself so that while I talked to Cid you wouldn't get suspicious, I really _haven't_ been with you all evening," he said sarcastically.

I shook my head. "Orlando is about as harmful as a cockroach. I could crush him beneath my foot."

"I still want to meet this boy that's been escorting you around!" Cid said.

"More like _I've_ been escorting _him_!" I scoffed. "The stupid kid doesn't even know when he's being played!" They all stared at me blankly and I realized the stupid mistake I'd just made. "That came out wrong," I said, shifting uncomfortably.

"It better have," Cid said.

"It's just a long story… I don't even want to try and explain it." I wiped my face with one hand and rubbed the back of my neck, looking around. "No hard feelings, Cid?" I asked.

"Never," he shrugged.

"I just, uh, need some air, I guess." I walked outside, shutting the door gently behind me. I stood on the side of the borough farthest from Merlin's, where two tall stone structures loomed over Cid's squatty little house. I stepped away from the windows and door of his home, out of sight around the corner of the looming structure, and scanned the darkened borough for any sign of Riku.

"I want to have a _talk_ with you, Batman!" I hissed, then paused, waiting for a response. Nothing. "I mean it! If you don't get your—"

"Talking to yourself?" a warm voice popped up behind me, making me jump out of my skin. I expected to see Riku when I turned, but it was Squall, leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

My shoulders sagged. "Oh. You."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't _I_ feel welcome."

"Well, when you follow a moody teen, what do you expect?" I lifted my hands in the air helplessly.

He glanced out at the borough before landing his eyes back on me. "Orlando's the idiot working with the Organization, right?"

I nodded, rubbing the back of my neck. "He's still a heartless, I guess. Just a higher-ranking one, with conciousness. He thought I could turn him human. That's what they told him. But now that I'm swathed in darkness…" I looked down at myself, crossing my arms. "All bets are off."

"Do you still fight heartless?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I haven't needed to in a long time. I don't know how they'd react to me."

He nodded, eyes trailing to the ground. "Is he really worth it, Miyuki?" he asked.

I stared at him blankly. "You mean Riku?"

His eyes flit up to mine. "Are you just looking for something to do because you're bored?"

"No. I am not looking for something to do because I'm bored."

"He has serious issues, and if you're a being of darkness now…" He swallowed. "Who's to say darkness won't overcome you, and use you to stop Sora?"

"Squall…" I looked for something to say, but nothing came to mind. A long pause passed before I found my voice again. "I need him. You probably think I'm an idiot, but I'm only a happy idiot when I'm with him."

"Then why aren't you smiling?"

"Because you're treating me like I'm three."

"Miyuki, this guy is _no good_."

"You haven't even met him!"

"Someone who throws everyone into darkness is no good!"

"By that logic, someone who sticks a knife in his wrist instead of telling someone he feels like shit is never going to have friends!" I snapped.

"Doing that hurt _me_, no one else!"

"You don't think Yuffie or Aerith were hurt by that? You don't think _I was hurt_ by that? We're _family_ and that _did _hurt, Squall!"

"And I'm sorry!"

"_So is Riku_." I swallowed. "You both grew up, and you made things right. Riku tried to send me away the second he realized what was happening but I wouldn't go."

"Why?"

"Because I feel fucking insane without him."

"They have pills for that."

"Not good enough."

"Because they won't turn you into a monster?" he scoffed.

I glared at him. "So I'm not just a being of darkness, I'm a monster now?"

He rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant."

"Oh? What _did_ you mean?"

"You're not a weak person. Darkness is going to use you."

"But _Riku isn't darkness_. I'd know if he was."

"How?"

"If he was darkness, he wouldn't feel warm." He stared at me blankly a moment and I realized how that sounded. "No, I mean… That was awkward. I mean, not like 'ooh, I'm feeling Riku'. I don't even… That is… Uh…"

"This is not a conversation we need to have," Squall said.

"No, it isn't."

"I just want to make sure you're alright," he said quietly, glaring at the ground. Somehow, even when he was being nice, he looked pissed.

I smiled. "I appreciate it."

He glanced across the borough before smirking at me. "So when's your stalker going to quit hiding in the shadows and face me like a man?"

I snorted. "When he's sure he won't run into Sora."

"I still don't understand what the big deal with that is."

I shrugged. "One of my stalker's quirks." I lowered my voice. "Quite frankly, I'm not sure if I could handle running around with Donald and Goofy all the time. They seem to be… a bit much."

He nodded. "More than a bit. I needed to get out of that house as much as you did."

Yuffie poked her head around Squall's shoulder, grinning at me. "Aerith wants to show you something!"

I arched an eyebrow. "Why does this scare me?"

She laughed. "Don't worry, it's a good thing." She stepped around Squall and grabbed my arm, tugging me back to the house, in through the kitchen and up the stairs.

"Geez, nice grip!" I muttered, rubbing my hand when she finally released me at the top of the stair. She stepped behind me and threw one hand over my eyes, laying the other on my shoulder to lead me.

"Just keep walking!" she sang.

"Okay…?" I muttered, taking a few steps forward, and a sharp right turn. Yuffie tugged me to a halt.

"Ready?" she asked.

"Yes," Aerith said softly, in front of me. She sounded a little exasperated. _What does Yuffie have you doing _now_?_ I wondered.

"Ta-da!" Yuffie's hand flew from my face and my eyes opened to see Aerith holding an outfit up in front of me.

The shirt was dark green, with long, hang-off-the-shoulder sleeves made of nothing but thick straps with bulky buckles. The bottom was trimmed with black lace, which complimented the light grey shorts nicely.

"I just saw it at the market and thought you'd like it," Aerith said.

"You're gonna look _great_!" Yuffie said, taking the shirt from Aerith and holding it up against me. "If this doesn't get Riku hot and bothered, I don't know what will!"

My face went red and I punched her arm. "I don't want to always wear something that's designed to attract men!"

Her eyebrows popped up. "No? I thought that was the point of being a woman?" she smirked. I rolled my eyes.

"You don't have to wear it if you prefer something else," Aerith said. "Really. It just made me think of you."

I took the shirt from Yuffie. "In all seriousness—" I looked at Aerith's skeptic face. "—and honesty, I really do like it," I said. "Lemme change." Aerith handed me the shorts and as I made my way to the bathroom attached to the bedroom, Yuffie ran to the bed to grab something off of it. She caught me just before I entered the bathroom, shoving a bundle of thin straps into my free hand.

"Try these, too!"

I held one end up and examined the dangling black straps. "Suspenders?"

She smiled. "Trust me."

I shot her a look, but took them with me into the bathroom. The result of the suspenders wasn't exactly pleasant – placing the straps across my chest proved to be a rather uncomfortable venture and I gave it up altogether. I looked myself over in the mirror and realized that, minus the suspenders, I looked good – I just needed to dye my hair again. Brown roots were growing. The second I mentioned this to Yuffie, she took off to the marketplace, demanding that Aerith and I stay and relax. Aerith sat on the bed, folding her hands on her lap, looking as proper and angelic as ever. The door to the bathroom was open, and I was turned towards the mirror inside, wondering if this was too showy to wear casually. All that was showing were my legs and arms – and even my arms were covered by buckles – but it was fancier than I was used to.

"So you like Riku?" Aerith asked gently, catching me off my guard.

I turned to face her. "Yeah. Squall thinks I'm stupid for staying with him, but I think Yuffie's just happy she can tease me about this kind of thing, now…"

Aerith's brow furrowed very slightly. "Squall thinks _what_?"

I started counting with my fingers. "Alright, first thing you need to know: Riku's heart and mine are connected. Second: The darkness in his heart flowed into mine. I'm sort of… overcome by it, but I'm still me, so screw it, I'll be swathed in darkness." She looked surprised, but I just kept going. "Third: We've established that neither of us are opposed to our hearts being connected. Squall thinks I should ditch Riku because of the second thing, but the first and third thing make that argument invalid."

"Invalid?" Aerith said, looking amused.

"Yeah." I crossed my arms. "He keeps saying he wants to meet Riku, but that's not gonna happen."

"I don't think so, either. The only time Riku will have a moment to spare is when you're all back home, from the sounds of it. By then, the worlds will be… closed again…"

The idea that we may not see each other again after this visit seemed to weigh heavily on us, and we both seemed to stare at the floor for a long moment.

"Oh, screw it," I said. "We'll see each other again. I've got the power of darkness now, I'll figure something out." It occurred to me that I left my messenger bag in the bathroom, and I suddenly remembered that no one had any idea what was in it. I'd told mine and Riku's story over and over, but never the story about my old house. I ran into the bathroom and brought out the bag, sitting next to Aerith and opening it. "Check this out," I said, smiling, and let the bag drop to the floor as I clutched the sketchbook. I sat it in Aerith's lap and watched as her pale hands carefully opened it – it was like I'd already told her it was Dad's.

"Is this your mother?" she asked, smiling at the sketch.

"Mhm," I nodded. Something nagged at the back of my mind – I was forgetting something. I peeked inside the bag, hoping my answer would be in there, and a fleck of gold glinted at me. _Dad's ring!_ I leaned down and pulled it out, sliding it onto my thumb. "This is the ring she gave to Dad," I said, showing Aerith. _I can't believe I'd almost forgotten… I blame Xehanort._

"Oh, how sweet," Aerith said, smiling.

I suddenly felt like a little girl again, sheepishly showing her my drawings of moogles and Cid flying a gummi ship. I pulled my legs up onto the bed, crossing them indian-style and resting my elbows on my knees, chin in hands, looking at the sketchbook over her shoulder.

"I like this one of you and your mom," she said, smiling and pointing the the third drawing in.

I nodded, grinning. "I think I remember that day. We went to the ice cream parlor and we split a massive sundae."

Aerith looked over at me, the smile turning serious. "Do you think you'd ever want that with Riku?"

"The sundae? Heck yes, ice cream is boss."

She smiled and shook her head. "I meant a family."

My face flushed red and I dropped my hands from my face, staring at my lap. "Uh… I don't know. I don't know if I'd be good with kids." I shrugged.

Aerith nodded. "You would. You're a people person."

I shrugged again. "I don't know if I want kids. I don't know if _he_ wants kids. Hell, I don't know if he believes in marriage."

She laughed softly and looked back at the sketchbook. "Probably too soon to ask."

I laid my head in my hands. "Yeah. Yeah, it is." _I think. I hope. Oh, god, a family… This is heavy stuff._

"Oh, so he finally drew one of himself," she whispered half to herself, and my head perked up. The page was covered in a picture of my toddler arms hooked around my father's neck from the back – his hands were holding mine, keeping me from gagging him. "He was very good at capturing emotions."

"I'm thankful for it," I said.

Yuffie busted in, chucking a purple box at me. "Think fast, lovebird!" she squawked.

I caught the hair dye kit in both hands, standing up. "You," I said, gesturing to her dramatically, "are a goddess. An angel of deliverance."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." She walked up to me and took the box from my hands, stepping into the bathroom. "Let's turn you into a grape-head."

An hour or two passed and I ended up laying on my back on the bed beside Yuffie, our heads dangling off the edge of the mattress as Aerith sketched a portrait of her own, using a sheet of paper and pencil she'd taken from the nightstand. We talked about everything – fighting, eating, romance (which basically consisted of Yuffie making perverted jokes and Aerith shaking her head at us). Squall came up to tell us it'd been determined that Sora, Donald and Goofy were going to stay the night, sleeping on the floor downstairs. Yuffie immediately demanded I stay, too, and there was nothing to do but agree.

This resulted in falling asleep at two in the morning – Aerith had sensibly gone to her own room to hit the hay at eleven-thirty, but Yuffie and I drifted out of consciousness while sprawled every which-way across the bed.

_My body aches and throbs, the tiniest motion irritating my skin and the burning blood beneath it. Tears are streaming down my face and the liquid feels like acid on my cheeks. My chest is heaving up and down and I can't control the screaming. Through foggy eyes, I see the darkened shores of Destiny Islands, and an even darker figure standing in front of me as I double over with pain._

"_You're learning to tolerate it," the voice of ice says calmly. "Soon it will be so difficult to feel _anything_, that you'll welcome pain."_

"_No." I swallow. "I can't. I can't."_

"_I assure you, you can."_

_A freezing hand lays on my right shoulder – I grip it with both hands and pull myself to my feet. I glare at the golden eyes that size me up in confusion. "I won't." I sling him to the ground and dig my foot into his back, twisting his arm and pinning it behind him. I lift my foot for a brief moment, bending my leg and slamming my knee into the back of his head, ignoring the pain shooting through it._

_The waves stop beating against the shore – there is total silence._

"_I'm powerful, right? I'm a dark being, right?" I turn so that my knee digs between his shoulderblades, and grip his hair, lifting his face from the ground. "I'm in _hell_, right?" I hiss in his ear. "I have the same power you do, so you're up a creek. Go on – control my body – show me how to use darkness. I fuckin' dare you."_

"_And when you kill not only me, but Riku?"_

_I look up to see a huge mirror showing me pinning down Xehanort – except, in the reflection, my captive is Riku. My hand drops Xehanort's head and he flips onto his back, my knee slipping so that I straddle him. Disturbed and pissed, I scramble to get up, but warm hands catch both sides of my face and Riku leans up to press his lips against mine. The gentle warmth, the steady, sweet pressure is gone – he's attacking my face and I don't know what to make of it. I press my hands against his chest to pry him off – something's wrong, and he's making it difficult to decipher what – but his hands slide to the collar of my shirt, tugging it down. _

"—_the fuck?" I shout, and put my hands on either side of his face, pulling back to look at him. "Are you psycho?" I hiss._

"_Probably." His tone is frustrated, and his eyes drift away from mine, glaring at the shore. _

_I wrap my arms around him, hooking my head over his shoulder and peering at the reflection behind him. In that mirror, I am holding Xehanort._

My eyes flew open, heart pounding in my ears, and I sat up, scanning the still-dark bedroom for some sign of Riku. _I need to talk to him,_ I thought. _I want to see him. Now._ I looked over at Yuffie, who was cuddling her shuriken like a teddy bear. I considered pulling it away from her for safety reasons, but recalled that the last time I tried that, she nearly chopped my head off with it in her sleep. So I got up off the bed silently, pulled on my converse, and went to the window, opening it and peeking out at the dark rooftops.

"Riku?" I said, more loudly than I wanted to. I looked back at Yuffie worriedly, but she was mumbling about stew, still sound asleep. _Thank god she's a heavy sleeper._

The breeze felt good on my face, so I opened the window more and climbed onto the rooftop beneath it. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and stretched my arms up and out. When I opened my eyes and saw a black figure in front of me, I almost squawked in surprise, but a gloved finger pressed against my lips, and I smiled. "Hiya, handsome." I hooked my arms around him and immediately pulled back, flopping the hood down to see Orlando, his features illuminated in the moonlight. "Fuck!" I hissed, shoving him backwards. He caught his balance and held his hands up towards me submissively.

"Miyuki, please, just let me set things straight."

"No! They're going to kill you, but you don't want to hear it. I'm tired of discussing this!"

"What was I supposed to do? They captured me – because of _you_, might I add – and now they're giving me a chance. I have to take it! They'll kill me if I _don't_ comply with them!"

"'Let's run away', you said! 'We don't need to be involved in all this', you said!" I whispered frantically. "You're so full of shit I feel like I need to wash my hands! And arms! And clothes! Oh, god!" I turned to climb back in the window, but he caught the belt loop of my shorts and tugged me back.

"Remember when we were friends? When we laughed and talked and none of this mattered?"

I turned and glared at him, swatting his hand away. "No, I do not!" I hissed.

"Yes you do!" He grabbed my arms, pulling me towards him a bit. "I'm Nemo, I've always been there for you!"

"No you haven't!" I hissed. "You're cracked! Get off me."

There was a soft, unnatural breeze, and another black figure appeared behind Orlando. I caught a glimpse of grey hair peeking out of the hood as Orlando turned and snapped at him.

"What do _you_ w—?"

Riku cut him off, turning and pinning his arm behind his back, and pressed him against the side of the house. "I told you," he said quietly, looking over at me. "He touches you again, he loses his arms."

"What?" Orlando whispered, looking bewildered.

I felt a little shocked, myself. "I-It's going to be difficult to explain how blood got all over the side of the house," I stammered.

"Right. I'll just pull it out of its socket." He yanked Orlando's right arm and there was a sickening crack.

"Aaaargh!" Orlando groaned.

"Make too much of a racket and your left one is next," he growled, and summoned a dark corridor. "In case you didn't get the message, you're not going to touch her again." He smashed Orlando's face against the side of the house before shoving him into the dark corridor. The cloud of darkness faded and he turned to face me.

"I could've handled that, you know," I said.

He snorted. "Yeah, it looked like it."

I shot him a look. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Did you have something going with that Leon guy?" he asked, crossing his arms.

My eyebrows shot up. "Say _what_?"

"Before we met. Were you two… close?"

"Close in the terms of you and Kairi," I replied.

He nodded slowly, looking very slightly appeased. "Why are you out here, anyway?"

I shrugged. "Nothing, I guess, just being… silly." _Just a stupid nightmare._

"Since when do you strut around rooftops for no reason?"

"Since tonight."

There was a tense silence, and I didn't know why. I sighed and wiped my face with one hand. "I'm going to try and get some sleep," I said, turning back towards the window. "You try, too, alright? You're cranky when you're tired."

He shrugged. "I'll try." He disappeared and I clambered back inside to see Yuffie sitting up on the bed, watching me curiously.

"Everything okay?" she whispered as I shut the window behind me.

"I don't even know," I muttered, standing at the edge of the bed beside her and falling face-first onto the mattress.

* * *

**Okay wow this chapter is long. I have been updating a lot lately. I'm surprising myself, actually.**


	59. Chapter 59 Learning to Swim

I stumbled down the steps, my brain feeling fuzzy, my mood somewhat testy for reasons I didn't bother to remember. _I didn't get enough sleep last night. I bet Naminé's going to think things got kinky with me and Riku. She acts sweet but she's gotta be a pervert to jump to that conclusion._ The scent of eggs and bacon wafted through my nose and I felt immediately cheered at the thought of eating breakfast with DiZ, Naminé, Riku and Nemo.

"Morning, Miyuki!" Sora said brightly.

I halted at the foot of the stair and it was like the switch in my head was finally flipped. I was actually awake now, and realized that I was standing in Cid's house, staring at giant animals and their human friends as they all ate. I blinked hard. Those two were never going to feel normal, to me.

"Take a seat! I made breakfast!" Cid said.

"Food," I muttered, waddling over to the table and sitting down between Yuffie and Squall. A plate of bacon and eggs was set before me and I started digging in.

"What time did you two finally fall asleep last night?" Squall asked.

"At a perfectly reasonable hour, thank you very much," Yuffie replied. "We fell asleep at _exactly…_ some time between two and three." She winked at me before shoveling the last of her eggs into her mouth. I looked around at everyone's plates, and they were all empty.

"I think we'd better take off," Sora said, looking over at Donald, who nodded.

"You're coming back soon, right?" Yuffie asked.

"Definitely!" Donald squawked, and a chill ran up my spine, like when fingernails scrape a chalkboard. "With Sora driving, the gummi ship is gonna need all the help it can get!"

"Same problem with Miyuki," Cid said.

"That's a filthy lie, old man!" I said.

"We'll catch you guys later!" Sora said. "It was nice meeting you, Miyuki!"

"Back at you," I said, smiling as the trio made their way to the door. _Riku's going to want to leave soon… How do I hunt him down?_ I shoveled as much bacon into my mouth as I could before standing up. "I gotta go, too," I grumbled around my mouthful.

"You too?" Cid cried.

I shrugged. "This is the day for disappearing acts, I guess." I swallowed. "I'm gonna grab my bag from upstairs real quick, I'll be right back."

I jumped up the steps, racking my brain for some plan, disappointed that running around the streets shouting Riku's name wouldn't suffice. I reached over to grab my sketchbook and saw Aerith's portrait laying on it – I picked it up and saw that she'd captured, pretty accurately, a view of Cid's table, with him, Squall, herself, Yuffie and I sitting down at it.

"Looks like Aerith's still got it," Squall said.

I turned around and saw him leaning against the doorway. "Let me guess. You're making a habit of stalking me, yeah?"

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, you caught me," he said sarcastically. "What happened last night? I heard footsteps on the roof."

I put Aerith's portrait in the sketchbook, and tucked the sketchbook in the messenger bag. "Orlando was… being difficult. It was taken care of." _I also had a dream that scared the shit out of me, but that's not exactly relevant._

"Right…" His eyes trailed to the floor. "I, uh, met Riku earlier."

My eyebrows popped up. "What? When? How?" _Oh god, I sound like Sora…_

He shrugged. "He was around. I was around."

I stared at him blankly. "Of course. Silly me." _Man, I can't believe I missed that! That's _so_ unfair!_ "What'd you talk about?"

He shrugged. "Life."

"And?"

He shrugged again. I stared at him until he brought his eyes back up to mine. "I guess he's an alright guy," Squall admitted.

"Are you just saying that to make me feel better?"

He snorted. "The _last_ thing I'm gonna do is bullshit you, Miyuki."

A small smile crept onto my face. "I appreciate that." I pulled the strap of my messenger bag up and over my head and walked up to him. "You're an alright guy, yourself."

He smiled very slightly, but it didn't last long. "So your home is Destiny Islands, huh?"

"I have three, actually," I said, smiling. "Destiny Islands, but only because I have so many memories there. You guys are my second home, because I know you take me as I am." I shrugged. "Riku's third, but you already guessed that."

He rolled his eyes. "Figures. You're gone soft."

I crossed my arms and stared at him incredulously. "I beat that boy up on a regular basis, I'll have you know."

"Yeah, yeah," he said with disbelief. "So where is this schmuck picking you up, anyway?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "To be honest, I don't really know. I'll just walk around a bit. He'll find me." Squall looked skeptical. "Look, you said so yourself. He's an alright guy. He's not gonna leave me wandering the streets."

"He better not."

We walked downstairs, where Yuffie tackled me, Aerith kissed my forehead and Cid punched me in the arm. I ran down to Merlin's, and once I'd said goodbye to absolutely everyone, I stepped out into the empty borough and a pang of loneliness hit me. I walked out towards the steps leading to the bailey, but took a left when I reached the top, walking over to where I'd told Squall and Yuffie everything that'd happened.

"_He's too distracted by Sora to pay you any mind,"_ an icey voice whispered.

I rolled my eyes and leaned against the wall, crossing my arms. "So persistent," I muttered. I looked down at the borough and saw shadow heartless scrambling towards the marketplace. _No! They don't need to be down there._ Something occurred to me – if I was a dark being…

I swallowed and held out one hand towards them. "Come here!" I hissed.

They turned towards me, locking their little yellow gazes on me. They melted into the ground, disappearing, and suddenly popped up not two feet in front of me. I took a deep breath, lowering my hand. "Holy crap, that actually _worked_."

"_When you surrender to darkness, there are unimaginable benefits."_

I shook my head, ignoring the disturbing voice. I bent forward, putting my hands on my knees and smiling down at the shadows. "Hello, little ones," I said pleasantly. "Would you maybe consider eating people's hearts some other time?"

They blinked at me.

_Er, what now?_ "Go home," I demanded.

They melted into the ground and disappeared, and I stood upright.

"Did that really just happen?" I whispered.

"I'm a witness," said a warm voice beside me.

I looked over at Riku and shook my head. "What is it with you people and appearing out of nowhere?" I asked.

"Who _else_ is teleporting to your side?" he scoffed.

I rolled my eyes. "I must just be hard of hearing." I looked at him sidelong. "So where are we off to, Batman?"

He sighed heavily. "Atlantica," he grumbled.

My eyebrows popped up and I smiled. "Really? I always wondered what that place was like. But I figured it was all under water, and I'm not a fish, so I just didn't bother with it."

He hung his head, crossing his arms. "There's a way around that."

"Oh?" I bent my head to catch his eye – which may have been silly, considering he had his blindfold on. "Why do I feel like you're not looking forward to this?"

"It's just… You'll see." He stood upright, and with another dramatic sigh, opened a dark corridor, taking my hand as we stepped through. I watched him curiously as he led me in silence – he paused at the exit of the corridor, looking at me through the blindfold. "Hold your breath."

I took a deep breath and held it as we stepped through the corridor; the second I had both feet out, I felt water sink into my converse, and it felt like a huge, fuzzy blanket was shifting against me. I blinked a few times as the darkness faded away, being replaced by walls of teal rock, speckled with brightly colored coral and seaweed.

"Whoa," I muttered, and caught myself – I was under water, but no water rushed into my mouth. I took a deep breath and realized that the water was drifting through my lungs without issue. I tried to turn and look at Riku, but my legs seemed to be glued together. I wobbled a little and lost balance – but instead of hitting the ground, I just floated, bent over awkwardly. I flopped my arms and bent my knees, struggling to right myself. I looked up at Riku, who looked extremely amused.

"Oh, shut up," I snapped. I looked him over; he was shirtless now, and instead of legs, he had a black tailfin. He was a merman. "Aquaman," I said, staring at him blankly.

The blindfold was still wrapped over his eyes, but I didn't need to see them to see the disgust on his face. "It gets better," he said crossly.

I grinned. "How could it get better than _this_? You're a _merman_!" I started to laugh at the absurdity of this world.

"Yeah, and you're the mermaid that can barely function," he retorted.

It suddenly dawned on me that I was probably topless, too, and I looked down to see dark green seashells acting as a bra, my lower half covered in light grey scales. I looked up at Riku. "So why don't _you_ have a bra?" I demanded. "This is inappropriate."

He snorted. "Not all of us are as well-endowed as you."

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy?"

"I'm pretty sure I'd rather admire yours than have a set of my own."

I laughed. "This place is great. Really. Two minutes here and we're already having a bizarre conversation."

"Oh, it gets better," he said, and swam over to a huge gap in the teal rock. He stopped and looked over at me. I stared at him blankly.

"I don't know how to move," I said.

He swam back over to me, a small, entertained smile resting on his face. "You never learned how to swim?" he remarked, taking my hands and turning me so that I faced the giant hole, his back to it.

"_I_ was taught how to swim like a _human_, smart-ass."

He smirked. "It's lucky for you that I'm patient." He started swimming backwards, tugging me along gently. He'd kept himself upright pretty well, but was pulling me along quickly enough that my legs were trailing behind me horizontally. We reached the giant hole, but her turned and started pulling me in wide circles. "It's like stepping forward with both feet. Just get your knees and hips into it."

I stared at him with raised eyebrows, wondering if he knew how that sounded. Judging by the smirk on his face, he was perfectly aware.

I swung my feet forward awkwardly and he let go of my hands, backing up as I leaned forward awkwardly. I pulled myself upright with my arms and glared at Riku. "This is about as easy as licking my elbow."

He shrugged. "Your neck's just too tight." He swam up to me and held his forearm horizontally in front of my face. "You know how hula dancers do the wave thing?" He lifted his wrist, lowering it as his knuckles raised, and continued this until the imaginary wave rolled off his fingertips. "Try doing that with your legs."

Somehow, even when I couldn't move, I could shift uncomfortably. _I don't know how to do that with my legs!_ I attempted it pathetically and ended up upside-down, my head touching the floor, my tail waving in the air above me. "I look ridiculous," I muttered.

"I'm not the only one who's vain," he said, and now hovered a few feet above me, leaning past my tail to look at me.

"Excuse me?" I snapped.

He was silent for a moment, then reached down, hooked his hands under my arms and pulled me upright. "You'll figure it out."

I stared at him blankly as he turned and swam to the giant hole. He stopped and stared back, waiting for me to catch up. I took a deep breath. "I get the whole chuck-the-kid-into-the-lake-tho-teach-him-how-to-swim thing, but—"

"Ask yourself what's more degrading – learning how to swim in front of me, or being the one who has to rely on me to move around."

I grit my teeth. "I am _not_ vain."

He smirked. "Of course not."

I took a deep breath and pitched forward, pulling myself forward with my arms, trying to kick like a human with my legs. When that didn't work, I ended up flopping my feet up and down behind me, bending my legs at the knees. Riku nodded, straight-faced at last.

"Bend at the hip," he instructed, turning and swimming through the hole.

I exhaled and followed his instruction – it felt awkward. I was not a dancer. Gyrating hips were not my forte. But after about twenty feet of following Riku and observing the new, gorgeous scenery around me, it got easier and easier.

All of a sudden Riku swam up the side of a huge wall – I stared up after him in shock a moment, then followed determinedly. He halted at the edge of it, looking over at me as I wobbled up to his side. A rhythm caught my ear and he nodded forward, gesturing to what was on the other side of the wall.

A mermaid with bright red hair, a yellow and blue fish, and a crab were singing and dancing. Joining them was Sora, Donald and Goofy. My jaw dropped.

"What is this?" I whispered, clutching Riku's arm with one hand, watching them with wide eyes. Sora was a merman, Goofy was a turtle, and Donald was an octoduck. And they were amusing me very much.

"This is Atlantica," Riku said, "and it doesn't get much gayer than this."

I covered my mouth, snorting loudly, trying to hold in laughter so I could hear what they were singing.

"_Just a touch, 'cause it won't take too much to pop, pop, pop!"_

"Oh my god. Is this real? Am I dreaming? This is too hilarious to be real."

Riku pinched my arm and I smacked his shoulder. "It's real," he answered.

I turned to him and grabbed his shoulders, turning him so that he faced me. "I'm starting to feel neglected. Why don't _you_ ever sing and dance with me?" I pouted mockingly.

"If I said what they said you would punch me in the face."

I snorted. "'Just a touch 'cause it won't take too much to pop'? I'd kick you in the nuts."

"Let's change the subject."

"To what? Sora's dancing abilities? He's very light on his toes. I'm impressed. Kairi's got quite a catch."

"How'd it go?" he asked. "Hanging out with everyone, I mean."

I smiled. "It was really nice. I missed them a lot. It was great to hang with them again."

He nodded, silent a moment. "Squall seems very interested in keeping you safe."

"I wanted to ask you about that! When did you two meet? I'm furious that I missed it!"

"Were you two close?"

I arched an eyebrow. "You mean like… Sora-and-Kairi close?" He nodded. "No," I snorted. "He's like a brother to me."

"A brother that isn't really related to you," Riku said.

"I guess not…?" I leaned towards him, tilting my head to the side a little. "Are you okay?"

He shrugged. "I'm just… I keep remembering this dream I had… I don't know if you had it, too, or…?"

"On Destiny Islands? And… I had Xehanort pinned?"

"Except it was me. He was using my body the whole time. His voice was so loud… The only thing I could think of was that time DiZ gave us the day off, and you kissed me, and his voice went away."

_So that's why you were so frantic._ "It was unsettling," I said quietly, eyes slipping to the ground. "I knew it was you when you kissed me, but you seemed so…"

"Different," he finished.

I looked back up at him and shook my head. "No. You seemed scared." He wiped his face with one hand, turning his head to the side. "Riku, has it been getting worse?"

He shook his head, crossing his arms. "Uh… He's just gotten louder, is all."

"What's he saying?"

"The usual bullshit. 'You'll both fade into darkness, this is all because of you…'" He took a deep breath. "Except… technically, he's right."

I shook my head. "That's not—"

"I know what you're thinking, Miyuki, but by the time you're powerful enough to overwhelm his darkness with your own, the darkness will have control over you. It's not just Xehanort, it's an element all its own, and the last thing that will help is plunging into it."

"If I can get him to stop torturing you, I don't care if I'm covered in darkness."

"And you really think I'd rather have you lost in darkness, than deal with Xehanort?"

I swallowed. "What am I supposed to do? I _won't_ let him use me to hurt you."

"You won't."

I rolled my eyes. "Look, Batman, this isn't the time for getting cocky."

"I'm serious. I've handled everything Xehanort's thrown at me before, I can handle you."

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "And if you have to kill me to stop me?" He was silent. "I'm not going to let him put you in that position."

"And I'm not going to let you sell your soul just to spare me some trouble!"

I looked up at him, getting angry with the situation, and his blindfold. "Isn't my heart drenched in darkness already? Isn't it already unlocked?"

He shook his head. "No. It's not too late for you."

"Oh, for the love of—!" I tugged his blindfold down over his face and he stared at me with surprised, angry eyes. "You just don't _want_ it to be too late for me! Did you see me today? I controlled shadows! Fuck, Riku!" I held my hand out to one side and a dark corridor appeared. "_I am a dark being_. There's no avoiding it anymore!"

"There has to be!" he snapped.

"But there isn't!" I waved my hand dismissively at the corridor and it vanished. "What are you afraid of?"

"Losing you."

"If I become a heartless, just summon me."

"And if you fade into darkness entirely?"

I swallowed. "Then I'll fuel your power."

"You mean _Xehanort's_ power! No! That's not happening!"

"So what are you going to _do_? It's not like either of us can get rid of my darkness!"

"Miyuki…!"

"What?"

We stared at each other a long moment, panting from all our yelling.

"He's right, isn't he?" he said quietly. "Either way you look at it… we're fucked. We're up shit creek without a paddle."

"At least I learned to swim," I mumbled.

We looked back out over the wall at the dancing, singing sea creatures.

"_Swim along! Just join in the song! A musical for everyone, to have a lot of finny fun!"_

I glanced at Riku and we smiled at the absurdity of Sora dancing and singing.

"I'm going to give him so much shit for this," Riku said.

* * *

**Fwahhhhh. Writing. Cannot stop.**


	60. Chapter 60 I Hear You

Boredom had set in and I was trying to keep the mood light – which was difficult, when Riku and I had just had a head-butting match. Watching Sora talk to the locals was about as interesting as watching paint dry, and as Riku and I observed the King of this world, sitting on the wall surrounding them, I put my palms against the rock and leaned back, tilting my head on its right side and looking over at him. He had his arms crossed against his chest, blindfold tugged back up over his eyes.

"Is it wrong to crave crab legs right now?" I asked.

He snorted. "I don't know that the crabs' neighbors would appreciate that."

I sighed. "Curse this world and its magic talking food." I waited for his lips to twitch into a smile, or at least a sharp breath to shoot out of him in amusement. Nothing happened. _You look so depressed._ I scooted to my right, closer to him, and wrapped my right arm around his shoulders, resting my chin on his left one, staring at him intently.

"Can I help you?" he said quietly.

"You don't look so good, Aquaman."

He snorted. "Oh, thanks." I arched an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to take this seriously. "I'm okay, Miyuki," he said, turning his head towards me.

I flipped the edge of the blindfold up, peeking at one of his eyes. "You're allowed to say what's on your mind."

He smirked. "I never thought I'd get you so close when you were in nothing but seashells."

I rolled my eyes and dropped the blindfold. "_Never_?"

The smirk spread into a small smile. "Don't get me wrong, there have been hopes."

I snorted loudly. "Oh, I'm sure there still are."

He uncrossed his arms and reached the left one up around me, pressing his fingers against his ear. "Thanks for that _schronk_, right in my ear."

"Schronk?" I scoffed.

"That's what your snort sounded like," he replied.

"Sor-ree," I said, leaning away, but he snagged my arm in his left hand, tugging me back towards him.

"Where do you think _you're_ going?" he teased.

"Nowhere, until you tell me what's bugging you."

He froze in place. "You _know_ what's bugging me."

"The fact that I've got darkness in my heart?"

He swallowed. "The fact that it's going to swallow us."

I shook my head. "You don't know that. Just look at yourself, you haven't been swallowed by it."

"That's just because I stole strength from you. Now that we can't steal from one another…"

He didn't finish his sentence, and I didn't need him to. Neither of us could think of a way out, just a way down. At the moment, I could get over that – it wasn't like we were about to drop dead then and there – but I fervently despised seeing him upset.

I hooked both arms around his shoulders, burying my face in his neck. _He's dedicated his life to changing what he's done… It's not like Sora's going to die from singing. _I pulled back. "That day off DiZ gave us? We're taking another one." He was silent, and I expanded on that thought. "This place… It's pretty, but it's boring. We're going somewhere fun."

"Where?" he asked.

"Well… Where do you want to be right now?"

He paused briefly. "Alone, with you."

"That sounds nice." A place popped into my head and I grinned. "Alright, I have an idea."

"Suddenly, I am very frightened."

I winked. "You should be." I summoned a dark corridor behind him, the doorway resting on the top of the wall. "Mkay, Aquaman, change us into humans again. This idea of mine isn't submerged in the ocean."

He snorted. "I'm _shocked_." We sat there silently a moment. "Are you going to get up?" he asked.

"You first."

"Why?"

I sighed. "Because I don't think I can get up on my own."

He smiled. "Alright." He took both my hands in each of his and deftly pulled us up so that, had we legs, we'd have stood on the top of the wall. I was going to let go and wobble my way into the corridor, but he kept his grip around mine and swam backwards into it. "Exhale," he commanded, and I did as I was told.

The second I wanted to draw breath, I slid through the pitch-black layer of the dark corridor, stepping onto the bright colors, back in my normal, dry attire, complete with messenger bag. I saw Riku inhale and gladly followed suit; my lungs felt clear and open, like they'd been cleared of some unknown dust. Riku and I reached the end of the corridor without interference – I grinned as we stepped onto tall, weedy grass in the middle of a very large yard lined with large stone walls. I watched Riku's face carefully as he pulled the blindfold off to gaze at the backyard of the Old Mansion in Twilight Town; the very same that we trained in so often. His jaw dropped slightly, his lips parting as if he was going to say something; but he just shut his mouth and smiled slightly.

I waved the corridor away hurriedly and stepped in front of Riku, biting my lower lip. "Good pick?" I asked.

He nodded slowly, his eyes wandering back to mine. "I'd say so."

"I thought you might appreciate the irony of coming here to take the day off, when last time, it was this place we took the day off from."

He nodded more. "I do appreciate the irony. There are so many different memories tied in with this place…" His eyes wandered back over the field again, and so did mine.

"_Do you _know_ how much you ruined? Do you know how much it _hurts_?"_

"No_, Miyuki, why don't you _tell_ me?"_

_._

"_Hey! What do I do with… _this_?" I nodded at the heartless in my hands._

"_We'd better have DiZ take a look at him."_

"_So you just want me to tote it around?"_

"_You're here to assist me, remember? Don't worry, I'll hold the doors for you," he said smugly._

"_Tonight, just as he falls asleep, gnaw on his ankle for me, okay?" I said to the heartless. It nodded. _

_._

"_Wipe that stupid smirk off your face!" I said, following him. _

_Riku turned to face me, backing away slowly. "_Make_ me," he replied, heartless raising in front of me._

"Hey, Batman," I said.

"Hm?"

He looked back over at me and I pivoted on my left heel, swinging my foot into his left side. He caught my ankle with his left hand and pulled me towards him, holding his hand up as if to hit me in the ribs – but he held it mid-air and hooked his left hand beneath my knee, holding me steady. This was certainly not the classic, violent training session I'd intended to spark, and I found myself completely frozen, staring into rich teal irises with what I knew had to be a stupid look on my face.

"Hey, Robin," he said quietly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Dumbfounded, geared for competition, I snagged the blindfold from his hands. "I have confiscated your supernatural cloth," I said victoriously, holding it up in front of his face.

He grabbed the other end and wrapped it around his hand. "Only as much as I have."

"Yeah, well, you still owe me. Where are my shiny things, and my pony? I was serious about those, you know." My expression was completely serious, but I was given away by my bright red cheeks.

"I just don't know if I can afford shiny things," he said solemnly.

"I might eventually find it in my heart to forgive you," I replied in the same tone.

"I'll help you look." He reached up and over my head, wrapping the blindfold around my neck, pulling my left hand up to my collarbone, tugging me closer. His eyes drifted shut as his forehead tilted against mine. My right hand, with nothing better to do, rested against his chest, trying to feel his heartbeat through the fabric of his coat. The accursed jacket would not reveal the pulse I was so fond of; I pressed my palm against his neck and admired the warm, steady beat.

"This is how I know we'll be alright," I said quietly, matter-of-factly. "You were never cold like darkness."

His lips brushed against mine, but it only lasted a moment before they were trailing along my cheek, to my jaw, down my neck. It was true; he was never cold. In fact, my face was so _not_ cold, I thought my cheeks might literally be on fire. My heart was pounding in my ears, his pulse pounding against my palm. I slid my hand to his jaw, leading his face back towards mine. He hesitated, the skin of our lips separated by millimeters, waiting for me to move. I could taste him on my breath, feel him wrapped around me; I was thrilled and terrified. _Do you know this feeling?_ I erased the distance between us, determined to show him. He must've been caught off guard, because his hand released my knee and rested on my hip. I dropped the blindfold and rested both hands in the crooks of his neck; he dropped the blindfold and now both hands took hold of my hips. His lips drifted apart, teeth grazing my lower lip, pulling me closer, holding me tighter.

His pulse slammed against my hands, but my palms seemed to be losing heat. He exhaled sharply and at first I thought it was the heat of the moment. He tugged my hands from his neck and stepped back. We stared at my hands for a moment, gazing at the small amounts of darkness drifting there.

"No, go away," I whispered. I waited for it to obey, but it didn't. I tugged my hands out of Riku's and aimed them at the wall to our side, casting them away like a fire spell. But the second they were gone, more darkness materialized in my hands. I looked up at Riku. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" I asked, voice hushed.

He shook his head, frowning at the darkness I held. "It was just cold."

I crossed my arms and smiled sheepishly. "Way to wreck the moment, huh? We can't have something simple, like Dad walking in on us…"

He now frowned at the ground. "Yeah. Thanks to me."

I could see the road this was going down, and tried to detour. "I don't know, I think having Naminé walk in on us was more awkward." He was silent. I sighed and uncrossed my arms, holding up my hands and staring at the darkness in them again. I rubbed my hands together and the black smoke wafted from between them, making a twisted heart shape as it drifted up and was blown away by the gentle breeze. "What are you playing at?" I whispered, watching the remnants disappear.

"I wish I had more to give you," Riku said suddenly, anger resonating in his tone. I stared at him in surprise, not knowing how to respond. He still didn't bring his eyes to mine, but just crossed his arms, glaring off to the side. "I wish you could steal my strength."

"I… It's bad for you," I stammered.

"But I wish it _wasn't_. I'm absolutely no good for you."

We were down that road. I hated that road. "Will you _ever_ forgive yourself?" I said, unable to hide the exhaustion in my voice.

"For hurting you? No. I will never let myself forget what I did to you and Sora and Kairi and everyone's families."

"But can you _forgive_ yourself?"

He didn't seem to hear me. "How did I even steal from your heart? We never knew each other. Why did I have to steal from you?"

I stared at him a long moment. "Will you answer my question?"

"What question?"

"Can you forgive yourself for what you've done? You've repented of your sins a thousand times over," I snorted. "I know you're sorry. I've forgiven you. Would you forgive yourself, already?" He stared at me silently and I realized that he hadn't apologized to Sora yet. "Sora has been looking for you all this time, Riku. Even if he _is_ angry, which I highly doubt, he's obviously more concerned with your friendship than he is with his own resentment. Which, again, I cannot imagine seeing Sora resentful."

"You've never seen him after I beat him at a swordfight," he remarked.

A small smile snuck onto my face and I looked back down at my palms; they were empty, and I intended to change that. I seized Riku's hands in mine and stared at him until I'd seized his gaze, as well. "I remember falling asleep when Dad died, it was deeper than any rest I'd ever had. I'm pretty sure I was in some kind of purgatory between worlds. There was darkness, and there was silence…" I shook my head. "There was nothing when my world was gone – I was nothing when my world was gone – then I heard you, telling me to leave. You, so full of attitude, insisting I didn't belong there." I swallowed. "You're why I didn't get lost in the shuffle."

"I'm why you were _about_ to be lost in the shuffle."

I ignored that road. "Do you remember that? Telling me to leave?"

He swallowed. "I remember opening the door, and that's when the dreams of you started." His eyes started to slip from mine and I smiled a little, tilting my head to catch them again.

"That's how you stole from me. That's how we met."

"When I murdered your half of our world. Nice."

I shrugged. "Fuck it. We met. That's all that matters."

"How can you say that?"

"Because you're the one person I am desperately attached to, and you _are_ all that matters." He stared at me in what seemed to be mild shock. I backtracked. "Er, I mean, like a really cool friend. Except, you just, er, nibbled on my lip back there – well, here, technically." I stared at him awkwardly and realized he was smirking.

"I don't think 'really cool friend' covers it. Not when your face gets all red like that."

I glared at him. "Ah, yes. I remember you and your 'new favorite games'."

He snorted. "They aren't new, by now."

My face went ten degrees warmer. "Pervert."

"For making you blush?"

"I seem to recall someone mentally undressing me!"

"_You're_ the one who recalled it."

"You're the one who _invented_ it!"

He shrugged. "I'm an adolescent. It'd make more sense to be concerned if I _wasn't_ a bit of a pervert."

"So you admit it!" I said triumphantly.

"And you may as well confess," he added, "because I _know_ your face doesn't go red just because of what _I_ do."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I held up one hand. "No. Stop. I don't want to know."

He snorted. "You already _do_."

"Do not!"

"Admit it; there's no way you'd freak out _half_ as bad as you do when I'm half-naked, if it wasn't for your _own_ perverse mind."

"You shouldn't be naked to _any_ degree!" I snapped.

"Why not?" he challenged. My mind went totally blank and we stared at each other for a long moment, a smile slowly spreading across his face. He laughed. "See? You don't even know."

I dropped his left hand and punched him in the arm. "Way to win a girl over!" I said.

"Oh, have I lost your interest?" he said incredulously.

"Yes. I want my pony now." Our hands met again, and he seemed to be inching closer with each word.

"We've been over this. I cannot afford the pony you desire."

"You'll just have to make it up to me," I said.

He smiled. "And _how_ should I do that?"

Something dark was growing behind him; I could see golden eyes glowering at me as the shadowy figure stood upright. I slowly reached my hand around Riku's head, laying the other one on his shoulder and pressing my lips to his ear, never taking my eyes away from that gold.

"Xehanort is standing behind you," I whispered.

His shoulders tensed and his arms wrapped around my waist. "Yeah. Well. He's been yelling at me this whole time."

_How did I not know that?_ "He must not want me to hear him anymore…" The longer I gazed at him, the more his facial features resembled Riku's. I leaned back to see the watercolor effect drifitng over Riku's face. "But he wants me to see him," I whispered.

Riku's expression contorted into disappointment, and it flickered between resembling Xehanort and resembling himself. "Who do you see, Miyuki?"

I smiled, staring into the teal as the face that light had revealed to me and me alone, began to slip back into its dark form. My heart wanted to break. Xehanort's tan skin, Xehanort's older face… But Riku'seyes. "I see you," I said.

"And I hear you."

My eyes glanced over his watercolor skin, wondering what would happen if I dipped my fingers into the paint. Carefully, studiously, I lifted my hand to his cheek, brushing my knuckles against the tan color wafting there. It was so cold, it hurt to touch – I wondered at how Riku could stand there, watching me so patiently. There was something familiar in the feel of the watercolor effect, though. When using magic, I could tell the fire I held wasn't natural because the flames weighed on my palm, and while my skin never touched the fire, it was as though some invisible ties held it over my skin, controlling it.

My knuckles drifted down Riku's cheek, the tan watercolors following close behind, weighing on my fingers with those invisible ties. I laid my hands on either side of his face, tugging him towards me, pressing my lips against his forehead. The freezing colors gathered beneath my palms and the kiss, tearing away from Riku's skin and falling away from mine as I leaned back. I pulled my hands away from his face and the colors faded – now there was only Riku's face, pale skin, soft features. Hands and lips freezing, the chill spread through my veins, forcing a shudder from me.

"He's quiet," Riku whispered, looking a little wary.

I crossed my arms, speaking softly. "I may or may not have warded him off."

His brow knit. "What?"

I shrugged. "I really don't know. You started to look like him, and when I touched your face…" I shook my head, looking down – though, I was standing so close to Riku, this amounted to staring at our chests. _This sounds so bizarre._ "…I don't know."

"Hm," he said, his tone so light that it shocked me. "You know what we should do?"

I looked back up at him, eyebrows raised. "What?"

"Let's go to a music store."

I laughed a little, smiling. "M-Music store?"

"Yeah."

"You're a musician?"

He snorted. "Do I honestly look like a musician to you?"

I shrugged. "Get some leather, a few tattoos, you could be a death rocker."

"Or a stripper, you know." He nodded casually.

I raised my hand awkwardly. "I'm rich. Let me buy you," I teased.

"Nah, you shouldn't have to pay for somethings that's yours." My face turned red. "I'll take the money, anyway," he said, stepping back to hold one hand out towards me, leaving his right hand at the small of my back.

I hit him in the shoulder as he turned and we walked towards the entrance of the house, towards town. "I think not." I hooked my thumbs in my pockets and smiled as he opened the door for me. When we stepped into the mansion, a feeling of nostalgia washed over me. I stared at the foyer, reminiscing as we walked through it, my eyes wandering over to the hall where Riku's bedroom door sat. I turned my head and looked back over at the library doors. _So many memories. So many._

"Say something," Riku said blankly.

"Something," I replied automatically.

He rolled his eyes. "Say a lot of somethings."

"."

He glared at me, now. "Listen, woman, I don't know how long _he_ is going to be quiet. I'd like to enjoy hearing you without a pessimistic commentary."

I shrugged. "I don't know what to say."

He opened the door for me again, and I turned to face him, walking backwards through the courtyard. "Remember that time you were walking backwards through the woods and you tripped on an anti-christ?"

I smiled and held my hands out to him. "Come hither, my anti-anti-christ device."

"That's a double negative." He took my hands obediently.

"Well calling you my christ device is not only blasphemy, but a little confusing."

"Everything you say is confusing," he scoffed.

"Then why do you insist on hearing what I have to say?"

"Because it's extremely entertaining."

"So—" I cut myself off with a squawk as I tripped backwards on a loose stone on the courtyard's path, landing on my bum, Riku toppling forward and shoving me onto my back. "Ow…" I grumbled, and realized his face was inches from my chest. Immediately and instinctively, I shoved his head to the side, rolling him off of me. We sat up, rubbing the back of our heads, my cheeks flaming.

"I find it very _convenient_ how you always manage to land on _top_ of me!" I screeched.

He smirked. "What a coincidence. So do I."

* * *

**I stayed up a considerable amount of hours past my bedtime working on this. I was fueled by three things: Pepsi. Utada Hikaru. And all the reviews you gave me, you sexy people you.**


	61. Chapter 61 Walking After You

I was shocked at how excited Riku was when we got to the music shop. There were hundreds of shelves crammed into a tiny space, the walls stacked to the ceiling with discs, the corners piled with records. There was a podium in the very back corner of the room, and it was covered in photos of sweaty men and women playing instruments and waving beer in the air. A boombox sat in front of it, Janis Joplin's despairing growl asking us to take another piece of her heart. I appreciated her bravery. Leaning against the podium was a man of about fifty, a cigarette dangling from his lip, tattoos speckling his bald head, piercings glinting in the light squeezing in the windows, past the shelving. He was pouring over a magazine, not bothering to shoot us a glance as we stepped inside.

I wasn't too surprised by this – Riku had ditched the Organization's jacket just before we stepped into town, so he looked a bit less Grim Reaper and a bit more buff-guy-who-doesn't-own-a-proper-shirt. Besides, this shop owner seemed like the kind of person who wasn't thrown off by appearances. I peeked around Riku's arm as he fondled a greatest hits album of Aerosmith, then the Clash, then an album by D.A.D. – he didn't put any of these back, by the way – and then he looked over at the man in the corner.

"You sell CD players here?" he asked.

This got his attention. Raised eyebrows revealed deep-set, bloodshot eyes. "You don't mean an iPod?" Riku shook his head. "You're the smartest man to step into this shit-hole." The man pointed to a shelf full of CD's – then I realized there was a box sitting at the foot of it. "A hundred munny a piece. Just need an outlet to hook it up to."

"Thanks." He nodded appreciatively and went back to snagging albums up.

Janis Joplin and the melancholy guitar faded away and a new song pulsated through the room, electric guitar buzzing, drifting into the background as a masculine voice took the foreground.

"_Run and tell all of the angels – this could take all night. I think I need a devil to help me get things right."_

Riku's head, which had been cocked curiously as he took in the new sound, now snapped towards me, a look in his eye I hadn't seen for a while.

"This band," he said, very seriously.

I held my hands up helplessly. "Call me ignorant, but…"

"The Foo Fighters."

I blinked at him. "I don't think I've ever heard them."

He grabbed my arm and drug me away from the first four letters of the alphabet, leading me to the second shelf. He flipped through a few CDs before pulling out three albums. "This band," he repeated.

"What about them?"

He held up one of the albums, his stoic expression contradicting the excitement in his eyes. "Best music."

"So wonderful you can't speak a whole sentence," I remarked.

"You need to listen to this." He stacked the CDs in his palm and walked over to the box of CD players, pulling out a box that was about a cubic foot, with a small handle on top, and taking it to the man at the podium. "How much?" he asked.

The man looked from Riku, to the CDs, to me, and back to Riku. "The CD player's on the house. Each album's twenty munny."

"Got it." Riku sat the CDs and thin box on the podium and the man ducked behind it, popping back up with a paper bag, setting everything inside it. After paying, taking the bag, and answering the man's farewell of "Stay cool" with "If you insist", we stepped into the street, Riku peering into his bag with forced nonchalance. He realized I was grinning at him and shot me a look.

"What," he said darkly.

"You're so _cute_ when you're excited." _It's like you turn into a little kid again. _I decided not to add that part, considering he looked surprised enough that I said what I did.

Something dark moved behind him and I poked my head around him to see a shadow waddling towards us. _Dang it! Why won't they go away?_

"You shouldn't be out here!" I hissed, and before I could wave it away, it latched onto my leg. My eyebrows popped up as it nuzzled against my shin, and I lifted my leg, trying to shake it off. "What… This isn't _Nemo_?" I asked, bending down and to look it in its little yellow eyes. It peeked at me around my leg, blinking at me. "Are you Nemo?" It nodded. _You're a heartless! What do you know, anyway?_ "Are you a pretty little girl?" I challenged. It nodded again.

"Smart shadow," Riku remarked.

I snorted and realized that while I'd been fooling with this shadow, he'd ripped open one of the Foo Fighters' albums, peeking at the pamphlet inside. He looked over at the heartless on my leg indifferently. "You want to keep it, don't you?" he asked, arching an eyebrow at the heartless.

I twisted my lips to one side. "Sort of," I admitted.

"Then we need to get to the mansion before someone sees us with it." He stuffed the pamphlet back into the case and stuffed the case into the bag, carrying it as we walked towards the mansion. The shadow sat on my foot as I walked, so that I wobbled uncomfortably alongside Riku. We finally reached the mansion and the shadow was thrilled by the huge foyer; it flew from my leg and started leaping everywhere around the room, literally bouncing off the walls.

"It's so _hyper_," I said in awe.

"See the effect you have on dark beings?" Riku remarked, walking to the library.

My stomach growled before I could reply. "I'm gonna grab some food real quick," I said, heading for the kitchen.

"Like what?" he called across the foyer. "Rotten eggs and bacon?"

"Like an energy bar! Those expiration dates were set for friggin' doomsday!"

We stepped into the separate rooms and just before the kitchen door shut, the shadow zipped in, sitting on the counter and watching me curiously as I opened the cabinet. I pried open one wrapper and took a bite of the chocolate brilliance, staring at the shadow awkwardly.

"If you think I'm naming you, you're wrong," I said matter-of-factly. "I only named Nemo because he was sticking around. I don't know if you're sticking around. And if you turn into a creepy, selfish person like he did, I don't _want_ you around." It just stared at me. "I don't care if you snuggle up to me. I really don't." It cocked its head to the side and blinked. I grit my teeth. "I don't even know what kind of name would suit you!" I snapped, turning to walk away. The cold little shadow latched onto my back, hooking its arms around my shoulders and nuzzling its face against the back of my neck. I munched on my energy bar furiously, determined not to go all gushy over the thing.

I stepped into the library to see Riku sprawled in the chair, feet propped up on the desk, arms dangling over the side of the armrests, head dangling backwards, eyes closed beneath the sunlight streaming in through the window. The CD player was plugged in and that masculine voice from before was crooning to a distorted electric guitar, the beat of the drums quick and steady. "_Come down and waste away with me, down with me slow, how you wanted it to be._"

I stood next to Riku, watching his lips mouth every lyric. I munched on the chocolate silently, letting the sounds drift across the room.

"_And I wonder, when I sing along with you, if everything could ever feel this real forever. If anything could ever be this good again._"

His eyes flew open suddenly and we both jumped a little.

"Sorry," I said, feeling like a creeper and trying to find a decent excuse for it. "Uh…" I held my energy bar out towards him. "Want a bite?"

He smiled, sat upright, and chomped off half of it. My eyes widened at him as he munched away happily. "Thanks for leaving me some," I said.

He nodded seriously, then laid back in his chair again, pressing one finger against his lips and resting his hands on his stomach. The shadow on my back jumped off and ran back into the foyer as I refocused on the music.

"_Breathe out, so I can breathe you in, hold you in._"

I sat down on the desk, between Riku's feet and the CD player, finishing the rest of my energy bar and straightening the wrapper in my hands as the song played on.

"_I know you've always been out of your head. Out of my head I sang_…"

Riku's foot slapped the side of my arm and I looked up at him. "What's on your mind?" he asked.

I glanced at his open vest. "We left your jacket out in the forest."

He snorted and wiped his face with one hand, shaking his head. "I swear…"

My eyebrows knit and I slapped his leg with the back of my hand. "What?" I demanded.

He tugged his feet off the desk, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, hands dangling between his legs lazily. He smirked up at me. "You are not what I expected."

My eyes narrowed. "I've made noses bleed for less insulting comments," I said.

"You've given me nose bleeds since I first _saw_ you," he retorted.

I glared at him. "Why do I feel like you're not talking about a punch in the nose?"

"It might be because I'm not."

I rolled my eyes. "Pervert."

"Tease."

"How am I a tease?" I demanded.

He looked down at my legs, which were about two inches from his face. He looked back up at me and raised his eyebrows skeptically. I didn't know how to respond, and the new song that played caught my attention. Acoustic guitar accompanied the voice that was singing barely above a whisper; the only percussion was a gentle cymbal.

"_Things just won't do without you, matter of fact. I'm on your back. If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you_."

I arched an eyebrow at Riku.

"You planned this," I accused.

He shook his head calmly. "_I_ just have exceptional taste in music."

"Right," I said incredulously. "—And just because _you_ decided to put zero distance between yourself and my knee, does _not_ make _me_ a tease."

He smirked. "'Zero distance'? It doesn't seem like 'zero distance' to _me_. Your judgement must be impaired."

There was an incredibly loud thud from the foyer that scared Riku into standing up – I would've laughed at him, had I not been so surprised, myself. I hit the power button on the CD player and it went dead, creating a tense silence as we stared at the library doors. They were cracked open just enough that we could see shapes moving on the other side – that is, I could, until Riku summoned the bat-sword and turned to face the door completely, stepping in the middle of my view. I stood up and peered over his shoulder.

"Bad window, good door," I hissed, just loud enough for him to hear me.

He held one finger up to his lips, cocking his head to listen.

A gruff voice barked across the foyer, the tone wavering in pitch unbelievably. It would've been very akin to Goofy's, if it hadn't been so rough. "Darn heartless! Never listenin' to me! Maleficent oughta scope out these places on her _own_ if she wants 'em so bad!"

"Shit," Riku whispered, storming towards the doors.

I caught his arm and yanked him back. "Wait!" I hissed. "You're not going to let him know you're out and about?"

"I'm going to send a _message_ to Maleficent." He started towards the door again and I heaved backwards, making him rock on his heels and stomp the floor as he came to a halt. He turned and laid a glare on me that I thought he reserved for Xehanort.

"Not yet," I whispered.

"What was that?" gasped the obnoxious voice from the foyer, and we froze. "Who's there?"

Riku rolled his eyes and tugged me towards the shadows of the open staircase – we never _did_ fix that bookcase-door – and he summoned a wall of darkness. It had to be pretty thin, though, because I could see through it as Maleficent's employee walked cautiously into the library. Riku shook his head disgustedly, gritting his teeth. "Pete," he muttered.

Pete was a very large, very round, and very ugly animal. I couldn't tell if he was a dog or a cat or what, but I was already fed up with him. He looked over at the bookcase, jaw dropping, eyes widening with fear.

"Wh-Who made _this_?" he muttered.

The shadow from earlier launched itself feet-first at Pete's head, ricocheting off of it and tackling me. Pete sputtered angrily as I stumbled backwards, groping for something to hang onto, and Riku snagged my wrist, keeping me balanced. I bit my lip, trying not to make noise as the heartless wrapped its arms around my neck, a sort of gurgling purr radiating from it. It buried its face in my neck and a chill ran up my spine from its freezing body.

"Well, uh, I'm sure that's just a, er, basement!" Pete said. "Yeah! That's just a basement." He looked around, turning away from the bookcase. He caught sight of the desk and waddled over. "Oooh, what are _these_ goodies?"

I held in a snort. _He's so disturbing._

Riku's grip on my wrist tightened, and I realized that Pete was holding up the CDs, mumbling remarks as he shoved each one into his pocket. "…They look like pansies… This looks like it's for kiddies… Ooh, that could be a heartless…"

I looked down at the heartless around my neck. _I wonder if I can get you to take the CDs back…?_

Itpressed its feet against my chest and leapt out towards Pete, landing beside him, reaching into his pocket and pulling out each CD.

"Wha—? _You_!" Pete snapped, reaching for the heartless, but it launched itself into the air, doing a backflip and landing beside me with all the albums.

_Well _that_ was easy…_

It blinked at me and handed me the CDs. I stuffed them into my messenger bag and smiled at Riku, who was watching us with raised eyebrows. I gave him the thumbs-up.

Pete was cussing and stomping his feet, heading back for the door to the foyer, and I leaned against the wall, sitting down at the top of the stair, legs stretched across the way. Riku waited – I assumed for the sound of the front door shutting – and finally took down the wall of darkness. The shadow clambered into my lap, blinking at me and cocking its head to one side.

"You did good," I said, patting its head with one hand, and it started purring again. I leaned my head against the wall and shut my eyes. _Looks like I'm getting better at using darkness…_

"Would you like to explain to me _why_ I shouldn't hunt him down and beat the shit out of him?" Riku snapped at me.

I opened my eyes and shot him a look. "I shouldn't _have_ to. Think about it, Riku, if we follow Pete, he'll lead us to Maleficent. Then, when she leasts expects it, we can ambush her."

"And what about Sora?" he challenged. "I can't be in two places at once!"

"Sora can handle himself. He made it through so many worlds, not only without your help, but with you as an _opponent_!" I sat up, scooting the shadow off my lap and standing up, crossing my arms. "And don't forget Donald and Goofy. It's not like he's all alone."

"They're hardly helpful!" he scoffed.

"Didn't _King Mickey_ send them to help Sora?" He didn't reply. "He's going to be fine, Riku. Calm down."

"Calm down?" he echoed, staring at me skeptically. "Do you _know_ how much Maleficent fucked with my head? She made me believe she was the only friend I had! The only one I could trust! Do you know what an _idiot_ I was for thinking I could trust her?"

It finally registered with me, how much she'd effected him. I felt anger sweep over me as he took a deep breath, wiping his face with one hand.

"When you're ready to decapitate her, believe me, I'll be pinning her neck to the chopping block," I said. "But she's planning something, she may have already set it in motion, and we might want to figure out what it is before—"

"I _know_ what it is," he said, crossing his arms, glaring at the floor. "She wants to take over all the worlds, and she's using darkness to do it."

"Well… Could we turn darkness on her?"

"I don't know." He shook his head. "The last time I saw her, Xehanort had full control over me, and I unlocked her heart…"

I swallowed, the memory of Riku's keyblade in my shoulder making me tense. "We'll figure it out," I said, nodding. "Let's track down Pete, before—"

"No, I know where she is."

My eyebrows popped up. "What?"

"She's in Hollow Bastion."

"You mean that run-down castle outside of Radiant Garden?"

"Yeah."

I punched him in the shoulder. "Are you totally fucking _stupid_? Why wouldn't you go hack her head off while we were there?" I shouted.

"So you wanted me to go attack the witch of darkness that'd turned me into her puppet – the witch that I only wriggled free of because Xehanort had me use the keyblade on – the witch that I didn't even _defeat_, Sora did – while you visited your friends?"

"_After_ I visisted them, then! We were right there! We could've—"

"No, we couldn't! You're still under the influence of darkness. The _last_ thing _either_ of us needs is to go up against Maleficent only to have her turn you against me!"

"'Under the influence of darkness'? Did you _see_ what that heartless did for me just then?"

"How do you know it wasn't obeying Xehanort?" he challenged.

"So I'm just a hindrance, then? If I wasn't so vulnerable, you could go take out Maleficent?" I snapped. I hadn't meant it seriously, but once I said it, the weight of it set in. He stared at me silently, and I was too riled up to pay attention to his expression. "It's true, isn't it?" I asked quietly, my voice cracking. This pretty much wrecked my composure, made me feel ten years old, and I stared at my feet, where the shadow was hooked around my right ankle. I kept waiting for him to say something, to correct me, but he was silent. I wiped my face with one hand and walked past him, towards the library door. _I need space before I lose it in front of him._

I was about ten feet into the foyer when he caught my arm and I turned around.

"God damn it, will you _give_ me a minute?" he snapped, laying his hand on my shoulder. "I know _you're_ Miss Witticism, but that doesn't mean _I_ have an immediate response to everything!"

"If I'm holding you back from something, I'll butt out," I said.

"Are you serious? You think I want you to butt out?" he scoffed.

"You may not _want_ me to, but look at the situation! If I'm the only reason you can't go defeat Maleficent—"

"I don't _know_ if I can defeat Maleficent."

"Well you _definitely_ can't, if you're worrying about _me_ the whole time. If it's easier for you to take her out if I leave, then I'll leave."

"I'd just end up following you."

That was sweet, but I was still frustrated, and I shook my head, staring at the floor. "I _hate_ that I can't help you," I grumbled.

"Right back at you."

* * *

**YOU ARE WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS, PETE. YOU.**

**Sorry, just needed that off my chest. **

**Oh my goodness gracious, thank you so much for the reviews. They always make my heart all warm and fuzzy inside. I really appreciate it!**


	62. Chapter 62 Pants and Vests and Shadows

_There's nothing around except darkness as I stand stock-still, watching for some glint of gold, some glimmer of teal. The silence is nearly deafening, the chill raising goose bumps on my arms and hairs on my neck. _

_A voice breaks the silence – I recognize it as Mom's. "You shouldn't have followed him."_

_I look around for her rich brown hair – her tall, hardy figure – I don't see her. "You're wrong. I had to."_

_Her voice turns pleading, cracking with a sob behind me. "My baby's covered in darkness. I can't believe you'd do this to me."_

_I turn around and see Xehanort standing there, holding Mom's hands behind her back as she shakes her head, tears slipping down her cheeks. Anger rocks through me, my veins pounding with fury, my eyes snapping to Xehanort's. "Let her go!" I shout, stepping forward and gripping his neck._

"_What are you waiting for?" Riku's voice slips out._

_My grip loosens as my eyes search for teal – any hint of Riku, any hint of his motive behind that horrid gold. "Where are you?" I whisper, and the second I do, my throat is seized by a massive, freezing hand._

"_Oh, god. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Miyuki, please believe me." The words are spoken in Riku's voice, but it's Xehanort's face, Xehanort's eyes, Xehanort's hand. It's crushing my throat; I can't breathe; I hear Mom crying. My hands struggle to reach his throat, my eyes pleading for Riku to appear._

_My throat collapses and instead of being horrified, I find the rage inside me boiling, like the urge to exhale. Xehanort releases my throat and steps back, watching as I fall to my knees, slamming the floor with my palm, trying to breathe. _

"_I knew I'd defeat you eventually," he said, smiling triumphantly. "I knew I'd always be the strongest in darkness."_

_Something inside my chest snaps, and air rushes out of my mouth like a flood, my entire body shuddering. I stand up and every joint in my body snaps, refreshing my muscles, renewing my strength._

"_Miyuki, no!" Mom screams. I look over to see her on her knees, hands clenched into fists beneath her chin, rocking back and forth with each violent sob. "Not my baby. Not turning into darkness. No… No…"_

"_What did you _do_ to her?" I said, glaring at Xehanort._

"_It isn't _my_ fault you broke your mother's heart."_

"_Stop bullshitting me." I step forward, and he steps back – with each step I take, he retreats._

"_Kill him, Miyuki," Riku's voice escapes Xehanort's lips._

"_You wouldn't hurt your lover, would you?" Xehanort scoffs, still backing away from me._

_I pivot on my left foot and dig the right into Xehanort's ribs – he grips my foot and twists, trying to spin me over, but he isn't strong enough. I clutch his shoulder with my left hand and slam my right fist into his jaw. He shoves me away and holds both hands up towards me, a sphere of darkness collecting there._

_My hand instinctively raises, as well, and I feel fire strike up in my palm. Suddenly the black flames spread up my arm, covering my body. I shudder with the cold fire, and my hand lowers to my side as the darkness in Xehanort's hands flies towards me. I brace myself for some sort of impact, some sort of violent attack, but it passes right through me. I barely feel it._

"_Impossible…?" Xehanort whispered, gawking at me._

"_I'm _really_ tired of people staring at me like that," I muttered, stepping forward and clutching his throat with one hand. "Goodnight, Xehanort."_

I woke up expecting the scent of bacon, and was thoroughly disappointed when there was nothing.

_Breakfast could've been ready by now, if DiZ would go to sleep at the right time!_

I struggled to sit up and realized three things at once. First, I was not in my bedroom. Second, it was only me and Riku in this giant house. Third, Riku had his arm hooked across the front of me and over my shoulder, his face buried in my neck, and was not supporting his weight at all. My elbows buckled and with a _poof_, my head hit the pillow. My eyes were covered with grey and I had to exhale through my mouth to keep from eating his hair.

"P-Proximity," I muttered.

Instead of waking him up and freaking him out the way I'd intended to, the word seemed to send him into that state of denial so often produced when you start to wake up and don't want to. He tightened his grip around me, his torso crushing mine.

"Need air!" I croaked, shoving him off and sitting up.

"Mm?" His arm dangled around my waist as he fell onto his side. "Wha's'matter?" he grumbled.

I looked around at Riku's room, then glared down at him. "When exactly did we step into your bedroom? Because _I_ remember falling asleep in the _library_."

"Pill's an' blank's," he slurred, and flipped over, wrapping himself in the blanket, his back to me.

I knew he meant pillows and blankets, but it was too easy to pick on him. "Pills? There are better ways of getting into a girl's pants besides date-rape drugs, you know."

"Like you're wear'n pants," he slurred again.

Eyes widened in horror, I looked down at myself and saw that I was still wearing my shorts. "What are you talking about?" I demanded, punching his back.

He flinched and propped himself up on his elbow, shooting me a look over his shoulder. "Tiny. Little. Shorts."

"Wide open vest!" I retorted.

"That's different. Guys walk around without shirts all the time."

"And girls walk around in short shorts all the time! Besides, I thought you'd _like_ the view, Mr. Reputation."

"I don't like to share," he grumbled, sitting upright and struggling to kick all the covers off his legs.

"Obviously, blanket hog."

"Whatever. Don't punch a sleeping man. He won't always respond pleasantly."

"How many men do you _really_ think I'm going to wake up next to?" I scoffed.

He gave me the once-over before swinging his legs over the side of the bed and standing up. "If you keep wearing those shorts, more than you'd like."

I rolled my eyes. "Alright, look. I'll get 'real pants' if _you_ get a real shirt."

"I _have_ a real shirt." He walked over to his dresser and opened a drawer – then shut it and opened another – he made it to the bottom drawer before staring at me blankly. "I have no real shirt. All that's in here are jackets."

I shrugged. "I can buy you a new shirt."

He shook his head, looking back down at the dresser. "No, that's okay," he said quietly.

"So you'll let me run around in these shorts?" I looked down at myself. Now that he mentioned it, they _were_ pretty tiny, and I wasn't so sure I wanted to run around in them if they made me look racy.

His eyes snapped back to mine. "_No_."

I snorted. "So let me buy you a shirt."

"No, I know what I'll do." He pulled out a jacket and shook it out. "Do you have scissors?"

"Oh _come on_," I scoffed. "You're not seriously walking around with a clipped up jacket as a shirt?" I clambered off the bed and walked over to him.

"No scissors? I'll use fire, then."

"Yes, very smart, set it on fire and burn the whole house down."

"This is a brick house. Stone doesn't burn." A flame appeared in his hand and he started searing the sleeves off the coat – to my surprise, it really didn't catch on fire, just destroyed the stitching – and they reminded me of my dream.

"Hey… Uh… Last night, did you…?"

He rolled his eyes, face turning the slightest shade of red. "You can't fall asleep comfortably in the library, so I put you in the bed up here."

"What?" My eyebrows popped up. "And then you just decided to smother me with your arm?"

"Hey, when I fell asleep, _you_ were the one snuggling up to _me_!" he said defensively, and the right sleeve of the jacket hit the floor. He stomped out any remnants of fire and started working on the other sleeve.

"I wasn't talking about your creepy sleep relocation tactics!"

"I was trying to be considerate! –Never mind! What _were_ you talking about?"

I swallowed. "I had a really… bad dream last night." I crossed my arms and stared at the second sleeve as it hit the floor.

"I… don't remember my dream," he said quietly, burning off the hood of the jacket.

"Xehanort had a hold of Mom, and when I tried to stop him, I realized he was controlling your body. He crushed my throat… Mom was crying and saying I'd turned into darkness…" I shrugged. "But I stopped him. He tried to attack me with darkness and it just floated right through me. I was about to off him when I woke up."

He swallowed. "Hunh."

I nodded slowly as the hood fell to the floor, waiting for Riku to fill the silence. "So what'd you say your dream was about, again?" I asked.

"Oh, I don't, uh, remember it."

"You _suck_ at lying," I scoffed.

"No, I suck at lying to _you_! It doesn't make sense!" he said agitatedly.

"So was it something kinky? Is that why you're not telling me?"

His voice lowered, his expression darkening. "It doesn't mean anything."

"Except that you have a high libido."

"I dreamt that I was fighting your darkside." My teasing attitude now flew out the window, and Riku's voice was very quiet as he shortened the jacket. "Your dream sounds like it went the same way mine did. I even remember your Mom crying."

"So we had the same dream again, I just saw you as Xehanort and you saw me as my darkside? Except… you didn't see me through my darkside." I didn't know whether to feel hurt or concerned.

The flame in his hand vanished, the length of the jacket fell to the floor, and he examined the newly made vest.

"Say something," I urged.

"I didn't realize it, but I was fighting you," he muttered. "This is exactly what I was talking about. I _knew_ we'd end up fighting one another, and _not_ just for training."

I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes. "Alright, Batman, the last thing we need is for you to say 'I told you so'."

He shook his head and turned to me, clutching the vest in a death grip in his right hand. "I can't fight darkness anymore. All the _countless_ battles I've dealt with, the _countless_ times I've fought off heartless, and now I have to stop because it might be you."

My eyebrows knit. "What are you trying to say? This is inconvenient for you?"

"I'm trying to say—I don't know what I'm trying to say! I don't know why I can't see you past the darkness! I don't know how I'm going to function when the only person that matters to me more than Sora is turning into a heartless!"

"But I'm still _me_!" I said, pointing to myself.

"Your darkside certainly didn't show it!"

"My darkside isn't me! Just because you can't see me, doesn't mean I'm not _there_!"

"So how am I supposed to keep _any_ dark being from trying to completely possess my heart, without worrying that _you're_ behind it? I can't hurt you again!"

"It's not like Xehanort can control me anymore!"

"Just because your darkside—"

"_Listen_ to me! If my darkside could beat you and Xehanort—"

"Exactly! _Me and Xehanort_! Meaning if your darkside kills him, I'm gone, too! And if one darkside was too much for me, I'd be dead by now. That dream was interrupted, Miyuki, and it wasn't for _my_ benefit."

I grit my teeth and ignored the offensive side of that statement. "So what do you intend to do about it?" He wiped his face, leaving his hand over his mouth, staring at the door. "You can send heartless back to the Realm of Darkness, right?" He nodded. "If I get rowdy, just send me there."

"And if I'm fighting you in that Realm?"

I paused. "Even if you can't see me, I can see you. The only reason I attacked you in the dream is that I heard you tell me to kill him."

He stared at me blankly. "I never said that."

"So Xehanort can imitate your voice now? Or…" _Or I can't tell the difference between the two of you._ The idea of not being able to find Riku broke my heart more than the idea of Mom being disappointed in my life choices. I stared at the floor, trying to regain composure. _I'd search for him until I physically couldn't move, but…_ "If I didn't recognize you…"

"Then I'll recognize _you_."

I snorted softly. "And if that doesn't work?"

"If my heart found yours so quickly _without_ my help, imagine what it could pull off _with_ it."

I brought my eyes up to his – he was perfectly serious. "I thought _I_ was the optimistic one," I muttered.

He smirked. "With shorts like those, you'd convert many a pessimist."

I rolled my eyes and took the makeshift vest from his hand, unzipping it and holding it out towards him. "Well, put it on."

"Alright." He tugged off the yellow vest and pulled the black one on, leaving it unzipped as he scooted the yellow one back over it. I arched an eyebrow at him.

"All bets are off if you leave it hanging open," I said.

"But the fabric is rough against my sensitive skin," he said sarcastically, lazily zipping it up.

"I'm getting in touch with my sadistic side."

He snorted. "Heaven help me." He picked up my messenger bag, which was laying at the side of the bed, and handed it to me. "Let's hurry up, we don't want to lose track of Sora too much." He opened a dark corridor and stepped inside as I threw the strap over my head and shoulder.

I wavered, staring at the dark corridor hesitantly, Mom's grief-stricken cries echoing through my mind.

_What if I made a mistake when I took on darkness? Should I have gone home when Riku first told me to? _

The dark door started to waver, and I quickly hopped through, slamming into the front of Riku when I did.

"I know your judgment's impaired, but will you _try_ to keep up?" he remarked, turning from me and heading towards the other door.

"Smart-ass," I muttered, following him at a spitefully slow pace.

It took me a few moments of walking through the corridor, but I soon realized that I felt no chill, no change in temperature. My heartbeat was even – at least, I assumed it was – I didn't notice any changes. The dream resonated in my head like a haunting song. I recalled the snap inside my chest, the horrified words of my mom, Xehanort's perfect mimicry of Riku's voice, all too clearly. My hands now writhed around the strap of my messenger bag.

_I'm so desperate to believe that he's always in darkness with me…_

My logical side – though my optimistic side was desperately holding back these thoughts – was telling me that something bad was going to happen, if I placed all my belief in what my physical senses told me. But my logical side was drowned out by concern for Riku, Sora, Mom, and myself.

I had just stepped into Tram Common, and the dark corridor was just about to close, when I was tackled from behind. A shadow had latched onto me piggy-back style, burying its face in my hair. I reached up to pull it off and it scrambled down the side of my leg, latching onto my thigh upside-down. I stumbled back and swatted its hindquarters.

"No! Bad!" I scolded, and it let go of my leg, springing from the ground on its hands. It did a series of flips that I didn't bother to follow closely, and ended up standing in front of me and Riku, blinking at me. "_You_," I said. It nodded. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

I didn't know how – there was no mouth, only a slight crinkling of its eyes – but I knew it smiled at me.

"Did you see that?" I gripped Riku's arm with my right hand, pointing at the shadow with my left, feeling a tad insane. "Please tell me you saw that."

"What are you referring to?"

"The gymnast shadow _smiled_." I looked over at him and he arched an eyebrow at me. "You didn't see it?" I squeaked, and he shook his head silently. I looked back down at the shadow. "I think I'm going crazy."

"That's why we covered up my six-pack," he said calmly.

I let go of his arm to punch him in the shoulder. "Listen, you," I said to the heartless. "We can't go on like this. You can't be seen in public! The last time I tried toting one of your kind around as a pet, I got kicked out of a perfectly fine establishment."

"Want me to send it back to darkness?" Riku asked.

I stared at it a minute. "…No. Let me try." I took a deep breath and held one hand out towards it. _Go back home. Go back to darkness._ It blinked at me and shook its head. _…Go back home!_ Again, it shook its head. I dropped my hand to my side and my shoulders slumped. "Are you telling me 'no'?" It nodded. "You won't go back to darkness?" It shook its head. "And you're understanding everything I'm saying?" It nodded. My eyes narrowed and I crossed my arms. _Alright, wise guy._ "Is my shirt pink?" It shook its head.

Riku and I looked at each other.

"I can talk to it," I said. "I'm talking to a heartless. I'm carrying on a conversation with this little being of darkness."

"I noticed."

"I'm cracked."

"Your powers are developing."

"How can they be developing if I can't send the little twat back?"

"Not everyone has the same powers."

"So mine is being Oprah while you actually _do_ stuff?"

He gave me the once-over. "You're hardly Oprah."

I sighed and looked back at the heartless. "Well you can't just parade around! You gotta keep it on the down-low. Got it?" It nodded. "And if you think I'm naming you, you can forget it." It nodded again and sank into the ground, crawling to the shaded corner of the street. "Let's go shopping," I said to Riku, and I rounded the corner of the Item Shop, headed for the Accessory Shop.

I glanced over my shoulder at him as he trailed behind, and was going to remark on his slow pace when I slammed into someone that was colder than the Antarctic. I stepped back and gave this person the once-over. It was a woman with sickly pale green skin, swathed in black. She had a crow on her shoulder and a staff in her hand, and glared at me contemptuously.

"Fool of a girl! Had you a heart, I'd rip it from your chest!"

I arched an eyebrow at her. "Boy, the heartless are getting testier these days."

"Heartless?" she scoffed. A smile spread across her face slowly. "I am no mere heartless, child."

"No, you're obviously a heartless adult." _Holy fucking shit. This is Maleficent_. "Listen, lady, I have things to do, so if you'll excuse me—" I went to step past her, but she held her staff in front of me.

"I am Maleficent, the Queen of Darkness," she said, raising her nose in the air proudly.

I looked her up and down. _You're a real piece of work._ "I am Miyuki, the Queen of Tiny Pants. I'd like to rectify that."

She peered at me past her nose. "Allow me to assist." She stomped the staff on the ground once and my shorts were replaced with pants made of such loose, light fabric that they almost looked like a black skirt. They reached my ankles and I felt a little formal, but comfortable.

I smiled up at her. "Thanks!" The smile faded to a look of boredom. "I still gotta go."

"Ah, ah – nothing in this life is free, my little heartless." She laid a freezing hand on my shoulder, leaning her face towards mine, and I glared at her.

"Are you trying to kiss me or something? 'Cause I'm taken."

She smirked. "That isn't the sort of payment I was thinking."

"Good, because you may have given me new pants, but that doesn't mean they're coming off."

The smirk disappeared. "You obviously have a sharp mind. Surprising, for a heartless."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not a heartless."

"Oh? Then where is your heart?"

"Back with my lesbian lover, Paula. You'd like her, she has good taste in pants," I said sarcastically.

She arched an unamused eyebrow at me. "You're obviously a being of darkness. You reek of it. Yet, I've never witnessed such denial…"

"Oh, you're the type of girl who always gets what she wants? Well, times are changing." I headed down the street and hoped she was uninterested. No such luck.

"They are indeed," she said, following beside me with an elegant stride that contrasted my agitated trudging. "Miyuki… Tell me, would you be interested in—?"

"No, I wouldn't."

"I didn't finish my sentence," she said, and I could hear her desperation to keep her temper.

I rested my elbow on her shoulder and leaned my head towards hers. "Listen, Mal. I don't know if you realize it, but I like my life."

"I don't know if you realize it, but I can make your life ten times better," she replied just as smoothly, smiling.

I gave her a fake smile. "I highly doubt that."

"What is it that you want?" she asked, coming to a halt and seizing my arm so that I did the same, staring at me with piercing gold eyes. _Oh god, that eye color._

"I want you to leave me alone," I replied.

"The reason I ask, dear Miyuki, is because I am gathering several powerful individuals so that we might acquire an organized world. True peace will never be established until these individuals and myself have gained a certain amount of power. And true power will never be gained unless we have all the assets available."

"Oh, so I'm an asset?"

"Possibly the greatest I have stumbled upon to date," she replied, smiling. "The only thing you lack is the power within you refuse to confront."

I rolled my eyes. _Oh, for the love of…_ "First Dad, then Xehanort, now you. I'm getting sick of being told that I'm not living up to my potential."

"Allow me to assist." She pointed to my chest and I slapped her hand away before her finger made contact.

"Keep your hands to yourself," I said darkly. She stared at me in shock, then busted out into fits of cackling. I shook my head and walked down the street, and the persistent witch followed me again. "Crazy old bat," I muttered.

"Do not mistake me, Miyuki," she said, her tone suddenly sharp and serious.

A row of huge, fat heartless popped up in front of me, waddling towards me, shaking the ground with each step. I stepped backwards, eyebrows raised at this development, and bumped into Maleficent again. She laid her arm around my shoulders, cooing in my ear.

"I give _nothing_ away for free. That article of clothing I just gave you holds magical properties, and I demand fair payment for it."

"Take your pants back, then."

"The magical property, you ask? Why, these particular trousers don't release their host until they've completed a certain task."

"Whatever." I didn't care if I had to walk around in my underwear. I wanted out of her grip. I slid my hands down to my hips, trying to tug the belt of the pants down, but they wouldn't budge. In fact, when I stopped tugging, they tightened around me. I took a deep breath and glared at her. "What task?" I growled.

She smiled. "Kill three people for me."

A chill ran up my spine and I swallowed. "Who?"

"I will show you when we come across them."

"Whatever. I still have my own affairs to tend to." I shoved her off and squeezed past the heartless.

"I'll fetch you when I require your assistance," she called after me. Stomping down the street without looking back, I flipped her the bird.

* * *

**Goodness gracious, I re-wrote this chapter a hundred times. Thank you for being so patient!**


	63. Chapter 63 Heartless

**So I was reading this list of life lessons from CLAMP, and #70 was "****Wherever you are, there is a Miyuki somewhere in the background." To those of you who say they keep expecting to see Miyuki lurking around the corner in KH: Thank you for making my life awesome.**

* * *

I was just outside the Sandlot when a warm hand hooked around my elbow and I looked over to see Riku.

"What happened?" he asked breathlessly.

"Oh, you look tired. Did you run real fast to reach me? You know, the moment I _don't_ need your immediate help?" I said bitterly.

He dropped my elbow and leaned forward, hands on his knees. "Your stupid heartless got in the way!" he panted.

"What, the gymnast shadow?" I scoffed. "That's the lamest excuse I ever—"

"_Nemo_," he snapped.

My eyebrows felt like they were going to pop off of my face. "_What_?"

"He was begging me to help him. _Man_, I hate that guy."

"What did he need help with?"

Riku stood up and crossed his arms, staring at me exhaustedly. "The Organization's after him and he didn't know who else to go to except you. You can imagine his disappointment when all he got was me."

"What did you do to him?" I asked.

"Threw him into Atlantica. I highly doubt they're _that_ desperate to kill him."

"You gave him gills, right?"

"I _knew_ I forgot something…" He then laid a disdainful gaze on me. "Yes, Miyuki, I gave him gills."

"Well, that's just great! He's bumming around Atlantica while I get put in the devil's pants!"

His eyebrows knit. "What?"

"Maleficent decided to give me a new pair of pants that I can't get out of until I kill three people. When I try to pull them off, the belt just gets tighter. I'm going to be cut in half by a pair of cursed pants."

"Three people," he echoed.

"She was very vague about their identities, but I think it's safe to say she meant Sora, Donald and Goofy," I said.

"Shit," he muttered, gritting his teeth. He glared at the wall behind me, hands clenching into fists. "I'm going to kill her. I'm going to kill her, then Orlando, then rip those pants off of you and burn them!"

"If you're going to rip my pants off, I'm not sure that I want your next action to be burning them," I remarked. "Man, it couldn't even have been something cool, like a necklace, or a bracelet. No, I get stuck with killer _pants_. Fuck my life!"

"Yen Sid," Riku said, suddenly looking very calm as he brought his eyes to mine.

"Gesundheit."

He snorted. "No, Yen Sid is an extremely powerful sorcerer. He'll know what to do."

"Well, let's get your jacket and blindfold, Batman. I want out of these stupid pants."

My mind spun as we made our way back to the hole in the wall. _We knew this was going to happen. I would be a threat to Sora eventually, whether or not Maleficent speeded things along._ I ran both hands through my hair, pushing it out of my face. _'Queen of Darkness'… If she can control it, and the majority of my heart is darkness, I might be in deeper shit than I figured._

I clambered over the rubble of the wall as Riku picked the jacket up, tugging it on over his shoulders. The blindfold tumbled from the sleeve and I caught it before it hit the ground, running my fingers over the soft black material. _I wonder… If this holds back darkness, would this make it difficult for her to control me?_

"Do you want help putting it on?" Riku asked.

I stepped behind him. "Nah, it's yours." I wrapped it over his eyes and tied the knot behind his head slowly. Something nagged at the back of my mind, that I should enjoy the moment while it was here. A fear of the uncertain reared its ugly head as my hands fell to the back of Riku's shoulders. _Confront it. That's what I need to do._ The only way to do that was to go see Yen Sid right away, but the dread inside me made me want to run.

Riku turned to face me and I crossed my arms, shoving back the fear. _It's just nerves. Everything's going to be fine._ "You alright?" he asked.

I nodded, bringing my eyes up to his blindfold and smiling a little. "It's just… tiring. Let's find out what Yen Sid has to say."

He nodded silently and something told me he knew I was holding back. The silence stretched on as we walked through the corridor, breaking only when we reached the other side.

"I was wondering when you would intrude," said a man's throaty bass voice.

Behind a light wooden desk sat a wrinkled old man with dark grey hair, thick black eyebrows and a judicious frown. His elbows rested on the desk, his fingertips pressed together, his dark eyes sizing me up.

"Master Yen Sid," Riku said, bowing his head slightly. "I'm sorry for bothering you. I'm Riku, a friend of King Mickey's—"

"Yes, yes," he said impatiently. "I know who you are."

"You do?"

"Of course I do. King Mickey speaks often of his friends." He landed a critical gaze on Riku. "As does Sora. What have you come for?"

"I'm under an enchantment of Maleficent's," I said, and the gaze he laid on me made me feel disrespectful. "…Sir," I added.

"Maleficent," he echoed. I nodded. He paused, then gestured for me to step forward. "What sort of enchantment has she cast on you?"

I stepped towards him until I was about three feet from the desk, and looked down at myself. "Well… She put these pants on me, and they won't come off until I've killed three people for her. When I tried to take them off, they just tightened."

"They cannot be removed until you've taken three lives?" His eyes pierced into mine in a way that should've unsettled me, but I felt oddly confident.

"That's what she told me," I said steadily.

He stood up and studied my gaze for a very long moment. I was beginning to wonder if he had fallen asleep with his eyes open when he finally spoke.

"Physical force is useless. It would simply absorb the impact and constrict."

"So… You can't break the spell?" I asked quietly.

He paused for a long moment. "I am no stranger to divination," he said. "I have located missing persons, determined someone's strength, played on others' weaknesses, all with the assistance of divining sorcery. At this moment, I see that the majority of your heart relies on darkness for strength. I also see that the enchantment the witch Maleficent has bestowed upon you is tied directly into that darkness."

"What does that mean?"

He sighed and his expression softened. "Removing the enchantment isn't possible unless I remove the darkness it's attached to – and darkness heeds no one. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do."

"It's a pair of _pants_," Riku said. "There has to be _something_ we can do."

Yen Sid turned his gaze to Riku and arched a thick eyebrow. "They are not made of mere fabric; they have been woven with sorcery and darkness."

Riku paused, crossing his arms and looking down. My eyes hovered on him, an idea slowly forming in my head.

"What if we just off her when she takes me to kill Sora?"

His head tilted up towards me. "What?"

"That could work, right?" I asked Yen Sid. "That could break the spell?"

"Yes, but the damage that breaking the spell would inflict on your heart would be substantial," he answered.

"Sounds like I'll have to deal with that damage either way," I said, shrugging, and looked back to Riku. "You won't have to say anything to Sora. We'll make him aware of Maleficent's presence, the three of us hack her head off, and you and I can run off without a word."

"Somehow, I don't think it's going to be that easy," he said warily.

"It'd be difficult when Sora recognizes me, but we can run two different ways and meet up out of sight," I suggested.

"That wasn't what I meant… I have a bad feeling about this."

I smiled a little. "Two Keyblade bearers and a lot of hard feelings can go a long way."

Riku looked to Yen Sid. "What do _you_ think?"

"The girl makes her mind up quickly."

I didn't know whether to feel relieved that he didn't oppose my plan, or worried that he didn't support it. Riku didn't seem to know how to take it, either, and turned his attention to me again.

"I don't know," he said quietly. "Something about this isn't sitting right with me."

I shrugged. "I just want out of her grip."

He nodded slowly. "We'd better get back to Twilight Town and wait for her, then."

I smiled at Yen Sid. "Thanks for putting up with us."

"Yes, thank you," Riku said respectfully.

"It was no problem," was his reply, the frown unwavering, but his words kind.

Riku opened a dark corridor and let me step through first, following close behind me. I expected my feet to hit the brick streets of town, but instead they hit grass and fallen leaves. I looked to my right and saw the hole in the wall, about two feet ahead of me, the wall directly beside me – to my left stood the forest leading to the old mansion, and Riku, who took my arm and gently turned me to face him.

"I don't want to go through with this," he said, clutching my hand in his.

"What, offing Maleficent? I thought you'd jump at the chance."

"We should just leave – she can't track down us _and _Sora at the same time."

I stared at him incredulously. "You know me. The _last_ thing I'm going to do is run from her."

"Something is wrong, Miyuki. I don't like this."

I spoke slowly, choosing my words carefully. "Are you sure you're not just… transferring?"

"What do you mean?" His voice was tense, and I wasn't sure how to continue without pushing a button.

"I mean…" I racked my brain for a moment and nothing came to mind. _Oh, screw it._ "Are you sure you're not just afraid of facing Maleficent because of what happened with her when you were younger?"

He dropped my hand now and crossed his arms. "I'm sure," he growled.

My eyebrows lifted. "Then why are you bristling at me?"

"I'm not bristling!" I just stared at him. "Look, just because _you're_ convinced that I'm obsessed with what happened, doesn't mean that _I_ can't look past it!"

"I know you can look past it, but I also know that she really screwed with you! I don't want you to be afraid of something that I know you can handle."

"I told you, _I don't know if I can defeat her_."

"But Sora can. With the three of us working on her, she'll be dead meat!"

He shook his head. "That doesn't shake the feeling that something's going to go wrong," he said quietly.

"We'll be alright," I said, more to myself than to him. No matter how much my logical side insisted things were fine, I had the same unease as Riku – I was just able to suppress it.

After a brief pause, Riku tugged the blindfold off. "Maleficent shouldn't be able to control the darkness inside you, if it's being hidden by this."

I shook my head. "I need to be able to see," I said. "My eyesight isn't as sharp as yours."

"…Tie it on your wrist?" He shrugged.

I arched an eyebrow at the cloth. "Will it work if it's not over my eyes?"

He shrugged. "It's worth a shot."

I sighed and sat back against the wall, my knees halfway to my chest. There was a soft silence and my thoughts turned to… my pants. My head hung with exhaustion. _I just _had_ to go and mention my shorts. I'm never giving any kind of information to anyone ever again. They take it and run with it and this is what I get._ I buried my face in my hands, frustrated and tired of dealing with darkness and those involved.

My foot was lifted and I looked up to see Riku tying the blindfold around my right ankle. I felt knots twist in my stomach, and my face flared red as the knots tightened down my leg, my foot twisting as it rested on Riku's leg. He'd knelt down in front of me, his eyes trained on the blindfold as he fastened the knot there. My eyes wandered to my lap. _How much easier it would be, if we'd just met in the ice cream shop? We'd have some dorky relationship with trials as complicated as convincing Dad we're abstinent._ I shook my head and shut my eyes. _No. I need to keep my head on straight. Wishing things were different isn't going to help anything._

"What're you thinking about?" His voice in my ear seemed to set my every nerve on edge, and I became suddenly aware that his hand had slid behind my calf, his torso bent over my knees, his right hand pressed on the wall beside me.

Of course, this meant that my train of thought had come to a crashing halt, and all that came out as I turned my head to face him was, "Pants."

This seemed to remind him that Maleficent could appear at any given moment, and he laid his forehead on my shoulder, sighing heavily. "I wish she'd show up so we could just get rid of her, already," he muttered. He leaned back – oh, how I wished he wouldn't – and sat to my left, against the wall, pulling his left knee up and stretching his other leg out in front of him. He rested his head back against the wall, eyes shut, and I just stared at him for a long moment.

_I wish it was just you and me._

I yawned, a little surprised at how comfortable I actually was, and tilted my head back the same way as him. I was asleep in moments.

_My feet lead me to the waves lapping against the shore, halting once the cold water wraps around my skin. Goose bumps prickle up on my skin, and my eyes wander across the dark horizon. It's not Destiny Islands – I have no recollection of being here before – but it feels familiar, like déjà vu._

_I roll the hem of my green cargo pants up to my knees and step further into the water. I can feel eyes watching me, and look around at the shore at my back. Nothing. I walk further into the water, letting the cold waves envelop me. I'm in waist-deep, now, my pants drenched under the waves. My dry skin aches to feel the cool water. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I realize the danger of what I'm doing – but I don't pay attention to the warning._

_I lean my head back, shut my eyes, and let myself fall backwards into the water, my feet slipping out from under me. I'm immersed in the freezing ocean, water rushing around my ears, soaked to the bone – and still, my skin aches for a more raw, exhilirating sensation._

_Cold hands grab hold of my waist from beneath, and I hit the ocean floor – if you can call it that. It feels like I'm being held up by a thousand tiny hands, and they're all moving, all rushing around. They wrap over me and I realize that I can't breathe under water; then I find that I'm not breathless. Worry weighs on the back of my mind, but I suppress it, as though something's tearing my attention away from it. As though it's physically impossible to consider it. The worry turns to fear, and the fear turns to panic. I'm being enveloped not in water, but in darkness; I try to wriggle free, but in vain._

_His name is on my lips and I pray for him to find me as I'm pulled deeper and deeper beneath the surface. My skin is burning, my chest heaving in and out with each breath – but I don't feel my pulse. I should be hearing the pounding of my heart, I should feel it slamming in my wrists, I should feel it throbbing in my chest. But there's nothing._

_My heart is gone._

My head slammed against the ground and my eyes flew open to see the jagged hem of Maleficent's dress.

"Such potential, and you waste your time _napping_," she scoffed.

I sat up and rubbed the side of my head, glancing around for Riku. He was nowhere to be seen. _We must not have slept very long. It's still light out._ I subtly put my fingers to the crook of my jaw and neck, waiting for my pulse to rub against them. Nothing. _I must not be doing it right…_ "What's…" I yawned. "What's up, Mal?"

"I have located your targets. Rise, child."

I arched an eyebrow at her and wobbled to my feet, brushing myself off. I crossed my arms. "So who're the poor schmucks you want me to off?" I asked coldly.

She flashed a wicked smile. "You'll soon see. But first…" She lifted her hand towards me, as if handing me something – a dull throb resonated in my chest, then died away quickly. "A bit of assistance, to draw out your full power," she said cooly.

"Great," I growled.

She opened a dark corridor and gestured for me to step through. "After you."

I felt a lump catch in my throat as I stepped through the corridor, Maleficent right behind me. The aching that I recognized in the dream was back, but instead of believing the water ruse, I knew I craved the flames that'd enveloped me in Beast's Castle. No sooner did I realize this, than my palms filled with those flames. They slowly crawled up my arms, spreading across me just as before. My skin throbbed with pain, and the craving died down just a bit – I wondered if it could actually be satisfied. I was completely swathed in flames half-way down the corridor, starting to feel light-headed.

"_You're so weak,"_ scoffed Xehanort's icey voice.

I wanted to respond, but my mind couldn't form a sentence. I wanted to stop and take a moment to assess what was happening to me, but my feet wouldn't stop moving. I wanted to turn and look at Maleficent, and see what she was doing, but my neck kept me staring straight ahead. In the part of my mind that still had free will, I realized that she had control over me.

The flames were so cold against my skin that I felt my entire body going numb, and I shuddered with the temperature. My eyes were the only thing I could control – and as I stepped through the exit of the dark corridor, I lost vision.

I should've been furious, livid, outraged. I should've wanted to kill her, rip her apart with my bare hands, for manipulating me like this. But the only thing I wanted was to feel darkness seer further into my skin. I was starting to throb, to ache, to writhe beneath my burning skin, and I felt like the only thing that would ease the pain was darkness. I'd have given anything – all my munny – my sketchbook – my ring – to have that darkness. I would kill to have it.

I came to a halt – was it by my own will? – and Maleficent's calm, detached voice echoed in my head.

"_Your primary target is Sora."_

The name is familiar and something inside me is screaming to defy her, but with each syllable she spoke, the darkness strengthened, the flames burning deeper. I wanted to take a deep breath, inhale the element, bask in it – but my feet were pulling me forward, my hands cleanching into fists, my body leaning ahead as my pace quickened. The burning wasn't enough. The aching wasn't enough. If I hit him, would it strengthen, the way her words strengthened it?

I didn't realize that I'd outstretched my right hand until it came into contact with something soft, something that gave under my fist. A faint voice reached my ears, like I had cotton covering them.

"Whoa! What…? –Is that _you_, Miyuki?"

I heard the words, but they didn't register. All I knew was that the darkness felt stronger when I hit him, and suddenly I was attacking him with all of my physical ability. I felt a breeze of a blizzard spell, the collision of some large insect with my left leg. My right mind, buried beneath my desire for darkness, wondered that these might be the attempts of his friends.

Something struck me in the back, quickly and sharply. A dull throbbing arose there, and I doubled over, begging for the painful throb to turn to one of darkness.

"_Riku! Riku is now your primary target!"_ whispered Maleficent's voice with a sick excitement.

I stood upright and my hands twisted in something – fabric, probably – there was a dull thud and the darkness enveloping me was stirred. The flames were addictive – it felt as though it would burn straight to my bone, straight to my heart – if it was still there.

A warm voice melts through the flames, and anger rises as the words chase the darkness away.

"Miyuki, stop. This isn't you."

My hands tremble and move – I can't tell what they're doing, but darkness is creating a euphoria of pain, and I shudder with the addictive agony.

"It's Riku. It's me. Don't you recognize me?"

My chest throbs as my fingers contract, closing in on whatever they had a grip on. Something in that voice weakened my resolve, causing me to crave the torture of darkness with such fervor I felt my voice release a curse.

The voice sounds distracted, now. "_You_ did this. You're controlling her."

"_Kill him, Miyuki,"_ Maleficent commands.

Something snaps me in the side and my balance is lost – my feet lose their way, my hands grope the air for my target. They finaly catch hold of something and, desperate for the darkness to stir up once more, start pounding against the subject.

A loud snap resonated in my ears with incredible clarity, and I immediately came back to myself. My eyes flew open, scanning the surroundings frantically. A rooftop overlooking a city square, the buildings black, rain pouring down – this was where Riku and I captured Roxas. I barely had time to realize this, because just as my eyes opened, I felt myself being thrown back into what felt like a hot iron axe. I looked down at the black blade protruding through my chest and exhaled.

"Keyblade," I whispered.

"Miyuki?" breathes Riku's warm voice from behind me.

I look up to see Maleficent in front of me, her yellow eyes glinting at me. "A useless heartless meets a fitting end," she sneered.

It feels as though fire is shooting through every vein, and the witch pushes me aside, the Keyblade ripping out of my chest as suddenly as it'd torn into it. My legs stumbled beneath me, trying to catch myself, but my balance was gone. I felt myself becoming lighter as I managed to keep myself still for one split second. I held my hand up in front of my face and watched wide-eyed as it disintegrated into an all-too-familiar black smoke.

"Miyuki, hold still!" Riku commanded as he swung the Keyblade down on Maleficent's head. His attention was split when he realized what was happening to me, and that I was watching him helplessly. "You're by the edge! Don't move!" he snapped. Maleficent flicked her wrist at him and he flew backwards as my knees buckled, and I tumbled off the edge of the skyscraper.

_This is why I hate heights_, I thought.


	64. Chapter 64 Death & the Company It Kept

_What happened?_

I hadn't hit the ground in what felt like an eternity, and I assumed that I'd gone to the Realm of Darkness before getting that far. I still felt the sensation of falling, and ignored the panic that arose at this sensation by focusing on what'd just happened.

_Maleficent used me to attack Sora, then Riku, who I ended up slamming against a wall… What wall? There was no wall on top of the skyscraper. So… He must've teleported us while we were fighting. Somewhere Sora couldn't see us. Somewhere I couldn't hurt him._

"Welcome to your _true_ home," Xehanort greeted me.

My eyes flew open – though I didn't recall shutting them – and I stopped falling. I didn't hit the ground, I didn't snag on something on the way down, I just stopped. I looked around – I was sitting on a dark shore, black brambles on either side of me, inches separating me from them.

_What if Riku didn't beat her?_

The answer to that was halfway nice – he might come to the Realm of Darkness. But the other half meant losing everything in the Realm of Light, and I didn't want that for him.

_What if he _did _beat her?_

I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them, and Xehanort spoke up from behind me.

"That boy was never your friend. He never knew your true self. Miyuki, this is where you _belong_. You always have."

"That's not true," I muttered, leaning my forehead against my knees, shutting my eyes.

"Kiki…" His icy hand rubbed my shoulder, and I slapped him away, standing up quickly. Thorns tore through my arms, drawing dark blood, and I ignored the stinging sensation prickling on my skin. I glared at the man standing a few feet outside the tangle of brambles, putting four feet between me and a clear path.

"You are _not_ allowed to call me that!" I shouted, pointing at him. "That's my _Mom's_ pet name for me, and if you call me that one more time, I'm going to rip your throat out!"

"Why are you angry at me for pointing out the facts?"

"I'm not angry because you're pointing out your crackhead, illogical 'facts'! I'm pissed because you're a manipulative liar and I am _sick_ of manipulative liars." I looked behind me to see about a foot of waist-high brambles, and beyond that, the waves beating against the shore. I lifted my right foot to stomp the thicket down, and realized I was back in my old clothes. Red hoodie, green cargo pants, dirty old converse. I managed to get the brambles to about half their height before I realized they had ahold of my foot and it would take some tugging to get free. I launched myself up over the brambles and managed to put my left foot on the shore outside the thicket, something snagging and tearing as I pulled myself free of it. I thought the hem of my pants had ripped, but when I looked down at them, they were fine. I looked at the brambles and saw thin black fabric dangling there, the other half on the ground beside my foot. _The blindfold._ I pried one half off the brambles and picked the other off the ground.

"I guess it doesn't work if it's on your ankle," I muttered.

_I can't help him anymore. He's on his own._ Tears collected in the corners of my eyes and I blinked them into submission, shaking my head, refusing to think about it. I glanced up to where Xehanort had stood, but he was gone. I looked down the shore both ways – each side seemed to stretch on forever. I rubbed the back of my neck. _I'm on my own, too._

Not that I'd rather be in Xehanort's company, but the utter loneliness of the place had just hit me. I pulled my shoes off, tied the laces together and slung them over my shoulder. I didn't bother feeling for my pulse – I knew it wasn't there. I started walking along the shore and realized that I didn't have my messenger bag or ring. I tried to shove out the depression of that fact by taking in my surroundings. The only sound was the sand giving way beneath my feet and the waves caressing the shoreline.

_What does it mean that I have no heart? I was so covered in darkness that it just took it? But… How am I still _myself_?_

I recalled, of course, how _not_ myself I was – was it an hour ago? Two hours? Three hours, separating me from the moment that I lost myself? _How does someone come back from that?_

I glanced to my right, looking at the land further from the shore. All I saw was black shapes adjusting themselves anxiously. _Not even darkness is comfortable here._

My fingers played with the blindfold as I walked along the edge of the water, and I felt like time was being stretched out, my thoughts running in circles.

_Did I hurt anyone? Did I blow Riku's cover? I wonder what they're doing now. I hope they're alright. I hope they don't end up here._

I hoped this, partially because there was a very slim chance of ever getting out of here, and partially because I really didn't know how I would act around them. I tried to throttle them, I tried to murder them. What was I going to say?

I stared at the blindfold and snorted. "You won't have to," I said quietly. "They won't come here."

Hours passed – long, awful hours of nothing but that thought. My eyes had just turned from the blindfold in my hands to the empty shore, and realized it wasn't empty. A dark figure stood at the edge of the water, some hundred yards in front of me, hands folded behind their back, staring out at the ocean. _Is that…? No, if it was Xehanort, he wouldn't be so silent._

My hands clenched the blindfold in my hands with excitement, and it took all my restraint to not burst into a run as I approached the figure. If it was Riku – he was too tall to be Sora – the first thing I had to do was apologize, not tackle him. But as the distance between he and I closed, I realized the clothing was dark red, and far too dressy for anything Riku would wear. With about twenty feet separating us, I slowed to a stop and recognized Ansem.

For a long moment, I couldn't think of what to say. So much had happened that I wished he'd known about, so he could grant some insight, but now I didn't want him to know. Because the story ended here, with me, alone in the Realm of Darkness. I just wanted to be reminded of bacon and eggs and a dusty old mansion with a library whose bookcase revealed a computer room. I just wanted to go back to that place, and for a brief moment, I was. I hung my head and shut my eyes, imagining the smell of bacon. The warmth of my heart beating against Batman's. The awkward mornings spent making Naminé uncomfortable.

"It is good to see you again," Ansem's deep, regal voice broke my train of thought.

I looked up to see him staring at me sidelong, and I nodded. "I wish it'd been under different circumstances."

"What brings you here?" he asked.

I was silent, looking back at the waves. _I don't want to answer that._ Ansem waited a long moment before breaking the silence I'd let fall.

"I attempted to contain Kingdom Hearts by converting it to data and holding it within a machine," was his quiet confession. "I was a fool to think it was possible. I merely damaged it with the explosion of the machine." My eyes snapped up to him. _Is he… dead? Is this what happens to us when we die? Does my being here mean…?_ The answer to that was all too clear; if I wasn't dead, I may as well have been. I was already gone to everyone that mattered.

There was a long pause, and I was trying to think of something to say when he added, "It seemed to return Riku to his normal state."

My eyebrows popped up. "Batman isn't Batman anymore?"

He smiled a little. "His appearance is what it should be – but he still holds power that cannot be put out by any force. I've no doubt you helped him discover that truth."

The sweet comment brought tears to my eyes, and I bit my lip, turning to face the ocean, crossing my arms. "I gave in, Ansem," I said quietly. "I wanted the darkness. I wanted it so badly I hurt Riku and Sora. I told myself I wanted to protect them, but looking back… I think I just didn't want to be helpless anymore."

"To be unable to help the ones you love is a terrible feeling," was his near-inaudible reply.

I swallowed. "I dreamt that my Mom told me I made a mistake when I followed Riku. Maybe she was right. Maybe I shouldn't have insisted I join you. It'd have been better for everyone."

He shook his head. "I'm afraid I am the exception to that statement."

I wiped my nose. _Dammit. I'm crying._ "So am I." I paused. "…You know, I never used to cry. Not even when I had whiplash from crashing the gummiship. Not even over my parents. I think something in my brain snapped when I met Riku. Now I'm always upset."

"What upsets you at this particular moment?" he asked gently.

I crossed my arms. "Gee, there's a question. I didn't listen to him, I wrecked our plan, I tried to kill him and his best friend…"

"He killed your parents. He'll understand."

I snorted at his candor and found myself hooking one arm around his. "I'm here because I'm a heartless," I said quietly. "How is that possible?"

"I wish I had answers for you," he replied. "However, wishing is nothing more than complaining. I must trust my instincts from this moment on." He took a deep breath and looked over at me with a small smile. "They tell me that you will see Riku once more."

"Just once?" I mumbled.

He laughed – it was a robust, bass tone that seemed to echo across the entire realm. "They may be wrong when it comes to matters of yours. For instance…" He reached into the pocket of his robe with his free hand (I didn't even know he _had_ pockets) and held a gold ring up towards me. "…Perhaps I'm wrong, but could this belong to you?"

I took it from him and examined the words inside – _Always yours – Lori_. I smiled up at Ansem and slid it onto my thumb. "Thank you," I said quietly.

"No need. I saw it lying on the ground where I now stand. You'd have found it either way."

"_Thank you_," I insisted.

He cleared his throat and stared back at the ocean. "Yes. Well."

For a long moment, there was nothing but the sound of waves and Ansem's breathing. My eyes examined the ring on my thumb as my arm hung around his.

"I don't want him to come here," I said. "I don't want him to enter the Realm of Darkness."

He paused a long moment before answering, "You may have light hidden in you yet, Miyuki." He kissed the top of my head and slid his arm free of my grip. "Those instincts tell me that this is my resting place," he said calmly. "Goodnight, Miyuki."

Those words, which had horrified me so many times before, now filled me with a peaceful depression. If I had a heart, it'd have a slow leak. "Goodnight, Ansem."

The moment his foot touched the water, he immaterialized into grains of dust, which drifted away, across the water. No, not dust – it was too bright to be dust. The notion sounded ridiculous in my head, but I was almost certain that he'd turned into grains of light. The gentle coo of the waves seemed to make the idea that someone once laughed here a ridiculous one. I sat down, put my shoes beside me, stretching my legs out in front of me, letting the waves soak my feet and the hem of my pants. I propped myself up with my left hand behind me, my right hand carefully tracing the outline of Ansem's footprints.

"'Light hidden in me yet'…" I mumbled. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"It means the old fool wanted to cheer up a pathetic little girl," Xehanort said.

I rolled my eyes and looked to my left, glaring up at him. "Look, you've obviously won, so just leave me alone, will you?"

"You and I are different, Miyuki."

The glare turned into a blank stare. "If you're going to get all 'just believe in yourself', grab an umbrella, because I will puke _so much_—"

"Our hearts were so strong, remnants of our strength resonate within us!"

"I don't want to talk about this!" I snapped, looking back to the sea, trying to ignore the figure in my peripheral vision.

"We have power – _you_ have power, Miyuki! We can—"

"Shut up!" I shouted, covering my ears.

"—seize the Realm of Light as we have seized the Realm of Darkness!"

"I don't _want_ it! You idiot!" My hands dropped to my sides, clenching into fists. "I don't want the world if I have to hurt everyone in it!"

"Only the troublesome ones need eliminated."

"You mean the ones that don't agree with everything you say! I don't want that! I want to be loved because _they_ want to love me, not because they have no other choice!"

"Power has nothing to do with being loved," he scoffed.

"Well then I don't _want_ it!" I shouted. He looked completely baffled. I shook my head and looked back over at Ansem's footprints. "Leave me alone, Xehanort."

"I see talking will have no effect on you at this point," he huffed, and I heard him step away, walking inland.

_Remnants of my heart… Light hidden in me…_ I shook my head. It was difficult for me to believe that I was ever getting out of here. I was a heartless, and this was where heartless belonged. This was the dwelling place of dark beings that functioned purely by instinct – and I met that requirement not too long ago. I shuddered and crossed my legs Indian-style, then folded my arms tight against my chest as the recollection of that terrible craving resounded in my mind. I lost a part of myself when that happened; I lost all sense of self-control, all sense of security. If you can't trust your own skin, or the survival mechanisms and reflexes built in there, what can you trust?

I brought my knees up towards my chest, arms still crossed. I still wasn't comfortable – I tried laying on my side, facing Ansem's footprints. Hands folded beneath my chin, ring pressed against the skin of my throat, hair falling into my face, I fell asleep, dreaming vividly of the past.

"_When I tell you this, be sure to bear in mind that this is _DiZ's_ theory." Riku took a deep breath. "Sora and Kairi's hearts are connected. No matter where they are, they'll find their way back to each other. DiZ figures, if it's possible that Kairi could rest within him… It's possible that if our hearts were connected, you could've lent me your strength when I was fighting the darkness inside my heart."_

_"It's just eating at me, isn't it?" I said, arching an eyebrow._

_"…I don't like where this is going…"_

_"Should I embrace it?" I shrugged._

_"No," he said quickly._

_"Why?"_

_"You don't want to be consumed by darkness."_

_"Who says it'll consume me? This is the heart you bummed strength off of, remember? I should be strong enough to take it on."_

_"Do you know how long I __basked__ in darkness?"_

_"We had this discussion. Look, if I don't embrace darkness, what am I supposed to do? Ignore it?"_

_"Fight it."_

_"But __how__?" I said, leaning up towards him._

_"I can summon your darkside. The more you fight it, the stronger you'll become—"_

_"Physically stronger, maybe. But what will temporarily disabling the physical manifestation of the darkness in my heart really accomplish?"_

_"It's great anger management," he shrugged._

_"I'm serious."_

_"__Anything__ is better than just inviting darkness to swallow you."_

_"If you can handle it, and our hearts are connected, then _I_ can handle it."_

"_I know darkness perfectly well! You know my history, you should know that!"_

"_Watching Daddy die from a distance is hardly learning it inside out!"_

_I walked over to him in two long strides, pulled my fist back, and slammed it into his nose. He stepped away and held his face in one hand, blood seeping down the front of him._

"_Don't you ever talk about my father," I said, and walked down the stairs._

"_Don't forget your hoodie!" he snapped._

"_Keep it – burn it – use your darkness to send it to my dead Daddy. I don't give a fuck!" I shouted, slamming the door open and stomping towards the gates._

My eyes flew open and I found myself clutching the open edges of my jacket, eyes watering. I decided to blame it on yawning, and the very thought made me yawn immediately, the tears slipping out, down my cheeks. I slapped the sand off my hoodie and wiped my face with the sleeve. _That isn't how it should end,_ I thought. _I can't let my last clear memories be the ones like that._

I stood up and brushed myself off. _DiZ was right. _All I had now were my instincts, and they instructed me to keep walking.

"There's nowhere to go," I whispered, though I picked up my shoes and headed down the shore. "There's no one here but me and the heartless." I rubbed the back of my neck. "…No one here but heartless," I corrected.

A sharp pain shot through my chest, so distinct and fresh that I looked around to see who had stabbed me. I'd just determined that no one was nearby when it struck again, knocking the wind out of me, the shoes falling from my hands. It was as though someone had ahold of the muscles in my chest, twisting them into knots with several jerky motions. I pressed my right hand against the middle of my chest, trying to take a deep breath, but unable to. The third pain hit like a ton of bricks and I fell to my knees, doubling over, propping myself up with my left hand digging into the sand. My eyes watered as I tried desperately to take a full breath.

_I'm finally dying, aren't I?_

Tears dripped from the corners of my eyes like an ill-adjusted faucet, soaking the sand below. The third bolt of pain had turned into a throbbing in my chest that echoed through my hollow veins, and I bent over into a fetal position, praying for it to stop. I didn't care if I died – I was dead to everyone, anyway – but this torture was crippling me, and it wasn't easing up. I shut my eyes as my cheeks were drenched, my lungs gasping to stretch to an extent they just couldn't reach. My muscles tightened, trying to seize up so much that they physically couldn't throb – that only resulted in more pain.

A horrible thought arose in my mind, and I couldn't pinpoint exactly why it had formed. _What if Riku's hurt, and the remnants of my heart are reacting to his?_

I didn't know if I just wanted to see him, or if my instincts really were trying to tell me something – but I forced my muscles to cooperate with my mind, and slowly wobbled to my feet. The throbbing didn't cease; in fact, I had half a mind that it'd decided to increase just to spite me. Clenching my shoes in one hand, pressing my chest with the other, I slowly started walking again. If he came here – if he somehow found himself wandering the Realm of Darkness – he wouldn't face it alone.

The throbbing rocked through every fiber of me, and I grimaced as the agony insisted I sit back down, but I'd be damned if I let discomfort keep me from doing what I wanted – what I _had_ to do.


	65. Chapter 65 The End

Another excruciating step, another shallow breath. My muscles ached with a soreness and fatigue I'd never known – I had to focus solely on walking, or I'd stop moving. My eyes felt tired, my limbs felt tired – I wanted to collapse and sleep for days. But I wanted to know that Riku was alright even more. It occurred to me, on several occasions, that it was a ludicrous notion, chasing after a boy who probably wouldn't even show up. It became painfully clear that the easiest path was to take a seat and wait for him to find me – after all, _I_ was the one in pain – but I couldn't. Something inside me stirred with unrest, discontent, and wouldn't be satisfied until I had scoured every inch of this shore.

A cold figure lifted my arm over its head, tugging me along – I realized it was a neoshadow, and although my arm was killing me worse than ever, I was moving at a considerably quicker pace.

"You're a good helper," I mumbled.

"That's all I ever wanted to be for you."

My eyes widened at the neoshadow, whose voice sounded extremely akin to Orlando's – I had half a mind to tell him to bug off, but I knew he couldn't do me any damage.

"You weren't very helpful when you turned human," I muttered.

He swallowed. "I know. I think… I just got… selfish."

"…I know how that goes." I smiled a little at the neoshadow, though his eyes had been trained ahead of us all the while. "I'm glad we met, Orlando."

"Nah… I like 'Nemo' better." He came to a halt as we passed one more thicket, and shifted beneath my weight. "Can you stand on your own? I've got to go," he said hurriedly.

"Oh. Sure. Bye, Nemo."

"Bye, Miyuki. Thanks."

He disappeared inland, and I looked ahead and realized why he'd ditched. My breath, which was incredibly shallow, stopped entirely when I saw Riku and Sora sitting at the edge of the water. Sora sat between Riku and I, a letter in his hand, his giant stupid hair blocking my view of his best friend. I wanted desperately to call out to them, for them to see me, for them to recognize me, but I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I was shocked that they were here at all, and terrified of what they'd think of me. Combined with the torturous throbbing, I felt like they'd never notice me, standing there in the shadows.

A blinding white light appeared on the surface of the water before them, drawing their attention.

Riku's voice _just_ reached my ears. "Light."

"The door to light," Sora mused. There was a brief pause, then he stood up, holding his hand out to Riku. "We'll go together," he said brightly.

My mouth opened and oh, how terribly I wanted to speak. I'd have given an arm and a leg if I could just get them to notice me, realize I was standing there. Riku's voice uttered a low agreement with Sora, and he stood up alongside him. They stepped towards the light and I felt a pang of loneliness hit me. _He isn't looking for me at all? Not even a backwards glance? Doesn't he…? No, I'm sure I'm making things up. I'm sure._ Actually, I was more certain that my life was over unless I caught up to Riku – not in the sense that I wouldn't survive, but in the sense that I wouldn't _want_ to. I needed answers about a lot of things – I could feel sad about being left behind once I preserved my existence.

My feet kicked into high gear and I ignored the throbbing in my chest, booking it towards them as they stepped towards the light. They were swallowed up by it before I could reach them, their figures disappearing beneath the white glow. My eyes ached, my vision leaving me as I pushed myself towards it. My body was about to collapse. I could feel my muscles weakening, my knees buckling as I reached the door to light.

My feet slipped from beneath me and I crashed forward, my hands slamming into the water, splashing it into my blinded eyes. My arms wobbled beneath my weight, and my body shuddered with pain, a whimper forced from me.

_What kind of sissy am I?_

"The kind that refuses to realize the truth right in front of her," Xehanort hissed, suddenly standing directly at my right, seizing my nearest arm with one hand.

I lifted my head just enough to glare at him. "Don't," I croaked, my voice barely audible.

"He's left you, Miyuki. He knew darkness was in your heart – he had to know you'd end up here. Yet he never looked back."

"Sh… shut…" My voice wouldn't work properly. The throbbing became harsher and harsher, and I felt my body go limp, my head hanging, held up only by Xehanort's grip on my arm.

"Come. This is where you truly belong."

He tucked his hands beneath my arms and started tugging me towards the shore, and a flash of intuition ran across my mind. He was so desperate to control everything; he was so power-hungry… Who taught him that that was the only way to survive? Who made him feel like darkness was the only way? My breathing quickened, and I felt angry tears slip from my eyes as I forced my vocal chords to cooperate.

The scratchy growl escaping my throat didn't sound like my own. "What… _happened_?"

He halted in his tracks and his voice neared me, still holding me up, my toes dragging the ground. "What are you referring to?" he asked, rather politely.

"Why are you… trying to control me?" I took another shallow breath. "What's scaring you?"

That didn't seem to compute, because he was completely silent. After a long moment, he started tugging me up the shore again. The throbbing didn't go away as I spoke – in fact, it worsened – but something inside me was able to force the words out, and they wouldn't stop now.

"Ansem only wanted to keep you from getting hurt."

"He only wanted Aoki!"

_He knew Aoki?_ "Why is that wrong?"

I was hoisted into the air over his head and he glared up at me. "He _took_ her from me."

"Maybe she wasn't yours," I whispered.

He grit his teeth, his eyes narrowing with what I took as sorrow, and I was thrown onto the shore, my side burrowing into the harsh, gritty sand, my nose beginning to bleed. "Why didn't she love me?" Xehanort shouted.

"Why can't you let her go?"

He stared at me a long moment, his chest heaving with each breath. "Why can't you let that _boy_ go?"

"If I know he doesn't want me, I will." Somewhere in the back of my mind, I marveled at how my entire body could feel like shit, but my mouth still worked. "She isn't the only one who cared," I said.

He clicked his tongue against his teeth, shaking his head. "She… I don't…"

"I don't know what happened," I whispered. "I don't know why you act this way…" My voice was dying again, and I struggled to make the words sound as earnest as I meant them. Whatever made him feel as though he had to manipulate people to be happy – no one deserved that. "I care about you, Xehanort."

He gaped at me a moment, a confused expression slowly turning furious. "You need to leave," he muttered.

He stepped towards me and for a moment, I thought he was going to crush me as I laid there – but he grabbed me by my shoulders, tugging me upright and chucking me backwards into the door of light.

The burning, searing sensation that darkness brought on couldn't compare to the invigorating, clean feeling of light sinking into my skin. I fell backwards and the same sensation of stopping – not hitting anything, just stopping – ensued, and I felt flames of both kinds swarming around me. The throbbing died down, my eyes adjusted to the light – instead of seeing black, as darkness displayed, I saw… _nothing_. I was in a state of limbo, in between light and darkness – in between being human, and being a heartless.

I hadn't exactly heard the voice, the words were just there – like a stray thought had suddenly returned, though I hadn't thought it. I felt something inside my chest swell as I recognized the voice as Mom's._ "I am proud of who you are."_

The dark flames twisted up and around my torso, sliding into my mouth like a breath of fresh, freezing air – I felt the fire of light tug me forward, and all at once, I was falling. From cleansing flames, to a blast of warm air, to wind whipping around me, I was cascading downwards at a velocity that should've horrified me. The height I must've been dropped from had to have been at least three times the height of the skyscraper, which had nearly made me crap in my pants. But free-falling felt harmless; in fact, I felt livened, refreshed by the harsh wind, the warm sun.

I hit the surface of the ocean with a deafening splash, and savored every moment immersed beneath the cool, friendly water. I found my way back to the surface and took a deep breath, catching sight of the shore and swimming towards it as quickly as I could. The second my feet the gritty ocean floor, I lurched to my feet and scanned the dry land for silver hair, teal eyes. The waves caressed my waist, trying to coax me back into their cool embrace – but they weren't the embrace I was aching for. My eyes scanned the shore and saw nothing but sand and trees – they snapped to the miniature island across the bridge, and still, no one.

I took a full, deep breath and tried to calm myself. It wasn't working. I waded up to shore, crossing my arms against my chest – I was in my tank top, red hoodie, green cargo pants. I pulled off the hoodie and tied it around my waist – I was soaked to the skin. I circled the island, looking for any sign of them – there was none.

"They must be at the mainland," I muttered to myself, walking over to the rowboat on the dock. "They have to be." If the door to light spat _me_ out here, it had to have spit _them_ out here.

I doubted there had ever been a longer boat trip in the history of mankind. Not only did I worry that I wouldn't find them, I worried that they didn't want me to find them. After an eternity of concern that I hadn't experienced since my last visit to this island, I tied the boat to the dock with a knot that could only be untied using a knife, I scrambled down the street, scanning each alley, each window for a familiar face. Twice I thought I saw Sora – three times, I thought I saw Kairi – but when I saw these peoples' faces clearly, I knew it wasn't them. There was a throbbing in my chest and I clutched my hand to my breastbone, praying for it to wait until I'd found them to act up. However, it just grew worse and worse, and I felt tears pool in my eyes.

"Please, please show up," I hissed. "Please, please…"

My feet found the path leading past my old address – but the downtown area, where I'd spent most of my time as a child, was on a street that passed mine altogether. The sleeve of my hoodie was being rung dry by fidgety hands as tired, nervous tears dripped down my cheek. Finally, I reached the shopping area downtown, and swallowed hard. _Three storefronts down, on the left. A red and white striped awning, a giant ice cream cone sign._

The shop came into view and the throbbing pounded through every vein, so harshly that I could barely hear or feel anything. I pulled the door open and stepped inside. _Please be here. Please. I don't know where else to look._

There was no one in the shop but a grumpy-looking old man behind the counter, who shot me a look as I entered. I swallowed hard and walked to the table I last recalled my father sitting at, taking the seat I'd taken so many years ago. I wiped my face with the back of my hand and folded my arms on the table, staring at the empty chair before me. I could picture him clearly; each crinkle at the corner of his eyes as he smiled, the rumpled, ratty t-shirt he'd worn to work that day, the scruff on his chin. I could imagine his words, hear them in my mind, and couldn't help but mumble them as they ran through my head.

"In this life, our choices usually fall under two categories – the coward's choice, and the honest man's choice."

_I'm afraid of losing Riku, and there's no way to confront that. I don't know what to do._

Hopelessness settled in, and I laid my head on my arms.

_I don't care if he never wanted to look for me. I don't care if he hates me for trying to hurt him and Sora. I don't care, just as long as I know he's okay._

I heard someone shuffle beside my table, and my eyes snapped up, a sliver of hope piping up. Grey hair greeted me, but it was that of the old man that had been behind the counter. He was glaring down at me, offering me a chocolate ice cream cone.

"Girls like chocolate," he stated.

"Girls like chocolate," I echoed, nodding. "But I'm broke."

"On the house. Eat," he commanded. I took the cone from him and he walked back behind the counter, turning his back to me and standing there motionlessly.

I turned my attention to the ice cream cone in my right hand and tried to feel happy as I ate it. Normally I would be elated to have chocolate ice cream, but there's something about eating alone that makes one feel absolutely deserted. That, and the fact that the throbbing was still intense, and pain made it difficult to enjoy my frozen treat. I ended up staring blankly at the chair in front of me as the ice cream melted, wishing I could pinch myself and wake up from this nightmare. _I don't want to be home if he isn't._

Suddenly I was gripped with a whole new fear – what if he never made it out of the door to light? What if that nothingness I felt, that simple, calm nothingness, had taken hold of him?

There was another shuffle behind me, and I glanced down at the ice cream in my hand to see the cone crushed in the fist I'd made, ice cream gushing over my knuckles.

"Excuse me. Do you see a young lady sitting there?"

The warm, stern, soft-spoken voice caught my attention, and I dropped my ice cream on the table as my eyes caught sight of the boy standing at the counter, talking to the man behind it.

"She's staring right at ya," the old man snapped, glaring over his shoulder at him and turning away again as Riku walked over to me.

He sat down across from me, staring at my ice-cream covered hand as I gazed at his bright teal irises, praying for him to make eye contact. Slowly, deliberately, he reached across the table with his left hand and swiped his index finger across my knuckles. The throbbing halted the second his skin brushed against mine – it was replaced with what I recognized as a pulse. He brought his index finger to his mouth and licked the ice cream off, his gaze ever-steady on my hand. I waited for him to speak – I didn't have to wait long.

"I was so sure that I killed you."

I was totally thrown by this. "_Why_?"

He brought his eyes up to mine. "I was looking for you at the foot of the tower. I thought a heartless had come up behind me, so I turned and destroyed it with the Keyblade. But it was you. Maleficent said you were a heartless, and the Keyblade destroys heartless."

"You didn't look for me in the Realm of Darkness because you didn't think I was there," I whispered, mostly to myself.

"You were in the Realm of Darkness?"

I nodded. "I must've teleported myself there before I hit the ground." I swallowed. "I wanted darkness so badly that I would've hurt anyone. I'm so sorry I hurt you, Riku. I am _so_ sorry."

He snorted softly. "Everything I've done to you, and you're apologizing for an almost-injury?"

"Past mistakes have nothing to do with this."

"I know, I'm just…" A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "I'm so glad you're here."

I smiled. "Me, too." I looked down at the mess that was my hand. "I should clean up," I said, looking back up at him.

"I'll be here," he said, nodding once, sharply.

I stood up and walked to the bathroom, shooting a glance at the back of his head as the old man walked over to clean up the table. A fear and uncertainty rose in me as I stepped into the bathroom and washed my hands. As I reached for the handle of the door to exit again, I saw my hand trembling. If I opened this door… If I saw my father on the floor…

Heeding his words and confronting what had me so unsettled, I stepped back into the dining room to see Riku standing two feet away.

"I don't like not seeing you," he said.

"Were you waiting there the whole time?" I asked, eyebrows lifting just a bit.

"No," he said, perfectly serious. He glanced sideways, then focused back on me. "Yes," he confessed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I just… want to be sure this isn't a figment of my imagination."

I glanced over at the old man – he must've been in the back. I brought my eyes to Riku's and hooked my arms around his neck, whispering in his ear. "I am my own person." I kissed his cheek and stepped back, crossing my arms and smiling at him. "Tell me what happened after you beat Maleficent while we go to the island."

We stepped out of the parlor, walking side-by-side down the street as he explained that he didn't defeat Maleficent – he ditched her to find Sora and help him defeat the Organization. He said that Ansem tried unsuccessfully to turn Kingdom Hearts into data, and it turned him back to normal. He said Roxas and Naminé rejoined Sora and Kairi, and Kairi got home before he or Sora could, and nobodies started wreaking havoc on the World That Never Was. They defeated Xemnas, but not before Riku took a harsh shot for Sora and had to rely on him to move around, and they ended up in the Realm of Darkness, finding their way home through the door of light – two days ago.

I sat down on the edge of the dock, eyebrows knitting. "Two days?"

"Two days." He sat on my left, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees. I mimicked his position when he nudged me with his elbow and said, "Your turn. What happened?"

I took a deep breath before I ran through everything – Ansem's words of encouragement, Nemo helping me along the shore, watching them leave, the conversation with Xehanort… When I finally finished, he looked extremely thoughtful.

"What?" I asked warily.

"It sounds like… I could be wrong, but it _sounds_ like… You had the throbbing pain when I got hit by Xemnas."

My eyebrows popped up at him. "That's…" _Remnants of my heart, which is connected to yours, aching because _you_ were hurt…?_

"…And I think…" He stared at the water below, rubbing the back of his neck. "…your heart must have hidden in mine. Darkness doesn't give hearts back. How else could you still be alive?"

I stared at him for a long moment, waiting until he peeked up at me from beneath his bangs to speak. "Admit it, Batman. You just want to be the savior."

He rolled his eyes. "I think _you_ just have a self-image complex, Robin. Excuse me for trying to make sense of all this."

"In all seriousness, though… I think you're right," I said.

"Yeah?" he said quietly.

I took his hand and held his fingertips against the crook my neck, against my pulse point. I wanted to laugh at the shade of red his face was now tinted with, but seeing him respond that way turned my cheeks just as rosy.

"Looks like I was a safe enough place to keep it," he muttered.

"_You are_ my safe place."

Those words sounded much less dramatic in my head, but no less true. His lips curved into a small smile. "And for the first time in two days, I'm home again."

My hand dropped to my side, but he slid his to the edge of my chin, turning my face towards his. It suddenly felt very silent and very private – Xehanort was gone, there was no reminder that we'd have to get up early and go look for Sora, and there was no one around for at least a two-mile radius. Heart pounding in my ears, face turning completely red, I stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights. He smiled amusedly at me, and gently brought his lips to mine, just barely connecting them, our eyes drifting shut. His fingers traced a line down my throat, resting in the hollow at the base of my neck. The heel of his hand rested against my breastbone, and he tilted his forehead against mine, eyes opening to look at me again.

"Did I mention that my house is still intact?" he asked.

"Subtle," I scoffed.

"What? No, I just meant that—"

I turned my voice to a deep, mocking bass tone. "'This is my couch. It's _really_ comfortable. And this is my bedroom. Look how _cozy_ the _bed_ is.'"

"Hey, I was just trying to keep you from spending unnecessary munny at the inn."

"Right, right," I said incredulously. "Of course you were." I broke away from him and stood up on the edge of the dock. "So what now?" I asked, giving him a hand as he stood up, himself.

"What do you mean 'what now'?"

"I mean… What do we do? We're back home…" I looked towards the mainland, hooking my thumbs in my pockets. "We should probably… I don't know, get jobs?" something dark on the surface of the ocean caught my eye, and I was too busy trying to figure out what it was to pay attention to what Riku said. I turned and leaned over the edge of the dock, squinting at the mystery item. Thirty feet away, and the light bouncing off the water made it impossible to see it properly. Twenty feet away, and I could almost make out the shape – a rectangle, I thought. Ten feet away, and I knelt at the edge of the dock, leaning down to grab it. I could hardly believe it – it was my messenger bag.

I pulled it out of the water, backing up to lay it on the dock in front of me.

"Your bag?" Riku muttered.

I opened it carefully, praying that the water hadn't damaged anything. To my relief, the entire inside of the bag was completely dry – including my sketchbook. I pulled it out and grinned at the sketch of Aerith, Squall, Yuffie, Cid, and myself. I held it up towards Riku.

"Aerith drew this," I said proudly.

"Pretty good," Riku said, nodding.

I smiled at the sketch of Mom before shutting the sketchbook, with Aerith's work inside it. I stuffed the sketchbook back into the bag and slung it over my shoulder, standing up and smiling at Riku.

"We'll figure something out," I said.

"Yeah," he agreed. Something occurred to him, and he walked up towards the mini-island, a look in his eye I couldn't quite place. "Yeah, we will," he muttered, half to himself.

"What're you doing?" I asked warily, following him closely. He never answered, and I only stopped following him when he jumped onto the sideways tree, snagging a paopu off the end and chucking it to me. It hit me upside the head and I fumbled it in the air a few times before catching it with my right hand and shooting him a look.

"I'm kind of hungry," he said, the tiniest hint of a smirk on his face as he stepped back onto land, standing directly to my left.

"Again, subtle," I said, waving it in his face. "Clocking a girl upside the head isn't the way to win her affections."

"Really? It used to work all the time," he said with mock thoughtfulness.

I glanced down at his right hand, which had secured itself around my waist, and arched an eyebrow at him. "Don't think I don't see what you're doing," I said.

"Ah, so I have your attention," he said victoriously, and fixed his attention on the paopu fruit, laying his left hand over my right and holding the fruit up in front of us. "Who takes the first bite?"

"You. I don't trust it."

He snorted. "What, you think it might bite back?"

"Hey, there's no guarantee it tastes as good as it did in the dream."

"Oh sure, make _me_ the guinea pig."

"That's my plan. Dig in, Batman."

He tilted the star horizontally and brought it towards his face. My hand was pinned between his and the paopu, the heel of my palm cradling the corner of the fruit he now bit into. His lower lip grazed my hand and he pulled back slowly, looking very thoughtfully at the chunk he'd left out as juice ran down my wrist.

"Hmmm." He swallowed and pulled the paopu towards him again. I assumed he was going to take another bite, and felt my face turn entirely pink when he pressed his lips against my wrist, his tongue slipping against my skin, lifting the juice off my wrist. My heart slammed in my ears and I was almost certain that the rush of blood and hormones were going to cause brain damage. He pulled back, his left hand trailing down my right arm as his right hand tugged me closer to him. "It's not bad," he said quietly.

No verbal response formed in my mind – the most sensible thing I seemed capable of was to take a bite of the paopu, which I did now. Another corner of the fruit was chewed off and I recognized the almost-strawberry-but-not-quite flavor. My eyes trailed down to Riku's left hand, which was gently turning me by my elbow until the only thing separating us was the hand holding the paopu.

"Well?" he whispered, leaning his mouth down to my ear, warm breath spilling down my neck, his lips brushing against my skin. "What do you think?"

My hand dropped the paopu and wrapped around the edge of his vest, pushing him back just slightly and pressing my lips against his. He exhaled sharply and his grip tightened around me, pulling me closer to him, my back bowing as he deepened the kiss.

"Eek! Oh, _now_ you've asked for it!" squealed Kairi threateningly from the distance.

The shock that these two had actually reached the island without mine or Riku's knowledge resulted in him snapping away from me, instantly three feet from me, crossing his arms indifferently. I stumbled backwards, rubbing the back of my neck, looking down at the shore to see Sora and Kairi waist-deep in the water by the dock, splashing one another.

"Oh, so she _wasn't_ yelling at us," I said with relief, still stepping back nervously. My heel hooked on a weed and I tumbled backwards over the edge of the island, my back smacking the surface of the water with a loud snap. Water rushed into my ears and I scrambled onto my side, getting to my feet as quickly as possible. I was soaked once again.

I wiped my face with one hand and looked up to say, "I'm fine!" when I realized that no one was peeking over the edge, checking on me. I waited for a face to appear – I glanced around to see if anyone had come around the edge of the island to see if I was alright – nothing. I spent the next few minutes scanning the shore for a rock to throw at Riku for ditching me in my time of need, and found only a handful of pebbles. Clutching them with a death grip, voices conversing overhead, I waded over to the ladder on the other side of the mini-island and clambered up it. I peeked over the edge with a glare and found Sora holding a large piece of paper, Riku and Kairi on either side of him, all three reading intently. I had second thoughts about the handful of pebbles and tossed them into the ocean behind me, clambering up onto the land.

"Thanks for making sure I'm okay, there, Riku!" I snapped.

Sora and Kairi gaped at me and Riku looked confused.

"What? It's not _my_ fault you decided to ditch!" he retorted.

"I didn't ditch, I _fell_!"

"Oh. I didn't know that."

"But you were dead!" Sora said confusedly. "How…?"

"He killed a heartless that looked like me. Not me," I said, pointing at Riku.

"That's so great!" Kairi said, grinning. "Welcome home, Miyuki!"

I snuck a glance at Riku before returning my gaze to her and smiling. "Thanks." I walked over and leaned across Riku, peering at the paper, purposefully blocking his view of it. "What's this?"

"Letter from the King," Sora answered.

"Ooh! Exciting."

Riku grabbed the top of my head and pulled it out of his way. "Bad window, good door," he said, shooting me a dark look.

I took note of his hand discreetly winding around my hip. "Sorry, Batman, just wanted to see what our new adventure was."

This should've made me nervous, or feel exhausted, or wish the King's letter had gotten lost. Another adventure, so soon after getting home… My ignorant side said it was too much to handle, leaving home again so soon. But the rest of me protested that my home was Riku, and it wouldn't take a paopu fruit to guarantee that our destinies would be intertwined. After all, every superhero could use a sidekick… and Riku seemed up to the task.

* * *

**A BIG THANKS TO:**

**Xenia-Merlo**

**stifledcreativity**

**Kanika Meskhenet**

**PyroScorpion**

**Sarah K.R.**

**BabyBumblebee17**

**Kaiyt**

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**xDarkMelodiesx**

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**Mirror Rain**

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**ovenfreshh**

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**14darkness**

**an1995616**

**Azura Soul Reaver**

**Bubblegum Crisis**

**A Fish That Has A Secret Wish**

**Ella Kinkari**

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**Katarina Vi Britannia**

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**santa (I'm sorry I ever said I didn't believe in you, btw.)**

**Demented Girl Child**

**MikaUchiha666**

**TheBeginningsEnd**

**Random-Crap-To-The-Rescue**

**Siean Horoc**

**moe lester**

**piefruitlovrmonkey **

**kenegi**

**Jessa**

**BeautifulShadowsKeybearer1317**

**Kallissa**

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**LadyOfTheBlackWaters**

**SoulSilverShipping**

**MisterMagical**

**IHateKate**

**Aereyia Hikari**

**And most importantly, Tetsuya Nomura, for making such a brilliant story.**


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